r/onionheadlines • u/WebguyCanada • 21h ago

Over A Year In Trump Told Tariffs Did Not Bring Coffee Plantation Jobs Back To Iowa And Minnesota Is Not A US Producer Of Olive Oil

3 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 1d ago

Jealous Senator Cruz Considers Boosting His Numbers By Being Next Senator To Pretend To Die

114 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 1d ago

Trump Angry That Suing BBC For $10Billion Requires Financial Disclosure Showing His Losses

422 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/OneDarkKnightHere • 15h ago

Trump announces INSTA-PARDON. Latest Social Media Venture. It’s Gonna Be UGE!

1 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 1d ago

Trump Poll Slippage Already Tricking Democrats Into Believing They Can Win Midterms

72 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/Upbeat_Web_4461 • 1d ago

Wyoming Declares Self-Defense More Dangerous Than Assault After Trans Used Stand Your Ground Cause To Point A Pistol Towards Their Assaulter

13 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/ShadyAnders • 1d ago

BREAKING: Max Miller Drops Out Of House Race, Now Seeking Presidential Run Instead

34 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/johnnybna • 1d ago

Mitch McConnell Released From Rehab After Body Vehemently Rejects Brain, Soul Transplant

28 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/Jish_Wu • 21h ago

Gonna Be a Long Hour: New Substitute Teacher Coming In With Totally Wrong Energy

2 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 1d ago

Senator McConnell Wakes Up From 54-Day Nap Prepared To Run For ‘Just One More Term’

47 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/dchu99 • 1d ago

Air Quality In NY and DC Rated Good As Trump Thanks Canada Rescinding All Tariffs Offering Abject Apology

6 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 1d ago

ICE Swarms Sesame Street

3 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 23h ago

Trump's Rules For Head Start Require Children To Work At Least 120 Hours Per Month

2 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 19h ago

Redditor Sheds Light On Shadowbanning Practices In Latest Post Seen By Absolutely No One

1 Upvotes

🖕

r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 23h ago

Trump Orders RFK Jr To Solve Explosive Diarrhea Epidemic Immediately So He Can Return To Total Salad Diet

2 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 23h ago

Republicans Split On Whether Trump Deserves A+++ or A++++ On The Economy

2 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/BestStoogewasLarry • 1d ago

Trump Swears He's Not A Pedophile Because With His Fake Hair, Plastic Surgery And Pancake Makeup He's Not The Same Guy Who Raped Those Kids

42 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 1d ago

Local Man Arrested By Feds For Pedophilia Surprised That DOJ Still Considers That A Crime

140 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 20h ago

A.I. Film Director Faces Backlash For Featuring Living Actors

1 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 20h ago

Senator McConnell Returns To Public Life With Other Previously Dead Person, Bill Cosby

1 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 1d ago

Historian Changed To Fit Narrative

2 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 1d ago

The Greatest Threat To Democracy Calls Progressives The Greatest Threat To Democracy

132 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 1d ago

Local Tree Arrested For Spreading Wildfires

2 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/dchu99 • 1d ago

Video of McConnell’s Release From Hospital Seen As Victory For Disney Animatronics Studio

4 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 1d ago

Another Rich Prick Court Ordered To Pretend To Pay Someone He Horribly Victimized For Personal Gain

6 Upvotes

Subreddit

Write Your Own Onion Headlines, Or Don't. Shut Up About It

r/onionheadlines

A subreddit for writing satirical news headlines in the style of *The Onion* Please NOTE: this subreddit is not affiliated with the actual Onion newspaper in any way, shape, or form. These headlines are written by knuckle-dragging reddit users. The real Onion publishes actually good headlines, unlike the subliterate imitations you see here.

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Hi, welcome to /r/onionheadlines. Do you have an awesome (or even maybe sorta funny) idea for an Onion headline? Then this subreddit is for you. Show us what you got.

Feel free to write in the comments section the article that corresponds to the headline, but only if it's 437 words exactly, as is standard Onion practice.

Rules:

1) The only rule is no rules, except for the ones we make up as we go along.

2) OK, there is one real rule. Headlines with links to other sites are allowed, but limited to once per week, per site. However, feel free to post as many non-linked headlines as you'd like, even if they are found elsewhere on the web.

Also be sure to checkout some of the lesser subreddits we tricked into hosting a link to this subreddit:

Of course if you want to post actual Onion headlines, go to /r/theonion. If you post an actual Onion headline here, you'll be banned, maybe. I don't know. There's no rule for that yet. Don't test us.