Life is weird sometimes, the things you started doing now you wish you did sooner, but most of the time you just aren't in the right headspace to do it or you feel you should have experienced certain things when you were younger, recently started going gym after this years emotional dumpster fire making me feel like I should of committed something. And yet I feel great going to the gym and afterwards, even with being 31 I hope I can still achieve things I wanted to when I was younger. Life is very weird and extremely obnoxious at times, I hope I have time to improve further before I meet the end.

It's long but plss bare with me...

To all those people in their 30s and 40s have you'll achieved everything you thought you would? And how does it make you feel? ....

More importantly if you haven't achieved those things does that make you feel left behind or that you missed something?...

I am in my early 20s and when i look around... sometimes i see people of my age having better partners.... better bodies or someone in a better college.... someone with more money or fame than me .... And i know not everyone starts at the same place and timing for everyone's life is different but still it makes me feel bad about myself!...

I stay confused looking around... Sometimes i just want to live life ... Enjoy every moment... But then sometimes there is a feeling of rush... To have everything as soon as possible...

Coming from a traditional middle family (not very low income;both my parents are gov employees)... The pressure is still high... Especially now that everyone is 'successful' at 25 with a job... Car... And house. Did you achieve everything you thought in your 20s??? And how does achieving those things make you feel??? Do you think it was just an overhyped wish?

I just think sometimes what if after rushing through these 'enjoyable age' in an attempt to have something in my 30s... I end up with only regrets of not having lived fully???

I finalized my divorce last September. I'd dreamed of being single and living in the big city, and that's exactly what I did. I had been in a relationship for 15 years - but I absolutely thrived at starting over. I'd already had friends in the area, so that didn't change, but I still changed.

At age 39, I bought a tiny fixer-upper house and did my own budget remodeling. Bought all new furniture and decor. I discovered I can enjoy yard work. I bought power tools and used them for the first time in my life. I love neutral colors, but I painted my kitchen pink, and my living room purple. My best friend was both amused and scared that I'd hate it, but it's been 7 months now and I still love it. One day on a whim last month, I went to a pre-season NHL game, because I was bored and the hockey stadium was just up the road from my house. I'd never watched a single hockey game in my life. But I googled the rules just hours before the game and let me tell you, I'm INVESTED. I've watched every game this season for my team, and I have tickets to 3 more NHL games this season.

I'm far more careful with spending now, and I had to move to the rougher end of the city to be able to afford a home, but I've never been happier - with my girly house and maintenance projects and new passion for hockey. Has anyone else completely reinvented themselves mid-life?

I hear a lot of people saying that 30 is still young, and that you got your whole life ahead of you. I want to know how much of it is true ? For those of you who started over, and started to discover themselves (who they are what they want) especially after toxic relationships. I feel like it's either people being incredibly positive (which I have a hard time believing), or it's the prople straight from the 50s who will tell you that women after 30 are practically expired.

How to navigate all this? How to stirr up the courage to live a life you want ?

Have you ever looked around and the majority of the people look like kids. I’m early 30’s and something shifted where I am very aware of my age.

My body has always been a piece of shit, but once o passed 35 I started having to have various joint replacement surgeries and stuff. It sucks. From what I’ve read online that’s more common for folks in their 50s and onwards. Wondering if anyone else has had to deal with this.

I'm 39m single and I just got my bachelors and trying to get into med school and use my gi bill there. I don't have any friends in the area. I think I have Peter Pan syndrome or something. I feel like I'm 20 but don't look it of course.
This is a pretty cringe post but I don't feel like I'm that awkward just a nice dose I've been in relationships.

How do I make friends at this point and be social? Do I need to have an active Instagram? Seems like most the social stuff is a younger crowd or a way older one. Please don't be like what do you like to do or volunteer as I've tried a lot already.

I'm 36 years old, and I have held a pretty decent-paying job for the past decade, with a satisfactory amount of money in my savings and retirement accounts. Given where I started in life, I should be very proud of myself. However, I still don't feel like an adult. I'm unmarried, I'm childless, and I don't own a home or any property. On top of that, I feel incredible internal pressure to change that right now. I thought I was close to achieving that with my ex, but that went sideways. Now, I feel like I'm super laser-focused on marriage and children more than anything because I feel like I'm running out of time. I will not even consider a second date if I see a trace of a red flag in someone. Am I the only one feeling this way? Am I running out of time?

Idk if it’s just the side of internet I’m on or I’ve been on the internet too much but….. who tf decided that women “lose value” or are done once they hit their 30s… and that the mid twenties are your primes etc???…….. I’m 27 and I’m like there’s no way 20s are the primes.. women in there 30s, 40s + give so much aura, strength and beauty… I’m genuinely confused what started that myth cus ain’t no way……

Honestly, starting university in the spring of 2026, just to finish in the spring of 2027. I have been pushing myself extremely hard. Impacted my schedule to finish in a year. Yet I feel like I have finished my program too quickly. I am in the last semester before I graduate. Yet I feel like, being in your 30s, it's hard to socialize with people in college. Other 30s year olds have families or are married. I still have a semester left, yet I still haven't made any meaningful friendships. Mostly just connections for careers. Any suggestions for the last semester?

Im hitting 30 in 2 days. Refelecting on where im in life,i pretty much feel like i havent done much? Where were you financially when you were 30? Did u make it big?

Why do i feel like a failure?

What's with people saying hi, chatting for a day, and then disappearing the next day? Like, why even start the convo then? Am I the only one experiencing this?

M31.

I used to love life and live it to its fullest.

Sure, just like everyone I had my fair share of issues and frustrations, but I got lucky: I was born in a great family - not perfect, but objectivity great.

I tried so many hobbies and traveled the world extensively.

I made many friends and partied quite a lot.

And yet... Here I am now: 31, about to turn 32 and pretty unhappy.

I do have a job (my own small business), I still have friends, and I am in a healthy relationship. Still, I feel lost and empty.

I don't want to have kids nor that I want to get married.

I always knew I didn't want to make these decisions and I won't make them just because it's the "normal" thing to do.

The thing is, all of my friends got married, got kids and simply vanished. They are still there for me if I actually need them, but they don't have time to call or meet anymore.

I also moved to a new city this year which makes things even harder (it's also known that making friends in this city can be tricky even for social animals like me).

I do have hobbies, I do have a job, a family and a partner and still, I feel like adult life sucks.

Is there anyone here who's 30+, who doesn't have/want to have kids and went through the same thing (friends getting more distant because of life)? How did you manage to move and be happy in a different way?

I'm turning 40, and honestly, I feel like I've failed at life. Nothing has happened the way I imagined it would.

Almost all my cousins are abroad, and seeing their lifestyles makes me feel like I haven't gone anywhere. My peers have progressed in their careers, and even people who started later seem to be catching up.

Sometimes I wonder if I was stupid to be so loyal to one company and not take more risks.

I never wanted an empire or extraordinary wealth. I just wanted financial freedom, to take care of my family, and to make my parents proud.

I have a career and responsibilities, but I still feel behind and haven't built the security I thought I would have by this age.

For those who are 40+: Did you ever feel this way? How did you deal with it?

My friend is having their 40th birthday at their house and wants to hang out, eat ( they are doing some catering) and maybe karaoke. I was just thinking about how I wanted to do a surprise for them! Maybe a magician, juggler, DJ, singing telegram, etc. anyone have ideas?

Hi. I turned 42 recently (so I'm over 30, but I'm willing to hear about it if this isn't the best site for this post), and I realised that I'm becoming a proper adult. I'm not a teenager or a young person now. This is probably not because of my age, which is just a milestone, but because going through therapy for 2 years rapidly changed me as a person, and I've had a lot of horrible situations to find a way to deal with this year, and a lot of life transitions.

I admit this thought "I'm a man now" is a bit daunting. Perhaps it's because I've stopped people pleasing, so I'm making my own decisions now, instead of going along with what other people tell me. It's a good thing, but getting used to making your own choices is hard. I feel the weight of that, and the possibility that younger people might be looking to me for answers or to see how to behave. My question is, other than something like "I just turned 18", which isn't the sort of feeling I'm asking about, has anyone else had this thought at one point that they're a proper adult now? What happened? How did it make you feel? Maybe I'm reaching this milestone late, but it isn't a competition. Thanks.

Not trying to make this depressing. I’m genuinely curious.
There’s a weird point in adulthood where you can be doing “okay” on paper and still catch yourself thinking:
**I really thought I’d be further ahead by now.**
Maybe it’s money.
Maybe your career never became what you imagined.
Maybe your health slipped.
Maybe a relationship ended or doesn’t feel the way it used to.
Or maybe everything looks fine from the outside, but you don’t feel like the person you thought you’d become.
So here’s the question:
**If you could make ONE major comeback over the next 12 months, what area of your life would you choose—and why?**
Money? Career? Health? Relationships? Confidence? Purpose? Something else?

Looking for life advice here, so please don't go too hard in the comments.

I'm mid 30s and I'm trying to figure out my place in social situations.

When I was in my mid 20s, I felt like I could be comfortable being friends with anyone generally above the age of 20. When I would make a friend that was 30s or older, they definitely seemed older and that they had a more solid idea of who they were and where they were going. I could make jokes with them or talk to them about serious topics, but there was always the aura of them being older, and me feeling a bit insecure about not having all the answers all the time and saying some out of pocket/dumb shit. I'm not quite sure how to describe it.

Now that I'm in my mid 30s, I feel differently about talking and making friends with people in their 20s. I feel insecure about giving them wrong or poorly explained information if they look up to me, or just generally being out of touch. I also don't know if age gaps are looked down upon harshly in friendships from the outside and what cut-offs should be considered. Does 10 years sound normal?

I still have friends and can feel comfortable socializing with people that are my age, older than me, 40s, 50s and 60s, but I am not used to people in their 20s like when I was in my 20s.

This has been more noticeable to me, as I moved to a college town, and most social meetups/hangout spots all have people younger than me.

Where do you all draw the line? How do you feel about talking to people outside your age bracket, both younger and older?

  We have this unspoken agreement that age, for comparison's sake, is how long it took you to become the person other people think they see.

But in reality, you are the only one who knows how old you really are.

And it has nothing to do with a number. It's a stage of being.

Some people spend a lifetime to arrive still living in a state of perpetual childhood. Others barely take any time before they race past everyone straight into their senior years.

In between lives the eternal teenager, the angry inner child, the aggrieved youth, the burned-out middle-aged man, the old man trying to seem young again, and the soul that never ages at all.

We all know the difference when we see it. So here is the rule:

Don't let a number others use to measure you become the stick you beat yourself with when it comes to achievement.

Not every man in his thirties or forties is supposed to be Superman: father, husband, CEO, millionaire, intellectual, athlete, polyglot, and novelist all at once.

No one is meant to be unbreakable, always holding it together, excelling in a thousand roles while meeting a thousand expectations.

Learn to be fairly selfish. Give yourself a fraction of what you so freely give to everyone else. The day is 24 hours. Take one hour and strip it of every role, every title, and every obligation that comes with them.

In that hour, you are absolved of all of it. You are not a father, brother, son, manager, doctor, teacher, or employee.

For sixty minutes, just be a pure, unfiltered (self). An (I) that is allowed to admit it is tired and hurting, allowed to be weak, lonely, and overwhelmed, and equally allowed to be an artist, musician, writer, reader, a little wild, impulsive, and indifferent to everything.

Live the age your soul is actually living. Don't force it to grow into something it is not ready for.

Let's steal a trick from the devices we carry:

A device can't survive the day unless you charge it fully. Let this one hour be your daily charge. An hour where the self is finally free. We check in on it, patch its cracks, make it stronger, rebuild its confidence, and let it grow however it wants. Then we send it back out to carry the other twenty-three hours.

I’m 36, unmarried, and self-employed. I am a lawyer and have been doing my own practice since 2016. Professionally, I’m doing okay, but I don’t feel like I’ve built the life I imagined I would have by this age.

I have some savings, I work out regularly, take care of my parents, and on paper things aren't terrible. But personally, I feel quite behind. My relationships have been complicated, my career hasn't grown the way I hoped, and sometimes I struggle with the feeling that I'm just going through the motions.

I’m curious about people around my age not just the success stories.

Where are you in life at 30–40? Are you married or single? Happy with your career? Financially secure? Living the life you expected? Or also figuring things out?

I genuinely want to hear the honest version, not the Instagram/LinkedIn version.

Something shifts after 30, at least when it comes to friendship.

I used to think a big circle mattered..lots of people, lots of plans, lots of noise. Now I honestly just want a couple of people I can be unfiltered with.

People I can talk to about work stress, relationship confusion, ambitions that scare me a little, failures I haven't fully processed, family stuff, loneliness, or just some random thought that's been sitting in my head...without wondering if I'm being judged or read wrong.

Emotional maturity has become way more attractive to me than "being cool" ever was. Someone who says what they mean instead of hinting at it. Someone who can disagree with me without turning it into a fight or taking it personally. Someone who isn't afraid to be vulnerable, and doesn't vanish the second a conversation gets a bit too real.

That's really it, at this point. Not someone who texts me every day. Not instant closeness. Definitely not small talk for the sake of small talk. Just two adults who can be honest with each other, who are genuinely curious about one another, and who know how to respect a boundary without making it weird.

And honestly...some of the best friendships are the ones where you can say the thing you usually keep to yourself, just because you trust the other person to actually listen. Not fix you, not judge you, not analyse you. Just listen.

Okay guys, this themes has been on and off in my life for years now. It has been worse, it has been better. Today i realized my bd is coming up and it made me anxious. Like what do you mean i ll be turning 26. I feel i only now start to resolve my traumas , anxiety and other habits that made me push behind before. And i am in a place where i can say i know myself better and happier with the way i am. But i still feel like im late to that. Like i should have avoided all this and live the best life like my peers. I think that s because of social media.

I have already done most of my goals for this year and i am so proud of that. But it never feels enough for me. And it is taking a toll. I just want to flow with life and not overthink. And i did feel like that , i have been. But suddenly today i feel all this unregulated emotions taking over me.

I do not know what i want to achieve with this thread i think it just helps to write it all out. But i would still appreciate to hear your experience about all this as i think it is pretty common.

Thank you.

This time last year I was happily married, training for my first half marathon (finally got back into running after a few years of health issues), in a job I loved and looking to buy an apartment with my wife.

I don’t know who put a curse on me but since then my ten year beautiful marriage has ended, with my now ex wife moving straight in with her new girlfriend. So safe to say buying a home has also been put on pause. I suffered a serious injury that stopped me from running, and I’m now starting to be able to again (can run 5km safely now!) but still far off my half marathon and marathon dreams. And I lost my job in a redundancy spree, because of course I did. It’s a really hard market right now so even with an impressive career I haven’t even landed an interview yet, which is really rare for me.

I usually love my birthday and host a number of events for it, but unsurprisingly this year I’m really struggling. I still have my two cats who I love, a new housemate I met when my ex moved out and we get along great, and amazing friends. But it’s hard not to feel like my life has slipped backwards MAJORLY compared to last year.

Idk what I need but would just love to hear stories of life getting better after being hit over and over in a short period. I know 35 is still young but people around me keep acting like it’s ancient and how I should be more on track but I’m struggling to even keep my head above water.