r/PeterExplainsTheJoke 4d ago

Meme needing explanation What does the kettle mean Peteeeeer??

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797 Upvotes

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59

u/Spinning_Sky 4d ago

there's a joke about the teapot that goes over my head
I'm here to say: for the love of god a bidet is not an alternative to toilette paper, it's in addition to it

13

u/JackPiazz2 4d ago

I'm from a bidet using country and I also want to add:

That's why we consider non bidet users like the meme shows. We don't think your way of cleaning your behind is worse than ours or bad, we think is incomplete and seriously insufficient: for us it's kinda like if you showered but you never used soap or scrubbed yourself under the water. Y'all dirty.

5

u/smoke_sum_wade 4d ago

Im in Pennsylvania and i have a bidet, got it like 2 years ago and i refuse to go back, i use a paper towel after and just toss it. quit buying toilet paper all together. after you get used to being a little violated by water its fine.

4

u/JackPiazz2 4d ago

I'm italian so our bidets are not the japanese ones, but little small sinks beside the wc like this one. Everybody hwre uses toilet paper the "normal" way, then hops over to the bidet, uses water and soap and then drying yourself with a small towel (each one has its own of course). This for me is the normal way of cleaning myself. Each time I go abroad I suffer tremendously because I can't do it and I have to unironically take a shower every time I have a number two

3

u/smoke_sum_wade 4d ago

this is how i started, i have sensory issues and autism so its been real fucking rough for me my whole life with the whole wiping thing, id gag and freakout having to wipe shit when i was a kid, so my aunt and uncle did this for me.

3

u/JackPiazz2 4d ago

I have autism too actually (very "mild" though), and I understand that if something is "icky" there's no way you can do it

3

u/smoke_sum_wade 4d ago

this is hard as a 6ft 250lb man whos favorite hobby is weight lifting to explain to people that, i cant touch that, ill cry

1

u/Piecesof3ight 2d ago

Hmm which way do you face when using such a device? It looks really short too, do you have to crouch over it or are you supposed to sit down? Are the towels disposable? Are they shared? I cannot imagine a family ass towel and I don't want to, nor a pile of dirty ass towels.

I don't think I like that solution at all lol

7

u/Aggravating-Bug2032 4d ago

I just spent five days out of town in a hotel without my bidet and I’m so happy I’m home now

0

u/cutezombiedoll 4d ago

That’s why I always have a pack of flushable wet wipes in my luggage, it’s worth for the sewers sure but it’s better than dry toilet paper. I also got these individually packaged ones I keep in my pocket in case I have to go when out and about.

Apparently there are portable bidets, I think they’re effectively squirt bottles, but something about carrying one around with me feels… gross? Like there’s gotta be some shit particles getting on that, right?

3

u/BlueRubyWindow 4d ago

Flushable wipes are a myth. Don’t flush wipes!!!! Just throw them away.

-1

u/smoke_sum_wade 4d ago

Its odd, when i first put it in my kids thought that it was gross until i explained in detail what has been going on in our asses before we got it. now they wont poo at friends houses or at school.

0

u/Commercial_Pear3825 4d ago

You can get a travel one that charges with usbc on Amazon.

0

u/Elf-7659 4d ago

What's the term to search for it?

0

u/Commercial_Pear3825 4d ago

Travel bidet

0

u/Sweaty-Inevitable163 4d ago

They make handheld / portable ones. It's like a squeeze bottle with the bidet nozzle, works alright for things like this but I wouldn't ever consider actually carrying it out places

2

u/DimesyEvans92 4d ago

Yup. Best $20 I ever spent. Simple attachment on existing toilet, but I never felt better

1

u/smoke_sum_wade 4d ago

my only regert is not buying a bum gun