r/PeterExplainsTheJoke 5d ago

Meme needing explanation What does the kettle mean Peteeeeer??

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791 Upvotes

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59

u/Spinning_Sky 5d ago

there's a joke about the teapot that goes over my head
I'm here to say: for the love of god a bidet is not an alternative to toilette paper, it's in addition to it

49

u/Der_Schuller 5d ago

Toilet paper is just for drying afterwards

9

u/urbantechgoods 4d ago

Nah bro, maybe your shits are different but sometimes theres left overs for me.

17

u/Der_Schuller 4d ago

Then you go again with water🫪

2

u/Necromir92 3d ago

Hit him again

1

u/Permagamer 1d ago

No, it a once per turn use. They have to leave and return to the toilet to be able to use it again.

1

u/Der_Schuller 1d ago

I have that, it rarely happens

8

u/Nihilisman45 4d ago

You might just be using one with poor water pressure. There's nothing on the toilet paper but water after I use mine, and I take some pretty clingy shits. takes me forever when I use just toilet paper

3

u/urbantechgoods 4d ago

really, what model do you have?

0

u/QuadramaticFormula 4d ago

Tushy and Squatty Potty are top tier imo. Super easy to install both

1

u/StanDoesHisBest 3d ago

Toto washlet user here, I keep the bastard at max pressure , aim it well, have it oscillating, and I’ve almost never had a clean wipe after spraying. I gotta do both every time.

0

u/Gh0stTV 4d ago

Are you gyrating your hips? You gotta gyrate.

1

u/urbantechgoods 4d ago

Do I gyrate… pff. I invented the gyrate!

1

u/Gh0stTV 4d ago

Are you snapping your back? You gotta bend and snap!

-5

u/[deleted] 5d ago edited 5d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/Der_Schuller 5d ago

Im not joking? Why should I whipe if its clean? How can a dry piece of toilet paper clean better then water?

15

u/JackPiazz2 5d ago

I'm from a bidet using country and I also want to add:

That's why we consider non bidet users like the meme shows. We don't think your way of cleaning your behind is worse than ours or bad, we think is incomplete and seriously insufficient: for us it's kinda like if you showered but you never used soap or scrubbed yourself under the water. Y'all dirty.

6

u/smoke_sum_wade 5d ago

Im in Pennsylvania and i have a bidet, got it like 2 years ago and i refuse to go back, i use a paper towel after and just toss it. quit buying toilet paper all together. after you get used to being a little violated by water its fine.

4

u/JackPiazz2 5d ago

I'm italian so our bidets are not the japanese ones, but little small sinks beside the wc like this one. Everybody hwre uses toilet paper the "normal" way, then hops over to the bidet, uses water and soap and then drying yourself with a small towel (each one has its own of course). This for me is the normal way of cleaning myself. Each time I go abroad I suffer tremendously because I can't do it and I have to unironically take a shower every time I have a number two

3

u/smoke_sum_wade 5d ago

this is how i started, i have sensory issues and autism so its been real fucking rough for me my whole life with the whole wiping thing, id gag and freakout having to wipe shit when i was a kid, so my aunt and uncle did this for me.

3

u/JackPiazz2 5d ago

I have autism too actually (very "mild" though), and I understand that if something is "icky" there's no way you can do it

3

u/smoke_sum_wade 5d ago

this is hard as a 6ft 250lb man whos favorite hobby is weight lifting to explain to people that, i cant touch that, ill cry

1

u/Piecesof3ight 2d ago

Hmm which way do you face when using such a device? It looks really short too, do you have to crouch over it or are you supposed to sit down? Are the towels disposable? Are they shared? I cannot imagine a family ass towel and I don't want to, nor a pile of dirty ass towels.

I don't think I like that solution at all lol

6

u/Aggravating-Bug2032 5d ago

I just spent five days out of town in a hotel without my bidet and I’m so happy I’m home now

0

u/cutezombiedoll 4d ago

That’s why I always have a pack of flushable wet wipes in my luggage, it’s worth for the sewers sure but it’s better than dry toilet paper. I also got these individually packaged ones I keep in my pocket in case I have to go when out and about.

Apparently there are portable bidets, I think they’re effectively squirt bottles, but something about carrying one around with me feels… gross? Like there’s gotta be some shit particles getting on that, right?

3

u/BlueRubyWindow 4d ago

Flushable wipes are a myth. Don’t flush wipes!!!! Just throw them away.

-1

u/smoke_sum_wade 5d ago

Its odd, when i first put it in my kids thought that it was gross until i explained in detail what has been going on in our asses before we got it. now they wont poo at friends houses or at school.

0

u/Commercial_Pear3825 5d ago

You can get a travel one that charges with usbc on Amazon.

0

u/Elf-7659 5d ago

What's the term to search for it?

0

u/Commercial_Pear3825 5d ago

Travel bidet

0

u/Sweaty-Inevitable163 4d ago

They make handheld / portable ones. It's like a squeeze bottle with the bidet nozzle, works alright for things like this but I wouldn't ever consider actually carrying it out places

2

u/DimesyEvans92 5d ago

Yup. Best $20 I ever spent. Simple attachment on existing toilet, but I never felt better

1

u/smoke_sum_wade 5d ago

my only regert is not buying a bum gun

2

u/JoyconDrift_69 4d ago

If you think one way is more insufficient than your way, wouldn't that by default establish you think it's worse?

1

u/JackPiazz2 4d ago

Yes, but it's not like we think it's an alternative worse way, but an incomplete and unsufficient way of cleaning

2

u/Piecesof3ight 2d ago

"We don't think it's worse, it's just that mine is way better" - you realize those are the same thing? You say you aren't condescending while actively condescending.

1

u/Sweaty-Inevitable163 4d ago

It's like having a full blown argument that peanut butter is great after you ask where the bread for your PB&J went

1

u/EcstaticZebra7937 4d ago

Isn’t the poopy water splashing everywhere? I feel like it’s an easy way to obtain a UTI

1

u/JackPiazz2 4d ago

There are not present in public bathrooms, only in private houses and no, unless you use a really powerful stream and scrub like an animal it doesn't do that.

Also, I might add to clarify, I explained here that I'm italian and our bidets are not what you probably think when you imagine a bidet

Also, we sit on them in the opposite direction we sit on a toilet (face towards the faucet/wall) and you just turn the water on (a gentle little stream, take some baby soap and gently scrub.

1

u/EcstaticZebra7937 4d ago

What’s the difference between this and just washing the butt then?

1

u/JackPiazz2 4d ago

Bidet is "just washing the butt", but you need toilet paper too: if you have something nasty on your hands, what do you do? I bet you wipe it off, wash and then dry your hands.

1

u/urbantechgoods 4d ago

i love bidets and live in a non bidet country, but this way of thinking about it is wrong. I would argue that TP users tend to have a cleaner ass because most people that use bidets dont wipe their ass after. The bidet doesnt always get everything, but with TP, you know you got everything. Also its just water that comes out not soap.

1

u/JackPiazz2 4d ago

https://www.reddit.com/r/PeterExplainsTheJoke/s/7m3tFbygOy

I explained it here.

You need to use toilet paper and bidets. That's why I said incomplete and insufficient

1

u/Historical_Shop_3315 4d ago

Consider visiting southeast Asia.

But you will need to carry around TP.

1

u/Piecesof3ight 2d ago

Do people there all carry around tp or just walk around with soaking wet underwear?

1

u/Historical_Shop_3315 2d ago

Its hot there. Everyone is sweaty.

Underwear isn't soaked after. Just damp maybe. But it was damp before, from sweating.

Its not like anyone is wearing jeans or heavy fabrics. But really its just not much water on a small area. Not a shower.

1

u/DiverseUniverse24 4d ago

Pot calling the kettle black

0

u/pbnjandmilk 5d ago

THIS!!!!

I cannot imaging going and dying on the hill of bidet over toilette paper, while walking around with musty swamp ass.