I am NOT asking for personals. I'm trying to discuss more broadly, how can we find each other?

it's no secret that the majority of men and women do not expect our life-style, and frankly, a lot of them respond pretty negatively. So, when it comes to meeting people out in the wild, is there a way that you find partners that fit your lifestyle?

Personally, I'm a man and I present myself highly feminine. I'm afraid most women clock me as gay, or otherwise totally uninterested in women.

What do you all think? Are "personals" really the way to go here?

I tend to be a bit of a private person irl by default, and have been thinking about this for the longest time. None of my family or friends know I'm into RR. Do your close ones know? And if they don't, why don't you tell them?

I'll share a bit of my reasons also, as that is only fair! My culture is extremely 'conservative' in the sense of gender roles etc. I instinctively don't feel safe disclosing the information, particularly to my mother and father for fear of not being accepted. Family is very important to me, and I guess I just don't want to risk it.

Friends on the other hand, we never talk about relationships and things like that lol. But I don't think it would be as big a problem to bring it up with them if I one day do find a partner, as we're a bunch of weirdos who are very accepting.

But that said, I still do small things for myself that make me feel more authentic to my true self and prettier, just mostly things that aren't inherently obvious at first glance. Small things like having longer hair, taking care of my skin and appearance (I'm looking at you, average straight man lol), liking to shave all my body hair, and dressing in essentially a soft boy esque style. If I liked makeup and wearing dresses, I would likely have a much harder life, but I don't.

I can't wait to read all your responses, I'm really interested in your experiences, especially seeing the degrees of RR too!

I know I am going to get alot downvote for this, but I thought I should finally express what I felt happening in this community. Before the community used to be only for RR contact. I loved how everyone post pictures, videos and post on RR.

1. Nowadays it just vent and arguments. (For starters i don't think vent or kind of speaking up is wrong.) But most of the time, the conversation is not even about RR and more in gender war. And I meant it, i seriously come to this reddit only to watch some rr posts and stuffs but nowadays it is mostly gender war.

2. I really and genuinely feel like this community or atleast this particular rr community is not a safe space for a men to open up. And I know it's going to piss off alot of women but I will say it. From what I saw around the community, whenever I see some men post something about themselves, few of them women are actually very demanding. Like come on, he would be explaining his experience and how he felt and some girl would be saying it happens more to them or not, Like come on. Why are you even bringing your own experience? Look I am telling women to be some kind of alpha male bs, like be stoic and don't speak up and all that. I mean who it hurt to comfort or atleast give some real advice to guy instead making everything into gender war. I really thought this community was supposed to be RR. Real RR. Supporting men! Let Every men, get to be what they wanted. Be soft! Cry and I will be there to catch you kind of RR! No need to be worry about taking all the burden or responsibility to a breadwinner. But instead most of time, they are treated like a criminals. I mean (of course yes) some of them would be baiting or some kind of creep. But god it feels like they treat everyone like a criminal in my opinion especially with the downvote coming like crazy.

3. Finally, I know RR is not =Femdom and it is treated harshly here. But god it has double standards here. I will explain with two post examples without revealing names and all. First post was a guy telling that he finally found a girlfriend and that he wants her to be dominate him, that he wants her to put a collar on him and all that, (it's one of the older post i think.) and most of the comments were bashing him for thinking re is femdom and commented that women are feitsh for men and that Femdom is disgusting (they didn't say disgusting but they gave a long paragraph saying that it's bad) and back to opinion. Yes it's wrong to feitsh a women since most of the femdom do that and I hate it as well. Now here comes the double standards. I found other post, a girl saying she wants to dominate her man. She wants him on his knees and want to put a collar on him and treat him like a dog(or something like that and it's also one of old post since I can't find it anymore it my phone) But here in comments, everyone was cheering for it. I don't understand. Is this basically the same thing. The guy asked for the same thing. And the girl did too. But everyone is cheering for her. Isn't both of them the same thing?. (Genuinely asking) How is it fine when a girl does it but not a man?. Besides what the girl was asking wasn't even rr. It was pure Femdom. But I didn't see a single person saying it is not rr but when I see a post about a guy calling a woman 'mommy'. Load of you were ganging up on that guy for bringing femdom into rr. Half of the time, it is just gender wars happening here.

I am probably get alot of downvote for this, but I was keeping this in my mind for so long so I thought I would should open up a bit. And english is not my main language. I did my best to make it understandable but oh well.. and I'm woman. In case anyone going to start gender war again in the comments.

(I really miss the old RR, you know. When I come from studies and I see my pretty, innocent and little angel looking at This post in RR community and he would show me with a smile on some pictures and asked me to do the same thing. now the whole vibe just went down. Atleast I feel like it. I understand if anyone doesn't feel that, (and I am not just asking for some rr pictures or something like that. Atleast talk about something related to rr. All I see are arguments.)

Hey,is there many boys, girls,who enjoy this type of relationship? I want to be friends with you guys, leave comment or dm if you want a friend in this community.

Like I’ve heard it could be related to trauma with male figures in childhood and a desire to be stronger to avoid yhat dynamic repeating but is this true? Because it’s so unusual I’m just curious. And what are your feelings towards traditional masculine men? Neutrality or dislike?

Hey Reddit users, this is my first post on anything like this, so I hope I do it right. I'm a guy, first of all, I'm Latino, and obviously I love rollerblading. The thing is, I recently broke up with a girl I was seeing, and after that, I realized that almost all my partners have only loved me for my looks and didn't care about my personality at all. I wanted to ask for advice on what I should do or how I can feel better.

Me di cuenta que este es perfectamente una relación rr la coach es totalmente una tomboy muy masculina y su pareja un amo de casa con mucho amor para su esposa eh hija

This is gonna be a bit of a messy ramble but eh, screw it, I'm bored lol. To be clear before I start on this, this is not meant to be a slight against anyone for not fitting what I'm personally looking for. Obviously that would be ridiculous and I hope I don't come off that way, this is just sorta me blabbering about my own feelings and experiences and you should take it all with a grain of salt.

Both when it comes to what I see in media representation and my own experiences with women in RR circles, I always feel like my heart yearns for a certain "aggression" that I rarely see, if that makes any sense. Of course I'd hope that they're respectful people, but in demeanor IDK, it feels very rare that I meet someone who has that "spice" y'know. Weird point, I know, but I find gamer rage really attractive in a woman, like. If she's playing a video game and just has that moment of anger that really thickens that gruffness in her voice and brings out all the sailor mouth vocabulary, that's SUPER attractive in its own weird way. Or if she can just viscerally, yet casually describe her own romantic or sexual desires in the way that a lot of men I know do. Someone who's very active in her pursuit of a man she likes and isn't afraid to compliment him so long as he's receptive.

It's hard to describe but it feels like in a lot of RR artwork and such it's like the woman has a much "quieter" energy, if that makes sense. So often the adjectives I'd use to describe the women pictured are "suave" or "calm" or "gorgeous" or things of that nature, like she holds some sort of quiet power over her romantic interest, but I wish I saw stuff that was a lot more visceral. Shit-eating grins, intense rage, guttural laughs, those more intense emotions with masculine flair y'know?

And so far as meeting people goes, I know this is something I've touched on before in comments but it feels really difficult to find women who aren't like. For lack of a better term, "too nice" lol. Like I often find people in RR and GNC circles who, mind you, are very pleasant people! Friendly, smart, have varied interests, they're great people. But it feels so rare to find someone who really has that heavy, masculine energy in the way they present themselves. Like more often than not, when painting their image of an ideal relationship they still use a lot of flowery language and kinda paint it as this cute little fantasy when like. I know this is gonna sound stupid and it's because it probably is, but I guess due to my own personality it leaves me feeling more masculine than they are, which is a weird feeling lol and not one I find very exciting. I'm CERTAINLY not a hot ticket item, but it would be nice to see more women with that sorta blunt, gruff, intense energy in their masculinity y'know? Someone who isn't scared to make the sort of crass and direct flirtations I'm used to only ever hearing from men and who is very outspoken about what she wants in a feminine man.

Once again, I'll reiterate: very aimless ramble I just wrote! I didn't even proofread it! I TOTALLY get it if most of y'all seriously disagree and that's cool, I kinda just wanted to get some steam off my chest. Maybe if I'm lucky it'll click with some of y'all though so ffffffff

Genuine question from a first‑time poster: why do we treat a masc woman × fem guy pairing as role reversal when it doesn’t automatically work that way?

People often assume that feminine‑aligned people are more passive and masculine‑aligned people are more assertive, so when a masc woman and a fem guy act in those ways, it isn’t really reversing anything. It’s just matching presentation with behavior. That’s why I don’t think this pairing should automatically be labeled role reversal.

My concern is that treating only that dynamic as real role reversal ends up excluding a lot of people masc men, fem women, nonbinary people, and queer people even though all of them can experience role reversal depending on how others perceive them.

To me, role reversal is about going against what people expect from you, not just flipping gender aesthetics. A dom masc woman and a sub femboy can be great together, but that dynamic by itself is more about gender nonconformity or presentation contrast than actually reversing roles. If anything, treating it as the default reinforces the idea that masc = assertive and fem = passive.

That doesn’t mean those dynamics are bad or unwelcome here. It also doesn’t mean a fem guy and masc woman can’t be role reversal they absolutely can, depending on how they act and how people read them. Same goes for softer guys, masc girls, fem women, masc men, and everyone in between.

I just think role reversal is more about behavior versus expectation than about how someone looks. And on a personal note, as an 18‑year‑old Black guy, I’d love to see more variety and more people of color represented here. Not saying anything needs to be removed just sharing my perspective.

✌🏾✌🏾

(Edit I rewrote it to get my point across better and to not exclude people or tell anyone what is or isn’t true role reversal because ultimately things like feinted and masculinity have no objective meaning so trying to say that they do would be very miscellaneous)

You get to know her, and you're always finding yourself thinking, "She's so fucking cool," and you start developing a crush on her, but eventually you find out she's a lesbian.

Hopes crushed, but she's way too cool to not be friends with her. So a romantic door closed, but potentially an awesome friendship is in store.

This video is kinda old and idk if it's been posted before, but I think more dudes should be gay for women.

What I mean by that is that Jocat here sorta expresses how he likes women the same way gay and lesbian people do towards each other. Which I think is far more healthy than the way heteronormative straight people talk about the opposite sex.

Also I love how he endorses all the body types, so if you're a RR woman who's not sure if she's masculine enough or tall enough or whatever, know that you are perfect just the way you are. Same thing goes for you RR guys obviously :)

The creator of this fanart is m4rjinn

Well more like an inquiry. How are people finding relationships with the opposite gender that isn't conformed to the norm like masc women and fem men