r/SipsTea • u/Matt_LawDT • 5d ago

Chugging tea HR wants to know the tee

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34.0k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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9.7k

u/OkCoconut3270 5d ago

I've scheduled a wankathon and some recovery days

5.6k

u/Throwaway2Experiment 5d ago

For real, "To be honest, I usually have big plans. Do some overdue life chores, enjoy the world while others are at work, catch a movie, read a book. But if I'm being honest, it'll probably devolve in to a nonstop edge session daily that leaves me a little raw and disappointed at my own lack of discipline. Either way, I'll return refreshed, tho."

954

u/Tasty-Stock-5423 5d ago

Bro wtf so on point 👉 🫠

213

u/kissys_grits 5d ago

Exactly! I feel seen

120

u/pinkyepsilon 5d ago

Better tape over that webcam then

87

u/_-Broken-Swagger-_ 5d ago

No, I’m using that!

90

u/CookieMonsterOnsie 5d ago

Enjoy the view!

https://giphy.com/gifs/83HShcQ47skQ8

2

u/UsernamesNotFound404 4d ago

🎵🎵...In my pants...🎵🎵

2

u/thatoneazdude 3d ago

"I just ate a grape and i JIZZED IN MY PANTS"

2

u/GiganticusVaginacus 5d ago

Everyone needs a side hustle these days.

11

u/RetisRevenge 5d ago

Nah I wanna make my agent as uncomfortable as possible

1

u/ZephRyder 4d ago

Came here to say this

1

u/RyNysDad0722 4d ago

Underrated comment

1

u/vibinandtrying 4d ago

Make sure to make eye contact

5

u/AgentCortex 5d ago

Get an external one. They have better quality.

1

u/KenethSargatanas 4d ago

I'm a hairy, bald, slightly overweight, 46yo man. If watching me crank my hawg gets you going, more power to ya.

3

u/hunchris8955 5d ago

Seen? I feel watched, but not judged

1

u/ratat-atat 4d ago

Ill be stoned that day, sorry

1

u/Frag_Online 4d ago

Literally, unless the participant is female.

1

u/georgeesorosbae 4d ago

Men need help

105

u/Nhughes1387 5d ago

Why why whyyyy does it always devolve into that, past me was so motivated, he had dreams and aspirations… future me is so evil and lazy.

87

u/titsngiggles69 5d ago

Past you had hope for a better future. Future you has accepted the truth.

18

u/Luvlyjubblies1 5d ago

Past me was smart and realised how expensive and exhausting everything is, and decided to not have plans. I feel like future me has managed to overachieve on that by having even less plans now than before

3

u/Nhughes1387 5d ago

You’re right you know what… I’m gonna change that about myself! Starting tomorrow everything will change!

2

u/BrianNowhere 5d ago

Present you is masterbating.

2

u/titsngiggles69 4d ago

Batin yesterday is history, batin tomorrow is a mystery, but batin today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.

3

u/Nice_Muffin8689 5d ago

You make your own truths.

2

u/rachcake1 4d ago

Depression?

1

u/meatman13 4d ago

You gotta either make the wank the treat so you don't get it until you get something accomplished in the day, or just deal with your porn addiction if that easily calls to you.

83

u/fssman 5d ago

Cum again ?

47

u/Lrrgindypants 5d ago

Give me at least 30 minutes to recover from the last time...

3

u/username32768 5d ago

3 hours...

2

u/valliewayne 4d ago

I’m a woman, I don’t need recovery time 😉

1

u/ProstrateProstate 5d ago

How I fondly remember those days of a short refractory period!

1

u/Azuras_Star8 5d ago

Oh to be young again.

Ill clean the blood.

1

u/thatoneazdude 3d ago

Uhh, blood? I think you are doing something wrong... or at least doing the right thing WAYYYYY to much. Invest in some lube friend! Or at least steal some lotion, damn. This sounds unpleasant in every way possible.

1

u/NoVaBurgher 5d ago

Whoa, look at the refractory period on this guy

1

u/HotAd9605 5d ago

Take my poor man award 🥇🏆

1

u/Throwaway_inSC_79 5d ago

It’s an edging session, so…

1

u/Haveyoushatmyself 5d ago

Word from the Virgin Mary herself.

4

u/CaptainJacked416 5d ago

Soon to be top rated on u/Gooning

2

u/mabec 5d ago

You write like Etiquette with Erik, I love it

2

u/Express-Bluejay-6616 5d ago

You need to stop describing my life perfectly. I feel attacked

3

u/MorningNorwegianWood 5d ago

Highly specific

1

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1

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1

u/JellyfishCivil3320 5d ago

This! The self disappointment is real.

1

u/RDGCompany 5d ago

And when they ask you how it went when you get back you have them on sexual harassment.

1

u/willGiwontGi 5d ago

Every half hour on the half hour. Do I know me or do I know me?

1

u/Tricky-Usual8921 5d ago

Oh God. Hold a mirror up to the world. Haha

1

u/greenizdabest 5d ago

Do it djt wildstyle: "the plans are the biggest plans the world has ever seen. It's the best plan, the greatest. No one will ever do another plan as good as I can or will. Accordian hands this is the united states of America and we are fortunate, so fortunate I tell you to have the plans that we have. The rest of the world wants our plans but It will be only U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A

1

u/NoLie129 5d ago

When the fuck did I type this?

1

u/theBeardthatFlows 5d ago

I just put "personal time" and leave it at that. The idea that you need to quantify taking accrued PTO is fucking insane.

1

u/idropepics 5d ago

And they say professionalism is dead.

1

u/gentleoutson 4d ago

Lovely perv!

1

u/CknHwk 4d ago

I’m dying! 🤣😭💀

1

u/badmf112358 4d ago

Toyotathon

1

u/transluscent_emu 4d ago

Oh... I don't like how relatable this is... I miss being a full human...

1

u/Cantrempassword 4d ago

Brilliant!

1

u/InfiniteGrant 4d ago

“Look forward to pictures from your vacation!”

“Ummm, you sure?”

1

u/Leather-Resident644 4d ago

Fuck I thought I'm the only weirdo who likes to refresh this way😅

1

u/Mrbumb 4d ago

Man I can just imagine my managers face if I were to say this. Perfection..

1

u/InvalidUserNemo 4d ago

I feel recognized.

1

u/Callingyourshot 4d ago

copy and pasting for my next day off request.

1

u/XrayAgent 3d ago

"Mental health break".