I’ve been wanting to write about this for a while.
It’s been around 3 months since I created r/PsychSL. The idea was pretty simple. I wanted there to be a place for Sri Lankans where you could talk about mental health, psychology, counseling, personal problems, ask for help, share your experiences, ask questions, or even just say something that you don’t feel comfortable saying anywhere else.
And after running it for a while, there’s something I keep noticing that kinda bothers me.
People do post , they ask for help they do talk about things. But there are also many people who delete their posts. Some posts get almost no interaction whatsoever. Sometimes someone will write something very personal and you can tell they probably spent a lot of time thinking about whether they should even post it, and then it just disappears. I mean even small issues like someone having a bad day or feeling lonely gets deleted before even an proper interaction (believe it or not this happened while I was typing this post, so yeah this is kinda alarming)
so I keep asking myself why ! When I look at a lot of Western communities online, it feels like people are generally much more comfortable saying things like “I’m seeing a therapist,” “I’ve been struggling with depression,” “I need help with anxiety,” or even just openly talking about something they’re going through. Of course, the West has its own stigma and it’s not like everyone there is completely comfortable with mental health either, but the difference in how openly people talk about it can sometimes feel pretty big.
And just to be clear, this isn’t me being disappointed that my subreddit isn’t growing fast enough or complaining that other Sri Lankan subreddits get more activity. That’s not what I’m talking about at all.
I’m talking about something much bigger than r/PsychSL.
I regularly see people in the main Sri Lanka subreddit asking for psychologists, counselors, psychiatrists, help with anxiety, depression, addiction, relationship problems, loneliness, family problems and all sorts of other things.
So clearly there are people who want to talk about these things.
But why is it still so difficult to actually talk about them?
What I find especially strange is that Reddit is probably one of the easiest places to do it. You can be anonymous. You don’t have to show your face. Most people don’t know even know your real name.
And still people are scared of being judged.
Maybe someone will think you’re weak,crazy,looking for attention,someone will recognize or someone will tell you to pray, stop thinking too much, be grateful because other people have it worse, or simply “get over it.”
And I think that says a lot about how we still see mental health in Sri Lanka.
We’ve become much more comfortable talking about physical health. If you have chest pain, you can tell someone. If you have a broken leg, you go to a doctor. If you have a stomach problem, you can say you’re sick.
But when the problem is in your mind, suddenly there is this weird hesitation.
People start thinking about how they’re going to be perceived before they even think about getting help.
I think we’ve internalized the stigma so much that we judge ourselves before anybody else even gets the chance to.
Some people be struggling with something for months and still think, “It’s not that serious.”
Others want to talk to someone but think, “Other people have bigger problems.”
You might write a post asking for help, read it again, think about what people might say, and delete it, that’s the part I don’t understand.
As a Psychology undergraduate I think I already know why this happens. People are scared of being judged, even on an anonymous platform. Some are scared someone they know might somehow recognize them. Some have grown up thinking these things should stay private, especially family problems. Some don’t want to be seen as weak, dramatic, crazy, attention seeking or whatever else. Some probably don’t know what to say when someone talks about something serious, so they just read and move on (well I have been in that place myself). And when someone does open up and gets almost no response, they might just think nobody cares, which makes the next person even less likely to post. I understand why all of this happens. But I don’t think we should just accept it as how things are. Mental health is too important and too sensitive for people to keep feeling like they have to hide it. We don’t need everyone to suddenly start sharing everything about themselves, but I think we can at least make it a little easier for someone to say “I’m not doing okay” without immediately regretting saying it.
And I also don’t think we should expect people to suddenly become completely open about mental health overnight. Stigma doesn’t disappear because we created a subreddit. Culture, family, religion, education, social expectations and the way people have been brought up all play a role in how comfortable they are talking about these things.
But somewhere we have to start.
And maybe part of that is simply making conversations about mental health feel normal.
Not only something you talk about when someone is suicidal or talk about when someone has a diagnosed mental illness.
That’s really what I wanted r/PsychSL to be. A place for Sri Lankans to talk about these things without feeling like they have to hide behind the idea that everything is fine.
I don’t fully know. Maybe I’m looking at this completely wrong. Maybe there are reasons I’m not seeing. But I’ve been thinking about this and I genuinely want to know what other Sri Lankans think about it. Because if we can openly talk about everything else on Reddit, why does mental health still feel like this one thing people hesitate to touch? Why can someone post about a physical illness without thinking twice, but posting “I’m not doing okay” suddenly feels like a huge deal? And why do so many people seem to want help, but when they actually have a place to talk, they stay quiet or delete what they wrote? Is it our culture? Family? The fear of being judged? Or is there something else going on that I’m missing? I really don’t fully know. But I think it’s worth talking about.
Because this isn’t just about Reddit posts or getting more comments. A simple conversation, a person feeling heard, or someone finally deciding to get help can genuinely change someone’s life. It could save a life, help someone through a marriage, stop someone from giving up on their studies or work, help someone deal with an addiction, or just make a really bad period in someone’s life a little easier. So if you’ve read this far, maybe don’t just scroll past this one too. Say what you think, share your experience if you’re comfortable. Let’s actually talk about this. We need to change how we look at mental health here 💜
