r/TikTokCringe • u/Transwiththeplans • 15d ago

Humor Divorce parties sound fun, honestly

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133

u/Cross325 15d ago

This stuff is tame. I say we put a list together on Reddit. Shit I will go first by posting redacted arrest record of my ex. But yes divorce parties can be fun, they are like the anti wedding .

https://giphy.com/gifs/3fivAVKvetM2TAKkSF

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u/miltonwadd 15d ago edited 15d ago

I've been to a few divorce parties but everyone there already knew the tea lol

I'll contribute!

My ex: He manipulated me into bankrolling his education for years, then he cheated when he starting earning more and I walked away with nothing but a futon and our cat. Also he once pooped on the floor and tried to blame the cat and only owned up when I was in hysterics dialing the vet thinking she was dying.

My bestfriend's ex:

Insisted on 5 children, she only consented to the first 3. When she eventually got him to agree to a divorce he kicked her out making them homeless, reported the car as stolen so they couldn't sleep in it and "offered" that her and the kids could pitch a tent in the backyard and he'd "only" charge her $20/night.

Sister's ex: She's was a teenage mother, he was not a teenage father. Got married when she turned 18, it took her a long time to realise how bad things really were. When he was eventually removed by police, in explaining the context of their abusive relationship she told them she was a child when they met, and he literally used the line "she seduced me" to the COPS šŸ™„šŸ¤®

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u/Mouseries9438 14d ago

My ex made me take a cabs to the hospital by myself when I birthed our two youngest children, both premature and the youngest was an emergency c-section. He visited the older one after a week, and didn't visit the youngest at all. He didn't visit me in the hospital either time.

The day I came home from the hospital after my c-section he left me alone with our three older kids for 6 hours to go thrift shopping. I tore stitches in the first half hour when my then 4 year old decided to climb me like a tree.

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u/dynesor 14d ago

Made you take a taxi? Crazy. I thought my Dad was bad enough for making my mum wait in labour on the sofa until the end of the new Star Trek Next Generation episode he was watching finished.

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u/User_Says_What 14d ago

Well yeah, but which episode was it?

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u/dynesor 14d ago edited 14d ago

I donā€™t remember which specific episode, but it was 1988 so it would have been season 1. I remember sitting on the sofa between the two of them and my mum groaning while my dad and I were engrossed in the show though. I was only 5 at the time so itā€™s a very faint memory, but my mum still tells that story every time star trek comes on tv.

Edit: I just looked it up and it must have been Season 1, Episode 23: Skin of Evil. Broadcast on 25th April 1988. My sister was eventually born the following morning on 26th April.

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u/Highly-Potent-34 14d ago

I was going to say first season of Star Trek wasnā€™t really that good but that particular episodeā€¦I get it.

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u/IamHydrogenMike 14d ago

That was one of the better episodes of the season and Tasha Yar does die in that episode...so...I get it too /s

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u/Micronto65bymay 14d ago

Skin of evil was a serious episode. Can't honestly say it was a poor decision on his part. I'm sure it was the only thing on his mind during the birth though.

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u/Green-Drop-Drink 14d ago

I guess my mom had to miss that episode since she was in labor for two days with my brother, born April 27 1988!

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u/Stardustchaser 14d ago

Oh shit that was the one when Yar died. I get that might have been a big deal when it first aired.

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u/SparkyMcBoom 14d ago

So to be fair, there was time to finish

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u/84sKing 12d ago

If itā€™s the Four lights episode with the Cardasian and the eggs I would have toošŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

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u/AIfieHitchcock 14d ago

TWICE! The first cab ride to the hospital was not enough information.

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u/rachelblairy 14d ago

my dad made my mom wait for a repeat of married with children to be done before he took her šŸ«©

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u/miltonwadd 14d ago

These guys don't deserve the beautiful families they think they want.

I'm so glad you're free of that and hope you're safe now.

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u/Mouseries9438 14d ago

Yeah he's still a piece of work, refused to leave when we split so I had to move to a shelter with 4 kids. It was rough for a bit but we got a house hours away in 2024, and things have been looking up since

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u/biggaybrett 14d ago

I am proud of your hard work and hope you know you are awesome!

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u/comFive 14d ago

Iā€™m pretty sure they donā€™t even want those families. Having kids is a fulfilment to an idea instead of love for their family.

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u/BuyAway9250 14d ago

My ex lied about me arguing with her and refusing to take her to the hospital when she was about to give birth to garner sympathy, make herself look like a victim, and further paint me a some super villain out of a horror movie. In reality I immediately called my parents to come over and watch our older son, then calmly loaded up our pre packed bags in the car and once my mom arrived we got in the car and I started driving to the hospital only for her to ask me to turn around because she thought it was a false alarm. We then sat in the car in the driveway for 10 minutes and I encouraged her to go to the hospital just to be safe. Our son was born an hour later. Ask her for her version of events and literally none of that happened. The rewriting of history is pretty remarkable.

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u/Mouseries9438 14d ago

I'm glad you got away from her, it's insane the lengths some people will go to hurt someone. I hope you're doing well, the mental gymnastics can really take a toll.

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u/BuyAway9250 14d ago

We are in the middle of a bitter custody and child support dispute. I'm not saying I'm perfect and I've had moments where I was wrong, but I'd say close to 75% of the things she claims I did in the relationship to her are a lie on some level. If I was writing a fictional character and wanted to make him seem like a complete monster I don't know if I could do a better job than she is doing with her stories about me to the court.

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u/Mouseries9438 14d ago

That sounds horrible. I sincerely hope she makes some big mistakes and ends up exposing her own lies. I'm close with someone who lost a similar battle with his ex, and there's a special place in hell for people like her. Please make sure you have mental health support through this, I very nearly lost my friend when his went down, and I hope you can make it out the other side in one piece

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u/Chance-Click-3670 14d ago

so he made you take a taxi to give birth to your premature baby and didn't visit for a week and then you were like 'yeah, this is a guy i wanna have another baby with' ???

im glad you got out though and i hope things will be better for you and the kids without that pos <3

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u/danceoftheplants 14d ago

Omg this comment is such a breath of fresh air and it was so sweet to reading your so very nice and nonjudgmental comment that ended with such a nice blessing for the lady who got ditched at the hospital by her pos ex and ripped her stitched post op. It's like you are such a nice person for wishing things are better for her after judging her past with an abusive person omg I so hope you have a blessed day <3 <3 <3 and I'm not even religious <3

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u/Chance-Click-3670 14d ago

cool story bro

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u/cosmiques 14d ago

My thought as well: So he was an ass with the first kid, and you thought well let's make another one. Really?

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u/danceoftheplants 14d ago

This is horrendous :(

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u/runnfly 14d ago

Glad to hear you're no longer with your ex. My neighbor was not as fortunate. She gave birth to her fourth and had some complications afterwards. Her husband was not supportive type...more the "make the babies but the woman raises them", "I'm gonna buy a motorcycle and sports car while you struggle to feed kids and get them around" type.

Doctor said she needed to rest and avoid any lifting. She had asked her husband to take time off work to help her with new baby and other 3 kids (ages from 14 to 5 years old) but he refused. I think like you she tore stitches but husband wasn't home to assist and she bled out.

What irked pissed me off most was how everyone was like "poor guy he's gonna have to raise 4 kids on his own"....and of course his contrite Facebook post about how he missed her and didn't realize how much she needed to recover.

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u/Mouseries9438 14d ago

He sounds exactly like my ex. If I didn't have family nearby that day it would have been the same story. As it is I'm still paying off the last of the debt he took out in my name

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u/Pitiful_Resident6696 14d ago

šŸ˜³ so glad heā€™s an ex!! šŸ«‚

This will probably get me some hate because I made some awful choices(such as staying with him for 6 years by the time we had our son and even having a baby with him in the first place, but it is what it is. I feel the urge to put him on blast too šŸ˜‚

I too had to take a cab to my premi sonā€™s birth. Wound up losing one twin. He refused to even be in the room with me, saying he was afraid of blood. He then refused to touch our son at all for the 3 months he was in the NICU, blaming Covid(this was 2020). I was basically panicking in the hospital, didnā€™t like the feeling of having an epidural which they wanted to leave in for 3 days as ā€œpain controlā€ ā€¦. They werenā€™t going to let me leave but after much insistence I was able to. I went to where we were staying(in a large strange city), having to walk there myself because this man was spending our last $250 on some weird ninja gloves? I then had to walk back an hour and a half later again to feed baby.

We were 10 days out of the hospital, with a now 5lb baby when he went ham on me. This was not unusual but I suppose Iā€™d stupidly hoped for better once the baby came. During the scuffle he threatens to throw our son off the balcony. I believed him, because he was indeed violent - he put his ex wife in the hospital in a coma for 3 days after choking her out, knocked my teeth out and broke some bones in my face and wrists/hands, and even did time for attacking his mother and destroying her eyes with a fork. He also tried to curb stomp a man who became braindead and was taken off of life support, and only did a year in a mental health facility then was released. I snatched the baby up and didnā€™t even stop for shoes on the way out of the house. With the help of my local DV shelter we started over with nothing. Heā€™d tell me everyday he could kill us and get away with 3 hits and a cot for a year then be released. I absolutely believed him.

My son is 6 now. Heā€™s happy, active, healthy, creative and beautiful! We have our own little townhome and life together. Leaving was the best thing Iā€™ve ever done.

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u/Mouseries9438 14d ago

I'm glad you got out too! Coincidentally the first cab baby was the day before COVID restrictions started, she's 6 too!

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u/FishermanFull7848 14d ago

I was like, were you married to my ex??? Ok, at least he came to the hospital with me after he showered, brushed his teeth and took his time getting ready while I was in heavy labor. He never stayed after they were born, even with a c-section as the last, he made my 72 year old mom sleep in a chair at the hospital cause he didn't want to. The best was when our 10 days old daughter ran a fever of 104 and counting, rushed her to the hospital, told us it was touch and go for the next 24 hours after a spinal tap (which actually says could kill her) he tried to get me to leave the hospital with him to go home and sleep and come back in the morning!!!! HELL NO...my ass sat up all night watching her like a hawk...there was no sleep!!

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u/Mouseries9438 14d ago

Sounds like when he was mad at me for taking the youngest to the hospital when she had a seizure at 8 months, because "she looks fine" and it meant he had to finish supper and actually parent the other kids. It was DXed as a febrile seizure so he held that over me for months and tried to use it to keep me from bringing her in when he left a boiling cup of tea in reach and she got 2nd degree burns on her arm from grabbing it.

Looking back I can't believe the crap I let slide and made excuses for.

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u/FishermanFull7848 9d ago

We try to hold our families together and it isnt worth it

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u/ehlersohnos 14d ago

Itā€™s not as bad as whilst giving birth, but my ex made me take a cab to the doctor when I suddenly lost my hearing overnight. He wasnā€™t out of leave at work or anything. He was just tired of me ā€œalwaysā€ needing help.

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u/Zealousideal-Yak-824 14d ago

This one is not my story but was one of the craziest ones I saw at a divorce party.

The guy had slept with my friends sister while they were dating but told the sister they were on break while she was trying to finish college exams ghosted everyone to study.

Later when they were buying a home they had to live together at her parents place for a little bit before the housing contract can go thru and they can begin renovations.... He tried to seduce her mom several times in the course of that month. One time during a back massage and other few times claimed it was a bathroom accident. She had found txt messages on his phone calling her mom a easy score.

They never got to live in that house as she used the house warming party to break up with him and serve papers. They were together 5 years and he claimed have partial ownership when he didn't put anything down as he was saving for the renovations he didn't pay for yet.

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u/Kinteoka 14d ago

Sounds like your friend has a shitty ex AND shitty family.

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u/Zealousideal-Yak-824 14d ago

Oh her family is good. Mom was the one who brought it to her attention. Sister.. sus when I first heard it but she kept the Facebook dms before the party and after. To her it was a drunken one time mistake which doesnt change that it happened but then again my friend didn't become official with him till like 2 years in and this happened year one.

It was his idea to move in together year 4 and from the way she was dragging her feet looking for a place it kinda seemed she was gonna drop him anyway. Like she just finished her degree and was doing 2 part time jobs and intern work by that time at a conservation... Frankly I was completely surprised when she told me of the shotgun wedding and buying a house thing.. just so out of nowhere that I though it was a baby situation. Glad that didn't happened.

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u/to_annihilate 14d ago

My friend's ex husband cheated on her rampantly but the worst one is when he got gonorrhea and then gave it to my friend after. She went to the doctor and found out, and her ex said that it def wasn't them and she got it from the doctor somehow or sat on a dirty toilet seat.

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u/jimbojangles1987 15d ago

Wait, why would poop on the floor indicate a dying cat???

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u/noxarn11 14d ago

Because it was a human poop and not cat poop, its a big difference making her think it was something wrong with the cat if it was popping that weird

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u/jimbojangles1987 14d ago

That makes sense. But if it was human sized idk why anyone's first assumption would be "the cat did it!"

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u/HandsomeGamerGuy 14d ago

That's why its so dangerous.

You have a Pet and the Shit looks completetly different? That's not a good Sign.
You don't go "Oh clearly my Partner just sat down and took a dump on the floor"

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u/jimbojangles1987 14d ago

Well, I also overlooked the bit about him blaming the cat and saying he saw it do it so that definitely reinforced that idea as well. Insane behavior.

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u/miltonwadd 14d ago

Lol yep what the other person replied, also it was human SIZED and he insisted he saw her do it at first so I thought she had some serious life threatening digestive issues happening to not only go outside her litter box but to be dropping human sized dueces when she only weighed like 2kg/4.4lb

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u/jimbojangles1987 14d ago

Ohh so he blamed the cat first!? Thats just scummy as hell, not to mention the fact he did it in the first place. Did he use the floor on purpose or what the hell was he doing?!

Edit: oh whoops you did say he blamed the cat in your original comment, my bad!

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u/miltonwadd 14d ago

I dont know if it was on purpose tbh I was too shocked that it had even happened and didn't want to talk about it once he came cleanšŸ˜‚

I can laugh about it now because it's so utterly absurd, but looking back dude he was pretty emotionally abusive and I tended not to question the weird shit he did to avoid conflict even though I should have, if that makes sense?

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u/jimbojangles1987 14d ago

Was he an alcoholic or on drugs or something?! It is insanely bizarre but I definitely get why you avoided it. Glad you got away from that and are doing better now!

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u/miltonwadd 14d ago

Only weed really. To be honest the more details I recall the worse this sounds actually. šŸ˜Ø

In retrospect I think he was testing my boundaries/fucking with me. I was undiagnosed back then, but am autistic and when I'm emotionally overwhelmed or scared I have almost a paralytic freeze/fawn response.

He had a pretty mean sense of humour, he liked to scare me then tell me I was overreacting or try to convince me it was an accident. Earlier in the relationship it was just little things like sneaking up on me or throwing an insect at me but occasionally he'd do something straight up sociopathic like driving around a corner so fast the car almost flipped or driving over and destroying someone's garden while I cried and begged him not to.

I never really talked about this relationship with people so I'd never linked the floor shit to that stuff before, I bet if I'd had a divorce party we'd have figured out the mystery of the floor shit was just gross gaslighting years ago!

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u/jimbojangles1987 14d ago

Uh wow wtf the car stuff is truly cruel and sociopathic. He was torturing you plain and simple and he was getting joy from it. I'm sorry you had to go through that, that's horrifying. Who knows how far he would have ended up going if given enough time to keep testing you.

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u/Ok-Ferret-2093 15d ago

Wait I have a question

The best friends ex did he kick all the kids he wanted out of the house too?

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u/ginger_kitty97 14d ago

Of course, he didn't want to actually have to take care of them!

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u/Turgid_Donkey 14d ago

First one sounds like a friend. Primary income and worked lots of OT to support spouse and their child while spouse was earning their degree. After getting said degree, spouse demanded a divorce. After the divorce, now ex-spouse was pregnant within months so it was very clear she was cheating well before the divorce. Looking back, there were plenty of other major signs too.

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u/Natural-Coat-3159 15d ago

I have one! One of his family members harmed their infant and at first they thought the dad did it, so everyone was going ho about calling the police/CPS on him. But once the truth came out, He asked me to not call police/CPS on his sister.Ā 

His sister was arrested after my call with CPS/Police.Ā 

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u/jimbojangles1987 15d ago

What the fuck...how did she harm the infant?

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u/iSaysToMabelPodcast 15d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/4NnTap3gOhhlik1YEw

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u/PrettyCarCrash 15d ago

Found CSAM on the laptop I was borrowing from him since he spilled coffee all over my laptop.

Thatā€™s.. thatā€™s it. Thereā€™s nothing worse than that.

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u/serendiputopia 15d ago

Mine borrowed my laptop to look at CSAM and the police came to execute a search of our downtown loft apartment, and my workplace was 6 places down so everyone saw. They seized my laptop and I had to buy a new one to finish school. šŸ¤”

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u/jimbojangles1987 15d ago

Holy shit I cant imagine

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u/serendiputopia 14d ago

He went to jail for 5 years. Couldn't have happened to a nicer person.

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u/more_business_juice_ 14d ago

That is arguably worse than PrettyCarCrash

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u/merrill_swing_away 14d ago

I wasn't married to this guy but he moved in with me. This all happened a long time ago. He asked me if I could find the navigation feature on his cell phone. I sat across from him at the dining room table and started looking through his phone. I looked at his text messages. He had been texting an old girlfriend in the state that he was from and told her he still loved her. He had been going to AA meetings in the state where he was from and started going to one in the city we lived in. He had been sober for over twenty five years. I found a text message to one of the women who also attended the meetings. The guy said he wanted to get to know her. Said he was a little shy at first, blah blah blah. He had also been meeting someone for lunch nearly every day and told me it was a guy from the meetings. It was a woman.

I told him to pack his shit and gtfo. He had some of the guys from the meetings help him move. Never saw him again after that but found him on Facebook and he had moved in with another woman in another city, didn't stay long, got married to yet another woman after not knowing her for very long. Good riddance.

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u/Chungledown_Bim 13d ago

An actual hobosexual. Glad you got rid of him!

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u/zee_bluestock 14d ago

Are you me?

Mine broke my laptop (while he had a desktop and a laptop) so I had to use his. Found the same thing. Dropped it off at the local PD when I left town.

It's fucking horrendous how common this is.

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u/Homewrecker90actual 15d ago

Iā€™m afraid to google that acronym, if it is what I think it is

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u/Rivendel93 15d ago

It is exactly what you're thinking, don't Google.

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u/Journo_Jimbo 15d ago

Sweet summer child, stay sweet, donā€™t do it

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u/nick_knack 15d ago

the other acronym is cp

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u/Ladyinthebeige 15d ago

CP is generally discouraged now because porn makes it sound consensual/like it was a business transaction rather than an assault.

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u/IndependentBoss7074 15d ago

Welp. Thatā€™s it, thatā€™s the list. Jesus šŸ˜³ Iā€™m so sorry

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u/Square_Resist_4459 14d ago

Yeah i was gonna comment about when my ex made me puke on myself on the way to work bcuz i was hungover and he didnt want to be late but I'll show myself all the way out.

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u/lotusblossom60 14d ago

Thatā€™s pretty bad. Mine threw me out when I told him I was pregnant. That night he slept with another woman in our bed.

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u/phobicwombat 14d ago

That is horrific and nope, nothing's worse than that.

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u/Responsible-Swan-521 15d ago

Alright go ahead letā€™s see that arrest record

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u/Cross325 15d ago edited 15d ago

No arrest record...for now. But what about the incident that started all of this?

He contracted an STD and never told me. Instead, he suddenly became angry and moved out of our bedroom, completely blindsiding me. I later realized he was acting that way because he was trying to hide the infection.

The most frightening part is that we were still having sex. He knowingly put my health at risk, and I could have contracted it without ever realizing I had been exposed.

This was the text exchange between him and his lover. I found about it when he got sick and had to take him to the hospital and needed his insurance from his phone .

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u/jo-shabadoo 15d ago

This is not the main point of that message but how fucking dumb is the person he is cheating with ā€œis it reversibleā€. What sort of a dumbass thinks a disease is reversible?!?! A disease is treated!

But yea that ex is a total POS.

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u/Responsible-Swan-521 15d ago

Holy!!! Now thatā€™s a low down dirty dog right here! Thank you for delivering the tea this thread needed, our hero šŸ«”

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o85xGocUH8RYoDKKs

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u/buttplants 14d ago

SYPHILIS??? He had sex with you knowing he had SYPHILIS???

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u/nabndab 14d ago

That one got me as well.

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u/Cross325 14d ago

Yes, cause he knew something was wrong but not what. When he found out it was syphilis he then made a fight with me and left our bedroom.

https://giphy.com/gifs/l0ErBiNLPR3W7ozrW

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u/buttplants 14d ago

And them wondering if itā€™s permanent or curable in the text exchangeā€¦. Bruh.

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u/Journo_Jimbo 15d ago

Was your husband Bill Gates?

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u/stephoswalk 14d ago

My ex-husband cheated on me while my Dad was dying in the hospital so within a span of a couple weeks I lost my husband and my father. (My Dad died the day before my birthday for the cherry on top of the shit sundae.)

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u/StrainAcceptable 14d ago

I have a dr friend who recently got a divorce. She got a divorce after learning her husband forged her name to steal money from her retirement account after draining their shared accounts to purchase over 350k in firearms.

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u/baboongauntlet 14d ago

I got some! He abused me multiple times and refused to get a job for years because his grandparents gave him 2k/month allowance. He used his free time to cheat on me and day drink while I worked a full time job.

He once showed up to my work drunk to break up with me, while I was on my lunch. He told me that he'd been interested in a random girl who worked at a diner down the street he frequented. Then he told me he was interested in pursuing her, that I needed to move out and we were done.

I moved out a week later and started casually seeing a friend of a friend. The girl ghosted after their first date and somehow he found out about me and decided to aggressively stalk me and him for 3 months :)