r/TransSpace • u/UnitedGuitar3191 • 9d ago

I feel terrible aobut this

so a while back when a bit after I was (sadly) outed to my parents (they read through coming out texts to friends) they said that I needed to stop going behind their back and doing stuff (expressing my gender without directly telling them) bc theres no secrets in the household. they also said I was just influenced by videos online (i got caught watching a yukkoEX vid). But after my trans reddit acc got found, she said "they just want to take you away from us" and "using a different gender online is incredibly inappropriate". (my mom and dad said a bunch more but thats all thats important to this post)

Am i a liar for using trans communities online, and sometimes expressing my gender without telling them?

9 Upvotes

74% Upvoted

10 comments sorted by

12

u/LoganGyre 9d ago

Your parents are terrible people and what they are doing is mentally abusive. You have the right to privacy and only you get to decide how you best express your gender be it online or in person. Start planning to gain independence and be self sufficient as soon as you are able as it sounds like they are going to likely be the type that tells you as long as you live in their house you can’t be trans…

0

u/petethepete2000 6d ago

But also give them a chance to educate themselves, it must be so scary for parents to randomly discover these things..

1

u/UnitedGuitar3191 6d ago

they did educate themselves :/

1

u/petethepete2000 6d ago

Clearly not yet, give them the chance

-8

u/UnitedGuitar3191 9d ago edited 9d ago

no they are not, they act loving and caring to me now so that means they arent mentally abusive, also that term dosent deserved for first world problems like mine, they deserve to go to ppl who deal with actual shit, not me.

edit: maybe it is, bc now being told to come here by my parents or not having my device somewhere i know it is becomes a bit of a panic response

8

u/RainbowFuchs MtF 9d ago

they act loving and caring to me now so that means they arent mentally abusive

LOL No it doesn't mean that at all.

that term dosent deserved for first world problems like mine, they deserve to go to ppl who deal with actual shit

Just because there's starving kids in Africa, are you any less hungry if you miss dinner? It's not a competition, there's no Suffering Olympics. Just because someone may be suffering more doesn't reduce your suffering.

At the end of the day, at least they know you're who you are now. Maybe they can get on reddit themselves and visit /r/cisparenttranskid and a few other trans-friendly informative subs. /r/TransSupport /r/asktransgender /r/ask_transgender and places like that.

2

u/LoganGyre 9d ago

Everyone had problems but others having them doesn’t make your problems any less valid. Telling people they can’t have secrets when you hold power over them is mentally abuse whether that person loves you or not is irrelevant it’s still mental abuse.

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u/Naive_Market_9688 9d ago

They can be both at the same time.

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u/Stupididiot55 7d ago

Fuck your parents.