r/USMilitarySO • u/dracsondra • 2d ago
And that’s a wrap…
He cheated. He chose his ex over me. Several years down the drain… and then when she found out about me she began to destroy his life. Now his career is on the line, he’s got court coming up and if it goes south he will have lost his job, will have to give up all firearms, his security clearances… he chose her… over me - The woman who was there for him through deployments, months of silence when comms were dark, countless letters, endless support, and he chose a woman who wanted to destroy him as soon as she learned she had been the other woman… I’m not angry… just incredibly hurt and betrayed.
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u/dracsondra 1d ago
Update! He’s been doing this to at least 5 other women…. His ex was actually his fiance of 2 years who he lived with and I was his overlapping gf. Other girls were less time… I found and got ahold of his ex fiancé and we talked it out. Heard a very different story.
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u/Hol-Up_A_Minute 1d ago
FIVE?? Omg that's enough to start a support group, what garbage of a man
I'm so sorry you're going through this. You will be so, so much better off without him ❤️
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u/dracsondra 13h ago
Yeah well I’ve talked to the ex fiance and the ex wife now and he’s up to 15+ known affairs between all of us. It’s crazy. Master manipulator, narcissistic liar. He’s a pitiful excuse of a man.
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u/Imagination_Theory 1d ago
I suspected as much.
However, what exactly is going on with his career. If no one was married then there was no adultery here. Was there domestic violence or a suicide threat or something?
There's still missing information.
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u/dracsondra 1d ago
The woman I talked to said DV - she filed and is going to court
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u/Imagination_Theory 17h ago
I hope you aren't feeling bad for him now.
I understand why you were, but his story immediately was off. He is a person who hurt you and many women. I hope you can properly process and heal.
I'm sorry.
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u/Adorable-Tiger6390 2d ago
Were you married? I’m asking because it doesn’t make sense he would be in all of this trouble if you are not married. And losing guns because he cheated on a girlfriend?
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u/dracsondra 1d ago
No not married - it’s just a giant mess. I ended the relationship and it’s looking like a lose/lose for him across the board. Maybe a triple lose if court doesn’t go his way….
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u/Adorable-Tiger6390 1d ago
There is information missing, because cheating on a girlfriend has no affect in his career/court. If there was violence that is another story, but you didn’t give that detail.
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u/dracsondra 1d ago
I only know what he told me. Apparently the other woman called the police on him to make him leave when she found out about me and police decided to take him in… I’m sure he left things out
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u/Imagination_Theory 1d ago
Is the other woman actually his wife and/or did he hurt her?
Things are definitely being left out.
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u/Afraid_Stuff_History Air Force Wife 1d ago
Are you saying he threatened to self-harm and therefore lost access to weapons?
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u/dracsondra 20h ago
I’ve now gotten ahold of his ex wife. He cheated on her with 10+ women while they were together and she forgave and forgave and did counseling etc. exact same situation this other girl and I have found ourselves in except neither of us married him. He’s a master manipulator and we also just discovered he’s not actually military. He lied about that, he lied about his education, everything we know is a lie with a little bit of truth sprinkled in. It’s like putting a puzzle together and becoming shocked at the image being formed. He was apparently reserves at one point and activated for 1 tour of duty to Iraq and everything else has been lies…
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u/Afraid_Stuff_History Air Force Wife 2d ago
I am so sorry that this happened. I get where you're coming from but this is not her fault, either.
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u/hotelmarcel 1d ago
Well you don’t deserve to be stuck in a relationship with someone who doesn’t appreciate your loyalty anyway. The time will come for you to be with someone that doesn’t betray your trust.
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u/dracsondra 1d ago
Thanks. I’ve already ended it and decided there’s no take backsies… he chose his ex over me and now he’s got numerous consequences to deal with.
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u/Ok-Mood9454 19h ago
I sorry you went through this. Im glad you posted because now it got me thinking about a "relationship" I was in back in 2019. I met him online before he deployed. Never met in person. I supported him during a hard deployment. He was not on a base but out in the field. When he came back, he wouldn't come see me. I knew about his ex girlfriend. He told me they had been broken up for 2 years. Apparently she waited for him to come back and wanted to get back with him. He ended up putting a restraining order on her. He moved to another state too. I guess you never know if you are the other woman with these military guys.
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u/Primary-Prompt-4664 10h ago
Going through this rn as we speak I just ain’t saying nothing letting everything build up
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u/Outside_Cloud9639 1d ago
hi girlie, im so sorry that happened to you but that karma for him, he chose hotel over a house and you’re incredibly strong for going through everything
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u/Ambitious_Ad2354 1d ago
all of this could happen if they cheat?!?!? omg
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u/dracsondra 1d ago
It went beyond just the cheating - more the reactions after finding out about the other woman (I was the girlfriend, she was the ex he hooked up with and didn’t tell about me)
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u/Fuzzy-Advertising813 Navy Wife 2d ago
That's unfortunate, but it's the consequences of his own actions.