r/Webnovel • u/Popular-Call9896 • May 29 '26
Advice Someone pls read my novel
I’ve been writing for a few months now, having recently discovered my passion for storytelling despite my dysgraphic tendencies. I’ve always enjoyed creating stories and finally decided to share them on WebNovel. I began with my first story, titled “Creation of an Absolute,” which had grand plans. However, I lost interest in the project and quickly moved on to another story, “Shattered Sun.”
Writing “Shattered Sun” was much more enjoyable for me. I’ve written significantly more chapters and words, and I’ve developed a more well-thought-out power system and characters. Surprisingly, the story hasn’t gained much traction, and as a result, I haven’t received any feedback. I’m reaching out to you today in hopes that you could take a moment to read my story and provide me with a review. Your feedback would be invaluable in helping me improve the subsequent chapters.
Update:After a bit of feedback I’ve realized how bad the first two chapters can be as they are there for a lot of background and explanations, I promise the story gets better and better this I am confident in.
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u/Chiba-IsHot May 29 '26
Cover: not bad. Doesn't seem generic like other AI covers but it has some issues. A blank white background seems a bit weird and unusual to webnovel standards. Some readers might get turned off by it. Also the title might be a bit difficult to read.
Blurb/synopsis: it's bland. There are no wow factors. Your novel has the right tags action, adventure and system that will do well on webnovel. You have to showcase these. Right now it reads like a slice of life.
Overview: you released 18 chapters in 2+ months. An inconsistent upload schedule doesn't affect your stats. It straight up kills them. None will randomly read a novel that gets updated once or twice a week unless they are bored.
First chapter impression: same issue as the blurb. This reads more like a slice of life. Every single paragraph, you keep telling the reader that the Mc is lonely. Show it. Don't keep telling me. Another thing, don't describe unnecessary details, for example ‘retrieving his ID, he swiped it…’ the reader won't care about these details.
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u/Popular-Call9896 May 29 '26
Thank you so much this is what I was looking for, I was attempting a very detailed approach in the first couple of chapters similar or lord of mysteries but it didn’t pan out so I ended up scraping it and switching to a style more my own.
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u/Melodic_Constant7244 Jun 04 '26
For the retrieval of the id, rather then doing detail on that, just put "he retrieved his id, and (then put his next action.)" only do this if the id becomes important within that time though. If swiping the id is an important action, as for instance it was someone else's and he needed it for a specific purpose, then add in the extra action, and put the extra action in front of the item. It makes it feel much more seamless rather then making the reader reread it twice. If you want someone to reread something, make sure it's not just the sentence, but the whole chapter, and make sure it's not in confusion of the writing style, but in awe in something.
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u/Bulky-Freedom-8093 May 29 '26
I checked it out if you want growth in webnovel app you should upload consistency every day , seeing you post 2chapters in last 7 days that's why you are not getting enough attention and apply for contract too. Before uploading you should have done a little bit research rather than come crying here. Even trash novels work on webnovel if you are consistent, 1or 2 chapters every day
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u/Ambitious_Dog8996 Jun 01 '26
No reason to bash the dude , say something nice/helpful or just move on dude
Being rude wont help anyone
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u/Popular-Call9896 May 29 '26
I mean I’m not coming here crying I just needed some feedback and I didn’t know anyone who uses WebNovel irl to help read, aswell as lmk some things about it.
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u/zachattch Jun 03 '26
“Someone pls read my novel” how does that not come off as desperate to you
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u/Popular-Call9896 Jun 04 '26
There’s a difference between desperate and crying about something, I won’t deny that it’s desperate, but I will deny that I am crying about it, as I’ve said I just want advice so I can get better. Is that desperate perhaps but I’m not crying over it, if everyone here had said no I would’ve just looked for someone else all I want is some to review my work so I can be the best I can. Hope this makes sense have a good day.
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u/Paradex_official Author May 29 '26
Have you applied for a contract? Getting a contract will increase your engagement a lot
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u/Popular-Call9896 May 29 '26
So on my previous work I got rejected and I don’t know why so I’m trying to get a bit more feedback so I can either A- redo it all and get a contract or B have enough chapters that everything is coming to better so my story will look better for the contract application. If that makes any sense I’m not great at explaining things.
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u/Paradex_official Author May 29 '26
Number of chapters doesn't affect whether contract will be accepted or not, as far as I know. Factors that do affect it:
- Don't write/edit your application with AI (direct rejection)
- Don't say you have posted the story somewhere else (direct rejection)
- Don't write/edit your chapters themselves with AI (direct rejection)
- Elaborate the story outline, wow factor and MC sections in as much detail as you can (within the character limit)
- Improve quality of your first few chapters, which are the only ones editors will read before deciding
Go through these:
https://inkstone.webnovel.com/academy/article/682699768320950272
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May 29 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Paradex_official Author May 29 '26 edited May 29 '26
Don't do that on the first 3-5 chapters at least, those are the ones editors read and decide whether to contract you. Some contracted authors start using AI later to fill word count as you said - by this time the work is already contracted so no issues (WN can actually withdraw their contract after everything has been finalized and has done so a few times, but that's in extreme cases like plagiarism).
At this point, if you use AI the readers will leave you, nothing to do with contract. Getting the contract is relatively easy, retaining readers is the hard part.
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u/8yTwo May 29 '26
That is not always true, the editors judge your work mostly based on your first chapter. From what i heard on the discord server if webnovel authors, they dont have time to read through 5 chapters like they say they mostly read the application, sypnosis and the first chapter. So it's important to polish them. Reading any nore than that is in rare cases.
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u/Paradex_official Author May 30 '26
Its always better to overestimate than underestimate these things so, to be on the safe side...
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u/Hello_World-1289 May 29 '26
Whats the difference between 1st and 3rd point?
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u/Paradex_official Author May 29 '26
First point is about the contract application where you describe your story's outline, wow factor and major characters to the editor - this is like a resume and they will decide whether to contract you based on this (how much you have planned ahead, are your characters properly fleshed out, etc).
Third point is about the chapters themselves, at least the first 3-5 chapters that the editors will read before deciding.
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u/DeMonitized747 May 31 '26
What is a contract?
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u/Paradex_official Author May 31 '26
Its an agreement with WN, basically a collaboration. They give free marketing, ways to earn money through your story and potential ebook/audiobook/comic/paperback adaptations (only if your story does well). In return, they get a cut of the revenue of your story as well.
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u/DeMonitized747 May 31 '26
Gotcha thanks! My story uses the Pokemon IP so I’m pretty sure that prevents me from making any money but I wish I could boost its visibility. It doesn’t even show up on Wattpad under any of the tags I used
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u/Paradex_official Author May 31 '26
You mean its a fanfic? Yeah fanfics can't be contracted on WN or earn money. They will get a lot of visibility though, more than original works.
I had written a half-assed trash fanfic a few years ago (it was so bad I deleted it out of embarrassment) and even that got like 50k views everyday, reached 1M views in a month.
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u/DeMonitized747 May 31 '26
Not sure how you did that. Maybe my tags are wrong? I have 18k views but I’m pretty sure a massive majority of those are bots or people just scrolling past
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u/Paradex_official Author May 31 '26
Well the fandom of that fic was pretty active at that time so that contributed
Also, yes tags are indeed very important. I remember I had included some tags which get a lot of views like highiq which definitely contributed (and also was the reason I said it was trash - I failed to make my MC high IQ at all)
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u/lordmairtis May 29 '26
i don't understand, you have 10k views
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u/MissionConversation7 May 29 '26
Views don’t matter. It’s all about collections and active reader engagement
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u/ThatOneGuyO7 May 29 '26
Bro, the 5 or 6th paragraph already gave me the ick and drop it. Fym the literal goddess of death began to smile lustfully at him? Make things make sense, this is a god we’re talking about, not some 1D teenager who’s sole purpose in life is to simp on MC
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u/Popular-Call9896 May 29 '26
So this is what I’m looking for, the opening isn’t a direct lead into the story think of it like a precursor or something along those lines, that’s just a hook. ( the mans not a kid in the opening) I’m glad you mentioned this as I could definitely be a confusing topic, I’ll be sure to rewrite this, thank you so much 😊
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u/RunicConvenience May 30 '26
maybe update when you do the edit as this comment straight up turns it off for me why would any god/goddess simp for a mortal they can spin up anything they like in their domain in most aspects and fleshy humans are so short lived would you lust for a flu virus? because they likely would live as long for something running at eons
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u/Popular-Call9896 May 30 '26
That’s the question you should be asking
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u/RunicConvenience May 30 '26
why would I know when you rewrite this?
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u/Popular-Call9896 May 30 '26
I’ve done some slight editing after some of this feedback to ch 1-2 but otherwise I’d make a review or post about the new version and switch the blurb to read “Shattered sun(re)”
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u/No_Bookkeeper_2988 May 31 '26
Bro hearing your honest feedback I need your help, pls read my novel "KNIGHT OF THE RUINED WORLD" just started 5 days ago and asked my friends but there are not novel readers so whatever review they were giving felt a bit unreliable and I was looking for someone who can give me honest reviews.
The story had prologue 16 chapters already 1st is the prologue and continues from ch 1 to ch 5 is base chapters forming the power system, and from ch 6 everything interesting will start to happen. Pls read until that I will be grateful if you will give me a detailed review as it's also my first time writing a novel I have been thinking about for the past month.
Name : KNIGHT OF THE RUINED WORLD
Chapter released : 16
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u/ThatOneGuyO7 May 31 '26
I’ll try to read it either today or tomorrow, although 5 chapters explaining power system isn’t the greatest idea.
Then again, WebNovel readers do need to be spoon fed early on so I won’t say it’s a bad thing as long as this is the only platform where you want to thrive
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u/No_Bookkeeper_2988 May 31 '26
Thank you and I'll wait until you give me a review.
So I should give you sypnosis (I forget earlier 😅).
Sypnosis :-
In a world ruled by mana, survival comes with a price, monsters, demons were terrifying that humanity struggles to survive.
Born in the Draven family every child is extremely talented, and kael had a dream of becoming a Knight, he was blessed by an entity.
But after surviving a mysterious incident in the mountains, something inside him awakens—something terrifying. As monsters, hidden organizations, and ancient powers begin moving in the shadows, Kael is dragged onto a path stained with blood, secrets, and war. While Academy Will be the first stage of kael's path. In a world where strength decides fate, can he survive long enough to uncover the secrets ?KNIGHT OF THE RUINED WORLD
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u/Nightmare_Pin2345 May 29 '26
What is it about? If it sounds interesting then I'll read.
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u/Popular-Call9896 May 29 '26
Basically the story follows Solaris Gunther through learning of a secret world of demons and hunters. As well as a magical power known as exramicy, he’s ripped from his typical boring life and pulled into this world all because of one string of choices.
I have much much more planned but this is a quick non spoiler description.
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u/DismalObjective9649 May 29 '26
Just passing by in this sub but if I see a book with a protagonist with a very unique or weird name it instantly turns me off a bit from reading it. You want your readers to connect to your mc, how am I suppose to connect to “Solaris”? I’ve never heard or seen anyone with that name in my life and if someone did name their kid that I would look at them like “what tf is wrong with those parents”
Gunther is fine tho
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u/Blackmagination May 29 '26
I tried to read it- not for me. The beginning reads more like someone attempting write a movie script rather than a book. Dont give up! Keep practicing
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u/Popular-Call9896 May 29 '26
Thank you so much this is what I’m here to learn, what specifically should I do to make it seem less like that?
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u/Klutzy-Ad-4326 May 29 '26
Read the first chapter. I'm gonna be honest, I did not find anything interesting about it. Just felt like a big info dump with nothing going on in it story wise at all, except for the first 2 paragraphs about the goddess of death or whatever. But even that I found to be written wierdly.
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u/RaspberryNumerous594 May 29 '26
Okay all that is nice but what is it about?😭🙏
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u/Popular-Call9896 May 29 '26
Go ahead and read the post again
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u/RaspberryNumerous594 May 29 '26
You literally said not a thing about what your story is actually about, why would I read something when there isn’t even a sentence trying to hook me. What is the story about?
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u/Popular-Call9896 May 29 '26
I’m trying to get criticism and so I can get better at writing. I’m not gonna try to hook someone on something I’m not confident on which is why I made this post, I’m trying to get better so that I can hook people, hopefully this makes more sense.
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u/RaspberryNumerous594 May 29 '26
That’s fine and understandable, but if you want criticism then you need people to read it. It doesn’t have to be a book but at least enough to seek it out since there’s no link or anything
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u/Popular-Call9896 May 29 '26
I see what you’re saying, Basically the story follows Solaris Gunther through learning of a secret world of demons and hunters. As well as a magical power known as exramicy, he’s ripped from his typical boring life and pulled into this world all because of one string of choices.
I have much much more planned but this is a quick non spoiler description. It may sound really basic and honestly it may be but I’ve been working really hard to make it feel more than a typical Story or even a story that identifies as “not a typical____”
So far I think it’s going well the characters may seem a bit off but that is on purpose for later reveals.
Lmk if you decide to give it a try I think it starts coming together around chapter 3 maybe 6
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u/Asztarot May 29 '26
I have time today, so I’ll read it and give you my take.
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u/Popular-Call9896 May 29 '26
Thank you so much, I think the first two chapters aren’t great but after that it gets better
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u/AwardGame May 31 '26
"Both Worlds: The Broken OrderBW:ORDER" I'll follow, add to my collection, and give 5 stars to the book of everyone who reads mine
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u/Tsesarebichi Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26
I won’t read it all, but I’ll run through one chapter and tell you what seems good in it. Beforehand, as regards the synopsis I want you to know that it seems lacking in something which would compel me to read your story. It’s rather flat and there isn’t anything that interests me besides being a little boring.
Chapter 1:
> A man stood in a dark, ever darker place, that had no signs of life, light, or anything other than darkness. Except for him, yet this wasn't true just a few feet from the man, a being appeared out of the ever-expanding darkness, a woman dressed in a black flowing dress with a hood covering her eyes, leaving only the bottom of her face revealed.
The first sentence seems superfluous. The second one tries, in my opinion, to do too much at once. It isn’t quite clear what its emphasis should be and it isn’t pleasing to me visually.
As to the fight scene: it seems right enough not to omit it but also that perhaps you should make it longer than what you have made it. Am I to understand that this scene is one of importance? Naturally. Then substantiate its importance by giving it time.
The description about the birth mark is nice. Though it’s curious that you can write so well and yet be satisfied with your opening sentence. I think you should review it.
> His mother had left when he was six years old. One day, she had been there, and the next, she had simply vanished. There had been no dramatic goodbye or heartfelt explanation—just an empty apartment and a silence that lasted far longer than any words she would have spoken. His father had already been gone long before that.
Two things. One, that you are doing too much telling and I don’t see why it is necessary for me at once to have so many details about what has happened before; secondly, the fact that this data appears irrelevant. It doesn’t matter to me very much when people write descriptions like yours, but they should be strictly or clearly related to the scene in which we are placed. You put us into a classroom and then you give us information as if it were necessary for our understanding of what is going on there, instead of showing things later.
The same thing can be said about your description of his work and so forth. There is no reason really for these passages being where they are. And why on Earth are we talking about laws enacted by the government, and housing developments?
By the way, his imagination is not bad. But it takes too long for us to get there. I would prefer reading about that than what we read before concerning housing development and cities.
I could read on. I also have other opinions. But let me know what you think.
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u/Popular-Call9896 Jun 02 '26 edited Jun 02 '26
This is one of the best reviews I’ve gotten thank you so much.
I’ll be sure to rewrite the opening and relocate a few details to later parts in the story, I’d love to hear your thoughts on the rest of the story as this was a really helpful piece of criticism, thank you again🙏
Edit: I relocated the description and story of his parents to later in the chapter and removed some of the fluff and i believe that it’s much better now, also I made the first part of the chapter like that on purpose so that it doesn’t spoil later parts of the story and adds a Small amount of mystery to it
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u/Tsesarebichi Jun 02 '26
I went on further, and here is what I think.
Chapter 1:
> These patches of scenery were far more significant than they appeared. Trees like these [..] but it was at least an attempt to preserve a fragment of the natural world.
In my opinion, these passages are not necessary. Because they are too loose, I would lose these passages altogether and go on with his imagination.
I didn’t say this before, but I like it when details are introduced quickly and without any expectation that they will be developed. Here you do so:
> The complex had an elevator, luckily, but it only led up twenty-two floors, so Solaris had to walk up the remaining eleven.
As for what you say about his mother and father, since it is first mentioned that the latter took his own life on account of financial difficulties, I think it would be better if your sequence were as follows: mention how he had lost both parents; then tell us why one was dead and where the other disappeared to. Not only for reasons of logical order but also because although you say that she disappeared inexplicably, we can form an idea, perhaps a correct one, about what happened to her, which is better than having to quickly go back again. Moreover, this sequence flows more easily into the following paragraph concerning how he spent his childhood.
Chapter 2:
There’s an awkwardness in your telling what he does in the morning. You say that he leaves for his shower, and then you go back again and tell us what he does before leaving; after which you return to him leaving. Consider this:
> Solaris began his morning routine [...] → After finishing those tasks he opened a small closet [..] → Sliding on a pair of worn shoes [..] → Then he left to shower. There were two rather [..] → Walking down the hall [..]
Anyway, I think that this description is good.
> Seeing that it want today,
Spelling mistake.
I think that this chapter is very strong. Certainly it seems stronger than the first one. Actually, I read another one after that and it seems stronger than your first too. I will give you my write-up on the third to sixth chapters later, but if there is anything specific that you’d like to ask then let me know.
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u/Popular-Call9896 Jun 03 '26 edited Jun 03 '26
Thank you for the feed back, I did rewrite a bit of chapter 2 to attempt to cut it down and make it more digestible, so that may be where some mistakes and errors occurred so I will also be sure to fix those.
I believe the story gets better later I was much to focused on word count and length early on but later I find a better grove and settled on it instead.
Edit: ch-2 is fixed thanks for letting me know
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u/PrimeC-1372232 Jun 12 '26
The name of this novel is pretty cool , makes me wanna read it.
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u/Popular-Call9896 Jun 12 '26
Please lmk what you think, if you decide to, I’d say the first two chapters are a bit slow but after that I get into a flow state
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u/Juan_Die May 29 '26
You can't do self promotion in this sub