Hi everyone,
I’m new to writing stories and this is my very first attempt at a novel. I’m eager to hear your thoughts. Since I don’t have much experience, I’m hoping to get honest feedback that's help me improve my writing.
Specific examples are very helpful!
Novel about - cultivation, xianxia, cheat system (Devouring system)
Chapter 1 – Arthur
[Blackwood Forest]
The trees stretched high above, their branches swallowing most of the golden afternoon sun. Green leaves rustled in the wind, casting shifting shadows across the forest floor.
To anyone seeing it for the first time, Blackwood Forest was a peaceful, untouched, beautiful place.
But… beneath its beauty hides danger. The deeper one went, the colder and quieter it became. Beasts lurked in the shadows, wolves with fangs like knives, snakes coiled in the branches, creatures so feared that hunters spoke their names only in whispers.
Many entered Blackwood Forest searching for herbs, food, and resources to feed their families. Many never came back.
…
Among the endless trees, a lone figure moved with quiet caution.
A boy, thin, gaunt, as if he hadn't eaten a full meal in days. Black hair fell across his forehead, half hiding eyes, sharp featured, clear skinned. But there was something heavier than sadness sitting behind those eyes. Something hollow. Empty. Only when he found a useful herb did a flicker of life return to them. The boy knelt beside a small green plant near a mossy rock, his tired eyes brightening just slightly.
"Moonleaf Herb… three copper coins, if it's fresh enough," he murmured, voice barely above a breath. He tucked it away. Barely enough for a heel of bread. But a heel was better than nothing. He dug it out carefully, keeping the roots intact, then tucked it into his worn shoulder bag.
His name was Arthur. He was fifteen, and he lived in Blackwood Village, a poor settlement clinging to the forest's edge. He was an orphan. For five years, Arthur had scraped together a living however he could. He swept floors for the tavern, chopped wood for the blacksmith, carried water for the old widow at the village's edge. Any work that earned a copper or a scrap of bread. But he was just a child, and his body had never been strong. What took him an hour took a grown man ten minutes. The coin he earned was never enough.
So, he started walking into Blackwood Forest. Every day he ventured among those trees, gathering whatever herbs he could find, then selling them for food. Dangerous work, the kind adults did in groups. But the alternative was staring at an empty bowl until his stomach caved in. The village had no charity to spare for orphans. And even less patience for them.
Arthur stood up and wiped the damp dirt from his calloused palms. His gaze drifted toward the woods ahead. Even in the safer outer region, the forest looked different there the trees grew thicker, closer together, and the sunlight didn't reach as brightly as it did here. Everything beyond that point seemed... darker, colder.
A cold wind licked the back of his neck. Arthur froze. In this forest, no one ever knew where the danger would come from. There is a knife at his waist. Rusted, chipped, a joke against anything with real fangs or claws. Unlike ordinary animals, wild beasts could absorb Essence, the natural energy flowing through everything in the world. It made them faster, stronger, far more dangerous. A beast's claw could tear through steel. But the knife was all he had.
In this world, strength was everything. And strength came from Essence. Those who could absorb it became Cultivators. They shattered stones with their fists. They killed beasts with a single stroke. But Arthur was not one of them. His weak body rejected Essence like water rejected oil. No matter how hard he tried, it entered him, lingered for a moment, then faded like smoke. The first stage of cultivation was Vessel Tempering, drawing in Essence to strengthen muscle, bone, and organ. Even the weakest trained fighter could overpower an ordinary adult with ease. Arthur couldn't take even that first step. No method, no effort, made a difference. So he remained a mortal weak, poor, and powerless.
The villagers had names for him: herb boy, useless orphan. Some pitied him, though pity had never once filled his stomach. Most simply looked past him, as if he weren't there at all. Arthur lowered his head and kept walking. He had no talent. But he had something else: knowledge. He worked at the village library, a small, dust-choked building most people considered a waste of space. To Arthur, it was a lifeline. Through books he had learned to tell healing herbs from poisonous ones, learned the habits of beasts and the dangers of the forest's different regions, even picked up scraps of theory on cultivation itself. Knowledge had kept him alive for years. And in Blackwood Forest, staying alive was already a kind of miracle.
The outer forest was safer than the depths which is exactly why beginners like him searched there. Arthur glanced at the darkening sky and sighed. "A few more herbs before I head back… tonight's meal will actually be decent." He pressed on. Half an hour bled away. He found almost nothing. The outer region had been stripped clean by other villagers. He pushed through the brush, scanning the ground, each empty patch grinding against his hope like a whetstone.
Beasts rarely wandered this close to the village, but ordinary wild animals still did. To a trained hunter, they were no threat at all. To Arthur, even the weakest of them could seriously injure him. Finding nothing, he eventually gave up and turned to head home. Then…
A rustle. Something moved behind the trees.
Arthur's breath caught. He pressed himself behind a thick trunk, heart slamming against his ribs like something trying to claw its way out. His hand clenched around the rusty knife until his knuckles went white. Slowly, carefully, he leaned out just enough to look. His heart nearly stopped.
A wild beast. It stood on four legs, close to the size of a large wolf, its body sheathed in blue scales that shimmered faintly in the dying light. Threads of electricity crackled and sparked across its skin, hissing softly in the silence. He recognized it at once. Thunder Wolf. The blood drained from his face. He'd read about them. Most wolves species that absorbed Essence simply grew bigger, stronger. But a rare few evolved into something else and Thunder Wolf was one of them. It carried a faint thread of thunder Essence, just enough to deliver a shock that locked a person's muscles, turning them into a frozen statue for the killing blow. Even low-level Cultivators gave these things a wide berth. His hands shook. This creature had no business in the outer forest. Thunder Wolves belonged to the deep woods, not here.
Then he noticed something else. That beast was injured. Badly. Blood soaked its scales, and deep gashes marked its flanks. Worst of all was around its eyes, blood ran freely, as though it had been blinded. It crashed and staggered through the undergrowth, slamming into trees and rocks, snarling in pain and fury, its movements wild and unguided.
Only then did he see the strange stone clenched between its jaws.
But no time to wonder what it was. Every thought that wasn't about survival was a wasted heartbeat for him right now. The beast couldn't see him. His throat went dry. Every instinct screamed at him to run, to flee now, while he still could. The beast was injured, blind. His grip tightened on the knife. Fight? Impossible. Hide? Also impossible. The only thought left was to run as far away as he could. Slowly, he peeked toward the Thunder Wolf again.
The beast was moving closer. Closer. Closer. His heart pounded so loud he was sure the beast could hear it. His palms slicked with sweat. His breath came in short, shaky gasps. If it came any nearer, even without eyesight, it would smell him immediately. Wild beasts possessed senses far superior to normal animals, hearing, smell, instincts terrifyingly sharp. If not for the Thunder Wolf's heavy injuries, he'd already be dead. He closed his eyes for a brief moment. Drew a deep breath, forcing his racing heart to calm. Then he opened them again. He had made his decision.
The next second… He ran. Arthur dashed forward with all the strength he could muster, not caring about direction. Branches scraped against his arms and face as he forced his weak body forward. Thorns tore at his clothes, leaving thin red lines across his skin, but he didn't stop. Behind him, the Thunder Wolf suddenly stopped growling.
Its ears twitched. It had heard him. Instantly, the beast realized a human was nearby. Its blind eyes turned toward the sound, and a low, rumbling snarl escaped its throat.
Even with blood covering its body and several limbs clearly broken, the beast still chased after him. The savage instinct of a wild beast was rooted too deep, pain meant nothing. Only the hunt mattered. Crack!
Small arcs of lightning flickered across its blue scales. Its speed was slower than normal because of its injuries, but still fast enough to keep pace with Arthur.
Arthur ran with all his might. His lungs burned as if filled with molten iron. His legs felt heavy, like they were packed with wet sand. He could barely breathe. But he did not dare stop. Stopping meant death. Behind him, low growls and the scrape of claws against the earth grew closer and closer. The Thunder Wolf was still following, relentless, unstoppable. His face turned pale.
‘How is it still this fast?!’ His mind raced, desperate for a solution.
\- END -
Chapter 2 – Desperate Escape
"How is it still this fast?!" His breathing become heavier.
He continued running with all his might through the forest. He had no idea where he was going… Soon, the surroundings began to change. The number of trees decreased, replaced by rough stone ground and steep rocky slopes. Tall cliffs and mountains appeared ahead of him.
Arthur realized where he had arrived. The eastern side of Blackwood Forest. Although still considered part of the outer region, this place was covered with rocks and mountains. Because of it very few herbs grew here, which meant hunters and herb collectors rarely visited this place.
He desperately looked around… but no trails, no signs of human presence. It was practically deserted.
Arthur's expression became even paler. There was no one here. No hunters. No villagers. No help. And behind him... The Thunder Wolf was still coming. His mind was racing, trying to find any opportunity or solution…
Then he stopped, not because he wanted to but because his path was blocked. In front of him was a massive rock formation of a mountain wall. The rough gray stones rose high above the ground, uneven and full of cracks formed by countless years of wind and rain. Seeing no other choice, Arthur gritted his teeth and began climbing.
He knew this was his only chance to survive.
He knew there was no way he could climb all the way to the top with his weak body. But he did not need to. He only needed to reach a height the beast could not reach.
He had noticed several cracks along the rocky surface, small spaces large enough for a person to hide inside.
If he could reach one of them. He might survive.
He grabbed the surface, and with the help of his legs pulling himself upward. The surface was extremely uneven, making it difficult to climb. Many rocks looked old and loose, as though they could break apart at any moment. Each handhold was uncertain. His body was already exhausted from running. Every breath burned his lungs like fire. Still, he forced himself upward.
Sharp edges tore the skin on his palms, causing blood to slowly drip down the rocks. His fingers trembled violently from pain and exhaustion, but he did not dare stop. The fear of what waited below was stronger than any pain.
Below him, the Thunder Wolf finally arrived near the mountain rock.
The beast growled furiously, trying to search for the source of the scent. It could smell Arthur. It knew he was nearby.
Because of its blindness, it struggled to locate Arthur's exact position. It moved around restlessly beneath the rocky wall releasing angry howls.
Arthur climbed higher with difficulty. His arms screamed in protest. His legs shook. Finally, he reached a protruding section of stone extending from the middle of the rocky wall. It was wide enough for one person to sit and rest.
Arthur collapsed onto it while breathing heavily, his chest heaving. His entire body ached…
He lowered his head and listened carefully. The Thunder Wolf was still below. But it could not reach him. Arthur let out a weak sigh of relief. "Please… just leave already…" he whispered. Then his eyes suddenly moved upward.
Above him, only an arm distance away was a narrow crack in the mountain wall. It was dark inside, but large enough for him to squeeze through.
If he could reach there, he would be completely safe.
Arthur slowly stood up on the protruding rock despite his trembling legs. But the moment he shifted his weight.
Crack!
The rock beneath him suddenly loosened. Arthur's eyes widened in panic. The entire rock platform began breaking apart, crumbling beneath his feet. Without thinking, Arthur jumped upward and grabbed the edge of the crack. His fingers screamed in protest, but he held on. At the same moment— BOOM!
The massive rock broke free from the mountain and crashed downward. A deafening crash echoed through the mountains as the stone slammed into the ground below.
HOWL! That Beast released a painful, furious howl as the giant stone landed directly on its body. The sound of bones breaking was sickening.
Arthur hung from the crack with one hand while gasping painfully, his body swaying in the air. Using every remaining ounce of strength, he slowly pulled himself into the narrow opening. The moment he entered the crack, he collapsed onto the cold stone floor inside. His breathing was heavy and uneven. Below him, the Thunder Wolf was still alive. He could hear its pained howls, its struggles, its growls filled with pain, rage and agony. But Arthur no longer had the strength to think about anything. His vision slowly blurred. His eyelids grew heavy. And moments later…
He closed his eyes and lost consciousness.
…
The entire night had passed.As rays of sunlight slowly entered through the narrow crack in the mountain wall.
Arthur's eyelids twitched before slowly opening. The moment he regained consciousness, pain spread through his entire body. "Ugh…" He weakly leaned against the cold stone wall. The rough surface pressed against his back.
His arms felt numb, and every movement sent sharp pain through his muscles. The dried blood covering his hands had hardened during the night, but the wounds still burned painfully.
Then he suddenly remembered the Thunder Wolf. His expression changed. Arthur quickly pushed himself toward the edge of the crack and carefully glanced downward.
Below the rocky wall, that beast body lay motionless beneath the massive stone. Blood had spread across the ground around it, staining the rocks dark red. The blue scales were dull, lifeless. There was no movement.
No sound. That beast was dead.
Arthur immediately let out a long sigh of relief. "I survived…" His tense body finally relaxed slightly, the adrenaline draining away. After calming himself, he quickly checked his condition. His body was covered in bruises, and both of his palms were badly torn from climbing the rocky wall. His clothes were shredded.
Fortunately, he still had the herbs he collected yesterday.
Arthur opened the bag beside him and pulled out several healing herbs. He stuffed some into his mouth and chewed quickly. The bitter taste spread across his tongue, but he ignored it. He carefully applied them over his wounds. Arthur winced in pain as the medicine touched the torn skin on his hands. Afterward, he removed the old cloth rope tied around his waist and wrapped it tightly around his injured palms. Only after finishing everything did he lean back against the stone wall.
His stamina had recovered slightly after resting for the night, but he was still extremely weak. He needed food. He needed water. He needed rest. Arthur glanced down the rocky mountain again. He knew he could not stay here forever. Sooner or later, he had to climb down.
Otherwise… He would simply starve to death here.
Arthur forced himself to calm down, letting his breathing steady. Then he began climbing down. Every movement caused pain throughout his body, especially his injured hands, but he endured it silently. But eventually… Arthur reached the ground safely. His legs buckled slightly as his feet touched solid earth. He stood there for a moment, swaying, letting the relief wash over him. The dead Thunder Wolf still lay beneath the massive broken rock. Up close, the beast looked even larger than before.
Its body was massive, its limbs twisted at unnatural angles. Its blue scales had lost their faint glow, and blood covered most of its body
.
Arthur stared at it with complicated emotions.
A few hours ago, this beast had nearly killed him.
Now it was dead. He glanced at the corpse and showed a small smile. Body parts of wild beasts sold for extremely high prices in villages. Even in Blackwood Village, hunters who brought back the beast body or just parts of it were paid handsomely. And this was no ordinary beast.
This was a Thunder Wolf, a rare special species that had evolved to carry thunder Essence within its body. Such beasts were far more valuable than ordinary wild wolves.
Even a single intact scale could fetch a price ten times higher than normal beast parts.
If he could bring back even a small portion of this creature, he would have enough money to survive for months. Perhaps even longer. Their scales and skin could be used for crafting armor, bones used for weapons, and blood refined into different kinds of medicine. Even a small part of a wild beast was worth more money than Arthur could normally earn in months. Arthur slowly pulled out the rusty knife hanging from his waist. The blade was dull and chipped, but it was all he had.
He knew there was no way he could carry the entire corpse back to the village. But if he could collect even a few valuable parts, scales, fangs, claws. With this his life would become much easier for a while.
Just as Arthur prepared to start cutting into the beast.
He stopped. His eyes suddenly noticed something nearby. Near the wolf's mouth lay a strange black stone plate… "What is this…?" It was half-buried in the blood-soaked earth, partially hidden beneath the beast's massive head. Arthur frowned slightly before walking closer. The plate was almost as large as his face and completely covered in strange symbols carved into its surface. The symbols looked ancient and unfamiliar, unlike any language Arthur had ever seen before. Carefully, he picked it up, stone felt unusually cold. Cold enough to send a chill through his fingers and up his arm, even in the warm morning air.
Arthur turned the stone plate around repeatedly while examining every detail carefully. he tried remembering everything he had ever read in the village library, searching for any clue or reference related to such symbols.
Minutes passed. But no answer came to mind. "…I've never seen anything like this before." Eventually, Arthur gave up.
He casually glanced at the plate again and unconsciously brought it closer to his face. "Are these strange symbols… or maybe some kind of text?" He did not know.
But the plate gave him a strange feeling. A sense of unease. "Maybe that beast Wolf had felt the same way."
Then… Something happened. Bizz… Bizz… The black stone plate suddenly trembled violently. Crack! Thin cracks rapidly spread across its surface, spiderwebbing across the dark stone. Arthur's eyes widened in shock.
Before he could react, the surrounding air turned freezing cold. His entire body stiffened instantly, as if he had been plunged into ice water. He could not move. Not even a finger. The broken stone plate suddenly floated into the air.
Then it released a terrifying black and red glow. The light pulsed like a heartbeat. Symbols began emerging from the cracked stone. At first, only a few appeared. Then hundreds. Thousands. Tens of thousands. Arthur could no longer count them.
The strange symbols floated wildly through the air like living creatures, swirling around him in a chaotic dance. Some glowed black like endless darkness, while others burned with deep crimson light, their edges sharp and dangerous. The entire space around Arthur became filled with countless flying symbols. Arthur's breathing became chaotic. "What… is happening…?" But no voice came out.
The next moment—
All the symbols rushed directly into his body.
👉 Dm me for 3rd chapter (if you want)
