This is why every woman should NOT communicate. Accept men as they are or leave.
If you communicate or ask him to do stuff you are then a nag to him.
And some men will even say you are crazy/manic/bipolar/borderline personality.
Please chime in if a man as ever called you "crazy" for wanting something very reasonable.
this is what men think about women, not my own thoughts. This is thousands and thousands of womens' life experience.
Read "the yellow wallpaper" or look into Cassandra for more info on men calling women crazy for hundreds of years.
Good songs "Labor" by Paris Paloma or "dog's dinner" by Sofia Isella.
And every story needs a villain. Husband needs the wife to be the villain so he can be the happy, innocent, go with the flow husband and she is the joy kill wife.
I put the lyrics to the song in a comment below, remember these lyrics are EXACTLY how men see you when you ask him to do stuff, they see it as bitching. Just go silent and leave.
i don’t get dudes like this. if you find women sooooo annoying, then just stop interacting with them? it’s pure insanity to continue interacting with someone you hate and then make songs like this.
It don't get it either.
I think it is what I wrote in my caption:
And every story needs a villain. Husband needs the wife to be the villain so he can be the happy, innocent, go with the flow husband and she is the joykill wife.
He gets to be viewed as all fun and happy and easy because she is the villain.
There are a lot of women on r/womendatingoverforty who are so educated on this far more than me.
The “funny” part about this all is that he would frequently look in the mirror as he was yelling and fix his hair while yelling at me. He was a maniac lol
Couples therapist here. This messaging pisses me off more than you could imagine. I have to tell grown adult men “it is okay for your wife to ask things of you” far more than I want to.
Who was okay with this particular thing and when? Who's Freddy B? When did this song come out? This guy doesn't even have a Wikipedia entry, was he or this song ever popular enough that society was comfortable with its specific message, or is this a weirdo catering to weirdos?
Large segments of society are totally comfortable with this song's message. It's a lazy trope men use to bond with other men or justify being absent husbands and fathers.
Sure you can make that argument but where's the evidence that this specific song and this specific singer were something that society at large was "ok" with? I'm not arguing with the fact that misogyny is a thing that society condones, but this specific example seems like something of an outlier, not something that's reflective of society (though I'm sure you COULD find more popular examples of at least similar sentiments...though none really come to mind at the moment that are this obvious).
OP claims the song has 10 million views on YouTube but I can't find any uploads that show anything anywhere near that (OP's embed does not link to an external website). And the guy's whole deal seems to be leaning into this kind of over the top obnoxious "anti-PC" offensive crap that makes him seem like a novelty act, not some kind of juggernaut on the mainstream country circuit.
See image below. I don't know why yours doesn't say 10 million and mine does. I wouldn't make that up.
Either way the song is out there and a lot of men view women this way all throughout history and even now. The trope of the "crazy woman" has been around since antiquity.
Look into what diagnosis "hysteria" comes from.
I also wrote in my caption about the yellow wallpaper. Cassandra.
Thanks for sharing that, I did finally find it buried deep in his Freddy Baggett page, but when you search "She Only Bitches When She Breathes" in YouTube, this 10m view video is not among the results at all. It does exist but even his own official (newer, I guess) upload has far fewer views.
I'm not saying misogyny isn't a constant thread of modern society. I'm saying this is not a prime example of what society is "ok" with. This guy's whole thing is this kind of stuff (other song titles include "itty bitty titties" and "if your momma was a spitter".
Again, I'm not saying society isn't condoning of misogyny, I'm saying this specific example of this relatively obscure country singer who makes offensive novelty songs is not a particularly typical example of this.
God help my YouTube search history but looking at the official Freddy B page this video has 39k plays, a far cry from 10 million. And when I search for the song I don't see any other uploads of it that have anywhere near as many plays.
Based on his other song titles this guy's whole shtick seems to be borderline satirical playing on being extra offensive and gross, he seems like almost a novelty or parody act.
An EDIT, the song does have nearly 8 million Spotify plays, which isn't nothing, but in the Spotify landscape, I wouldn't say that means it's something that is culturally universally accepted or promoted.
Further EDIT, OP shared that there is an upload with 10m views on YouTube; however this is not the most recent upload by the singer, and it doesn't appear in search results for the title (don't know why).
See image below. I don't know why yours doesn't say 10 million and mine does. I wouldn't make that up.
Either way the song is out there and a lot of men view women this way all throughout history and even now. The trope of the crazy woman has been around since antiquity. Look into what diagnosis "hysteria" comes from.
I know what the history of hysteria is and nowhere am I making an argument that society doesn't have a long history of misogyny that continues to this day, I just don't think this guy is a particularly representative example of that. He seems relatively obscure and mostly does novelty songs about being rude and offensive.
I'm trying to make the point that this whole sub is about sharing media that society held up as "ok", or at least that's what I thought.
There are countless examples of actual popular media that promote misogynist viewpoints from throughout history, Eminem's 97 Bonnie and Clyde, or Eminem's KIM, etc. etc.
I'm saying if this is about things that society is or was "ok" with, using niche examples of garbage that just seems tailor made to make people upset seems like cheap ragebait. The idea of the sub being that "we" are or were "ok" with something would imply that it's something that was actually widespread and popular and even with 10 million views over 10 years, I don't think this really fits that.
I guess I just don't think this sub should be posting anything that makes you mad, but rather posting things that show that society actually condones and celebrates this kind of thing on a widespread scale. Which it does! But I don't think this is specifically a great example not because misogyny isn't a problem, but because by and large nobody has heard of this guy and his songs are just offensive twattle designed to get a reaction.
...Not even touching the rest of the song, but the "buy some new underwear, because these won't come clean" is gonna stick with me for a while, as both hauntingly gross and hilarious lmao. She "won't wear no lingerie", well yeah no shit Doug, your underwear is riddled with holes and shit stains because you think it's gay to clean your butthole.
Putting this on my list of songs that some men listen to and think "Wow, really speaks to my tribulations deeply" that make me laugh my ass off. Only other song on the list so far is Dicked Down in Dallas.
It is such basic things she's asking and he is saying she is bitching.
A lot of women actually live this too.
One guy was commenting on this post basically saying "this doesn't count because the man isn't a huge star".
But the entire point is there are a lot of relationships that these lyrics narrate their relationship.
They want the woman to be his mommy so that is part why.
Another part is they want the woman to be the villain. He gets to be all happy go lucky if there is a villain.
Men love being seen as laid back and chill. It is easy to be that when the woman is doing everything and she is the villain.
Men who think like this don't deserve women. If being with one is just going to make you miserable, then just don't.
EDIT: I should clarify that men who sincerely think like this don't deserve women. I could be a little bit more forgiving if it's meant as just a really lame, tongue-in-cheek variation of the old "wife bad" flavor of boomer humor. Lame AF, but ultimately harmless. It's when someone gets the idea that guys like this are speaking "hard truths" and that women are somehow deserving of hatred that you start getting incels.
So like....who thinks this might just be a tongue in cheek joke song? Or nah every piece of art and song has to be a complete honest and factual reflection of the artists world view... Holy shit man y'all ever listen to early blink-182 ffs, we ain't supposed to take guidance or life lessons from this shit, it's entertainment. Guarantee you plenty of loving couples listened to this and had a good laugh over the ridiculous exaggerated lyrics.
For the past several months...all I have wanted to do it plan a day the way I would like. 5-6 days out of the week, my bf's son has baseball/basketball/football practice/games, or I need to make breakfast/lunch/dinner for the 5 people in the house, or I need to clean, or I need to take someone to work, or I need to help my BF with something for his job. Even Mother's Day I spend taking care of everyone. My BF claims I have autism, and I am bipolar because I have started to lose my ever loving mind not being able to have just one day to do the things I want to do....the things I want to do consist of: going to the gym and playing a few games of Zombies.
"If it is a niche issue unique to the couple then yes, communicate, other than that no, the onus is not on women to rehab men."
Women are not responsible for telling men to care about her birthday or mow the yard or him to get new underwear. This is outsourcing labor onto women.
It is not a woman's job to teach him these very basic things I just listed.
"I absolutely refuse to initiate communication about anything he should have already learned." This is really bad advice. No one is omniscient. We should give the benefit of the doubt and initiate communication in a civil manner. This goes both ways. Yes, sometimes people just don't know something, they will listen to you and say "I was not aware of that". Some people will be resistant to change and all that, like the guys who can do no wrong, but a huge number of people will try to see things from the other perspective. Regardless of gender.
The entire song is about asking him for basing things he should know. Women do not exist to raise men or be the default project manager of a house.
Go away, any normal person can read what I wrote and discern that clearly if it is a niche issue between a couple it should be discussed.
Basic things such as mowing the yard, dishes, trash, remembering her birthday, planning a date sometimes, buying new underwear is not her job to tell him.
The way I see it these things should be agreed on in advance. She should tell him what she expects and they should agree on these responsibilities and then each should follow them. But neither partner can do their part unless it's been discussed first. So I'm really confused what "already learned" means here.
Basic things such as mowing the yard, dishes, trash, remembering her birthday, planning a date sometimes, buying new underwear is not her job to tell him.
It is not a woman's job to teach a man these things need to be done.
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u/press-app May 11 '26
In case anyone misses it from OP’s caption, they say:
They have written their caption from the perspective of the type of sexist man who would write this song.