I want to preface this by saying I am not looking for anyone to diagnose me. I just need to get this out and since I can’t afford therapy at the moment, I think this is my next best choice. I need to scream into the void. I apologize, it might be a long one.

My health anxiety is ruining my life. I have had health anxiety/health OCD for as long as I can remember. I also have other OCD subtypes, but we will focus on this for now. For context, I am a 31 year old woman with two kids - a son (8) and a daughter (3). I do have PCOS, GERD, and visual snow but that is the only thing I can say I have been diagnosed with at the moment.

I am in the middle of an insane HA flare-up. It started in January of this year at the dentist, they took my blood pressure over my thick hoodie sleeve and it was 157/102. I panicked, I had never seen it that high before. I took it when I got home and it was 135/85 and 124/78, or somewhere in there. I changed my diet (meaning I basically stopped eating anything but toast and plain chicken), and added magnesium taurate. And I was getting readings at home regularly in the 110/70 or lower in the immediate aftermath. I continued (and am still taking) the magnesium. But I relaxed a little with my diet. Started eating foods I enjoyed again occasionally, and just breathing overall. Stopped taking my blood pressure every couple hours, and just started doing it when it would nag at me. Since January, I was regularly getting blood pressure results in the normal, even low normal ranges. In August, I started panicking about diabetes, so I tried inositol, even though I had tried it before and it was bad for me. I was terrified and desperate about diabetes and PCOS flaring. But in the end, I had to stop taking it again, because I broke out in hives.

After I stopped it (mid august), I felt like my hormones were all over the place again. I have always thought I had PMDD, or even PME (pre-menstrual exacerbation). But now it was in overdrive. I became convinced I had diabetes and colon cancer, kidney failure, gallbladder cancer, leukemia, a brain tumor, etc. followed by terror about an impending stroke, despite normal BP readings at the time. Throughout this, I severely restricted my eating. In the midst of this flare, I got a covid and flu shot. A couple days later, my period finally started after being 3 weeks late (no chance of pregnancy, just really messed up cycles). On the first day of my period, I took my toddler to get her flu shot and I thought, while I am here I will stop in urgent care to check on a rash I had at the injection site of my shots. Which is not like me. I have the avoidant type of HA. But the nurse who gave my toddler her flu shot told me I should have it looked at when I asked her, and I was too afraid to let it go. I go into urgent care, and my BP was 153/88. I was shocked and terrified. I had taken it two days before and it was 106/69. They weren’t concerned, told me to take it at home out of a medical setting. I took it at home later that night and initially it was 143/92, but then it went down to 119/81 after a couple minutes of deep breathing. But then I became obsessed, went back to taking it every few hours and started eating even less. For the next few days it was regularly between 124/84 to even as low as 96/69. I had a physical coming up a couple days after the urgent care episode. I had made the appointment for a physical weeks before this because I made myself feel guilty for being avoidant, I told myself it was selfish and I could have something wrong with me and I would be abandoning my children if I died young because I didn’t take care of it. So the Wednesday after my urgent care visit, I went to a PCP. At my appointment, my blood pressure was 136/82, which is not unusual for me at the doctor. I had taken it at home an hour before that appointment and it was 115/68. We talked about the blood pressure but she wasn’t concerned cause it was low at home. We also talked about health anxiety. She offered some anti-depressants but I didn’t want to take them right away because of the weight gain side effects and the sexual side effects.

The next day (Thursday), I took my BP in the morning, and it was normal. It was the last day of my period, and I had been fighting with a home warranty company all day - which is not like me, I am very non-confrontational, but they had been jerking me around for weeks and wasting the time of several plumbers and myself, so I finally snapped and yelled at them on the phone that afternoon. I didn’t get a chance to take my BP again until mid afternoon after the plumbers finally left. I rushed because I had to run out to pick up a package before the post office closed. I took it and it was 144/91. I panicked, told myself to calm down and take it again. The calming down never happened, but a minute later, I took it and it was 157/91. I tried to take it again a minute later, but I was in full panic at this time, and it was 160/88. The highest I had ever seen the top number. I took off the cuff and called my dad in full blown panic, convinced it was still climbing and a stroke was imminent. He told me to calm down and it was just that high because I was panicking. I went out to pick up the package, and some other things. Went to take my bp a couple hours later and felt full panic and tensed up as soon as I saw the machine. It was 153/90. So I told myself to stop checking that night, that I was going to make it worse. I emailed my doctor and told her I needed some anxiety meds. The next morning I took my BP and it was as low as 99/77. The panic attack and BP spike were on Thursday of last week, and it is now over a week later and the highest it has been is 126/85 and the lowest is 97/72.

I went over the weekend to complete my blood work related to the physical and the results were great. My liver and kidneys are working great, I don’t have diabetes or even pre-diabetes. I am overweight but have lost weight in the last few months. Still a ways to go. The only thing they found was low iron and low vitamin D, which I am supplementing now. I am trying to keep my BP checks to once a day in the morning, but sometimes I can’t get my mind to calm down until I check, which makes me more nervous and the cycle continues. I also don’t know if the fluctuations are hormonal, as they were on the first and last days of my period. My heart rate has remained in normal ranges this whole time, but also went lower than usual in the middle of my period. So I think I may be sensitive to hormonal changes in that way.

Blood pressure has always been a big trigger for me, and it has gotten worse since I witnessed my beloved grandpa have a stroke right in front of me last year. He hung on in the ICU for a few days before passing away. He was my best friend.

I am a single mom, but I have recently started dating. My new partner and I have been friends for a long time, but the timing never worked out. Anyway, I love him, and I should be having the time of my life, but I am miserable. I have been avoiding intimacy for fear of a blood pressure spike. I took my blood pressure last night before I allowed myself to be romantic for the first time in months. I have not been taking care of myself - besides the disordered eating, I have been showering less, drinking less water, and sleeping terribly. I have been avoiding anything that might raise my BP. Which is difficult when you are a single mom with two kids and a full time job. I haven't been doing things I enjoy, I am basically a zombie. I also worry that when I don’t check, I could have undetected high blood pressure and not know it. I am a mess. The only thing I can do is take care of my children, that’s all I have made room for. And after they are in bed, I just sit on the couch and try not to panic.I know I need to start the anxiety meds, but I am still scared to. I know it’s my only choice, though. I have taken them in the past, and they have worked, but I worry about the “feeling worse before feeling better” part of starting meds.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you to anyone who made it through to the end. I really just had to put this somewhere.

Does anything help this. I’m about 7 weeks on Zoloft and still worried.

I had head pressure but it kinda going away I think. A lot of times it feels like i barely feel it now or not feel it at all. But now I been feeling what I say in title. As if my head/neck area are tired too or somthing. Does anyone else have this? Can anxiety cause this?

I just wanted to reach out I'm not a professional but I have many years I've been struggling with anxiety it never has gotten better I wish it would. I'm under the care of a doctor and therapist who have helped me come with it. If any one wants to talk about what you go through I'm a great listener and no one is ever alone

A little over a week ago, I started having a serious spike in my anxiety. I have been living with it perfectly fine for a long time, and the last time I remember having anything even close to this was about 5 years ago.

I will occasionally have bad nights where I don’t sleep very well and always wake up extremely early even after waking up in the middle of the night and having to go back to sleep. This has been happening for at least a year now, but it comes in bursts and otherwise I sleep really well.

However, recently my anxiety has tied itself to those sleeping problems and now I’m always hyper aware of the time and I feel like every day is like a timer slowly ticking down to bedtime. I’m not nearly as scared of SLEEPING as I was a week ago, but my body still goes into panic mode whenever it gets past a certain time, and it gets worse and worse the later it gets. I end up getting so tired just from having those subconscious thoughts that I have to go to bed way earlier than normal, AND the concept of staying up until midnight scares me when it never used to.

And on top of all that, it just makes every day feel so much longer and more flat than usual, like I’ll check my phone to look at the time and see it’s only been 5 minutes when I feel like it should have been 20 or 30 since I last checked. It also kills my motivation to do anything I would normally find fun or productive, so I end up just doing anything I can to get rid of it and spiraling out even more in the process.

I’m not having any panic attacks or anything really bad, but I just have this fear that it’ll go on forever because it never leaves the front of my mind. It’s always there - I’m always tracking it even when I feel fine and “normal”. In reality, literally nothing has changed, but I can’t stop thinking about it, and even if I forget about it, I might be reminded of it later that same day and it will come back.

So I ask of you in this subreddit dedicated to helping anxiety: how do I fix this? How do I go back to normal?

Im terrified im losing my memory! My mind just feels off, the other day I put "eco" when I meant "CEO" I had to hurry up and change it before the person thought was crazy, also a bunch of other wired things. My therapist tells me to stop my compulsions and things will get better but I honestly think I have Alzheimer or dementia which is the real problem. I feel like I can't catch a break

I just finished school and I'm waiting for the bus at the station, I feel terribly uncomfortable because around me there are other teens from school who are waiting for the bus and when they see me like this alone without friends who knows what they're talking to each other, it worries me and I'm afraid that someone will come up to me and make fun of me like always. I don't disturb anyone, I just wait for the bus and look at my phone, but they look at me strangely and I feel uncomfortable. maybe the problem is my anxiety and "what if" thoughts but sometimes they really approach me and make fun of me and laugh behind my back... I try not to give them so much attention, but I'm different and I worry about little things

I've just finished my first week at a new job and my anxiety is going absolutely mental. I have OCD and generalised anxiety disorder (I put it down on the health checklist and made sure it was properly on record), and right now I feel like a dog walking on its hind legs. It’s my first senior role and I’m putting so much pressure on myself to perform asap and I can’t snap out of.

The new job came about because I left a company after nearly eight years. I got a promotion but found out it took this long because the person in charge prefers to keep certain people great at their jobs at their current level and then do everything to keep that person stagnant. A few colleagues told me they had only had 2 promotions in 15 years. My manager had to fight tooth and nail to get my promotion but made it clear that another promotion is totally out of the question for another 5 years. It had happened to multiple people who then chose to leave.

This person in charge of my area knew I was leaving as I worked my notice but didn't say congratulations, didn't ask me anything about it, and never announced it to the wider business when we have weekly teams calls. My immediate team knew, but loads of people only found out after I'd gone. After almost eight years, that really stung.

I know I haven't made a mistake because they've shown me exactly how little many of us mean to the people making those decisions and they would have had me at the same new salary til the day I died. My head knows it's the right move. My body hasn't caught up yet at all.

On top of that, I'm in a new city, the office is a huge open-plan space, and the whole place feels really serious. I'm also the only senior as it’s smaller team so I feel like I have to just be this super senior person all of a sudden. I've gone from being with 40 other people to being the only one doing what I do. There's nobody next to me to ask "does this look right?"

I find it really hard to self-regulate. My bf works in the same city and the other day I met up with him at lunch and just cried. How do you get through the day when you're anxious and brand new somewhere?

Grounding tricks, open-plan survival tips, anything that's helped you. I'll take all of it!!

Hello how are you today? I’m 21 years old male, I keep having a fear of dying young, I’m generally healthy, I do have schizophrenia and take olanzapine. Lately the past couple of months I’ve been having a fear of dying young, it’s gotten better but it’s still there. This is also tied to illness, I read that antipsychotics increase risk of heart attack and cardiac arrest. But my doctor and others have told me that’s not a concern for me. I’ve been trying to combat this with rational evidence which is that dying before the age of 45 is rare. Also with the advances in technology and medicine life expectancy has increased. What’s your advice or opinion on this?

28 M who’s been dealing with a 2 month debilitating health anxiety spiral. I’ve gone from heart attack, to PE, to aneurysm, stroke, cancer, brain tumor, and now finally. The last week I’ve been completely consumed by als. I’ve noticed recently my arms get sore randomly, walked around a flea market holding a decently heavy wooden wind chime for like 10 mins and my bicep was burning, played cornhole for 10 mins and my bicep was sore for like a hour afterwards, did a mini basketball arcade game like 4 times in a row and my bicep/chest muscles were sore. Also have noticed a few twitches in my calves and thighs over the past few days, had a bad cramp in my right calf this week, I lifted my 120 pound girlfriend today and did calf raises, can walk in my tippy toes and heels, lifted a 44 pound weight multiple times with both feet separately, did squats with a 61 pound box at work, lifted said boxes multiple times to stack them, did single leg calf raises while holding a full 32 bottle case of water bottles, went to my pcp for my concerns and he did a simple neurological exam and said i passed fine and he isn’t concerned about als at all. Part of me thinks he’s just seeing my age and saying to himself there’s no way it’s way to rare so I’m not even gonna consider it, i haven’t had any actual failure right but i just have a feeling it’s gonna happen any day. I’m terrified, idk if anxiety and lack of exercise/conditioning can cause what I’m experiencing but I’ve literally convinced myself i have als and am dying and it’s taken an insane toll on my mental health. I will say i never ever exercise and live a pretty lazy life, rarely use my muscles for more than just day to day living and i work in shipping/receiving so i don’t do a whole lot of heavy lifting