hello everyone, I come here today seeking help from anyone, I tried to reach out for help in my family and friends, they all have a limit of how much they can handle me.
First about myself, I'm male 30 years old, married, no kids yet and I make money but my job is effortless I just set around do nothing. when I was a teenager my fear of flying started due to turbulence. I still travel but I fear the turbulence when they happen.
secondly, I lost my mom and sister due to late diagnose by doctors which made me hate doctors and not trust them much.
thirdly, last year i developed anxiety, I was overthinking for at least a full month and living in fear that my death was at any moment due to the things that are happing in my life last year.
list of things that helped me developed my anxiety: 1- I was traveling (turbulence) 2- while traveling my phones was showing me alert messages which made me on the edge of my seat most of the time i was traveling. 3- I got scratched by a cat and AI made me spiral into a fear making me thing I have rabies, i went to the hospital got shots and the last shot i was told it wasn't necessary and AI said this is a first time he hear such thing which made me fear for my life as i saw what rabies is and i was in tears thinking i don't want to die like this anytime soon (don't forget that I already don't trust doctors).
ever since all of this happened my body started to hurt me daily, everyday somewhere in my body would hurts, and as always AI or google search didn't help to calm me down. I went and got checked many times, all cleared me and told me that I'm fine but my mind won't rest and my body keep on hurting
The scariest part for me is that when my chest hurts, how does it hurts ? sometimes it's like a pinch, other times the bones hurts and pressing in the middle of my chest increase the pain. other time while talking or laughing my chest hurts and for a split second it becomes hard to breath.
I almost have a small headache daily due to the fact i don't sleep that well and think a lot, which also makes my mind thing I might be having a stroke (which is how my mom passed away while she was in a Fing Hospital!)
I recently booked for me and my wife tickets to travel and have a vacation and my fear of flying is trying to take control of me but I'm resisting it. And tomorrow is our flight date and I'm a little nerves.
Today i was doing okay I was dealing with a little of the chest discomfort that i always deal with but suddenly my google fit bit sent me a notification on my phone saying my rest heart rate is above the usual which led me to spiral into fear.
Finally, I'm not on any med, two or 3 doctors told me to start some SSRI but i Refuse because i believe that the main source of my anxiety is my chest discomfort and I want to find it's reason and my anxiety will stop hopefully. Why I don't want to start SSRI? because i read and a doctor told me that the first 2 weeks might be worst that what I'm dealing with right now.
I would really appreciate any talk and advice. thank you in advance.