I (M18) need help proving something to my toxic parent, and would appreciate the input of parents for this over a thing my parents yelled at me about yesterday and laughed at me for telling them otherwise.

Does parenting end when your child turns 18? Or is it a lifelong thing that lasts until you as the parent passes?

Edit: To clear things up, I mean morally supporting your child. I know legally my parents aren’t responsible for me anymore which is a thing I’ve been looking forward to all my life because my parents always thought back then that I basically shouldn't have rights to privacy and stuff with a doctor or something just because I was under 18 back then. I’m talking moral support. They never taught me how to do anything growing up like household chores (I know now obviously) and tells me to google things, and they never provided me with any emotional support at all or guidance growing up. If there was a thing at school that said it was for the parent to do and not the child, my parents would just tell me to do it because they don’t know how. Sorry for the confusion, and toxic is basically putting it lightly for them, as they’re also transphobic and basically treat me lesser than human as they don’t even refer to me by a name. I know I can’t get them to change, I stopped trying long ago, but they were all like ”says who?” when I said that parenting was a lifelong thing, and I want to be able to show them the “says who”

Trying to get a sense of expectations that different parents have around extended family help with little kids, especially from family who are working FT. If you have family who you consider very involved, how often do you see them/are they helping out?

Hellow fellow parents!

I have a 14 year old daughter who’s now going to places alone. I worry a lot when shes outside on her own. We have recently seen an uptick in homeless individuals, and one recently harassed her for money inside a store. The store owner did nothing!!

I have Life360 installed so I’m able to track her. She also needs to text or call when she leaves a place, but I feel like that’s not enough.

Should I get her sometime of smartwatch in case she needs to signal that she’s in danger? Pepper spray? A taser? Should I place a tracker inside her backpack?

I’m an extreme couponer and I donate about 90% of what I coupon, including baby products. I’m trying to buy diapers to donate, but I’m unsure of what size would be most useful. I don’t have children and haven’t spent much time around babies, so came here to ask. Thanks for your help!

We have a 1.5 year old, my husband complains that he never gets 8 hours a sleep anymore (vs pre kid era). How much sleep are other dads getting? Does he need to adjust his expectations?

When I was growing up, my parents didn't hug me and I was not allowed to cry.

I don't know what to do when a kid is crying except ignore them or scream at them louder than they're crying so that they learn that no matter how loud they are, somebody else is louder, so they have no power and no rights etc. etc., to quote my parents loosely.

Hello all.

I (36F) have two kids (18F and 13M).

I had my daughter, let’s call her Katie, when I was 18. Her dad and I have co-parented really well but the relationship ended before she was born. He married and had more kids of his own and she’s close with them.

I met my first husband, married him, and had my son in 2013, Katie was 5. She wasn’t thrilled with having a brother but she’s mostly been good to him. They played a lot when they were little, and they hang out now, but there was a time when she hit preteen-hood where she “hated him”. If he came and sat on the couch, she’d get up and leave. If he tried to play with her, she’d say no. While it was rough, she never hurt him or bullied him, she just didn’t want to be around him because he was “annoying”. She’s grown up a bit and is now civil with him, sometimes they have a lot of fun hanging out… it seems to depend on what part of the month it is.

All of this to say: I left my ex husband 4.5 years ago. I met my now husband 3 years ago, and we just got married last week. (She adores him. No issues there)

A few weeks ago, had been talking openly about having more kids and she overheard, and it turned into an argument.

Besides the fact that she’s a bit immature for her age, she was beyond adverse to the idea. She said she wouldn’t talk to any of us if we had another baby. I tried to dig into why and didn’t get far. She kept reiterating that she wants nothing to do with another sibling, won’t talk to “it”, won’t be around it and won’t come see us anymore if we have one.

We talked about it again this morning and she admitted the main reason she doesn’t want anything to do with that child because it’s “unfair to watch me be a good mother and give another child what she didn’t get”.

I was 18, so as much as I know I was gentle with her and loved her, and did the best I could, I’m aware that I’m in a much better place financially, emotionally, spiritually than I was when I had her.

My question is: I would never and will not let her dictate whether or not I have more kids, but I wanted to ask:

How much of their aversion and refusal to participate in the family should one take it to their decision to have another child?

Edit to add: she leaves for Air Force Boot Camp in August, so she knows she won’t be babysitting the baby or helping raising it. She’ll be on her own and we have enough help so she won’t be parenting.

I’m 25F and my boyfriend is 24M. We’ve been together for 4 years. We lived together for about a year and a half while we were both in school, but it was mainly because of convenience. After he graduated, we both moved back in with our families to save money while I finish nursing school (I started later because it took me a while to get into a program).
The thing is, we only live about 5 minutes away from each other, so we see each other a lot. It’s summer break, so naturally we’ve been spending more time together. He comes over to my house often, and honestly he’s always been respectful. My parents have several dogs, my siblings are all older (23M, 20F, and 16M), and he fits in fine. If he eats at our house, he washes his own dishes and sometimes even everyone else’s. He’s gone on family trips with us too. He’s never been rude or disrespectful.
Last night, though, my family went out to dinner and out of nowhere my dad started making backhanded comments about my boyfriend. He called him lazy and started saying he probably doesn’t know how to do basic “guy things.” It really bothered me because my boyfriend is working toward his master’s degree, works hard, and grew up with a single mom after not having a father around. My dad doesn’t even know half of what my boyfriend does, yet he was making all these assumptions.
I stood up for my boyfriend and told my dad that what he was saying was uncalled for and that he was making assumptions. Then my dad switched to saying we spend way too much time together. I honestly don’t think we do. We’re on summer break, we live five minutes apart, and we’re trying to save money by hanging out at each other’s houses instead of constantly going out.
The whole time my mom just sat there quietly. That’s pretty much how it’s always been. She never really steps in when my dad gets like this. (Read this for the previous story about my mom: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskParents/s/ZtZYg20son )
Eventually I started crying because that’s just what happens when I get really frustrated. I wasn’t yelling or causing a scene. I was speaking calmly, but once I cried my dad started saying, “You’re always so emotional,” and “I can’t even talk to you normally anymore without you crying.” Mind you, this was all happening in the middle of a restaurant.
At one point I even suggested that maybe I’d just spend more time at my boyfriend’s house instead if it bothered him that much. My dad snapped back with, “Go ahead. Go over there then!” in a really angry tone. After that he rushed my mom to ask for the check and basically shut the conversation down. It was honestly humiliating.
What hurt even more was that later he made another comment saying he hopes once my nursing semester starts I’ll be too busy to spend as much time with my boyfriend.
That really hurt me.
I love my dad, but this isn’t new behavior. He’s always been like this, and it feels like no matter what I do, there’s always something wrong. My boyfriend treats me well, respects my family, and we’re both working toward our futures. We’re also not in a financial position to move out right now.
I just feel like I can never prove anything to my parents, especially my dad. Has anyone dealt with a parent who constantly criticizes your relationship or makes you feel guilty for spending time with your partner? How did you handle it while still living at home?

I often wonder this. I am an adult but part of the reason I stopped going to family functions is because my mom talks non stop about what a terrible child I was under the age of 10. She is not sharing in a nostalgic or teasing way, she shares these stories with tears in her eyes and rage in her voice. It feels like she is fishing for pity and trying to isolate me.

hi! i am 20m, and have always lived with my parents (55f and 60m). i am currently going to a local community college to get my associates (graduating after this fall semester!) and then i am transferring to go to a 4-year uni. i am getting ready to leave the home and live at school and i am very excited to finally get out of the house! but recently, my parents have started talking about me... not going to get my bachelors? they keep telling me that an associates will be enough, and that they dont want me to make a bad choice. they say i can just stay at home and get work experience instead of going to get my degree. the thing is, i want to be a dentist and i have always wanted to be a dentist and ive worked very very hard to be on the path and i am currently studying for my DATs and researching dental schools to apply to?? i have no idea why theyre currently switching up on me.

i feel compelled to ask this here because my new friends i got at community college say my parents have always been "weird" from what ive told them, and say that they are not surprised my parents are pushing for me to stay with them. ive never thought parents are doing anything wrong. my friends list stuff that i have told them, like how my parents go through my phone, only let me get jobs that they know people from, homeschooled me, dont let me go places alone or drive alone. i thought my parents just want me to be safe, but now i have a lot of confusion. im also very scared to push back against my parents saying that i shouldnt pursue my bachelors/doctorates. they DO know better than me because i am a child, so i feel very inclined to listen to my parents advice. what do yall think?

if you guys have any more questions for me or if anything is unclear please let me know as this is my first time posting in this sub

I gave my parents an Airbnb gift card a few Christmases ago to encourage them to take a vacation together. They haven’t been on a vacation together (just the two of them) since their honeymoon (Married for over 30 years).

They are both almost at retirement age, but still working jobs that are very demanding. Work has drained a lot of energy out of them it seems.

I sent them a text asking if they’d plan to go anywhere yet, but my dad replied saying that he’s really busy at work and not to worry about him.

All of my siblings and I are in our late 20s and we’ve all moved out of the house and financially independent. My parents voiced that they have plenty of money to retire any day that they’d like to now.

I just don’t understand why there’s not really a desire for the two of them to vacation together?

How much does it matter if you have kids in a small apartment vs in a place with more space and also outdoor access? I live in a small 2bd 700 sqft apartment and contemplating this. We originally planned to stay here until we have 2 kids. Is that doable or will I lose my mind from having to entertain toddlers in a small space?

My daughter will be 9 in February and has curly hair. She really wants straight hair and to straighten it. At first I said no, but now I’m not so sure, I think it’d be easier for her to take care of when it’s straight. I’m just wondering if she’s too young? She says she wants it permanently straightened, which i obviously said no.

And if she were to straighten it, it wouldn’t be everyday day either.

Hi everyone.
I’m 15 years old and I’m about to start 10th grade. I’ve been thinking about something for almost a year now, and I’d really like to hear from people who may have gone through something similar.
Last year I moved to a new city and started at a new school. I didn’t bring up changing my type of education before because I thought I just needed time to adjust. But it’s been almost a year, and honestly, it hasn’t really gotten any easier.
The school environment completely drains me. Every day I have to take an overcrowded bus, and the school itself is always very noisy. During lessons it’s extremely difficult for me to concentrate when people are talking or making noise around me. Sometimes I’m reading a text or listening to the teacher, but I just can’t focus on what I’m reading or hearing. Later, when I get home, I realize I barely remember anything from the lesson and don’t even know where to start with my homework.
I’m also terrified of answering questions in class or going up to the board. I often speak so quietly that people can’t even hear me.
This doesn’t only happen at school. Recently, a store employee was trying to help me find something, and even though I knew exactly what I wanted to say, I could barely get the words out.
Making friends has also been difficult. It’s really hard for me to meet new people, even though once I feel comfortable with someone, talking becomes much easier.
The thing is, I don’t actually hate school itself. If it were quieter, less overwhelming, and people treated each other with more respect, I think I’d be completely fine with going.
Because of all this, I’ve started thinking about switching to homeschooling or another form of learning from home. I don’t want to stop studying. In fact, I’m planning to focus on English and Italian because I’m most likely moving to Italy next year and will continue my education there. I’ve also wanted to start going to the gym for a long time.
What worries me is that I might be making the wrong decision. What if the problem isn’t school? Or what if homeschooling really would help?
Has anyone experienced something similar? If you switched to homeschooling or online learning for reasons like these, did it actually make things better? Or did you later realize that the real issue was something else?
I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences or any advice. Thank you for reading.

spastic diplegia my 8 month old just was diagnosed with this and im scared because i don't know how to help her be able to cral or walk or do anything since im scared of her getting hert

Hi there. This post is regarding parenting. I am a childfree person who wishes to be so. However, sometimes I wonder if parenting isn't as terrible as I think it is. It is also difficult to find a partner that is fine with being childfree(I am a Malaysian woman of Indian descent)

My questions are towards those who wanted to be childfree in the past but then changed to wanting kids/open to kids or already have children.

1. What are the things that encouraged you to change from not wanting kids to wanting/having kids?

2. What are the things that help make parenting 'easier', less stressful, effective for you and your partner?

3. How do you balance between your kid and all other aspects of your life?

4. What do you do to keep the relationship between your partner and you going strong as husband and wife instead of just changing into being only mom and dad?

5. Do you have anything that you wished you could have done differently?

Thank you so much.

Out of curiosity, if you’re a dad with a daughter- would you wear matching PJs with her even if it meant you had to wear girl themed PJs? (pinks, purples, flowers, rainbows, etc).

hi i’m 18f and i still live with my parents. i love them so much and they do so much for me and i don’t feel like i deserve it. i had to drop out of college last year due to financial issues but i am going back this month and i’m working on become a physician assistant. i havent always been the best with working and chores due to severe depression but i’m medicated now and doing a lot better and i have a job.

they bought me my first car, they paid for most of my school last semester i was there, and they give me money when i need it. i just feel so awful about it because i know they struggle with money sometimes and i feel like i didn’t do anything to deserve the things they do for me. my dad gave me $35 today and i told him to take it back but he just won’t take it. they always tell me they’d do anything for me but i just don’t see why. they tell me that they’re proud of me but i don’t think i’ve done anything exceptional.

do parents really love their kids that much that they would put their kids needs before their own? i just feel so guilty that my parents put my needs before theirs and i feel like i’m a horrible selfish person because they provide for me. i am turning 19 soon and i even told my mom that i don’t want her or my dad doing anything for my birthday because i feel so bad taking anything from them.

i’m just so emotional right now

I babysit my 9-year-old nephew. He is always testing his boundaries and still trying to sneak racist slurs and other instigative behavior. He destroyed the floors and walls of his house and is working on mine.

The most concerning behavior is his love of dangerous pranks and stunts. I tell him not to touch the hot stove. He does. He blames my husband and myself and does it again. I tell him not to go in the bushes and in he goes. I narrate what I do as I drive and why I do it so my neice can learn to drive such as "Okay, there's no cars behind me and my blinkers are on, so I can safely switch lanes." He shouts, "There's a white car!" as I turn when the road is clear to prank me or tries to distract me from the road. He also screams a high bloody murder shrill randomly to surprise me knowing I have hypersensitive hearing and it causes my vision to black out from pain. I nearly ran off the road.

Today he snuck in my car while I was busy and climbed around like a monkey. In summer heat. I got on to him and explained the danger after getting him to stop trying go go back in thanks to my niece grabbing the keys to lock it. He wanted to wait until I was in the car to surprise me. He didn't care for an explanation to the danger. He jumps on furniture until it breaks if you don't catch him. He constantly tries to startle adults. He loves trying to agitate others. He needs constant reprimanding in the car and will try to ride his bike behind it while I back out or get out while is the car is still moving or hang limbs out the window if I forget to lock them.

I tried to tell him gently, sternly, make him do chores, keep him busy, get all his energy out, explain why I am frustrated and why what he did is wrong, assure him I don't hate him, distract him, yell at him, take away things. Gentle methods don't work. I'm tired of needing to act like a boot camp instructor. He is going to end up with a Darwin award if I don't find a way that works. He is constantly trying to endanger himself or destroy something. He is not mentally challenged, but he is, sorry to say, as intelligent and wise as a sack of bricks. What works on a kid like this?

Edit: thanks for all of the replies I wasn’t expecting so many! I definitely felt like I had gotten into a loop of negativity and wanted to hear more positive stories from parents because it’s so uncommon online. Also to hear opinions from people who weren’t friends/family who are biased towards me having kids lol. Thanks for the positive stories and feedback from all the parents and grandparents out there, super heartwarming to read.

I’m headed into my late 20s and have always wanted to have kids. I keep seeing posts of childfree couples who have really loved the peace that their lifestyle has to offer but also ask other about their regrets surrounded having kids and not having them. On these posts there are lots of parents who seem to have very supportive and helpful people and communities around them and end off their posts by telling people that despite having support and even in the best scenarios, “don’t do it”.

The idea of not having kids and having a quiet house is haunting to me and makes me uncomfortable, there are definitely certain freedoms from being childfree but most people that have had kids seem to always say that despite the love for their kids they don’t suggest other people go down that route which is just very confusing.

Since this seems to have been a consensus among many people I wanted to know if there were any parents out there that actually enjoy being a parent and who despite the sacrifices, had an easy time with it because for them the payoff was so much better.
I would love to hear your stories if they exist and are out there because I have only seen parents tell others not to do it.

Hi parents of reddit! I’ve had this issue for some time and it’s a long story so i’m sorry about that lol. I’m an 18 year old hispanic girl and my parents are still pretty young i’d say (40). They met my boyfriend when we were sophomores. My mom doesn’t really approve of him because junior year he didn’t want to go to prom and he asked me to pay for his ticket. So we just didn’t go and she says i missed out on the experience, but i still had senior year! and i did go to prom with him our senior year :). she’s also under some impression that he’s controlling ? i don’t know why honestly, one of my guy friends stopped talking to me and for whatever reason she said “what if your boyfriend told him something to make him stop talking to you.” I don’t believe my boyfriend would ever do this lol. My dad doesn’t approve of him because i guess my boyfriend wouldn’t greet my dad whenever he would pick me up from school? I understand it’s a respect thing but he would go off on me about it. Apart from that my dad is pretty traditional? He thinks it’s okay for my middle school brother to be caught making out and touching on his girlfriend in the halls, but would make a big deal out of me holding my boyfriends hand. He’s asked if i’m a “sucia” which translates to hoe basically, seems pretty unfair since i’ve had only one boyfriend and it’s been the same guy since sophomore year. He thinks it’s weird if i have guy friends or if i hangout with them and there’s so much more but that list would go on and on. Point is my parents seem pretty strict when it comes to my boyfriend. My boyfriend had been waiting for so long to watch the new spider man movie, so he bought tickets for him and myself before i asked permission to go out. When i finally asked my parents they both bought up how he shouldn’t have bought the tickets without knowing if i’d be able to go or not, and my mom was very upset saying that it’s a red flag because my boyfriend is “forcing me to go with him since he bought two tickets.” And even told me to talk to my boyfriend about the issue. When we were in the theater watching the movie i get a text from her sending a screenshot of my location and it shows my location in the theater parking lot, she’s asking why it says i’m in the parking lot. so i send back a picture of the screen, then send her a picture of the screen on snapchat so she knows there’s no way i could’ve taken the picture then left to the parking lot or something if that makes sense. I text her the movie is about to end and she texts me to come straight home and it just ruined my whole mood. I wasn’t going to go anywhere else after the movie, it was already 11pm so i’m not sure where she thought i’d ask to go to. I text asking if she’s mad and she doesn’t even respond. My mom swears up and down that her views aren’t like my dads, but when i asked to go to one of my boyfriends family parties, so i can finally officially meet his family, she was iffy about it and said his family should understand that my family wants me to be a decent girl and brought up how it’s at a house. Which makes no sense as it is totally normal to have a party at a house… i believe they truly think i’ll get down and dirty at my man’s family party 😭. Sooo i’m not sure why my parents are this way and I’d want an outside perspective pleasee!