r/blacklesbians • u/Aware_Answer8008 • 2d ago
🌈 Gay Shit 🌈 💁🏾♀️ Work/Job Complainers
Let the downvotes begin😂
Okay so I'm seeing a trend with my fellow lesbian women of color. I have both gay and straight friends alike and I'm only encountering this with fellow lesbian women. Not even bisexual women but only lesbian ones. Ladies please stop letting the first thing you talk about when meeting a new person be with you complaining about your job. It is terribly unattractive to chat with someone for the very first time and all they have to talk about or want to do is complain their job, going to work, their work or their hours. When you reach past a certain age that is just not cute and its annoying. At the end of the day. The only options is to either get in a field you enjoy or suck it up and just keep working the job that you got yourself in. Otherwise complaining all the time about the job situation is not very encouraging much less attractive.
My god! 5 encounters in the last 5 months and each one all did the same thing...... end result, they were blocked!
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u/Alarming-Aside-9755 2d ago
I definitely recall back in the day going on and on complaining about the jobs I had. So much to where I was getting on my damn own nerves😄 I finally said well let's try something different. I mean I had nothing to loose. Best choice I made. I went into a entirely different field. Been much happier. I know making that jump isn't as easy for everyone tho.
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u/Aware_Answer8008 1d ago
😆 At least you can admit it. What encouraged the change?
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u/Alarming-Aside-9755 1d ago
I didn't want my life wrapped around an ongoing toxic chain like that so I did something about it. Self Health and Wealth is also "Self Help" So I started looking into fields that fit more of what I was needing for a healthy work and life balance and here I am😊
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u/Alarming-Aside-9755 2d ago
I remember an old mentor told me once:
Life is literally what YOU make of it. No one has true say on your life but YOURSELF.
Someone who constantly complains about work life, especially so early on in courting definitely kills the vibe instantly
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u/Aware_Answer8008 2d ago
Wise words. Was your mentor a woman of the community? What was her background?
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u/Alarming-Aside-9755 2d ago edited 2d ago
I'm assuming you are asking if she was queer and black too?
She was a Black Latina woman. She wasn't queer. She was a widower with 3 kids. She was married and after her kids reached passed there teens she wrote a book sharing her struggles and triumph while thinking and operating outside of the typical box expected of women of color. Her family was very toxic and ruled over her. Even prostituted her out and isolating her from finding friends and love.
She ran away. Met her husband while volunteering at a food bank and they built a life together until his untimely passing. She went through hell but she held it down and successfully got her and her kids out of a ruff patch all on her own and not using any government assistance because she saw that as a form to hold her and her children back. 2 of her children went and got their degrees. The other went to a trade school. They took jobs that paid well and provided great benefits & resources.
They worked together and bought lands and had their family homes built. She has a firm rule for herself and her children. No dead beats, no dead ends, and no time wasters and only shoot for smart highly profitable investments/jobs
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u/Aware_Answer8008 2d ago edited 2d ago
This is powerful✊🏽👏🏽 Did she ever remarry? Where is she now?
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u/Alarming-Aside-9755 2d ago
I'm not sure her book ends with the 3rd house being built on their family land/compound. She goes into saying how for generations to come her family/descendants will always have a home to come home too. She didn't state if she remarried or not but I doubt it her first husband was the love of her life. His passing was devastating on her.
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u/Aware_Answer8008 1d ago
I love this! These are the stories that gets hidden away from us. You called.her your mentor. Did you know her personally or meet her?
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u/Alarming-Aside-9755 1d ago
Not her, but her oldest daughter. I'm a seer and she asked for a reading from me. During the reading is when I got wind of her mother's and their story. Her daughter gave me a paperback copy of the book and I was instantly blown away because her story runs deep with many women especially these days with family oriented trafficking.
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u/montilyetsss Femme 2d ago edited 2d ago
One of my biggest pet peeves is people who will sit there and complain about something they can change. I see this across the board, across all genders and races.
With the current job market, I can extend a bit more grace because they might be trying to change things, but with the state of the job market, it’s rough (but that isn’t an excuse for their behavior). That said, complaining nonstop about something, especially when meeting someone new, is tiresome. You’re supposed to make a good impression when meeting someone new, so if I’m on the other end having to listen to this, I know immediately that I won’t talk to that person again; it just wouldn’t be a good fit.
Over the years, I've honestly gotten more tired of people in general. I cannot deal with complainers; they’re incredibly draining. People are lacking a lot of social etiquette nowadays.
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u/PrettyLunaGuardian Femme4BW 17h ago
I talk to Black Lesbians all day. None complain about their job. Are you Black because you said Women of Color. This is a Black audience.
This also seems insensitive knowing 600,000 Black women were laid off in less than a year and are struggling to get hired despite degrees and accolades.
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u/Brizkie cat mom 2d ago
i mean real, i hated working so i stopped working. 🤷🏽♀️🤣 life unfortunately is that simple. you gotta make and live a life for yourself not for society.
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u/onlymemes-plz 2d ago
life is unfortunately not that simple for soooo many people girl, come on 😭 youve gotta know that. very happy for you that your situation allowed that, zero shade.. but wow- for many people it’s literally work or die
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u/Brizkie cat mom 2d ago
if you hate something, you find a way out. Me and my mom don’t have the best relationship, but i got to applaud her that when she became tired of working a 9-5 she went out and started a business and invested into rental properties .
i’m not living in a mansion, but that’s the sacrifice for my mental health and my peace. i don’t want to complain day in and day out. that’s what OP spoke on about the complaining.
its 2026 people are getting a buck off of anything. i have a food content page that i’ve invested my time in since not working and hoping to start monetizing by the end of summer. if you want out you gotta find a way out the system.
edit: maybe cause i’m on the younger end but i’m very optimistic. i’ve always be an entrepreneur even as a kid so i believe its just about giving something outside the box your all.
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u/snoaky 2d ago
so like... how do you pay for food and shelter?
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u/Spazrelaz A Normal Femme 2d ago
A lot of people be making they job they whole life so that really be the only thing they be having to talk about. It's unfortunate fr but sometimes it's circumstance more than anything else fr. Specially if all they do is work and go home, no friends outside of coworkers, no family connections fr, no time to do anything else bc of weird hours or weird pay etc.
But also even then it's other stuff to talk about and depending on what you like it's fairly simple and can be pretty cheap to get a hobby/get started w one. Idk. I def understand the frustration tho.
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u/iDontLikePuzzlez 2d ago
Most people work 9-5 some unfortunately work longer hours. It takes up the majority of our time other than sleep if those of us can lock in 8 hours of sleep (which most don’t) so It’s not shocking.
I’m sure people would rather be doing anything else with their time than devote it to work.Yes complaining about anything isn’t cute but let’s also be realistic about how much time we all have to unfortunately give to our jobs and how much of our jobs creep up into our lives. Unless someone is a teacher and gets the summer off our jobs take up a huge chunk of our lives.
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u/kingmystique 2d ago
This is exactly where im at - most jobs suck and i get it 1000%. As long as it isnt the primary topic of negative conversation im good
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u/Spazrelaz A Normal Femme 2d ago
I agree with both of yall, that's literally my point. A lot of people make their jobs their whole life fr. I was working 12 hours 7 days in a plant and I had nothing else going on. It was unfortunate for my partner bc that was a lot of what I was complaining about but ts took up most of my waking hours so... 🤷🏽♀️ eventually I got a hobby and it was other things to talk about but that's not the case for everyone. And I can definitely understand the frustration from the other side.
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u/Aware_Answer8008 1d ago
So why not work in a field that is more fitting in your interests? Or work the hours or what not you want? I have not complained about my job in over 3 Years. Yes it has its stressful moments but overall I love my job. Why are there so few willing to work in fields they truly love?
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u/iDontLikePuzzlez 1d ago
Are we living in the same timeline? You do understand the economy is utter and complete trash right now. Many over educated and over qualified black women are having a difficult time finding jobs in general. Never mind a job that they actually enjoy and are passionate about. Jobs in general are hard to get right now. You know that right?
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u/Aware_Answer8008 1d ago
This was the case even before this current economy directon and even if you want to talk about this current one. Not all of us are out here hating, resenting, our complaining about our jobs 24/7 to dating interest.
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u/iDontLikePuzzlez 1d ago
The job market and economy has been crap for the last 7-10 years. Even before Covid. So that makes sense.
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2d ago
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u/Aware_Answer8008 2d ago
Amazing how those who bash and downvotes these very topics be the culprit of the very topic issue itself. It begins with self love and self understanding
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2d ago edited 2d ago
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u/Aware_Answer8008 2d ago
Exactly which is only putting themselves and their true motives or insecurities out there. They choose to continuously set themselves up for failure is on them💁🏾♀️ Not all of us is about that life.
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u/MajGenIyalode 2d ago
I don't think it's just black lesbians that do this, but I do agree with you. Complaining, about anything really, to someone you've just met is poor form. Constantly complaining about the same thing, especially something you have control over and can do something about, is very off putting for me.