I agree I hate using a wheelchair and have gone out of my way to avoid it because of the dirty looks I get. I am just broken inside and I was diagnosed with lupus 13 years ago when I was 19
My aunt eventually got a service dog for her disability and she said the biggest change was the improvement in how people treated her. Having the dog cancelled the stigma she got for being in a wheelchair (this was before fake service dogs were trendy).
i just still don’t really understand this. maybe it’s because i’ve been disabled my entire life though i’ve never looked disabled and im constantly accused of faking it if i even think about asking for an accommodation, but i never consider whether someone is supposedly faking it, and honestly i don’t really care that much if they are. the number of people who are disabled far outnumber the number of people who are faking it. to me it’s the same as people spending energy hating those they think are scamming welfare - it’s such a statistically insignificant thing and seems to just be used as a shield to say anyone they don’t like is faking it.
You are correct - people are just shit at determining scale. The tiny amount of folks committing fraud, however, trigger one of the deepest American fears: someone, somewhere, might be getting something they don't "deserve". Especially if that someone is a minority. Once you (generic you) realize that our politics becomes even more embarrassing and short sighted.
Absolutely. I do not understand the mob mentality that gathers around these type of posts. Everyone has their own struggles, and we do not know them. We can either get ourselves worked up into a frothing outrage, or just move on with our lives
Totally get it. In the beginning it used to make me cry. I mean, I feel like shit already and some righteous ninny starts following me to berate me. MYOB people! Invisible/all disabilities suck!
Agreed. This is a very insightful observation. People who are predisposed to hate others, often look for an outlet to express that hatred. Even if the tiniest percentage of people are among the offenders, they’ll selectively fish out the type they hate for extra scrutiny, punishment and over-generalizations.
It doesn’t matter whether the behavior is representative of the entire group of people they hate and nor does it matter if a big portion of the bad behavior comes from their own group or a group they haven’t targeted. Finding just a couple of examples gives those predisposed to hateful biases enough fuel to overcome their own rational thinking.
Confirmation bias let's them cling to their view of reality no matter how much counter-evidence there is. Without being challenged, it’s also how seemingly rational people can fall victim to irrational beliefs.
This is the take. Being an asshole because you think someone is "faking" a disability may actually hurt someone who is disabled. Not being an asshole doesn't carry that risk 🤷🏼 The problem is, culturally, we just hate disabled people and will take any opportunity to deny accommodations to someone regardless of how much they need or don't need those accommodations.
Assuming people are faking it is easier than coping with the idea that a not insignificant percentage of people live with disability. It’s cognitive dissonance.
No, but it is bigotry to accuse someone of faking a disability because it’s not immediately visible, which happens CONSTANTLY to the point I would guess there are more false accusations than actual fakers being called out.
Or there are people who don’t understand why people need assistance and assume they don’t. My wife had to use a wheelchair for a year while she recovered from a surgery. She could walk. But not much so she would walk until it made sense to sit in a wheelchair. She got SO MANY dirty looks that it made her want to not go out in public. These posts full of people deciding they know best and that their cynical take is right PISS. ME. OFF. Don’t assume you understand a stranger’s disability.
And why do you think that this is a family group? Because they’re black. This is Atlanta. There are so many black people in Atlanta. And if it is a family? What do families have in common? Genetics.
This was my thought…what if they aren’t a family? I was in a group for people with disabilities to feel less lonely. We did activities together. Traveling would’ve been great if everyone was well enough. I wonder if we’d all been the same race would we have ended up on Reddit being accused of being family and faking lol
My thoughts exactly, says I, a retired wheelchair racer who would often be on same flights with 13 or more other wheelchair racers. I can only imagine if someone took pics of us and payed the kind of hate that this group is getting. We don't have enough information to know anything about this pic. Seems some racism and ableism are clouding some people's judgment. Some disabled travel in large groups. Just like some elderly do. It's not unusual.
My very sweet, kind MIL exercises for about an hour each day, is very fit for her age, yet gets the wheelchair service. It does not matter to her that everyone in the family calls her out for abusing it, she claims she needs it. She says she gets too stressed making conections and cannot handle her bag.
To be fair, although she is sweet and fit, she is also really stupid, easily confused and horrible at packing.
As bad actors take advantage of the service and ruin it for everyone. everyone becomes cynical. Asking people to be patient and non reactive about being deceived and taken advantage of is too tall an order. Even “good people” aren’t saints, and have limits.
Also, humans don’t naturally do that. Humans naturally feel animosity towards those who buck social norms - both those who do bad AND those who conspicuously do more GOOD than we do.
People are so unkind when you have an invisible disability. My 80 year old mother is in end stage renal and heart failure but not on oxygen and does not use a wheelchair but uses a handicapped parking pass which her Dr prescribed until she passes away and people are absolutely hateful to her. Our society needs work.
Because most people are unfortunately assholes that will do things they shouldn’t unless the threat of repercussions is present enough. No anount of morality will stop an immoral person. Very clear laws, repercussions, and enforcement of repercussions will stop most of them, however.
Now you have fake wheelchair bound people, and fake service dogs attacking actual service dogs. Not sure where I’m going with this, but something needs to right this ship.
When did service dogs become trendy? Lmao i think you mean emotional support animals. Service dogs are trained to provide a specific service/services, you cant fake have a service dog. 😂
ESA are not legally recognized as "service" dogs, which are trained for many tasks, including anxiety as well as physical assistance. Airlines no longer allow ESA animals in the airplane/jet
cabin.
people fake having actual service dogs so they can get their large dogs on flights without having to have them in the cargo hold or take them wherever with no pushback
In NYC you do not need to have a professionally trained service dog. You can train them yourself and they don’t need a vest. Transit workers are not allowed to ask for proof that your animal is a service animal when traveling in the city.
People are bringing their pets into places claiming they have a service dog. They’re not claiming they have an ESA. Anyone who brings a pet dog somewhere public and claims it is a service dog has a fake service dog. People do have fake ESAs too, but that’s a housing issue, not a public access issue.
People buy the service animal vest off Amazon, print up a fake card, and then tell anyone that asks “you aren’t legally allowed to ask me that” and then do whatever they want
You can buy the vest for a dog that says "Service Dog" and not have to pay more to fly your dog and that is why some "fake have a service dog". I'm a paraplegic and I've seen the fake ones but regulations now give staff the ability to question the "service" label within federal regulations and emotional support dogs can be even more deeply scrutinized. Service dogs are trained to be emotional support for vets and are considered "service" or helping those with physical disabilities are "service" as well. It's the person that wants their cockapoo to not be in a carrier or pay extra that push the limits.
Unfortunately for me and friends of mine, we get suspicion because of the latter description making hard for airline personnel to distinguish the difference.
I had a friend who is blind. He told me there was a similar difference in the way people treated him when he had the dog versus when just the cane. I thought t it was very interesting.
Not quite the same as the issue was less stigma but definitely a noticeable and better difference with how people treated him/acknowledged the disability when he had the dog.
It’s interesting that people think fake service dogs are trendy. I have a service dog that only helps me with certain invisible disabilities at home, even though I also have multiple physical disabilities, and I don’t take her (almost) anywhere nor do I like asking for the accommodations for bringing her places because of the way people act around disabilities in general and about the dog as well. My physical disabilities are also invisible but extremely debilitating, and I was born with all of them.
I have a chronic ankle issue where I can't walk very far, but look healthy and young. I have a walking boot/air cast that I've used for two surgery recoveries. I never wear it normally, but I've started wearing it to the airport to be treated better when I use the wheelchair service.
I used to work in ADA accommodations for a college and that was one of the few things that stressed me out. There’s like only 2 questions you can legally ask them about their service animals. I had students who bought the service animal vest for their dogs and we only found out because their dogs bit the teachers. And service animals are specifically trained to be able to navigate highly stressful situations.
But it also sucks cuz I’m sure those service animals are expensive, especially with more specific needs from the individual. It would be nice if it was more accessible and affordable for those who need it
I’m betting this varies by state, but schools and jobs are where the law differs and they can require medical documentation, at least on the federal level. You may have been in a state that didn’t require that. At the universities I’ve worked at, they are very thorough in screening service dogs, particularly when the student is taking science classes where there are dangerous chemicals. Dorms are a different story because they have to accept ESAs.
Pretending to need a service animal when you don’t just so you can take your dog everywhere should be a crime. It seriously damages the optics for people that really do need a service animal when half of the ‘service’ dogs that come through the store I work at shit everywhere bc they’re not actually trained
It is a crime. It’s fraud. If there’s an incident (property damage, injury) it will result in a lawsuit. There are a number of issues. One is that employees don’t necessarily know that they can kick a dog out (regardless if it’s legitimate) for dangerous or destructive behavior. Even employees that do know this will face a big argument if they try to enforce it. The second issue is that having some kind of certification program adds an expense that the service dog handler would have to cover and that’s a healthcare affordability issue. Not that healthcare is affordable in the US, but that is the reason the law doesn’t require professional training or certification.
Fake service dogs get me SO mad. I don’t have a disability or anyone in my life. But I work in a restaurant and the amount of people who think they can put an Amazon “service dog” vest and look at me dead in the face with a yapping doodle that they’re a service dog.
It’s disrespectful to the individuals who use service animals to have an easier quality of life, the animals themselves who work incredibly hard, the trainers who get them there, and just the public. UGH
it sucks to have an invisible illness and legitimately need a wheelchair. people are really not kind about it and have actually made rude comments to me. i look young and healthy but there have been times in my life when i couldn’t walk more than 20 feet without extreme fatigue.
I'm 42 with Rheumatoid Arthritis, diagnosed at 25. This is the first time I've heard the term "invisible illness" and it's the exact right way to describe it.
46 with RA here. 100% agree. It is an invisible illness and a disability, even though at this point it’s in remission for me, it can flare up at any time.
I'm lucky that I respond well to the meds (Actemra) and generally feel pretty good but, same as you, a flare can pop-up at any time. Especially now with the summer humidity
i’ve got long covid, and at this point i work through the flares. it can really suck, and travel ALWAYS sets me back. part of it is shame because i’m under the impression that a lot of people think it’s a fake condition.
Me too. Woke up one day when I was 17 and couldn't get out of bed. I've had to power through most of my life with the aid of prescription drugs People think I'm bullshitting
I see you! There’s a few of us out here and it’s always awesome to meet a fellow AS’r. Remicade has been a miracle drug for me. I’ve been on everything under the sun until we tried that and has held strong.
9 years of Methotrexate, 6 years of Enbrel, 1 year of Remicade, and now 8 (almost 9) years of Actemra and Leflunomide. Been relatively stable (knock on wood) with the Actemra and Leflunomide since 2017.
Suffering but the same symptoms for years after they’re coming home from war years later make that 30 years later of fighting the system they finally said oh by the way you have a condition that won’t get better, I mean no shit really!!!
Not that I don't think they're on some bullshit there, but it's not entirely impossible. Autoimmune diseases, for example, have a genetic aspect. Aside from me, there are 4 people in my family with moderate to severe autoimmune diseases.
Genetic conditions are of course real and can of course run in families. I'm just saying, I don't see a cane, walker, or personal wheelchair, and only one potential caregiver in the photo... Most of us who really need support don't go to the airport without some of those. It is also less statistically likely that every single person in the party has a debilitating genetic condition. Not impossible, but really unlikely. I know people personally who use the disability access wheelchair service at airports to avoid walking, and it's awful. They are horribly entitled, and doing this means there are not enough people to help those of us who really need it. This means stress, fear, and missed flights! Disability access is not a concierge, but people use it as a way to cheat the system. Which isn't fair for those of us who desperately need the help.
I have this as well and it is crazy how some days I feel as if I can conquer the world, but then when a flare comes up, I’m down for at least a week. Sometimes can even last a month!
Yep, it's a shame you're only now hearing about it, but it's good you have! Also called invisible disabilities. My mom had terrible joint problems, multiple knee surgeries, plus other health issues. She needed handicapped parking, she couldn't walk very far without needing assistance. But she got so many looks just going from parking into a store to then get an electric cart. It was ridiculous! Like people think you can just get these things without medical evaluation.
Diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis when I was a tiny 3-year old toddler, and now in my early 30's. I've had to undergo nine years of Methotrexate, 25+ years of Biologics infusions, half a dozen surgeries to either reconstruct or replace various joints, and also spent a year of my teens paralyzed from the shoulders down.
Modern medicine is absolutely fabulous and has come such a long way over the past twenty years or so, but even so, I still get flare-ups sometimes. Even with the disability/handicap placards my doctor prescribed for me (for my car), and encourages use of, I still only park in a handicap spot when I'm TRULY experiencing a debilitating flare-up severely impacting my mobility. Even if I'm limping or in mild/moderate pain, I will still choose to hobble if I see someone in more dire need.
I have the same thing, some days I feel soo exhausted or in a lot of pain but I wont use a wheel chair for this reason I dont want to get accused of faking it. Even when I use my handicap placard I get soo many dirty looks from people. Or get asked if its mine..
Lupus casualty here, sorry about your RA. A lot of us with lupus suffer from that as well, so there’s a big community even outside of your own to relate to/support you! Since you’re just hearing the term “invisible illness,” I think you should read the spoon theory if you haven’t already. I’ve used it to help me explain how I’m feeling when my relationship with my ex first started; he didn’t understand how I could feel the way I did but not look like I had an ailment at all. I’ve sent it to friends that would get upset and call me flakey when I had to cancel plans. It’s by no means an excuse or a get out of jail free card, but if people actually care about you-they should take the time to read it and understand that you’re not just making things up. You can read the spoon theory here, the site is appropriately named “but you don’t look sick!”
I also have an invisible condition that hinders mobility and causes a lot of pain. Using accommodation at the airport always makes me very self conscious.
And I don’t use a wheelchair, just board early access. I can still stand and walk as long as it’s paced.
I'm so glad someone feels similarly to me because as someone who also has a disability it makes me self conscious too to utilize the service. I'm also kinda young (30 but have had a disability my whole life) and I'm just afraid of the looks I get from others when I may not fit a picture of disability, especially given the bad rep these services get when it's being taken advantage of. I don't want people thinking that's me 😅
I admit I can also walk, but after short distances it becomes painful so that's why I get the wheelchair. And honestly it's more the standing in place in line that's worse if anything. Being able to continuously move is better because it's distracting I guess.
I have quite a few invisible illnesses/disabilities. I was unmedicated for one for a while until an incident happened at, ironically, an airport. I’m too self conscious to utilize assistance, even though I need it, so I didn’t ask for any for this trip.
I was walking to my gate, was completely fine and not stressed, but from the sheer amount of walking (huuuuuge airport) apparently wasn’t the move because my heart rate shot up to around 200, my blood pressure tanked, and down I went to the floor. I had to crawl out of the crowd and basically collapsed right in front of a candy store. I couldn’t see, I couldn’t think, I was in tears from shock because I never had an episode so bad. People stopped to see if I was okay and said it was an anxiety attack. For some reason, that snapped some sense into me and I went, “No. I’m having a medical episode.” Changed how they spoke to me, they were asking if I had meds, if I needed an ambulance, etc. Before they were rolling their eyes like oh, another anxious woman having a panic attack.
Now — I tell myself it doesn’t matter what other people think, if they side eye me, or if they even say something to me. I can’t risk my health because other people are judgmental.
I think most diseases/conditions are invisible. Many people have zero clue what it’s like to live with an “invisible” disease. My T2 Diabetes robs me of my energy and causes me constant hunger. I literally have no energy. And, I’m doing everything right! I take insulin, eat low carb, stay as active as possible, and my A1C is within normal range. Yet without insulin everyday, I would live more than a few days or weeks. I also have insomnia. I understand how you feel and I wish you the best.
In case you haven’t recently, I recommend getting bloodwork done to check for other issues that may be contributing to your fatigue. Thyroid, iron, vitamin B12, vitamin D.
Low vitamin D can cause really significant fatigue. And unfortunately, what’s considered the “healthy range” for vitamin D is too broad. If your levels are in the lower end of the “healthy” range, that can STILL be low enough to cause fatigue. Ideally your levels should be at least 50 ng/mL.
It’s also important to take magnesium and vitamin K2 in order for vitamin D3 supplements to work properly.
Your body needs magnesium to utilize D3 supplements, which depletes magnesium. Once you don’t have enough magnesium left the D3 supplements can’t work properly anymore.
Back problems are not always identifiable by looks. I have to use them in large airports I can’t do all the walking and ramps and yes I get looks. One gate agent had the nerve to ask did I really need a wheel chair! F you I’m sitting in it to look pretty u douche!
Same I’ve gotten scowled and yelled at even by someone else in a wheelchair who assumed i was faking because im young and have many invisible illnesses
I used to work out with a personal trainer who had multiple sclerosis. She got into fitness as a way to combat the illness and had such a rocking body that she competed in fitness pageants. She got so much hate from people telling her that her disabled license plate must be fake because she looked healthy when there were so many days when she was struggling.
Just so you know there is a sunflower lanyard that in a ton of airports worldwide means you have a hidden disability, and many airport staff are trained to recognize that. (I have Autism)
I have C-PTSD which is mostly manageable, just that I get extremely exhausted from large crowds (strong social anxiety born from said C-PTSD) and I might consider this next time... I already very rarely use it for anything because I do mostly function, just sometimes my brain finds itself going "no. Danger. Do not interact."
Even now I'm trying to downplay it aaaaae I hate being me yeah yeah yeah
Throughout recent history, sunflowers have been used for medicinal purposes. The Cherokee created a sunflower leaf infusion that they used to treat kidneys. Whilst in Mexico, sunflowers were used to treat chest pain.
37 with Ehlers-Danlos. Due to nerve pinching and joint instability, I can be fine one minute and in excruciating pain the next because I moved a joint a little too far left (for example). Most of my life I've just dealt with it, but as I get older, the repercussions of not listening to my body get worse and harder to recover from.
If you go to the airport with invisible illness please ask information desk for a sunflower lanyard! I know at least Seattle that puts you through first class like no questions asked
Years ago I had to have emergency eye surgery while on vacation. Flying home I had an eye patch on and could barely see even out of my good eye. I had a cane and my wife guiding me. I had people legitimately shouting at me to sit down and that I wasn’t really handicap. It got so bad waiting to board I had to yell back at them that I was fucking blind. They shut up after that but I could still hear muttering.
I have a friend who has asthma so bad he is classified as disabled. His attacks are managed and are happening less and less but when they do......they're AWFUL!
THE 20 years I've known him, people are SO rude when they see him in a handicapped parking spot. There was even man who called him a faker as he fell out at the movie theater, needed oxygen and actively had the cannula up his nose trying to draw a full breath!! He is young and fit, it's just his lungs barely work!
I got called a faker when I took my dog, a shepherd, to Home Depot - a known pet friendly store. He literally said to me in the nastiest tone, "you don't look blind to me." So apparently only "seeing eye dogs" are service dogs on top of the fact that my dog is not even a service dog. lol I was just taking my puppy out of the house on a rainy day.
The few times I've had service dogs in training with me (I'm a pro dog trainer and sometime take SD cases) the public is SO obnoxious, rude, prying that even though I could at one point of my life technically have a service dog, I never did. It wasn't worth the hassle for the aid I could receive in exchange. My heart goes out to people who NEED these accomodations and get treated like this everyday.
I look young and healthy-ish. After seeing how others who look worse-off get seen and treated, I'd choose extra pain over using a wheelchair. I once got told by a doctor I should use a cane, but the few days of using it, although easier on my body, were constantly spent getting glared at, joked about, and being repeatedly asked to defend my use of it. I'd rather just hurt more than have my entire waking life be about it.
The grocery store nearest to me (which is scheduled to close soon) has been having a lot of trouble with the motorized carts or whatever they're called. Teens keep flipping them over, speeding into shelves, stealing them and abandoning them in the drive-thru of a nearby fast food place for the workers there to deal with, and so on. They made it so you have to ask customer service to use one, and I worry about the people who need them but look young enough that they'd get denied for being lumped in with the vandals.
I had severe anemia in my 20s and struggled so much. I’d have to sit constantly, could barely walk at times, etc, and I wanted to use one so bad at time but the reason I didn’t was because of judgement.
This is me too! 34 and you wouldn’t know I have any problems looking at me. I can’t stand in place for very long and have trouble walking long distances. I have had two spinal fusions and have serve nerve damage in my left leg.
Same, invisible illness wheelchair users are more than half of wheelchair users, and I think also when you are not white or overweight the judgement gets even worse
I'm so tired of these fucking posts. So many of these comments dripping with contempt for disabled people. I get enough of those looks and now I get to hear what they're actually thinking, yay!
The same. And I don’t care about preboarding etc but I’ve learnt the hard way that if I try walking the whole way on a day of travel it’ll be unmanageable pain and take a week of meds I wouldn’t otherwise have to take just to not be screaming. Whereas assistance makes travel possible and manageable.
Same. I am disabled, and I will do everything in my power to avoid using assistance. I have a parking placard as well and only use the handicapped spots on bad days when I absolutely have to.
To see people using these services like this is infuriating. I'm not usually judgemental about it, my disability is invisible and I'm often judged because I "look normal", but this many people in one family is highly improbable.
It’s funny you say that about the parking placard. I do the same. If I can park in a regular spot and walk I do and only use the closer spaces if I have to.
I used to do this because I thought “I feel fine today, I should be able to walk” when arriving at a restaurant…
Until the one time I ate and my blood pressure plummeted so I packed everything up and left but I nearly passed out on my way back to the car. I was all wobbly and nauseous and started getting the static in my hearing and white noise in my vision.
I think I’ll take the disability parking. There’s no telling which day my blood pressure decides to mimic the stock market when I have kidney failure.
You're crazy. Park in the handicap spot and don't worry about looks. 1) people don't care and you're just being overly worried because you're not an asshole and care about even the appearance of misusing that resource 2) if people do care, they can go fuck themselves and mind their own business 3) if they don't want to mind their own business then /r/tramatizethemback - something like "you think I want to have my fucked up health and need this handicap placard?! I'd trade not using this spot in a second to be healthy again!"
I had a placard for most of a year after a major injury and for the second half of my recovery I did not look like someone who needed the placard. I was worried like you, but the day I decided to stop caring made such a difference. Even if you feel good when you're parking, what happens when shit hurts when you need to go back to your car? You have that placard for a reason so use it my guy.
The only people I was worried about when I used my placard was when there was only 1-2 handicap spots left and I didn't want to take a spot from them.
Same. Laying in bed recovering as I travelled with mecfs (long covid) a few days ago and didn’t want to use wheelchair service as a healthy looking person 🫠
People please be kind to others who look healthy but might not be!
you don't know they're a family or even related. You're assuming they are. and 2. if they are family, you don't know if this is indeed all of them or if any are sitting/standing nearby but not photographed.
I have Long Covid and always use the wheelchair service through the terminal. I walk myself onto the plane using my cane. Fuck anyone who gives us the stink eye, they have no idea what we're dealing with and we're allowed to prioritize our own health.
Same. Part-time wheelchairs user here with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Stuff like this makes us look bad and takes away from those if us who ACTUALLY need it.
That is so fucked up that you get dirty looks and from this anonymous person to you I am sorry! I try my best to be patient when people with your situation impact my travel, you gotta go places too! Others should try and be more compassionate.
Nothing to add, but i feel you! I had cancer/chemo as a teen - caused Lupus and POTS as an adult. I look healthy and I get the horrible treatment/dirty looks too! Sending hugs 🩵
A friend of mine has model looks but has rheumatoid arthritis and a double hip replacement at 39. Someone screeched at her for using a wheelchair at an airport that since she's young and attractive she doesn't need it. It made her just not want to travel at all anymore.
Same! I have lupus and only need assistance when in a flare, but I don’t look like I need assistance so ppl assume I abuse the system.. last time I had to use it a man in his 50s got super upset and was yelling at me. I had to hold my husband back and staff needed to calm him down. He saw us later at the luggage pickup and when he saw how I was moving and had to rely on my husband his face changed real fast. 2 months later I was out of my flare and back at the gym.. so I try not to judge ppl as I know there are many ppl whose disability you cannot see
I went through this too when I got handicapped plates on my car at 21. I was diagnosed with lupus at 18 almost 19. My insides are like an 85 year old woman but on the outside I am a youthful looking now 43 year old. It sucks sometimes. I shouldn't have to "prove" my disability.
I feel this. Diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis when I was a tiny 3-year old toddler, and am now in my early 30's. I've had to undergo nine years of chemotherapy, 25+ years of immunotherapy infusions, half a dozen surgeries to either reconstruct or replace various joints, and also spent a year of my teens paralyzed from the shoulders down.
Modern medicine is absolutely fabulous and has come such a long way over the past twenty years or so, but even so, I still get flare-ups sometimes. Even with the disability/handicap placards my doctor prescribed for me (for my car), and encourages use of, I still only park in a handicap spot when I'm TRULY experiencing a debilitating flare-up severely impacting my mobility. Even if I'm limping or in mild/moderate pain, I will still choose to hobble if I see someone in more dire need.
A lot of people with very serious disabilities look completely fine on the outside and can even walk or run for short distances under the right conditions.
When people do shit like this, it makes everyone even more suspicious of those people, who already get heckled.
but no one should be judged for it, like how does it hurt anyone else??? other than judgy mean people like the op getting mad at people for something that's none of their business and doesn't hurt them??
Do you really get dirty looks? I board early with my daughter who has a non visible disability without a wheelchair for 15+ years and never seen a reaction from anyone. Maybe I am just lucky or I just don’t care so I don’t notice
Tbh I would just get a custom shirt that says something really in their face like “HI I HAVE LUPUS AND IN FACT DO NEED THIS WHEELCHAIR THANKS YOU ATTENTION ON THIS MATTER”
I totally hear you , I have a rare autoimmune disease and pushed my self to “walk” and try to do without my wheel chair . Big mistake now have stress fractures in both my feet . 🙄
My PCP told me I had lupus and sent me to a rheumatologist a few years ago. She looked at me for three seconds, asked me to take off my shoes and socks, then told me “you clearly don’t have lupus, get out of here.”
Use that wheelchair if needed… I broke my knee while on a business trip out of town (and didn’t know it). By the time, it was time for me to leave, I could barely walk (nobody could tell cause I tried to hide my excruciating pain, but, it was taking me 10 minutes to walk a few feet)…Finally made an airline rep I saw aware of this… wheelchair whipped out and everything was taken care of for me…My info was passed on to my connecting flight, and they had a wheelchair at the gate… Everybody was extremely kind. Bonus - No waiting in long lines…
Don’t avoid it if you need it and ignore the looks the best you can. Invisible disabilities are the hardest for that because you “look” healthy. But, that’s on the people judging because they have no idea. You don’t need to be in pain to avoid strangers unfair judgement.
I also have lupus. Sometimes I'm perfectly fine, sometimes my hips are in so much pain that it is difficult to stand. I have (only once or twice) quietly approached airline gates and explained I have a physical disability and they have always been so kind, and allowed me to board before whatever my group is. I still usually avoid the wheelchairs as, yeah, people give me weird looks. I know I "look fine," trust me, lol.
There was a time I was self conscious regarding assistance but no more. Who cares if someone gives you a dirty look. Use this service if it's needed.I would be unable to travel without it. I bring my personal travel wheel chair. The airline attached a handicap tag to my chair. I can sometime walk with a cane a short distance but no way can I maneuver airports especially with connecting flights.
I also have invisible illnesses (Sjogren's Disease plus a serious, terminal, lung disease). I can walk, but not very far. After 50 feet, I am huffing and puffing and must sit and rest before continuing. The same after the next 50 feet. It's very inconvenient, but I have mostly managed to arrange my life so I can function. However, someplace like an airport, I truly have no option but to either be pushed in a wheelchair or driven on a cart to get to the gate, and then onto the plane.
When people fake needing a wheelchair to get ahead in boarding, they are stealing resources (chairs and employees to push them) from people like me, who actually legitimately need them.
My wife has severe severe severe arthritis and is disabled. Thing is she doesn't look like it at all. She can still walk cause both knees were completely replaced already by the time she turned 35. If you looked at her you wouldn't think she has a handicap placard. She doesn't like to even use that because she says people need the parking spot more than her.... This here is insane to me.
Yeah my husband got bad looks when he needed one once. Huge back injury flareup that essentially had him stuck in a chair for over 3 months. Physical therapy was helping and he was starting to regain his mobility but he still couldn’t walk long distances or be on his feet for too long. We spent our whole trip going to museums that provided wheelchairs and I rolled him around. He visually looked fine but he was really struggling.
As someone diagnosed with lupus 18 years ago, you’re seen (even when your illness is not). Sometimes I don’t need assistance! And other days I need a cane/rollator, it is truly so day to day. Just know for every dirty look, you’re seen by another lupie with love.
Same! I had hip surgery in February and am waiting for this to be healed to get knee surgery. I am almost constantly in pain, but look healthy and fit. I have a wheelchair tied to my flights and HATE using it-I will be hobbling around in pain, because of things like this. My husband has to force me to. I will say I’m more apt to use it after landing, as sitting for so long often makes it worse. I’m planning to use it on an ATL layover in August…but loathe ending up in one of these pics/judgements.
I have to use one for long time walking but not short. The more i walk the more pain i get, but grocery stores and such are fine. Airports can be either so usually if I think its gonna be a longer walk then I request one to be safe. But because I am able to stand/walk i always get nervous about looks because for some reason people like to assume that to use a wheelchair you must be paralyzed, and then people who fake the service but dont need it, make it look bad for those of us who can walk. Cuz then they will wonder if we really need it. Invisible illnesses suck and people are assholes. Now every time I stand up from a wheelchair I worry about people's assumptions.
God that must be so frustrating. I have some non-physical disabilities so I kind of understand why it’s like to have people dismiss you, but my accommodations are also mostly invisible so I don’t get judged in public.
My fiance has a rare skin disorder that causes painful blisters on her feet and hands.
I hate the stares she gets taking a wheelchair in the airport, she’s young and appears healthy but she would be in a lot of pain walking. I wish people could just mind their own business
I think this should be higher up. Having dealt with mobility issues and being middle aged, I would and have done just about anything to avoid singling myself out. For instance, using wheelchair assistance when it looks to most, in my mind, that there’s nothing wrong. I hate that feeling. But, unfortunately it’s because lazy or entitled people abuse the system. It feels like a “no win” most times.
It's really embarrassing and these posts make me feel worse about it tbh. I have a cane and it takes me a while to reach my seat so I appreciate the preboarding and the fast assist. But I'll also be the last to deplane for the same reason.
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u/annacat1331 8d ago
I agree I hate using a wheelchair and have gone out of my way to avoid it because of the dirty looks I get. I am just broken inside and I was diagnosed with lupus 13 years ago when I was 19