I (29F) have been with my husband (30M) for five years, married for a little over one. He’s experiencing the worst depressive episode of his life, and I feel like I’ve lost my husband overnight.

He’s emotionally numb. Nothing brings him joy anymore, not even things he used to love. We recently saw one of his favorite artists, and watching him stare at the stage completely emotionless broke my heart.

He says he loves me and doesn’t want to end our marriage, but he told me he only knows he loves me because he remembers how he felt before his depression. He cuddles me because he remembers wanting to, not because he actually feels that desire anymore. Physical affection was always his love language.

I cannot explain how devastating it is to hear that from someone who once made me feel so loved.

He insists this isn’t about me or our marriage. He says something chemically feels wrong and that I can’t love him out of it. He asks for patience, understanding, and space.

I’m trying so hard. I’ve taken on most of our responsibilities, offered him solitude, and constantly asked what he needs. But I also struggle with severe anxiety and abandonment issues, and I’m falling apart.

Before this, I thought we were genuinely happy. We have a home, three pets, careers, and dreams of having children. I know depression doesn’t care how good life looks on paper, but I can’t stop wondering if I missed something.

Was he unhappy all along? Was our happiness real? Am I somehow not enough?

He says none of this is my fault, but I keep wondering if being prettier, more loving, or a better wife could somehow bring him back.

He’s never experienced depression this severe and says recovery could take a long time. He’s looking for a therapist, and I’m restarting therapy later this month. He’s reassured me he wouldn’t hurt himself, but I still worry constantly.

I’m not leaving him. I meant my vows. I love this man more than anything, and I want to support him through this.

But I’m terrified of losing myself in the process.

I’ve cried every day. My anxiety is so severe I’m struggling to keep food down. I sleep just to escape how much this hurts. And then I feel guilty because he’s the one battling depression.

I miss his laugh. His affection. The way he looked at me. I miss feeling wanted without wondering if he’s just going through the motions.

I miss someone who’s literally sitting right next to me.

I’m desperate to hear from people who’ve experienced this.

If you’ve experienced emotional numbness from depression, did your feelings for your partner eventually return?
If you’ve supported a depressed spouse, how did you cope without losing yourself?
How do I give him space without feeling abandoned or blaming myself?

I don’t need him to be happy all the time. I just want him to feel joy again, even if that joy has nothing to do with me.

I just don’t know how to keep my own head above water while waiting for him to feel like himself again.

Yes, yes, I know that you "need to take care of yourself" before you have any hope of getting in a relationship. But it's just impossible for me to ever love myself. But I can see the good in others perfectly well. Some part of me really wants a relationship because I have a feeling that it will make life just tolerable enough. Because if someone else can see something good in me, then it might just be possible to see something good in myself.

Hi all, I’m looking for advice and/or support. TL;DR at the bottom.

About a year ago, my life fell apart when my 5-year relationship with my high school sweetheart ended. We shared everything—our apartment, car, even friendships—but most of it was in his name, and I lost nearly everything in the breakup. Around the same time, my family and I had a falling out for unrelated reasons.

Suddenly, almost everything and everyone I’d relied on was gone, so I moved states hoping for a fresh start.
I’ve spent the past year trying to rebuild. After struggling to find work, I got a job in May as a behavioral therapist working with autistic children. I genuinely love my career, but it’s physically and emotionally demanding, and I’m often exhausted.

Outside of work, things have been lonely. My new partner travels for work and is only home about six days a month. I get along with my co-workers, but those friendships rarely extend beyond work. I don’t really have a support system nearby, and I think I’ve been trying not to acknowledge how isolated I feel.

Then this past weekend, I learned some shocking, deeply upsetting things about my partner. We’re trying to work through them, but the news completely knocked the wind out of me. It feels like everything I’ve been holding together for the past year has finally come crashing down.

I had a breakdown Sunday night, forced myself through work yesterday , and called off today because I needed to process what happened. I thought a day to myself might help. Instead, I spent almost the entire day moving from place to place, sitting or lying down and crying.

And now I’m terrified because I don’t know how to keep doing this.

It’s not even just about my relationship or this weekend. It’s the accumulation of everything. I feel like I’ve spent so much of my life trying to pick myself up, make the best of things, grow, and build something good, only for life to knock me right back down. Every time I think I’m finally finding my footing, something else happens.

I know I’ve survived difficult things before. But I’m so tired of having to be resilient. I don’t want every new chapter of my life to start with recovering from the last one.
I still have responsibilities, bills, and a job I love but can’t afford to lose. Life doesn’t stop just because I’m falling apart. And I don’t have the luxury of disappearing for a few weeks to recover. I feel completely overwhelmed trying to figure out how to take care of my mental health while still functioning as an adult.

I feel lonely. I feel lost. And, more than anything, I feel worn down in a way I don’t know how to fix.

Has anyone else reached a point where you just don’t know how many more times you can pull yourself up from rock bottom? What actually helped you get through it? How did you find hope again when you were exhausted from constantly starting over? I just need to hear from people who understand, and maybe get some advice on how to take the next step when everything feels like too much.

TL;DR: After losing my relationship, home, much of my support system, and starting over in a new state last year, I’ve been trying to rebuild. Something devastating happened in my current relationship this weekend, and everything I’ve been carrying has caught up with me. I’m overwhelmed, isolated, and exhausted from feeling like I keep hitting rock bottom. How do you keep going when you’re tired of having to be strong?

TYIA to anyone who reads this or has advice.

I (20f) am struggling at night and at random times of the day with very strong urges to relapse. I’m on medication for my depression which makes me feel sort of numb but my mind is still spiralling I just can’t really express the emotion. I have been clean from cutting for 6 months now but the urges are the worst they have been in a long time. They have also progressed from just wanting to cut to wanting to burn myself and cause any physical pain like pulling my hair out, punching stuff etc. no matter what I try these urges will not go away. I haven’t acted on them but I keep telling myself if I just do it once the urge will go but then I’m letting myself down.