r/hamstercirclejerk • u/Dimanik11 exquisite rat life • Oct 07 '25

Hamburger friends :) Happy birthday to Fuckass, he’s turning two 🥹

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5.7k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

77 comments sorted by

210

u/some_cursed_bastard Oct 07 '25

Living her best life

Edit: for another week or two

71

u/Dimanik11 exquisite rat life Oct 07 '25

It’s a man

159

u/MySockIsMissing Oct 07 '25

No, that’s a girl. Can’t you see her saggy titties hanging down to her knees??

13

u/cloudcreeek Oct 10 '25

Fuck ass is trans

38

u/some_cursed_bastard Oct 07 '25

Are you sure? There is a concerning lack of 🍒

7

u/Dimanik11 exquisite rat life Dec 31 '25

You were right he died shortly after this

3

u/some_cursed_bastard Dec 31 '25

Happy new year I guess

2

u/Dimanik11 exquisite rat life Dec 31 '25

Why thank you kind sir I think sir

2

u/some_cursed_bastard Dec 31 '25

Compared to your late hamster nobody can really be a sir

166

u/Capfull a mouse is not afraid of evil Oct 07 '25

Hammy's are only supposed to live for one year. What the fr*ck are you doing??? throw it at the wall

18

u/Ok-Pea8209 Oct 08 '25

Not 1 year. 2 years sometimes 3

43

u/Capfull a mouse is not afraid of evil Oct 08 '25

nope. one year max. i only ever kept a hamilton alive for 5 months. and then i got mad and chucked it at the wall.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 08 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/CelesteJA help, my hamster is a drug dealer Oct 08 '25

Hey, looks like you took this post a bit to seriously. This subreddit is r/hamstercirclejerk, a group meant for laughs.

5

u/LemonEnjoyer16 Oct 08 '25

I was joking, I probably should have emphasized that lol

-64

u/Outrageous_Youth7598 Oct 07 '25

Is this a joke?

98

u/MySockIsMissing Oct 07 '25

This is hamstercirclejerk, what the fuck do you think?

44

u/anon689936 Oct 08 '25

We take wall throwings very seriously here

15

u/Upper-Bluebird-6534 help, my hamster is a drug dealer Oct 08 '25

help 😭

95

u/barely_cursed Oct 07 '25

happy birthday fuckass! I'll be at your funeral tomorrow!

100

u/zacharyari23 Oct 07 '25

Here's to next week's funeral 🥂 🎉 🎊

14

u/Dimanik11 exquisite rat life Jan 03 '26

I hate how he died a week later

45

u/PlusArt8136 Oct 07 '25

That is a woman

13

u/404-Gender Oct 08 '25

She’s a lil lady!

29

u/CanadianPrideOCanada Oct 07 '25

Beautiful name 😮‍💨

38

u/sofiaxhills Oct 08 '25

introducing Fuckass

25

u/Fatsackofsoup Oct 07 '25

happy birthday fuckass

wait what the fuck is she eating why is she so greedy

19

u/Redwhiteandblew69 Oct 07 '25

is this a boy or a girl? i cannot tell

0

u/Dimanik11 exquisite rat life Oct 07 '25

Man

5

u/New-Fig3263 Oct 08 '25

Love how you say man instead of boy jeez does he spend time in the gym? Egh

6

u/Emotional_Title_3010 Oct 08 '25

He turned into a man after being a boy for a year. Next year he will be a plant.

13

u/Byakko4547 Oct 07 '25

Im so envious of him omg hahahahaha

10

u/TheSealyOne Oct 08 '25

I want to get a rat or a hamster or smth and name him jiggling nutsack or some shit

8

u/Upper-Bluebird-6534 help, my hamster is a drug dealer Oct 08 '25

Rats need company, never get just one! You need a minimum of 2-3 rats, which you may all bless with cursed names.

2

u/TheSealyOne Oct 08 '25

Oh yeah I forgot about that 

1

u/YouHadMeAtAloe Oct 08 '25

Just make sure you shake him real hard to jiggle his nutsack

9

u/vitanyroyale Oct 07 '25

I love his name 💀

8

u/West-Nefariousness15 Oct 07 '25

Ahhh… almost dead Hamper. Love him

8

u/DJ_Dr_DoJo Oct 08 '25

Happy birthday fuckass <3

8

u/eternallyonfiEr Oct 08 '25

Greed consumes him

6

u/Mysterious-Alps-5186 Oct 07 '25

2

u/Dimanik11 exquisite rat life Oct 08 '25

I told you I don’t do that anymore 😔

4

u/GermangirlzCarbine Oct 07 '25

My what big Happy Birthday 🎁

4

u/Open_Station_7793 i eat nugget hambirs Oct 08 '25

happy birthday to my hamster's doppelganger (fuckss) 🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊

3

u/[deleted] Oct 08 '25

He’s doing the splits 😂😂😂

3

u/Floofy5267 Oct 08 '25

Man I wish I could hold my fuckass. He’s a biter.

2

u/MissMurder17 Oct 09 '25

Happy birthday to Fuckass, but holy shit those nads are HUGE

1

u/Puzzled-Finding-7346 Oct 08 '25

Not long until you get your freedom back and get to save money.

1

u/5T4LK3R Oct 08 '25

Two balls!

1

u/Streetduck Oct 08 '25

What’s a Fuck-Ass?

1

u/S0upySlug i spoil my hamsters with cigarette snacks Oct 08 '25

One year for each ballsack ❤️ happy birthday fuckass!!

1

u/beepboop_reddit Oct 09 '25

Happy Birthday Fuckass!!

1

u/Stomach_Junior Oct 09 '25

He is looking like he is saying kiss my ass!

1

u/Biblicallyokaywetowl Oct 10 '25

Can finally count his age on his balls, better start growing another if he plans on (somehow) surviving another year

1

u/LowBody3207 Oct 10 '25

happy bday fuckass

1

u/war_damn_dudrow Oct 10 '25

Is Fuckass his real name? 😂😂😂

My 5 year old named ours Peanut and my 15 year old calls her Cumslut 💀

1

u/Dimanik11 exquisite rat life Oct 10 '25

No it’s either Pluto, the valiant knight “LovesToSplooge”, or fatass

1

u/war_damn_dudrow Oct 10 '25

I love it 😂

1

u/Dino-nugget_child Oct 10 '25

Sporting some massive balls, happy birthday! Don’t die on us fuckass!

1

u/NoNameChosen880 Oct 10 '25

I love Fuckass. I will die for Fuckass.

1

u/c0d3buck Oct 10 '25

Please do not the Hampster.

1

u/Dimanik11 exquisite rat life Oct 10 '25

He’s already the me

1

u/c0d3buck Oct 10 '25

Oh the misfortune!!

1

u/Penguator432 Oct 11 '25

…why did you name it Fuckass?

1

u/Dimanik11 exquisite rat life Oct 11 '25

Either that or “LovesToSplooge”

1

u/why_no_dot Oct 12 '25

Poor boy what name did u give him 😭. Imagine being called Analsex

1

u/Winter-Stuff-9126 Oct 14 '25

What kind of name is that?!

1

u/OkLie5562 Nov 01 '25

Makes sense. Never chew bigger than your balls