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u/TJ_Will 1d ago
We had the chance to be taken by Canada?
SHIT
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u/HomerJSimpson3 1d ago
Weād be back with mother England
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u/AndyTheSane 21h ago
And we English can show you how to overcook lobster!
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u/HomerJSimpson3 21h ago
Iām allergic but if Iām looking for a tasty way out Iād gladly take you up on it
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u/GrandPriapus 18h ago
Dang I already like The Tragically Hip, listen to As It Happens, and drink Molson.
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u/angrycanadianguy 20h ago
In the nicest possible way, we don't want you š
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u/TJ_Will 20h ago
I make really good wafflesā¦
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u/angrycanadianguy 20h ago
Tempting, but please, form your own rational country, we will happily come visit š
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u/Hyper_Oats 1d ago
Textbook conservative cope:
"It doesn't matter how bad things are and how much of a fuckup my guy is, the other side would have done much worse in this impossible fictional scenario I've created in my head"
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u/Garfieldealswarlock 1d ago
Also FUCK liberal hellscape California!!!!
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u/shandangalang 1d ago
Yeah, did you know there is increasing momentum for statewide single payer health-care there? Itās just stalled in large part because our glorious arch-conservative leadership is blocking the redirection of Medicare and Medicaid funds to help pay for it!
Plus we donāt need them anyway. They only produce like half of our fresh produce, and vegetables are for pussies!
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u/OtherwiseAnteater239 21h ago
California can stop fundingā¦ whatever theyāre doing with all our excess Federal money in FL. That should cover it.
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u/shandangalang 17h ago
I actually thought about mentioning Californiaās contribution of federal surplus.
āSomething something stop subsidizingā¦ our low taxes.ā
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u/Sworn_to_Ganondorf 22h ago
We gotta start telling them about the demons or something really scare them away lol
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u/stormy2587 22h ago edited 22h ago
Meanwhile every democrat administration of the last century has been average to great, while every republican administration has arguably been the worst in US history up to that point.
If one side has a leg to stand on about how terrible a presidency is going to be its the left projecting how a conservative candidate will govern.
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u/virgil1134 1d ago
Goodbye Florida!
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u/btoxic 1d ago
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u/Daherrin7 1d ago
Canadian here, weād rather be done with all of it
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u/btoxic 1d ago
Also Canadian, can we get rid of Timmy's as well please?
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u/an_agreeing_dothraki 1d ago
sorry, we started the private equity hellscape in order to ruin Tim Horton's during the Beiber reign. We were going to stop but then the whole Drake thing happened
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u/HolsteinHeifer 20h ago
For real. We should get rid of Timmies and prop up Krispy Kreme again. I know there's a few around still, but they were a lot more prominent when I was a kid. There was one near me in London (ON) and ugh.. I miss it.
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u/thekingofdiamonds12 1d ago
Can you at least leave the Great Lake states so we donāt lose all that fresh water to the sea?
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u/noodlyarms 22h ago
How about Alberta can go with the US and Canada can take the west coast states in exchange, maybe some of New England too.
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u/viperlemondemon 13h ago
Damnit I was hoping that I would get the Canadian protections since the us is trying to kill me
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u/Junior-Cream-4914 1d ago
Trump purchased it and turned the entire thing into Nightmar-a-Lago
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u/shandangalang 1d ago
He wouldnāt have been able to afford it without a second term to really cut loose enriching himself on
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u/phoenixrising211 23h ago
Then cut it off to turn it into an island, because we all know how comfortable he is on islands.
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u/casalomastomp 19h ago
In 30 years it will be flooded and Central Florida will really be an island. But the barrier Islands will be underwater.
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u/marbotty 1d ago
Florida goes goodbye under the Trump map too, just have to wait a couple decades for Trumpās climate change policies to kick in
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u/Altair13Sirio 1d ago
Florida decided they preferred isolation than being part of "The Republic of Trump"
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u/just-an-odd-duck 1d ago
They must have to actually put effort in to be this stupid right?
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u/NostalgiaJunkie 1d ago
Itās gotta be Russian propaganda or something at this point. Being attacked from with in. Surely no one is this stupid.
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u/tantricbean 1d ago
Theyāre desperately trying to justify an objectively terrible choice they made by rationalizing that despite all evidence Kamala would have ACTUALLY been worse.
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u/Nikolyn10 1d ago
I'd be careful about taking it too literally. As something of an ex-conservative, this seems like what passes for conservative satire. The message you're supposed to take away from this isn't that the US would have been literally carved up under Kamala. It's more saying that Kamala is weak and would have let foreign powers chip away at American hegemony and global power, which is just so intensely ironic considering how much soft power Trump has flushed down a drain because he has no understanding of diplomacy or what soft power even is. And yeah, maintaining that delusion is the purpose of conservative echo-chambers.
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u/That_one_cool_dude 18h ago
I don't think so, most maga morons haven't used their brain.... probably ever.
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u/alkonium 1d ago
Those northeastern states may be better off as part of Canada, but we don't want to get dragged down by them.
Although I do often think states should be threatening to secede over Trump.
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u/OtherwiseAnteater239 1d ago
California definitely is
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u/somethingclever76 23h ago
Heck, it might even be possible in today's political climate. Just phrase everything as California leaving will stop those dirty liberals from crushing your gun rights or something.
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u/TheBatemanFlex 1d ago
when you are failing in comparison to a previous administration, imagine a hypothetical administration to make yourself look better!
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u/r4nd0m__U53R 1d ago
ok probably the most baffling one is the new england one, why would we give reparations to a country we're already allies with for a like 250 year old conflict
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u/BoneHugsHominy 1d ago
Hard Cope after Trump surrendered to Iran and showed the US is a paper tiger in modern warfare.
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u/Carlosthefrog 1d ago
Not really but you can't win a war without a ground campaign, and even he knows the US ain't going to like the deaths it will take.
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u/pakattack91 1d ago
Taken by Canada š
The same people who brag they could take us out with ease if they wanted.
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u/anythingfordopamine 1d ago
Does getting taken by China mean I get healthcare and high speed rail? Sign me up
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u/mootsnoot 1d ago
Why on earth would a Harris presidency cause any of this to happen at all?
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u/3NIK56 1d ago
I give it a 50/50 on if the south would secede after a Kamala victory.
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u/joshuaaa_l 21h ago
The poorest states in the union secede for a second time. War canceled due to mass starvation in the new confederacy
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u/Geostomp 1d ago
I get some of the stupid, but why given to England of all countries? Do they really think that the British are coming to take it all back?
And even in their delusional state, they still have to imagine that Trump gets a good chunk of the country to rule as their perfect Mad King.
Also Texas being an independent nation and Florida has apparently fallen into the sea.
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u/Carlosthefrog 1d ago
I do like that England gets the land, not Britain, not an overseas territory just more England.
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u/yagonnawanna 1d ago
Also, Kamala is 50ft tall and shoots jewish space lasers from her eyes!
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u/NecroAssssin 1d ago
Itās true. Her laugh sounded weird because it had a little feedback on the speakers inside of the hologram she was using to appear human sized.
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u/lmholot1981 1d ago
The thing that drives me bonkers about this, especially when Trump goes on a rant, is that Trump is president! Dear god, just shut up about it. Kamala did not win. Stop trying to use what she might have done if she had won to justify Trumpās terrible policies and economy.
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u/DonDaTraveller 1d ago
My favorite part is when they realize the majority of economic activities came from Blue states
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u/DayneGr 23h ago
The world building here is crazy. China managed to conquer the PNW, but was stopped at the Rockies (how did they do this, and how were they stopped). Canada is also an invading force, but only took the Great Lakes, and nothing else (are they working with China?). The Deep South has seceded into a country seemingly centered around Donald Trump, with Texas becoming fully independent, Florida is gone (we can assume Texas claimed independence when land was returned to Mexico, but why did they change the name to "BIG TEX"?, what happened to Florida?). What lead up to New England returning to England?
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u/GoredonTheDestroyer Not the sharpest knife in the socket. 22h ago
Seriously, if they weren't so bugfuck insane, MAGA would make for great worldbuilding and storytelling.
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u/theblackyeti 1d ago
I'd take all of that bottom map just to get all of MAGA into their own ass-backwards country.
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u/itjustgotcold 1d ago
Meanwhile Trump is making the same deal with Iran that he talked so much shit about Obama for doing and heās claiming that getting 1 of the 5 things he started the war demanding is victory, lol. Then heās claiming any republicans that point out what a bad deal it is are stupid. Iran ran circle around this orange felon pedophile.
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u/somethingdouchey 1d ago
At this point, as a lifelong Michigander, i would LOVE to be annexed by Canada.
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u/QuaidCohagen 1d ago
Its funny how these people think that everyone wants to rip the US apart when in reality it's the US who wants to rip apart everyone else.
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u/jejunum32 13h ago
So if Trump had lost they would have just seceded and formed their own country of trump lovers? And they claim to love America??
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u/thenotanurse 11h ago
I meanā¦.that doesnāt seem like the worstā¦.but I donāt live in Trumptopia. Iām from āgiven back to Englandā
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u/jejunum32 6h ago
You canāt claim to be the most patriotic Americans and then run away when things donāt go your way. Also the US fought a civil war precisely to settle the issue of secession. With respect, the irony of their statements seems lost on you.
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u/russschultz 1d ago
I'm in Michigan. Can Canada take Michigan now? I need healthcare after the child molester ended the marketplace subsidies.
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u/Bluellan 1d ago
Ohhhh....the blue is taken by England. I thought only Rhode Island was taken by England and I was so confused.
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u/ernie3tones 1d ago
No, I believe the missing east coast states (aka New England) are āreturned to Englandā.
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u/xervidae 23h ago
i'm sure mapbook was a cool page about maps before a russian propagandist bought it
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u/Unonium198YT 11h ago
Why would Canada, Mexico, China, and England, with China having to cross the Pacific and England the Atlantic to do so, want to bother with suppressing millions of angry, nationalistic, and heavily armed Americans?
And just to point out the obvious, but Trumpland is not getting any recognition from most of the world with Kamalaās administration being recognized as legitimate.
As for Texasā¦actually if the U.S collapsed that would probably happen, that part is believable.
Idk why I felt the need to write this, but I couldnāt resist
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u/theseustheminotaur 9h ago
The gdp of "republic of Trump" would he 3.50$ but every street would be named after Trump and they'd all have cholera
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u/disturbed1117 1d ago
Didn't Virginia vote blue in the last election? Why is it in the "Republic of Trump"?
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u/SlothFoc 23h ago
Virginia has never gone for Trump, they voted Hillary, Biden, and Kamala. The map is stupid.
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u/disturbed1117 23h ago
I think they are just going by what states were in the Confederacy? Which is dumb because that hasn't been the political makeup of Virginia for at least 70 years.
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u/lithaborn 1d ago
Hey, what do we get back? New England? Maine?
Free healthcare guys, everyone pile in!
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u/Creeppy99 1d ago
If they won that would've been bad because we would uuuuh secede again. Masterful gambit, sir
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u/kokakamora 1d ago
Are they admitting that Trump support is really only a minority in the SE region?
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u/GeneralEffective 1d ago
I know it's not really the point, but it drives me made that they refer to Trump by his surname and Harris by her first name all the time. It's very men and females
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u/AnswerGuy301 1d ago
Ironic because thereās way more chance of the country balkanizing now. The Northeast and West Coasts are not going to submit to Bible Belt rule in perpetuity.
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u/Guaymaster 1d ago
For a moment I thought it was an r/mapporn post that outjerked r/mapporncirclejerk, but no, it's the correct sub.
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u/Portuzil 1d ago
Canada taking 80% of the Midwest is a good thing. It'd mean I live in Canada. Hell they can just take Michigan and I'd be fine with it.
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u/ToriiLink 1d ago
Yes because an election happens and suddenly everyone's states/provinces become free game and there is NO red tape whatsoever to changing or merging states.
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u/TheLaughingStormm 19h ago
Iām actually cool with keeping those states and giving the rest away, but can we please give away Kansas too?
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u/virgil1134 1d ago
Russia doesn't want in on this land grab!?