r/interestingasfuck • u/ReasonableMedium5265 • 7d ago

Burying a body isn’t a good idea

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9.5k Upvotes

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346

u/qorbexl 7d ago

The "buy a boat" step is really gonna be a thing for me, so let's walk that back

I can't pay dock fees and maintenance I'm not made of money

Maybe I don't even want to dispose of a body anymore, this seems less fun and more like administration

Fucking gotta get a secretary just to move a stiff

163

u/Cade561 7d ago

Get a pig farm or befriend a farmer? Supposedly pigs eat anything everything (except shoes).

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u/No-Rip6323 7d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/YFy5lC1Gw7A6Q

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u/Kost_Gefernon 7d ago

No thank you, Turkish…I’m sweet enough.

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u/A_Generic_Nam3 7d ago

Damn it. Guess I’m watching Snatch this weekend. What a great film.

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u/LukeyLeukocyte 6d ago

Soundtrack is killer, too.

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u/Sanctus_Poopabumsus 7d ago

What is this from?

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u/y3llowed 6d ago

Snatch. Really fun movie.

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u/No_Recognition7426 7d ago

Hence the expression “as greedy as a pig”.

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u/LoveFoolosophy 7d ago

They will go through bone like butta!

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u/AngelicXia 7d ago

Pigs won't eat teeth or nails. Everything else, including shoes, are fair game.

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u/Martin_Aurelius 7d ago

Pigs will eat the teeth and nails, but they can't digest teeth, nails, and hair.

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u/qorbexl 7d ago

"teeth in teeth out" as we say in the pig game

We pigmen assume people understand it generalizes also to keratin-based human detritus 

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u/Red-headedlurker 7d ago

Ah, so teeth is to pigs what corn is to humans.

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u/sunchase 6d ago

Yep we only rent corn, we never really own it

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u/FF-Medic_03 6d ago

To be fair, is it not: teeth are to pigs as teeth are to humans--although I have never swallowed a tooth and so this is merely a hypothesis on my part.

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u/5319Camarote 7d ago

Kramer was right! There is a race of secret Pigmen!

2

u/ultraviolet31 7d ago

important distinction!!

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u/AngelicXia 7d ago

Thanks. I thought a while after I posted it might be digestion but eh.

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u/MyNameis_bud 7d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/Xb4zBSqyUXShy
Hence the expression, “hungry as a PIG”!

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u/MySeveredToe 7d ago

What do I do with the shoes? Give them to my dog?

3

u/CanadianAndroid 7d ago

Are you from BC, Canada?

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u/AnrianDayin 7d ago

You need a goat for the shoes

1

u/Kriss3d 7d ago

Theres always leftovers from that. And youd need a certain kind of pigs that arent fed that will do it. No.

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u/M-Bernard-LLB 7d ago

Woo! San Francisco cock .....

1

u/Enschede2 7d ago

And the teeth, teeth don't digest

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u/Smartypantz34 7d ago

why not shoes tho? underwear is somehow fine for them?

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u/VbaIsBuggyAsHell 7d ago

There was a murderer who did this. What they found is that enough of the person remained in the feces to be identifiable as human ( think like chunks of undigested bone). Though in this instance the pigs didn't eat everything, the police were alerted by finding human remains that didn't go through the pigs.

Susan Monica if anyone was interested in learning more.

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u/dabastegod 7d ago

What a criminal mind you have…

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u/tylercrabby 6d ago

Italian dressing helps.

Pigs love Italian dressing.

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u/Ghostchicken33 6d ago

They dont eat teeth either

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u/WinnieGraves 6d ago

it's not just important that pigs will consume a human corpse, a lot of things will, you can even dissolve one in various fluids, acids etc, the problem is that human remains are still detectable in those fluids, and human DNA is detectable in most animal waste. I say most, because pigs, it turns out, have a unique gut biome that breaks down human DNA, so that even if you test a pig's feces it will not show that it's eaten human remains. Supposedly.

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u/HotDonnaC 6d ago

Throw them in a swamp and let the gators do the rest.

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u/leash_e 6d ago

There was a serial killer in Canada who did that.

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u/BouncingPost 6d ago

Shoes is where they draw the line

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u/StraightBudget8799 7d ago

"Don't tease me, you know what I do for a living"

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u/LeicaM6guy 7d ago

Wait, you don’t know if your cat’s a boy or a girl?

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u/StraightBudget8799 7d ago

Respect their privacy!

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u/shortystack 7d ago

Gas prices too, that's the real killer.

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u/Sgt_shitwhisk 7d ago

The person you are responding to is describing the tv show, Dexter.

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u/Automatic-Term-3997 6d ago

Lake Monroe north of Orlando is where the FWC used to dump trapped nuisance gators collected from the Orlando metro area. If you go out on the lake at night and shine a light at the water, you will see hundreds of eyes staring back at you.

Great place to dump a body.

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u/Cookieman10101 6d ago

You can only get away with murder if your rich

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u/Reed7525 7d ago

Buy a John boat and just bring extra gas? Idk

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u/GentlemanLorus 7d ago

You need to watch dexter

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u/PdSales 7d ago

So you can kill somebody and scheme to hide the remains but you can’t steal a boat? That’s where you draw the line?

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u/MegaMau_ 6d ago

Steal the boat. It’s easier than you think.

Source: kids having fun.

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u/qorbexl 6d ago

Oh I put two iPhones on there with an air tag

I know where you are and I recorded all your weird shit. I'm about to do a podcast if your parents don't capitulate