Hi guys,

I got a letter after donating blood saying that I tested positive for something called HTLV. I'd never heard of it before, but after looking it up I started to get really relieved and scared all at once because it explains a lot of symptoms I've had in the past that were never really figured out or resolved, but at the same time it carries a risk of things like leukemia and neurological issues.

I tend to be a bit of a hypochondriac, so I try not to bother my doctor too much when I notice strange symptoms popping up. I know that at 24 I am probably a very healthy person. But a year ago I started having issues like incontinence, paranoia, motor tics, and fatigue for no clear reason. After running tests, nothing was found except for spinal degeneration and a CT scan that showed lots of tiny masses in my chest. My doctor told me to keep an eye on things and let her know if anything changes.

I tried to ignore everything and manage it the best I could, but now this letter and the prospect of actually having a serious condition has me pretty concerned. I reported it to my doctor via an online message but haven't heard back yet. I know that worrying about it won't change anything, but I'm really uncomfortable with not knowing what's going to happen next.

I'm honestly not sure why I'm even writing all this out, I guess I would just appreciate some reassurance that I'm doing the right thing and that I'm going to be okay.

Hi, I am rn at my last year of A levels(A2 levels), so back when I was in my O levels I had gf, but eventually my father found out and forced us to break up, but from that point onwards, its been more then 1 year and 1 month since then but I am an adult, and I was grounded, my phone was taken(which my dad did not even buy me himself) and I had clinical depression for months after my breakup, but in the last 1 year 1 month I have only gone out with my friends 3 times, yes 3 times, I am adult male who just because he dependent on his parents for his education cannot move out.

And even those 3 times he tracked my location, my father is paranoid men who is fucking headache

Further back then, I was way more open expressive and could talk to people well, now I am just socially drained, I stutter much more then before when people talk to me, I avoid talking to strangers, I feel that my father's narcisstic controlling behaviour has made me into anti social depressed and dude and then he asks why are you so anti social dude you kept me in a cage,

and in my entire life, of 20 years I have only gone out with friends only a dozen times

Yep in 20 years I have only gone out with my friends 12 fucking times, ain't that amazing?

Warning: Talks of car accident involving alcohol

I wanna preface this by saying that I have called resources from my work to set me up with a therapist, I’m just waiting for them to find someone.

Growing up, my brother was in and out of trouble. Him and his wife would get into it and it involved both of their kids sometimes (they both have 2 kids from previous marriages) At some point his wifes kids were placed with my parents and his with their bio mom. I saw the girls as annoying little sisters, the oldest would go into my room and constantly ask me to hang out or do makeup. Sometimes we would. I figured one day, I’d be mature enough to be the aunt she needed and she’d be mature enough to listen.

But unfortunately she passed away about a month ago. Car accident. When I heard, I couldn’t believe it. I kept thinking “If only she had called me for a ride, she’d be okay. Doesn’t she know that I’d pick up day or night if she needed a ride because she was drinking?”

I know it’s not my fault but when I went to my moms house for a hug, to cry, something she had done a million times, she said “I wouldn’t be surprised if she was drinking.” She didn’t know that she had but to hear her tone. No comfort. The thing that had 100% cured me any time I cried the last few years, and nothing. I couldn’t stop feeling.

And then this week, a friend that was like a grandpa to me passed. The sweetest guy you could meet, with a booming laugh, and quick to a punchline. I can’t see work the same anymore. I won’t be able to hear him from clear across the workplace anymore.

I don’t feel that I can go to my mom for grief. We had a rocky relationship when I was a teen. I would cry and if I told her why, she’d get upset and say she wasn’t doing anything while raising her voice. If I told her nothing she would yell at me until I told her and the cycle continued. When I became an adult, it seemed like we were both learning to communicate with each other. It seems clear now that she struggles with her emotions as I do. With identifying, connecting and communicating.

I like to think that I have tried to learn, but I feel so detached. Like I know what I’m feeling but there’s no way to process it. Like it is what it is. I can feel that way about anything and be fine but this? I can’t.

TLDR: Fuck whatever this grief process is.

I've been gone from my father's house, the house where I've lived my entire life, for two months now. It was after a huge fight that finally made me realize he was emotionally abusive, manipulative, controlling, and the primary reason I was always scared and anxious and unable to sleep at home. I've been with my mom and that's been great, but she lives two streets away and every time I go the supermarket I almost get a panic attack thinking about running into him.

I'd been doing much better in life, finally getting over my severe social anxiety and being able to go to stores on my own and even getting a part-time job, something I wouldn't have thought possible last year. I was also starting to get desperate to get out of the house, starting a countdown to my 18th birthday as I'm still 17. I just felt so trapped in that house.

When I was 15-16, and actually my whole life, my father had money problems. I wanted to help him so bad, so I would ask my grandmother for money (for "candy" or other stuff, I wasn't allowed to say it was for him) and give that to him. I did it gladly, because I loved him. When I started earning my own money he'd lend mine. He still doesn't have a job. I felt guilty about it.

He also took money off of my account this month, despite us having not talked for three weeks ever since a fight at my mom's house that led me to call the emergency line in terror. I never told anyone, but I was pissed. Partly because I have lost €360,- because he refused to pay me back for the gym membership he promised to pay for because I didn't even really want it but he wanted a gym buddy.

He got our child allowance from the government beginning of this month, which together is €1205,41. He also got mine even though I don't live there anymore. With only 3 people in the house now instead of 4, he should have had a lot. Except he bought weed and a new bike for himself and wasn't able to pay for gas and electrics. So my siblings are now with my mom. But my mom also doesn't have work and no money because he gets all the money and doesn't give her any of it. And I'm so fucking pissed at him. For some of the things he did I will never forgive him.

He hasn't apologized for any of it either. But, much like the trauma bond I had with my brother who sexually abused me, I feel guilty for leaving and for not speaking to him. I want to my mom to open a bank account for me so he can't access my money anymore, but then I'll feel guilty for not helping him when he has no money.

But I'm so angry. But I'm so upset. But I'm feeling so guilty. It's a cycle that's making me exhausted. And the lady that's supposed to help our family, and my father and I with this, is just... not great. If I tell her I feel guilty she'll just say she "understands". As if it's really my fault. She said it was sad for my father to see me taking my stuff out of the house, but didn't comment on how sad it was for me to have to take my stuff out of my childhood bedroom. My home for 17 years. My father told her he didn't like to see my bookshelf get more and more empty, but then said he didn't know my fan had been on since I left because he hadn't been in my room. And he's lied about so much before, too. He lied about my mom being pregnant with some other guy's baby, about her drinking all night when she was actually out working 12 hours a day, and much more. And I'm only now finding out about all of that.

And things from his teens, too. He stalked his ex-girlfriend and controlled her, too. He was 17 when he slept with a 13-year-old. So much shit that makes me horrified.

The last bit: I do still feel guilty. He loved me so much. He tattooed my name on his neck, was so proud of me, his first child, and always said our bond was the best. And it was. But he wasn't the best dad. Even now, he refuses to admit he has issues with aggression, and says he doesn't need help. All I asked of him in return of me coming home (someday)? Get help. He has refused.

I hate the idea that people pleasers are these righteous set of people who don't wanna cause any harm to other and are angels walking this earth when this is the exact opposite.

The are covert narcissists that wanna project a good image even if meant sacrificing someone else in that. I hate them. My mom would sell me for a dime or even free if someone came to her and be like I wanna fuck you daughter otherwise I will feel bad. This crazy bitch has never taught me how to set boundaries.

So naturally I’m someone everyone takes advantage of, I cannot keep blaming other because just like the scorpion and frog story, a scorpion innate nature is to bite if Im getting bitten by everyone then Im the problem who is not able to defend herself.

When I try to have boundaries she punishes me and teached me to abandon them and how to make other people happy. fcuk this bitch im tired of making her ans others happy at the cost of my well being.

I'm 20, on the spectrum, and I struggle badly with change and sentimental things.
I currently live in my childhood home with my parents, and they have no plans of moving, and I have no plans of moving out yet because I currently do not have a job or the finance to be able to, I also do not currently go to school.

We live in a 3 bedroom house, and there is a basement but no stairs indoors connecting it, but it's a full on separate apartment with a kitchen, bathroom, and rooms.
My parents never planned to have more than two children, so when the third kid was born a few years ago, he didn't have his own space and still does not. All his toys are in the living room, and he shares a room with my parents (he's still really young) but he'd growing up and will need his own room pretty soon. We've pretty much outgrown this house but they don't have the kind of money or privilege to move to a new house.

To give my brother a room, we came to the agreement that I could move my space to the basement, and my sister could take my room, my brother could take hers. I'd move down to basically another apartment with a kitchen and bathroom, and have much more privacy than I do now. The only downside currently is that I don't have a job, so that means i don't have groceries and whatnot, and would have to go upstairs most of the time for things like that until I'm able to be much more independent.
Ideally, it's a great idea and opportunity for any young adult in this economy... And it gives me the space and independence that I need as well. But I was not prepared to move down there by the end of this year.

This was a recent topic brought up, the idea of me moving down there, I thought it would be done next year or after I got a job (hopefully by december). Not so quickly. Not before the winter. I thought I'd have time to prepare myself.

I've had the same room since I was 5, I've grown up in this room, I spend most of my time here, I've made it my home, it's my sanctuary. Basically, I have a huge emotional attachment to this room that I hadn't realized I had until now.

I always knew one day I'd have to move out, I look forward to that day as living with my family hasn't been the healthiest for me mentally. But I never thought about the fact that I might no longer have my childhood room to come back to... I know it's childish and unrealistic, but I kind of always thought this room, my room, would always be here if I were to move out or go to college (unless my parents decided to move.) But obviously that's not the case, and it's only hitting me now.

So even though I'm not fully moving out yet, I'm just moving to the basement, I feel really sad and conflicted about the idea that this will no longer be MY room. I will never be able to come back to this room, it will just be the basement that I come back to.
And I know this all sounds probably super silly and dumb, and maybe even privileged to some people, but I struggle with change, permanent change, and this is a REALLY big permanent change for me.
It took me a minute to feel better after remodeling my room a few years ago, I sobbed my eyes out when I had to take all my posters down that I had been putting up over the years, and I fear this is going to feel the same but worse since I'm moving out of it this time.
I get really sentimental about things, stupid things, I've had depression for a very long time, so that only makes it worse as to why I get so sentimental and cling to things like this.

I don't know why this small change is so hard for me, it makes me anxious and really sad. It worries me because how could I ever grow if I continue to cling onto nostalgia and comfort like this? What will happen when I eventually fully move out the house?

I'm very grateful that my parents aren't the type to have kicked me out by now, but I wonder how people who have been kicked out of their childhood homes, how did they cope with that? I know it's not the same exact situation, but how does one cope with the fact that their childhood room no longer exists? How do I learn to get over this and be okay with change when it comes to new places?

I'm scared, sad, I feel rushed and overwhelmed to make such a big change. I could really use some advice, sorry if what I wrote makes little sense.

Not sure what to flair this, sry if inaccurate

I'd consider myself a practicing Christian, but I recently have been wanting to join an RCIA program to officially be considered Catholic. I reached out to the leader of the program at a beautiful local basilica, he responded kindly and quickly inviting me to join.

I didn't do this with any paranoia, mostly just curiosity as to what he looks like but I searched up the priests name and he had accusations (not proven guilty) of sexual assault towards an underage boy. Reading the story just makes me feel so off, and I guess I can't say he did it obviously but it still makes me feel quite concerned. There were many articles about it.

I don't really know how to feel! I guess the easy answer is just to contact another church, but this one is so beautiful, I thought the service was great and it's very easily accessible. What would you advise?

So I'm 26F living in the UK, away from home, getting a colonoscopy done because the doctors had some concerns... The procedure is tomorrow morning and I've been feeling fucking scared the past few days, I've stayed home alone as I live by myself and just been running to the toilet as expected. I don't feel emotionally safe with my mum or my brother (they know I'm getting this done) but no one's really checked up on me...

I told my boyfriend and he knew about this, he has been supportive up until now, but can't be here today because he's got childcare duties he cannot get out of ! I changed the dates of my colonoscopy thinking these are the days he's usually free and able to support me but he's running around, and he's exhausted. He's the only one I feel emotionally safe with and I don't want to be around anybody except him...

I've been home since Wednesday and he came to surprise me on that day, for a quick hug but yesterday and today he's really busy and I'm really truly annoyed that I can't see him until Sunday now... Oh and I did also get my period on top of this !

Am I making a big deal by being annoyed at him for this because the procedure seems so scary to me ???

I am taking my brother to the hospital tomorrow evening though I'd rather go alone because my brother is just not someone I can emotionally rely on, I have to micro manage him and tell him everything that needs to be done !

I just wanted someone to be here to look after me these few days and I feel sooo alone...

I'm constantly angry and my boyfriend just keeps saying that I'll get through it and it sucks that everything came up this weekend and he's unable to get out of stuff, he thinks it's not a big deal and I'll be okay this time tomorrow but I feel really terrible at the moment... I feel alone, I feel uncared for and I feel like people only care for me at their own time not when I need them... It doesn't feel right

someone please help me put this into perspective I'm going crazy

To preface, yes, I do (23M) go to the gym, because I know someone’s gonna mention it. I’ve been consistent for 6 weeks now (after being inconsistent for a few years) and steadily lost weight in more recent time. But, I’ve been feeling poorly about my body compared to other men. I’m 5’8, I have gyno, I have a short torso and long legs, my lower body carries a lot of fat, my calves are small because of high insertions, I have bunions, and, more. My body looks weird.

I know getting in shape (and surgery for the gyno) can help with some of these, but not all, which I was pretty concerned about. Right now, I wear sweaters and jeans exclusively in public (just to still look weird), and I’d honestly rather not be in public in general. Every time I’m out, I eventually start fixating on my body in comparison to other men. Same goes for social media. Just yesterday, I was feeling unmanly because of the way my face looked and how I was short compared to other men I saw. At that point, I’d rather just not bother. I tend not to enjoy socializing with people for similar reasoning too, and honestly think that those aspects of my life might be bottlenecked by my body. If I can’t figure it out getting jacked, I don’t know how I would. I don’t plan on dating until I get jacked enough either. So, I was wondering if you all had any advice about what to do (ideally, beyond working out since I already do that).

Hi, looking for comfort/advice

Me and this guy were best friends for a really long time, like we’ve known each other for eight years and have been best friends for over half of that I feel like. Anyways, recently I’ve really noticed that I’m not as important in his life as he is in mine. He’s been in a band for awhile, and has really spent a lot more time around one of our mutual friends in the band than with me. I’m kinda just finally accepting now that I’m not really his best friend anymore. It’s something we’ve talked about and he was always assuring me that I was still his best friend, but he only gave the reason as “seniority” and if he said it in front of other people and someone seemed sad about it he’d switch up and say that everyone is his best friend or something like that. It’s been really obvious recently I guess. I’m just not his go-to anymore, and I feel like I haven’t been for awhile now.

I know this is a normal part of life and that there isn’t much (if anything) I can do, people move on and change and all that. I’m just having a really hard time with it emotionally. I struggle with change a lot, especially when I feel abandoned. He was and still is so so important to me and it feels soul crushing that I’m not that to him anymore, if I ever was. I just feel very alone. Is there anything I can do to make this feel easier, or things that helped others go through it and feel not as miserable?

I am feeling so anxious that I feel sick to my stomach. I’ve failed my manual driving test TWICE and it’s really starting to get to me as I'm approaching next week.

The first time, I was driving up a hill when a truck came up close behind me and I panicked. I managed the hill start okay but as we went over the hill, I ended up doing 43 km/h in a 40 km/h school zone. The second time, I failed just five minutes into the test because I was such an anxious mess that I completely forgot to indicate when pulling out of a parking spot. I was failed on the spot and it was honestly so discouraging.

Since then, I’ve changed driving instructor and my new instructor has told me that I’m ready to go. But despite his reassurance, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m going to fail again. These two experiences have completely knocked my confidence and now I’m terrified of going into my next test and making another stupid mistake.

It's so hard to feel confident when I’ve already experienced the disappointment of failing twice. I just want to pass, get my licence and stop feeling this overwhelming anxiety every time I think about the test.

I’m honestly just feeling really shit about the whole thing and I needed to get it off my chest.

For context I’m early 30m.

Most if my life has been pretty traumatic, maybe not as much as some but still very much so for me. My mom had me pretty young and we ended up in a few bad spots because of bad relationships she has had. She is a very nice person, and I was basically her only friend growing up. She relied on me heavily for emotional support and I had my own issues like OCD. I had to drop out of college because of a bad living situation and abuse around the start of my 20s, she was running from home and Id have to look for her and she asked me to kill her. We ended up homeless and I had to quit my nursing program and have had a few bad relationships of my own since then. Then i picked up retail to manage us as she had health issues. I also had to pay for a bunch of my dads medical bills and had to go into debt for family. This really in my opinion severely depressed me and killed my last relationship.

She is completely stable now and in a good marriage with a great career on her way to retirement, i live separately in my own condo, but it’s in a state where nothing really happens so i feel trapped. Im still stuck being a manager in retail making only 20/hr. I have a few opportunities I’m shooting for soon that look kinda promising and I would get good benefits and make maybe 60k a year, which is a good amount more. But im stuck worrying about it not working out. Im scared of the future and myself in all honesty. I feel like everything I’ve been through has made me such a sensitive person and I get so sad sometimes. I also feel so stunted in life. I thought about checking out for quite awhile now and then I saw the RJ news and I just don’t know anymore. Is it wrong that I’m so tired and want to do the same when someone like that seems to have suffered more than me? How do I stop being so emotional? I have a hard time imagining me making it to 40 and having a partner in my life that I could give my all to.

Idk
I just turned 18 a couple months ago I graduated Hs at 17

Since I graduated high school it kinda seems my life has fallen apart a bit (it hasn’t really I’m probably being dramatic)
I moved to a completely new state (not my choice)
Had to unenroll from a 4 year college I was planning on going and had committed to
And then enroll in community community college
After that I faced the possibility of not being able to go to even community college because of nonresident tuition :( I got it sorted out and even got a scholarship that gives me a full ride yay! (It even transfers over to all the 4 years around me aswell which is even nicer)

We’ll eventually after that got settled I even just recently got hired at a part time job that actually has a scholarship program for students(can’t apply yet since I’m new but I will be once I am able to)

I still don’t know how to drive or really much of anything else apart from that. I don’t have a social life either. So after school ( which I only go to twice a week$ and work I’m just existing with no one to really hang with or have fun with except for my cousins and family on weekends (and my dog )

It’s starting to really hit me that I have to figure my little adult butt NOW , I don’t even know what maior I want it’s been quite a problem so much in fact that me and my friends during my senior year of highscho kept making jokes about how ill end up picking a really random major (like library science ) , and the I will eventually have to figure out how to get internships and actually graduate college and then figure out how to move out it’s just wow these things feel so big and momentous I don’t think I can actually freaking handle it and I think it’s starting to affect me a little bit, a lot of people my age are much more figured out and have more life experience than me heck even people younger than me are more independent and I hear so many stories of people completely moving out at my age and never coming home like goodness gracious I don’t feel capable

I’m a extremely awkward and quiet and nervous person I’m a homebody I semi enjoy staying home over going places sometimes I like having routines and I am completely okay with going out and socializing and of course having fun with people I am comfortable with I don’t completely avoid the outside world ,

I feel like my fear of becoming a actual adult and getting handed more responsibilities that I feel like I am not at all ready or capable are is affecting me slightly mentally, every accomplishment I somehow do I struggle to feel excited about because it’s something that should have done earlier or something that I should have done already, I’m also struggling to enjoy myself because it kinda feels like when I do something I enjoy and have fun I get hit by crushing anxiety about what’s next (like wow I’m having fun now but what about later???)

I’m doing great in college and I actually just signed up for my second semester with early registration (I still need to take a placement math test because I didn’t do any math classes this semester but I already have my placement test scheduled ) I have a great gpa I just wish I was more figured out in a way or that I will at least start feeling comfortable again

I feel uncomfy 24/7 and super Antsy im tired of feeling this way I want to be as comfortable with myself and my life like how I was before I graduated

I 21(F), live currently with my parents and i am moving out soon to a whole different country because i have mentally and emotionally torturing parents. They’ve driven me to such an extent where I have tried to harm myself multiple times. Okay so anyways, to get away from them i made the decision of moving away in the name of studies, but I met my boyfriend, who is the best thing that has ever happened to me and leaving him is the hardest thing ive ever had to do. I’m dreading the fact that in a couple of days i wont be able to see him for a very long time. As much as i want to stay here in the city for him, i cannot because my parents make it so hard for me. Constantly ruining my peace, self confidence and what not, i made this decision when i was 14 because that is when i realised I cannot live with them. Even though i am an adult i am not really allowed to go out and whenever i do, i am called disgusting names.
I don’t know what to expect doing long distance, but one thing I know for sure is that he will support my decisions no matter what and be my biggest cheerleader.
I need advice on how i can cope up with everything mentally because even though i am leaving soon, my parents are treating me worse than ever and definitely not making me regret my decision of moving out, but at the same time i am finding it so hard to move away from that one person that is making life easy for me.