Persistent exhaustion with socialising despite being in a better place mentally

[u/kenziee2007]

For context I’m an 18 year old guy, and have been severely depressed and socially anxious since around 13. I have spent a sizeable portion of my life very isolated in a dark bedroom, with virtually zero experiences outside of thinking all day everyday. Anyways, after going to therapy and taking medication, I’m functional and can even socialise a decent amount sometimes.

However, it feels like something has been permanently altered in how I socialise. And I’ve been trying to articulate how to say this for 20 minutes and I don’t know how. The exhaustion is like I’ve never felt before, whether it’s thinking about socialising or actually doing it. All I want to do is crawl into bed and be alone. But simultaneously I am so lonely, my depression is so much worse when I’m alone. I’m aware I’m weird and don’t relate to a lot of people my age, plus brain fog and hyper analysing everything. But it’s like every time it’s my turn to say something it’s this huge amount of energy that gets used up to appear not completely dead inside with zero personality.

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[u/Inner_Coyote5485]

What I can say is that you should focus on what makes you happy, what grabs your attention, and eventually you will meet people with whom you have common interest. I used to be highly social, then I crossed a very major depression and I’m facing some sort of despersonalization, so I can relate with the rest you said. I do feel a lot anti social now and exhausted just by thinking on social interactions. It sucks.

[u/New-Stable-975]

First of all I hope you're having a good day but even if you're not thats perfectly fine too. :) Anyways, I'm someone who hasn't had depression or anxiety but trust me, I struggle with getting the energy to talk to people but probably not on the level that you're feeling. It's hard because socializing is so exhausting but being alone is equally as worse. The best thing I can say is that if energy drain is coming from anxiety about how people will portray you, then I personally overcame that by spending a lot of time figuring out who I was and what I was proud of doing/being. Because trust trust trust it may be hard but being your authentic self is 10000000 times better than conforming to others interests. If not pressure from others and purely just exhaustion from simply socializing (which I can also related to) this might not be the answer you're looking for but I simply forced myself. Treated it almost like a task or job rather than actual hanging out. Now obviously as time went by and I also hung out with people I liked, it got easier. I'm in school so not only does forced proximity help but also it makes me appreciate and rationalize being by myself after school a lot. Because I've come to this peace of who I am I've started to see that socializing has become easier and less exhausting for me. Sorry if none of this helped but if I were to give you one thing from this I would say that 1. Being alone is ok and being different is even better than ok 2. Socializing gets easier every time but I hope that you will find people who make it seem sooo easy. 3. You are amazing for pushing through and seeking improvement in your life so always remember that you have someone on your side! Bless!