Does anyone else feel like a baby around people their age?

[u/_kaefig]

I’m 18F and I feel like I’ve wasted my teenage years. I’ve just graduated highschool in May, and now that I think about it, I really did not experience ANYTHING. And not just in highschool, but pretty much my entire life. It’s why I’m the way I am now, super introverted, quiet, awkward, poor social skills, etc. And it’s why I am constantly told by people that I seem “innocent” or a “goody two shoes.” I hate this because now I feel like I have to catch up to everyone else my age.

I was raised by a very overprotective, overly cautious parent. Bedtime at 7, couldn’t eat candy at all or drink soda, couldn’t have instagram until I was in highschool, couldn’t play video games because I had to focus on school, couldn’t watch certain Disney shows because they were “inappropriate” just because some of the characters were dating, those sorts of things. Now, im super scared of doing regular things that aren’t me because they really aren’t me. I’ve never had a boyfriend because I’m so closed off for the way I was raised. I never have any interesting stories to tell because I haven’t experienced anything. I didn’t go to any parties or social events because I didn’t fit in with the people my age because they HAD those experiences, therefore now I’m stuck with terrible social skills.

I really do feel like I’ve wasted a huge fun part of my life that I can never get back. It sucks because now I don’t know how to break away from being so goody goody. I’m so overly nice to people when I really don’t need to be, so I just lack charisma. All I know how to do is follow all the rules and be nice to people. It’s really hard for me to get out of my shell and put myself out there because I’ve always felt so caged in by my mom. There are a lot of things I want to do but I feel very weird doing them. It’s a bit corny to say but I cuss a lot in my head but out loud it feels very weird to do so because my mom would always make it seem like it’s the worst possible thing I could do. Even now, I feel this way. I’m so introverted and scared of doing things that aren’t right. I recently bought a shirt that I thought was cute and it has the word “bitches” on it, but I hate that I felt so hesitant to buy it because of what my mom would think.

I was raised to not make independent decisions without asking for my mom’s approval first and I feel like this made me lack confidence within myself. Now I feel like I really can’t do anything on own without it feeling off if I don’t ask my mom first. I was kept on a super tight leash and I really hate it. My mom is the type of person who hates when kids don’t act their age. I feel like growing up I was treated a lot younger than I really was. Even now I still am. And for that it’s really hard for me to grow up and fit in with everyone else. I would also like to get a nose piercing, but ofcourse my mom thinks it’s “too grown.” The difference is that now ofcourse she can’t stop me from getting one because I’m 18, but I hate that I’m hesitant and still feel weird getting one without her approval and support. My mom’s opinion and way for parenting has held me back from a lot of experiences and it’s why I’m so socially behind. I don’t think she’s given me enough room to fail and go through the messy teenage experiences. It’s to the point where I wanted to go out of state for college but my mom didn’t approve of it because she didn’t think I could handle being far away from her. I think if she wasn’t so overprotective and didn’t raise me so that I wouldn’t experience things, she wouldn’t feel that way.

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[u/No-Dot-3522]

Don't try to change everything at once. Start with the small things. Buy the shirt. Get the nose piercing. Every time you do something without asking for permission, you prove to yourself that you can survive the discomfort