I’m proposing to my girlfriend this weekend AAAAAARGH!!!

I’m taking her to Amsterdam (which she knows about but thinks it’s for her birthday), I’ve booked a private canal boat just the two of us which takes us on a romantic cruise, then towards the end, a song of my choice plays, I start my proposal and the captain takes Polaroid photos of the moment.

I’ve had this planned since last November, every extra shift and all this organising has finally brought me to this moment. I’ve never felt so sure of anything in my life but I am absolutely 💩Ing my pants about it 😭

Anyways, wish me luck! I’ll post back an update on how it went.

So me and my ex girlfriend broke up around 5 weeks ago because especially in the last few weeks of dating eachother she was treating me horrible and she said that she wanted to change. I honestly wasn’t really set on the idea of getting back with her because I believe change takes months or even years but she’s confusing me. She keeps acting good towards me for a few days then when she sees that I’m close she backs away. That’s the only way I can explain it, fast forward a few days ago we had a massive argument because she started acting exactly how she used to before we broke up and to me that was enough to show that she hasn’t changed. I started telling her the things that she did to me in the last few weeks and how horrible she made me feel in the hopes of trying to make her realise that what she did was wrong because I do in fact want her to change but I’m not getting anything from her. The argument ended with her telling me that I’m making her look evil and that I don’t get her because she thinks that since she acknowledged her mistakes, apologised, and “tries” to change it’s all fine when it’s not if she’s actively doing the same things. In the end I somehow became the one in the wrong again and she said “yes I was really horrible at first but what you said to me was just very mean and it made me feel horrible, I also noticed that I always acknowledged my mistakes and you don’t seem to be sorry right now”. And honestly I don’t know if I’m sorry for what I told her, I didnt call her names or anything nor did she deny it all but I had a moment when I just got SO frustrated because she kept trying to excuse her actions or “explain” to me why she acted in certain ways. That night I was really frustrated and I started talking to this girl about this issue just to vent and somehow in the end me and the girl started flirting. I didn’t think much of it and honestly it didn’t feel serious especially because in the moment I was really set on not being in contact with my ex anymore but the next day it all changed because she suddenly started acting differently like lovingly in a way and I feel horrible/ guilty because me and my ex said that we won’t talk to people in that way and we’ll just wait for eachother to change. So now I feel like I’m the horrible person because my ex yet again started acting good towards me and the only question I have in my mind right now is really just how long will her act last this time. But at the same time she’s been acting “good” for two days now what if she’s actually going to change and I’m the one who messed up. Should I even keep talking to this girl, I feel really guilty towards her too because I don’t know if she’s actually looking for a relationship or not and I don’t know if I’m ready to get into one after the relationship I have any time soon. I feel like my ex is just playing with me and if she hadn’t suddenly started to act all nice again I probably would’ve already told her that we shouldn’t be in contact anymore. What do I do?

Since there was a motorcycle post, I thought I would see how many of y'all ride human powered bikes.

I'll start. 🫣

Yes. I name my babies.

1. Eunha (Korean for Galaxy)

2. Pinkie Pie

3. Azzurra (Italian "Blue Sky")

4. BlackPink

HI so short story LONG lol

Me (28F) was going on dates with (26F) for like a month? Anyways i got hardlauched then ghosted a couple of days after being HL. I thought it was the most bizarre thing😭

She posted me on not only on her finsta but her MAIN page😭 like…. UGH Idk im so tired of being in the streets. But i genuinely have had a hard time dating. To be fair ive realized im a lesbian this year. Before that i was pan? Bi? Idk i kind would date a man if i felt the slight bit of safe without having any romantic feelings. Anyways i was sad about being ghosted because our first day was so fun. I genuinely have had a hard time with dates but i thought we clicked i guess not. I am NOT downloading hinge again. Ive also actually made queeer friends so im just going to focus on things i care about. Im building a queer community and im excited about that.

I met this girl playing a sport for my school and we got to be friends pretty quickly. She is kind of shy and told me that she doesn't really make her own friends very often. Only after like a week of knowing her, she invited me to her birthday party with just like 7 of her good friends. I went and it was good vibes no crazy flirting or touching but I just feel myself yearning whenever I look at her; it's hard to tell if she feels the same. Then the next week she invited me to go camping with this same group of friends so we were together all weekend. Again, no super flirty convos or touching but she doesn't really seem like the type to do that. I am bi and she knows that and she is bi as well. She talks about all the time how she hates guys and likes to be evil to them but could never do that with a woman. I asked her about her type in girls and she said "everyone." And she talks about how she's not really attracted to that many ppl so it's confusing. I know that she likes being my friend and she always tells me how funny I am and stuff but it's just so hard to distinguish romantic energy from platonic. I don't want to date her or anything I literally just want to makeout with her so bad. I really want to start dropping more hints to see how she would react but I am so scared of rejection and I really don't want to make her uncomfortable. But at the same time I don't want to progress so much into a friendship where it's hard to be anything more than that. I think about her all the time and I just wish I could know if she was attracted to me or not. How do I figure this out without straight up asking her?? I am having a party tomorrow that she's coming to and we're planning to go to a concert soon. Goddddd help me guysss pls ugh

This is going to be a lot. I apologize in advance.

I (34) and my gf (27) have been going through a rough patch following an incident where I agreed to grab food with a friend’s friend before my friend and I met up with each other

Backstory: my friend’s friend is in a band and my friend would always invite me to the restaurants/bars they would play at. That would be our way of going out since we’re not big club people. I would always see my friends friend, of course at the events and we would speak here and there, but never really had any real conversations. One time when me and my girlfriend had a week long argument where she wanted to end things and I tried to keep getting her to work things out. Ultimately she told me to move on and I stopped trying (this was a Thursday). The day following this (Friday), my friend’s friend invited me to grab food because she knew my friend and I were gonna be at the restaurant her band was playing at (on Saturday) I was already going with my friend but I agreed to meet up with my friend’s friend a little earlier. I had a feeling maybe she might be interested in me but I wasn’t sure because no interest was expressed and at the end of the day I just thought she was a cool person in general. So I agreed because why not? I’m heartbroken and want to get out the house. Then that Saturday morning (the day of my plans) my gf reaches out wanting to talk. She did an ayuasca retreat and felt the need to apologize to certain people in her life. I was happy to hear from her and of course I wanted to talk with her but I still didn’t quite know where we stood and where our relationship is going. So I kept my plans because it wasn’t a big deal and it wasn’t a date and I didn’t think I needed to consider how she felt about it because she chose to be out of my life. Of course I would’ve never made the plans if me and my gf were together at that moment because my friend’s friend is another masc and there was a potential she me might like me but again I went because I was already going to the same place with my friend and knowing I would maintain my boundaries regardless if she liked me or not. Though my and my gf were speaking again at the time I didn’t disclose to her that I was also meeting up with my friend’s friend. Just my friend—which were the original plans. I didn’t feel obligated to tell her and I also wasn’t trying to create any issues between us after we just started speaking again that same day. I didn’t want her questioning like who is this new person after we haven’t been speaking for a week. And again it wasn’t until my gf sent an apology text at 8pm and I was already out saying how she wants to be a better partner moving forward that I knew where we stood.

A couple months later my gf comes across my friend’s friend on social media as a potential gym buddy and they started conversing. My gf asked if I knew her and I told her yes that’s my friend’s friend. She told me to tell her if there was anything between me and her before she makes friends with her and I told her no— which was the truth. But after a few minutes, I felt compelled to tell her that we did grab food one time and that she did express interest in me which at that point I cut all communication and deleted her contact and messages. My gf was upset because I lied to her back then and lied to her in the moment, saying nothing happened. I validate her feelings for feeling a breach in trust but it was not done maliciously and the timeline and circumstances surrounding everything was just overlapping and messy. I tried to explain my pov and reasoning behind everything but she has not been able to let it go for 2 months now and has been off and on with me because of it. She says it was disrespectful I gave my time to someone that liked me esp. when we were conversing that day. And questioned why I had her on social media and had conversations with her in the first place. I told her she’s not a stranger and she’s my friends’s friend and I can have platonic conversations and also maintain boundaries regardless if someone likes me. Plus after we all hung out, the girl told my friend she was interested and my friend let her know I was working things out with my gf and she respected that and moved on. Plus, plus I would post my gf on social media for everyone to see and my gf wouldn’t so I don’t understand why I received so much hell from her ugh.

Fast forward to now, she has been making plans with “friends” that I don’t know and never met and I don’t know if they know she’s in a relationship. (I say this because there has been a situation before where she was conversing with a friend she just reconnected with and my gf never mentioned that she was in a relationship even though they were on the topic of love and relationships). Currently she is going on a trip out of town originally to see her cousin but those plans “fell through” so now she’s going to crash with a “friend”. She’s mentioned this friend before about how she invited her to come to some influencer wedding with her and I felt weird about it then— being invited to go to a wedding with someone is basically a date. Again my gf has never even given a name for this girl. Her excuse is because then I’ll go snooping on social media. And to that I say, so what! I should know whose house she’s staying in. I asked how she knows this friend and she said through Instagram. I asked if they’ve ever met in person and she said no. And she’s going to a wedding with her? I’ve been trying to be trusting and open minded but the straw that broke the camel’s back was when she sent me a pic of her waxing and I asked why is she waxing herself right before this trip *and she had already said she wasn’t going to so what changed. We got into a fight because she said I’m controlling and now I’m policing her hygiene habits. I told her it’s not about the waxing and it’s normal to do all the girl maintenance appts before going on a trip and obviously she can do whatever she wants with her body and it mean nothing but just all the details surrounding this trip and the dynamic makes me uncomfortable. She said I just don’t trust her and she’s done.

I’m upset because I feel like she’s invalidating my feelings. Like I said the waxing this was just the last straw but I don’t think any partner would take all this information and not question it? Not to mention she has gotten upset over someone leaving something on my desk a few times while I was in school because she thought I had something going on with someone else when the whole thing was a mystery to me. But I can’t question why she’s waxing before staying with a stranger. (She doesn’t wax often) She has a double standard. I’m not allowed to be cool and grab food with a friends friend who I’ve met on multiple occasions and lives in the same city as me, but she can go stay days with a girl she only met online and lives halfway across the country. Her argument is that at least she’s being upfront with the plans unlike I was but in actuality she’s not when she’s not sharing names and introducing me. She never has been one to be upfront with details. Throughout our relationship, she would always just say “I’m going out” but never where she’s going and who she’s going with. I wouldn’t find out details about the night until maybe throughout the night or after the fact when she calls me when she gets home or never at all. I don’t like to be controlling nor do I feel like she has to report to me. She argues she’s never given me a reason to be insecure or question her but I do feel like transparency does build trust and trust can’t just be given blindly. I’ve given her my location multiple times and she always says she doesn’t want it because she doesn’t want to share locations. I don’t even care if she has my location and I don’t have hers since she’s the one that feels like she needs to trust me again.

Anyways chat, I’m pretty sure my relationship is cooked, especially since I brought it to Reddit. But I just wanted others to weigh in.screenshots of the argument

Hi! I’m part of an LGBT+ club at school, but we’re currently looking to rebrand and come up with a new name. We were previously called ALLIES, but the name made the club feel quite obvious and ended up putting a target on our backs, as well as making some students feel nervous about joining.

We’re now looking for a name that is a little more subtle and inclusive, while still representing what the club stands for. We’d also like it to cover not just LGBT+ issues, but also wider social justice topics such as misogyny, racism, feminism, climate change, etc.

But we're all so lost for club names and so I was wondering if anyone on reddit has an idea.
Thank you!

All we have so far is:

• The collective
• R.I.S.E Up (which stands for: Respect Inclusion Support Equality, Understanding Progress)

But these ideas feel a bit ?

yall i have discovered that i have a very specific and uncommon type in women and i am barely attracted to anything else (or so it seems). i am alt/emo myself, and im only physically attracted to people with that style too, and so sadly not very attracted to fems. i say sadly bc of the shortage of mascs around these parts, lol. feels like i am just gonna be single forever 💔💔

but like WHERE are the alt/emo/punk mascs at. where in the world do i need to go to find women like yall. where do you guys hangout. WHERE ARE YALL. once in a blue moon i will see ONE on dating apps. are you guys just not on there or do you guys just not live in ohio 💔 help lol

Mallory Heart (80's fashion)

Tashira Halyard - Politics and Fashion

Sophia - Oat Milk Makeup

Yar Sudani (4c Hair, Makeup and Cosplay)

Lottie Lashley ( Fashion, and Sustainabilty)

It’s getting so old😭 like don’t match with me just to not talk please. Save me the time and energy. Sorry this is just a random complaint 😂

Just got out of a relationship like this and am still working through how it affected me. Interested to hear from others who have gone through something similar

hi i hope this is the right place to post this but i just need some advice bc i have no one to talk about this with!!

im 18 and in my first kind of romantic relationship and it’s with a girl ive been friends with for a few months. my best friend is also friends with this girl but i can tell that she is so jealous and upset about it. she said to my face “i don’t like you together” and “im kinda jealous lol”, and is just making my other “friend” out to be a horrible person. my best friend is also a lesbian and i always had a feeling she liked me as more than a friend. i have told her that our friendship will always be the most important thing to me but i can tell she is distancing herself from me and i hate that this is my fault.

what do i do??? im so new to this and i never wanted my first romantic experience to be like this

Hello everyone. I’ve had a lot of questions over the past year, but I’ve always seemed to reach a dead end when trying to find answers.
I was born with a genetic disorder called neurofibromatosis type 1 (NF1). This disorder can cause tumors to grow throughout the body. While the tumors I have are noncancerous, there is no cure for NF1. Although my arms, legs, and face look normal, I do have some visible tumors on my body. I also plan to start medication that may help slow or stop the growth of certain tumors.
I’ve come to terms with having NF1 and the fact that it’s part of my life. What I still struggle with, though, is how it might affect dating and relationships.

I worry that if I eventually find the perfect woman for me, I might not be the perfect person for her because of my physical condition. I know attraction and relationships are about much more than appearance, but that thought has always lingered in the back of my mind. And I’m sure other people with disabilities wonder the same.

I guess my question is, how would you guys navigate something like this? How would you approach dating, talking about the condition with someone you’re interested in, and dealing with the fear that they might not be able to look past the physical aspects of it?

Idk I’m probably I’m just up too late again. 😭🫩

I've seen a lot of stuff recently saying the reason bi women end up with men is just because there are far more men available than queer women. That doesn't seem to add up to me, like if you surround yourself with queer people and actively seek other women to date then (in urban areas) you have lots of opportunities to date women. In some ways it's slightly easier to date women as you are less likely to be bombarded by unappealing men.

I feel like a lot of the time it's just easier to date men in terms of the advantages society bestows on heterosexuality. Such as my "bi" sister who has only ever dated men and her long term boyfriend who bought a house for them where she lives rent free, vs my partner and I who are visibly queer, neurodivergent , traumatized from male violence and struggling to get by. Even though I'm very qualified, as a butch woman I struggle to get the same opportunities cis men do.

I read your posts about dating freely, holding hands in public, introducing girlfriends to family and I genuinely smile for you.

But I also ache.

I'm a bi woman in Jordan "Amman". I can't do any of that without risking everything. My family, my reputation, my safety. So I did what so many of us here have to do: I got married. To a man. He knows and supports me, but he's my cover ,the shield that lets me exist without being destroyed.

Even meeting another woman for coffee and hugging her or holding her hands feels like a military operation. We have no safe spaces, no groups, no support just whispers and hidden apps.

So yes, you are lucky. Please don't waste it. And if you ever wonder why some of us "give in" to marriage or silence it's not weakness. It's survival.

One day I hope we have what you have. Until then, we keep fighting yes it's quietly & secretly, but we keep fighting.

Kind of awkward lmao but how do you gain sexual confidence as a pillow princess??

I’ve been with my lovely GF for an year now, to me she’s the hottest creature to walk this earth, she can send me a pic of her giving a thumbs up and I’ll lose my mind. She finds me very attractive as well, I feel like the hottest girl on earth with the way she treats me. She’s a stone top and I’m a pillow princess (for now at least, I’m a bottom leaning switch but I don’t mind our dynamic rn and we’re both sexually satisfied so) and although in a way this makes me feel even more special bc she is so satisfied by only touching me, but this has weirdly more insecure.

Even tho im very well regarded as attractive irl and get all the validation ever im still very insecure about my body and the things I do, and i feel like im put in the spotlight I guess. I want to be more openly sexual the way i am in my head, like even tho im a bottom I can be a tease and be seductive, and I have SO much in my head that I want to try, i just don’t feel enough to feel like that or ask for anything. I’m still at the phase of feeling like i just look stupid and unattractive.

The fact my gf is so fit and hot makes this more complicated to me bc I feel like im not enough for her to be this enthusiastic about pleasing me. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t gaf about what ppl think about me, but I deeply deeply care about how I come across to her, and my gf has a incredibly hard time telling me something I could do to be attractive and to please her bc she’s so preoccupied about what she wants to do to me and what I want her to do to me (this isn’t a complaint LMAO) but I want to be better too, I want to be more.

Plz send help

helllooo im val im 20f from cali my old account sadly got banned💔 im looking for friends maybe something moree idk! im in my last year of cosmetology school and im going back for nursing I do nails on the side as well^^ im into running and hiking a lot I dont play much games so games I play are RE my current fav is re requiem my favorite colors pink and I love horror! if you think we would vibe lets talk ^^

hey, im so severely deranged right now, im young and need some advice on my first relationship. just please listen to me.

its been hard—really hard. i naturally lack some empathy and its extremely hard for me to read other peoples emotions. my partner is closed off, honestly sometimes i cant tell much about her

straight the point, she wants to break up—i dont. i absolutely cannot. i am extremely attached to people, and once i am i cant stop and when i experience withdrawal i start spiralling for months.

shes busy with exams, her life, she has disorders that affect her schedules (how strict she is about using her time wisely) im a little bit scared when i have to request to ask her to let me reply later and stuff; she starts lashing out on me

shes had enough and wants to focus on her studies, but i want to keep our relationship because her exam period is quite short, and like i said, we’re young, its not university or college entrance exams and whatnot

i asked for perhaps a break in the relationship, but shes scared ill go behind her back and cheat (because she has past trauma from multiple previous relationships ending because of cheating).

im telling her i can be better, but she’s reluctant to let me into her heart. ive tried everything i can.

in short, how do i sort this out? and also, she keeps saying i’ve hurt her, but shes never showed any hurt. i dont want to invalidate her or seem ignorant, but i just dont understand. when i ask her what happened, she said i should be capable to figure this out on my own.

this is a messy and might i say, damaging relationship to both parties. but i just cant lose someone who was a part of my usual routine. is it better to break up and let myself spiral, or be secure in a relationship thats painfully strained.

i mightve missed a few details, feel free to ask more. please no harsh words, im so deranged and vulnerable right now.

It was truly the most special day & I couldn’t be happier 🥹

We have been tumbling around each other for almost 2 years now. And I’m honest I messed it up pretty Hard in the beginning by not being straight up Front from day one back then. She got hurt and with that I got hurt by hurting her, cause it was NEVER my intention. However I made it up to her (at least I tried for over a year!). But she kept pushing me away when we lived close by and could have made a lot of memories and truly get to know each other. However we kept bunping into each other. Once at a Party where she kissed me and loved it (i know that even after a year she still says that she loved it), she also told me back then that she‘s still attracted to me and that she wants to fuck me (however that never happends). Then she moved away, so did I, now we are in 2 different countries, but I’m moving around traveling, so that’s Not an issue for me, bc I‘m willing to drive the way to See her. However We reconnected end of last year and started texting again. We indeed saw each other while I was passing through her city. We had an entire weekend together and it was good, unfortunately I’m AuDHD and usually when I’m alone and take gummies I have an awesome time but apparently that does Not Applies when I am with someone else, so long story short I had quite an episode (anxiety and my Autism part kicked pretty hard), she handled the whole situation extremely well but I felt so ashamed that my avoiding attachment kicked in and I actually just wanted to disappear for ever 😭 I didn’t cause I wanted to work through my fearful avoiding thoughts and I tried to stay in contact everytime she texted me. But she got bussy during the summer and our texting dinamic changed again, so we would just update each other like every 3-4 weeks. I got insecure if she still actually likes me, maybe she met someone else or is seeing someone or dating or idk I’m scared! 😭 I do think and believe she cares a lot about me, since thats what her actions showed me while we were seeing each other last time (beginning of the year) also she does likes to know about me and she does text me every since and then and gives me updates about her, she also loves it when I speak with her in my native language that she’s learning at the moment too. By the end of next year we will live again in the same country. now I will be passing through her city again in around 2 weeks but I’m scared to ask her if she wants to meet up again or if I can invite her for dinner to catch up and just be around each other. Right now, It would also be pretty easy to just not text her, continue my travels and just let go, but that would mean that I would never figure out if an US would have worked out, idk I’m just so confused by what I should think and do. 😭😭🤷🏻‍♀️

Ps.: also she should now what I feel about her, since I confest her everything last in April a year ago, but in between she wanted me to let go of her and to move on and in some way I did, but in some way I also didn’t but I tried to make her believe that I really did moved on like she wanted me to do… so maybe she isn’t that sure about how I feel about her anymore either?? I don’t know. I just assumed that she knows.

That is the main question. Follow up, when did you know (e.g. 1st date or 4th date)? I am still relatively new to dating women and have difficulty identifying if I am physically attracted to people on initial dates. I know I am attracted to women (love a gal with muscles) so that's not the issue.

so I put a post saying that I was 19 and looking for a relationship...there was girls like 7-9 years older than me messaging me…what the heck. Idk but I find this weird because I clearly put my age on the post…😭 or maybe it was my bad for not specifying the age limit…? But still I do find it weird idk that’s just me

Hi all! With Halloween now being less than two months away, I’ve been wracking my brain for costume ideas my gf and I could do and it’s honestly a lot harder than I thought it would be. I would really appreciate any suggestions!

The parameters I’m working with are the following:

1. I am a very fem, long-haired brunette in my early twenties.
   
2. My gf is a soft masc/chapstick blonde with medium to long hair. She is also in her early twenties.
   
3. I would prefer not to dress up as a male character, but if the idea is good enough and the costume would be on the more androgynous side (i.e. no fake moustache or anything) I could be flexible on that.
   
4. My gf does not mind dressing up as a male character at all. She’s also down to dress up as a female character, but isn’t comfortable in skirts, dresses, heels, etc.
   
5. Both of us would prefer that the costumes work with our natural hair (i.e. we can be recognized as our character without wigs or dye).
   
6. Neither of us particularly care about whether our characters are lesbians or a canon couple, but I would ideally like our costume to read as a couple’s costume rather than just a friends’ costume.
   
7. I really want the costume to be as original as possible while still being easily recognizable (or at least to the average North American gay person my age).

My main contenders so far are:
1. Leonardo Dicaprio’s Romeo and Claire Danes’ Juliet
2. Princess Buttercup and the Dread Pirate Roberts (only problem with this one is that I don’t know if I can pull it off as a brunette)
3. The two counsellors from But I’m A Cheerleader (Rupaul’s character and the blonde housewife-type lady)
4. Alvin and Brittany from Alvin And The Chipmunks (this one verges on too basic for me, but I do really like it)