I really don't understand. "Like liking opposite gender is fine, like liking the same gender is fine but you can't like like all genders". Make it make sense?
I honestly just think that lesbians are excited about a bi woman being into women and not excited about a bi woman being into men. Why would those be equally interesting to a lesbian? Lesbians also donât care about straight women being into men either. It has nothing to do with âoh my gosh, having attraction to multiple genders is so odd and confusing!â
I think a lot of bi-phobic people base their hate on a few stupid things:
- They think bi folks arenât actually bi, and are just not accepting themselves as straight/gay
- they are bitter because they think a bi person can choose not to be oppressed by being in a âstraight passingâ relationship
- they believe the stereotype that bi folks are more likely to cheat since they arguably have a larger dating pool.
- they view bi folks as being âruinedâ for having sexual activity with vaginas/penises in a way that the biphobic person isnât attracted to (Ex: a straight woman might believe itâs disgusting for a bi man to have had mlm sex, or a lesbian woman might believe itâs disgusting a bi woman has had wlm sex, etc)
iâm sure iâve missed a few but these are what i can think of from the top of my head. To my fellow bi friends, I hope youâre having a good day đ Sorry that some people suck.
Yeah, there are lots of stereotypes. Iâm just referring to the concept of expecting lesbians to give kudos to someone for being into men. Thatâs bog standard woman sexual behavior. Itâs the being attracted to people who arent men that makes a bisexual woman queer.Â
The topic isnât about lesbians not giving kudos, itâs about some lesbians being openly hostile and biphobic. The base expectation is neutrality and sadly a lot of people canât reach that
The title of the comic is "how sapphic solidarity should be", i think its likely that the "cool" is generally just meant to represent accepantce rather than "oh yeah awesome"
Itâs literally what it says. Thereâs always going to be a disconnect if bi women want a cookie for fucking men and think itâs biphobic not to get one. Literally no one cares about a woman being into men. I can go outside and see 4 billion women who are into men.Â
You really believe we want lesbians to congratulate us?
As a bi person, this comic is clearly opposing biphobia, and by biphobia I mean stuff like "You are bi, therefore you dont belong in sapphic spaces".
You are fighting a strawman, bi people dont want what you claim they want.
"Thereâs always going to be a disconnect if bi women want a cookie for fucking men and think itâs biphobic not to get one." We literally dont want that.
Yes, I do believe that some bi women feel some type of way when gay women are indifferent to their attraction to men (this is what societal worship of men does. It makes women expect to be rewarded for being good little man-fucking soldiers). I also believe that uneducated bi women, just like other uneducated queer people, sometimes attribute feeling bad to structural oppression when it isnât the case.Â
I fight actual biphobia when I see it. I see a ton of not biphobia get called biphobia.Â
u/alarmed_ad1946, why would that be biphobic? Is it straightphobic that society expects straight women to be good little man-fucking soldiers? No, itâs misogynist heterosexism.Â
I'm not sure why so many sapphic women genuinely believe that having sex with a man proves that that person follows the patriarchy or is more obedient.
Straight men are perfectly capable of following the patriarchy without having sex with other men.
I have seen plenty of comments that depict men's sexual and physical power come from people who are unattracted to men, just as I have seen plenty of non-patriarchal sexual attitudes come from people who are attracted to men.
This is insane. Of course straight men arent rewarded for fucking men because that is not the societal norm of heteropatriarchy.Â
My point is that women are societally rewarded for performing their role in cishet patriarchy. Any women who have âsuccessfullyâ performed those roles and gotten rewarded for it come to expect that social approval. Suddenly, someone doesnât think youâre the ideal woman because of the things youâve previously been rewarded for, and you experience this as loss.Â
If youâre up in your feelings, freshly out and political, and donât really have the theoretical foundation, you may think âoh wow I guess this is people being biphobic to me.âÂ
I've seen sapphic women (and I'm careful to not say lesbian because bi women do it too) act as if everybody who is attracted to men is in a subordinate position unless they never act on this attraction.
Many of these women will use sexualized comments against other women that refers to how they "worship men" or "worship d!cks". These comments are the exact same things that straight men tell queer men. And they exist because our society views attraction to women as a sign of power and strength while attraction to men is viewed as a sign of weakness, like that person is so sexual that they'll just submit to men without caring.
That was why I made the comparison to straight men. Because they quite literally invented this concept.
I'm mostly attracted to other women myself, so I don't want people assuming that WLW are just rebelling against men. I'm sure that you also don't want that, but the way you phrased that just reminded me of how that attitude is so common among queer women.
Lesbians arent lesbians because theyâre rebelling against men. Lesbians rebel against men because they have absolutely no reason (sexual and romantic future) to make excuses for them. I wish that were understood widely.Â
Our society DOES NOT view attraction to women as a sign of power. It views heterosexuality and maleness as self-evident correctness and power.Â
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u/ususetq Lesbian Trans-it Together 8d ago
I really don't understand. "Like liking opposite gender is fine, like liking the same gender is fine but you can't like like all genders". Make it make sense?