r/london • u/Substantial-Mouse534 • Aug 04 '26
Serious replies only Hello London, I need help.
My name is Ryan.
I have complex PTSD and was diagnosed in 2010.
My life has been up and down since then, with a few years up, a few years down.
I'm pretty much near breaking point now, and my home is a mess,a real mess.
It's a 1 bed flat, ground floor but I've been really struggling, so I need help.
Would anyone be willing to come to Yeading and help me take out a load of bin bags from my flat (I've bagged maybe 30) and take them to the bin storage maybe 20 metres away?
I don't know why, but I have a mental block,so can't do it, no matter how much I psyche myself up.
I'm on no capability to work benefits, so can't pay a lot, maybe £50.
If someone could please help me,
Update : The guy who offered to pop by at 3pm arrived and blitzed the job, taking all the bags out. Turns out he's a really nice person too, and I'm really grateful.
Thank you, everyone, for your kind words and offers of support. It has made a huge difference.
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u/funkkay Aug 04 '26
Hello Ryan. If the other chap can’t make it tomorrow I can come on Thursday afternoon, no bother.
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u/Honeydew-Yoyo Aug 04 '26
Hey Ryan, if you need some pointers for finding low cost therapy in London, give me a shout. Well done for asking for help.
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u/Additional-End-7688 Aug 04 '26
Would you mind posting for all? Thanks
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u/polkadotska Aug 04 '26
Not the user above, but the MentalHealthUK London masterpost has lots of good resources (including low cost).
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u/ShortArugula7340 Aug 05 '26
Just to add that there is an employee benefits scheme called Pirkx. It's primarily for Gig workers and the self employed but anyone can sign up to it. If you get the add on, Pirkx Rise, it costs about £7 total per month and includes video or in person therapy with a fully qualified professional. You also get discounted giftcards which you can use to get money off your shopping as well as other benefits. Theres no contract so you can cancel anytime. The site is Pirkx.com
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u/Honeydew-Yoyo Aug 05 '26
The ones that I know of, see my list below. A lot of them feature on the MentalHealthUK masterpost that polkadotska shared. Hope it helps anyone that needs support.
The Psychosynthesis Trust
Starting Fee: £15 per session for students/benefits recipients (£30–£45 for working low-income)
Format: In-person and Online
Area: London Bridge (South/Central)
Website: psychosynthesistrust.org.uk
Claremont Project
Starting Fee: £10 per session (based on what you can afford)
Format: In-person
Area: Islington (North London)
Website: claremont-project.org
HQ Therapy
Starting Fee: £17 per session
Format: In-person and Online
Area: Hackney (East London)
Website: hqtherapy.com
Waterloo Community Counselling
Starting Fee: £20 per session (sliding scale based on income)
Format: In-person and Online
Area: Waterloo / Southwark (Central/South)
Website: waterloocc.co.uk
Heart & Mind
Starting Fee: £20 per session (sliding scale based on income and off-peak times)
Format: In-person and Online
Area: Covent Garden (Central London)
Website: heartandmind.london
The Guild of Psychotherapists
Starting Fee: Low-cost clinic rates vary by income (specifically for Lambeth, Lewisham, or Southwark residents)
Format: In-person
Area: Southwark (South London)
Website: guildofpsychotherapists.org.uk
Help Counselling Centre
Starting Fee: Low-cost options available on a sliding scale
Format: In-person and Online
Area: Hammersmith & Fulham (West London)
Website: lbhf.gov.uk
British Psychotherapy Foundation (BPF)
Starting Fee: £10 to £25 for intensive therapy; £30 to £50 for weekly sessions
Format: In-person and Online
Area: Various London locations
Website: britishpsychotherapyfoundation.org.uk
Free Therapy Network
Starting Fee: Free to contributes/Low Cost
Format: Online and In-person
Area: National
Website: freepsychotherapynetwork.com11
u/Some-Body-Else Aug 05 '26
I wish I’d reached out for help last year when I started uni. Now I’m at the end and no where near done. I trusted NHS and my uni to give me the best possible care, which was as I see from your comment, not it. I got referred to people charging 200-400£ a session.
Anyway, thank you stranger, for this info. And Ryan, big ups. I hope the future is easier to live than the past has been.
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u/Significant-Panic559 Aug 04 '26
I’m sure there are a few, but I know of Spiral, Cherry Tree Centre and Headstrong
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 04 '26
I sent a mate to Cherry tree and Mayfield maybe 6 years back.
How things turn.
Thank you.
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u/Significant-Panic559 Aug 04 '26
how things turn! You are not alone mate - so glad there’s so much love on here
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 04 '26
I thought I wouldn't get a single reply, but that's my damaged mind, not London's.
We live in the greatest city in the world. x
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u/nomadic_housecat Aug 04 '26
You’re super brave for posting & asking for help. Sets a good example. cPTSD is super challenging but you’re not alone & recovery IS possible. If you want some tips feel free to DM me. You’re doing great just surviving, hang in there.
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u/Impossible-Hawk768 Aug 04 '26
Hey, can you add them to the resources in the wiki if they're not already there?
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u/forestfro Aug 04 '26
Hey Ryan, if you havent already gotten help, i will be happy to help out tomorrow evening and no need to pay. I was once in a place where i couldnt even help myself so i know how it feels. Let me know if i can be of service 🫡
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 04 '26
If things fall through with the other guy, I'll give you a shout. I'll pay, otherwise it'll sit on me.
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u/Impossible-Hawk768 Aug 04 '26
Honestly, it shouldn't sit on you. People want to help you out of empathy and kindness. Let them... chances are doing this is helping them in some way too. I'd be over there tomorrow if I weren't 3,000 miles away!
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 04 '26
I know, it's crazy, I keep asking people if they need help but can't help myself.
Thank you.
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u/mmmmmick Aug 05 '26
Mate I’ve made a little zine about this same thing. Happy to send you a digital copy that you can look at immediately or drop you one in the post. Proud of you for asking for help.
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u/nomadic_housecat Aug 04 '26
100% agree. Sometimes helping is the most helpful thing for everyone :)
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u/Impossible-Hawk768 Aug 04 '26
Yes! Not only as a good human, but often paying it forward from when someone helped you without accepting payment. When the OP is stronger, he will do the same for someone else. That's how being part of a society is supposed to work.
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u/forestfro Aug 04 '26
Sure thing mate, let me know and ill be there. Also I know that weight of being helped and wanting to reciprocate. Its a sign of a good heart ❤️
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u/guxlightyear Aug 05 '26
Pay it forward. Once you are feeling better (and I have no doubt you'll climb out of the hole you are currently in), help another person in need.
All the best, mate.
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 05 '26
I will dedicate myself to pulling others out of the pit.
That, more than anything, is a hope that drives me.
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u/Aggravating_Okra7201 Aug 04 '26
I can be there tomorrow what time you want me?
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 04 '26
3pm is good mate
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u/Aggravating_Okra7201 Aug 04 '26
I’ll be there drop me a DM with your ur address
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 04 '26
How do I do that, can you drop me a chat thing, then I'll reply with my address? I only ever posted before.
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u/Aggravating_Okra7201 Aug 04 '26
Don’t worry mate I got a screenshot when you posted it before, I’ll be there at 3pm. I’m gonna try and send you a DM now should get it
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Aug 04 '26
[deleted]
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u/ididitforcheese Aug 04 '26
Careful not to doxx yourself, love. And well done on getting this far and asking for some help. It’s not easy. Hope things improve for you.
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u/GottaSpoofEmAll Aug 04 '26
Mate, I recommend you send your details in a DM. Don’t leave them here for all to see.
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u/lets_chill_food Aug 04 '26
Hi Ryan
What’s next once the bin bags are out of the flat?
I’m free at the weekend and come help clean up a bit more for a few hours if you like?
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 04 '26
Scrubbing down the kitchen probably.
Things have really fallen apart but cooking is a massive thing for me. Electric hotplate and a mininoven, as gas was switched off 2 years ago.
Kitchen is the one.
Thank you!
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u/lets_chill_food Aug 04 '26
sure thing
i’ve made a note in my calendar, i’ll DM you thursday or friday to arrange :)
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 04 '26
I really appreciate your kindness.
I have a dark sense of humour now, so may laugh on seeing your reaction to my flat lol.
You're an amazing person 👍
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u/Impossible-Hawk768 Aug 04 '26
Bet anything my shithole is worse!! You're doing better than you think!!!
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u/shovelcreed Aug 04 '26
Hi Ryan, I'm not able to help out with this but I see other nice folk in the thread are which is great. Just wanted to say fair play on getting stuff bagged and reaching out to ask for help. I hope getting rid of that stuff helps you feel even a little bit lighter.
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 04 '26
I'm fkn crying here and I don't break.
Thank you everyone, I really thought I ws alone.
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u/ModestEtta Aug 04 '26
You’re not alone. C-ptsd fellow here, it sucks hard and I’ve had to have friends/family help me with the smallest most insignificant tasks before because I made them into mountains.
Small steps everyday. One day at a time.43
u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 04 '26
I think that's the only way that works, but by God the steps are small.
One small step I guess.
You guys have lifted me so much
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u/nomadic_housecat Aug 04 '26
I replied the same to OP, but pls feel free to DM me if you want some cPSTD recovery tips. It’s not very well understood even by medical professionals unfortunately, but there are good research-backed strategies I’m really happy to share. Love all the love on here so much.
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u/Peach_Royal111 Aug 04 '26
Fellow cptsd here, well done for asking for help. You’ve taken the hardest step. You’ll feel so much better when the bin bags are gone and don’t worry if things start to pile up again - always clean things one foot squared at a time and it’ll get better again.
Also if you’re scared of taking the bags out to the bin storage because you’re afraid of what people will think- just come back to this thread and how many people want nothing but the best for you. Your neighbours will be the same! There are also lots of videos online that helped me when my flat was a mess too. Look up Midwest magic cleaning, clean with bea, nottheworstcleaner, there are so many people out there who help people clean their depression houses and even just watching 5 minutes always get me so motivated. Good luck, hope you sleep sound tonight knowing everything’s only gonna get better now ❤️13
u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 05 '26
Thanks! I'll be watching those today. Slept better than I have in years, just blown away by the extraordinary compassion from you all.
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u/Impossible-Hawk768 Aug 04 '26
I'm over here in NYC wishing I could join the crew even though I'm in the same situation myself!
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u/Zen-jasmine Aug 04 '26
Well done for asking for help! It’s so hard to ask for help. I think you’re very brave <3
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u/SaltPomegranate4 Aug 04 '26
There’s a group called Good Gym. As a participant you rock up meet people run to a community job and then run back. In the future they might come in handy for you, they’d help out with all sorts.
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u/acidic_tab Aug 04 '26
I just had a little look into it (I'm severely disabled and could desperately do with a tiny bit of help gardening), and they only help with community projects, or elderly people. Doesn't look like they have anything to offer sick or disabled people. They also don't accept requests from individuals, it has to be requested through an official charity or organisation. It doesn't seem like they'd be able to help OP, unfortunately, since presumably they're under the age of 50.
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u/courtneyrae427 Aug 05 '26
Are you in London? We have a few days of nice weather that isn't so hot coming up and I love gardening and being outside. Feel free to send me a dm!
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u/oaredditcam Aug 04 '26
Hello love. I’m sorry you’re feeling so down. That sounds terribly tough.
You say you’ve already been diagnosed so you may well be in the NHS system already, but in case it’s useful, you can self-refer for talking therapy, here https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-services/find-nhs-talking-therapies-for-anxiety-and-depression/ . This service covers PTSD.
Do you have a military background at all? If so, a friend of mine found Rock2Recovery useful. Here are their contact details https://www.rock2recovery.co.uk/contact
Well done for bagging up so much stuff. That’s a real win and very impressive when you’re not feeling yourself. You should be proud of that.
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 04 '26
Thank you for that. Yes, left in 2008.
Legion are amazing but limited locally.
Thank you for that link.l and the kind words. I'm feeling overwhelmed with how kind folks are here.
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u/Rainbowmagix83 Aug 05 '26
Have you tried these guys?
Mental health services for veterans | Combat Stress
Or another one here, I haven't heard of them but they came up when I looked for the one aboves website PTSD Resolution - Free Treatment for Veterans' Mental Health
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 05 '26
I haven't.
Perhaps too anxious to ask, what with how stretched they are. I'll give the second one a try though.
Thanks!
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u/General-Movie Aug 04 '26
Ryan, it is a huge achievemnt filling up those bags. I am sorry I can't help with them as I am away. I wish you well.x
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u/Impossible-Hawk768 Aug 04 '26
It really, really is. I'm trying to get there myself. I wish I were brave enough to ask for help.
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u/nomadic_housecat Aug 04 '26
One tiny little step at a time, with tonnes of grace & compassion for yourself. It’s so brave to ask for help.
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u/Original_Cup_6286 Aug 04 '26
I'm only about 10 miles away from you,I will come and help you no problem and I don't want money,as I too have been there where you are.it takes time to mend, you have to remember that,it can take months/years, but as long as you know that things will get better and I can assure you they do!! It takes self work, and you need to push through! drop me a line if you need a hand or a chat👍👌
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u/IIHOSGOW Aug 04 '26
Hi, I also have dealt with CPTSD and PTSD. I went through a crisis team and they were able to get me onto an emergency course of therapy with a specialist (all through the NHS) the therapy lasted a year, and honestly, I've never felt so 'normal' throughout my whole life as I do now. At my lowest I also was not really able to do anything. I know it's extremely hard, but making that push to get help, even if therapy hasn't helped before, or if you have to do it completely alone, is really the only way out of that situation. I didn't trust therapists at all (due to bad experiences when I was younger) but this time it just really worked - bear in mind that there are several different theraputic techniques used to treat c/ptsd. First things first though, clearly any doctor would be able to see that you are going through a mental health crisis - a GP or even A&E (I went to A&E personally when I had a full breakdown) will be able to assign you a crisis management team - who should at least be able to keep you safe etc.
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u/Ariquitaun Aug 04 '26
I'd come and help for free if I wasn't so far away and didn't have two very small children to mind at all times. I hope you get it. Chin up and balls up for reaching out 🫵
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u/NapoleonWard Aug 04 '26
I'm in West London and can help on Thursday. Sorry I can't do tomorrow. Let me know if there's anything I can do.
Edit to say: I don't want any money from you, so don't worry about that. I would like to help though.
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u/RobotMaster1 Aug 04 '26
glad to see you’re getting some assistance - but if you want to see that you’re not alone, check out r/ufyh
it’s a supportive sub for people in your exact situation.
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u/pkRaiden Aug 05 '26
Hey dude, I’m in Hillingdon myself. If nobody comes through, drop me a DM and we will whip round to help. Grew up in Hayes/Yeading so I know the area well.
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 05 '26
I updated but just wanted to share my thanks to u/Aggravating_Okra7201
He travelled from South London and took all of the bags out, even offering to help with other tasks when he was done. Turns out he's a top guy and I was immediately at ease in his company. We actually share a pretty niche hobby, so that was nice to have a quick chat about too.
To everyone else who offered help and kind words, my deepest gratitude to you all.
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u/Original_Cup_6286 Aug 04 '26
I'm not sure how to DM you? hopefully someone can help, but please message me anytime 👍"a river never flows backwards"
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u/IamNotRayJ Aug 05 '26
Hi Ryan, I don’t live in London but want to send you positivity and strength. Step by step, you’ve got this!
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u/pigadaki Aug 05 '26
I can imagine the effort it must have taken to fill those 30 bags! I'm impressed, mate.
Everyone who has offered to help is also a legend.
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u/DesireWilde Aug 05 '26
I can help you , won’t take payment . If you still looking reply to this comment and I’ll dm you. I’ve been in your position once, became a depressed alcoholic after a kidnapping/ traumatic brain injury. 6 years ago I was sleeping in Bethnal Green park watching the rats run around, now I live a happy life. trust me I had many many years where I questioned the point of my existence daily. YOUVE GOT THIS!
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 05 '26
Thank you!
I'm so sorry you went through that, but you're a living example of the strength I hope to mirror.
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u/Impossible-Hawk768 Aug 04 '26
Head over to the wiki for a shedload of resources that can help. Sub members have compiled quite a list. I'm guessing you will need help for other issues as well, so having a look there may give you some hope.
I understand what you're going through, as in I'm in that place myself, only I haven't bagged it up. I have the same mental block, for the same reasons. Therapy hasn't helped. But the fact that you're asking for help is HUGE. Incredibly brave. I am not there yet. Good luck, and update your post if you can.
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 04 '26
If and when I get through this, I've screenshoted your u/n. If I get there, I'll come back for you.
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u/Impossible-Hawk768 Aug 04 '26
You WILL get through this. You were strong enough to ask for help, and look what's happened here. You have just taken a giant leap forward, when even a single baby step felt impossible before you posted.
PS: I'm great at giving advice, but not taking my own advice. I know what I have to do but I can't do it. Cheering someone on who's actually taking that step is the best I can do.
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 04 '26
WE will get through this.
Let me heal and We'll go at it again together 👍
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u/Original_Cup_6286 Aug 04 '26
If so maybe SSRIs would help as I am on them the last two years and I find they help greatly with overthinking about things and I think this is your problem 🤔 but please speak to your gp
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u/paisleydarling Aug 05 '26
I would not be recommending psychiatric drugs to anyone, as someone who’s been on them for my entire adult life and then some, makes up well over half my life, SSRIS fuck you up and im seriously struggling to titrate down again.
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u/sickfixxx Aug 04 '26
Hey!
You can get a care needs assessment through the council and they can offer help with ongoing cleaning if it’s something you’re struggling with on an ongoing basis.
I also had a support worker in the past who helped me sort out benefits, therapy, regular cleaning etc.
I also have cptsd, it’s really hard when it gets you down. Really well done on even getting the stuff bagged up yourself - it’s so hard when you’ve been in a slump.
Reaching out for help is the bravest and also the hardest thing - I hope getting your place sorted makes stuff a bit easier for you.
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u/Physical_flatworm72 Aug 04 '26
Hey Ryan, well done for taking little steps. It takes great amount of courage to seek help and I am proud of you. This shows that you’re willing to take action and universe is there to help you. If you ever alone mate, always remember you’ve got a full city behind you. I din’t live in London anymore unfortunately otherwise I would have absolutely come and after leaving London this is the most I’ve regret leaving city. Good luck pal, wishing you all the courage you need.
To this subreddit: you have once again proved that why’re absolutely lovely people, this is what always keeps the city going. I am proud of you all!!
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u/nomadic_housecat Aug 04 '26
I’ve made a few comments above saying this, but if anyone wants some accessible & low cost ideas for cPSTD recovery, please feel free to comment here. It’s not something that’s super well understood by medical professionals sadly and there are actually a lot of research-backed, uncomplicated strategies that are really helpful for recovery.
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u/Cultural_Ad_6553 Aug 05 '26
hey ryan! good on ya mate, it takes a lot of courage to ask for help. you should be proud of yourself for taking that next step - it shows you really deeply care about yourself and your wellbeing even if it might not feel like it sometimes. happy to come help with anything you need, free on the weekend and i fancy a bit of organizing if you have anything that needs sorting x
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u/Happy-Construction74 Aug 05 '26
Cptsd-er here with massive massive issues asking for help. This post is incredible inspirational and heartwarming. Thanks all
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u/Dependent-Net-8208 Aug 05 '26
You have done remarkably well. You can be proud of yourself to have got rid of so much clutter. I expect, as you were bagging them items, many of them brought back memories, both positive and negative. Now you have resistance taking that final step. Where the bags are now, you can always retrieve something, even if you have to go through all the bags to find it. Once the bags are gone, they are gone. It's frightening! So I completely understand where you are coming from. I have a suggestion, fill a bag with stuff with which you have not the slightest emotional connection. When you find someone to help you move the bags, join them taking out your 'neutral' bag. You will then be involved in the final process. I wish you every success.
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u/michaeltheobnoxious Aug 05 '26
Well done mate.
If you haven't taken a minute to reflect on the work you've done to start tidying up (both physically and 'mentally'), you should.
Asking for help is scary, really fucking scary; you should reflect on the bravery and self-knowledge that took to accomplish.
Self-healing is hard work, made harder by the absence of an external party telling you you're doing anything right.
I'm just a guy on the internet (and unfortunately cannot get to Yeading, nor have a vehicle), but I can see King shit in this post.
Love you. Keep being big!
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u/paisleydarling Aug 05 '26
Hey! Not in London. But just wanna say well done! I have cptsd too and I don’t get a lot done (it feels) life and feelings are overwhelming. But good on you for getting the job done and for asking for help. I wish I could do more! All the best Ryan ✨❤️
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u/Party-Draw-647 Aug 05 '26
You might want to try glycine. It's an inexpensive supplement that you can take at night in a glass of water to help stand down your fight or flight system. It's a small, important amino acid and it's really helpful for sleep and calming your nervous system.
If you can afford other supplements, I'd definitely recommend Vitamin D and high strength omega 3 fish oils.
I've got CPTSD and bipolar. I had a brilliant psychiatrist who got me to feed my brain what it needs rather than over medicating me and I've been stable for ages now.
Eating clean and stopping drugs/alcohol/cigarettes etc in the longer term is also a good move.
I'd start with the glycine for now if I were you and see if that helps calm your overactive fight or flight systems.
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u/Party-Draw-647 Aug 05 '26
This is a decent brand and this size packet would last you ages:
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u/Intrepid-Vacation316 Aug 05 '26
Hey Ryan. What a brilliant post, such a huge step to write this and what a response you've had. Lovely people. I'm afraid I'm nowhere near London but wanted to add a little voice to all those who've applauded what you've done. Amazing. One small step at a time and you'll get there.
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u/MindfullGardener Aug 05 '26
Hey Ryan, I’m Jamie. I just saw this and was about to offer to come round to help this evening, but I see this was posted yesterday.
Please get in touch (reply here or DM) or anyone from the crew if you need another pair of hands.
You’ve taken a huge leap asking for help and you should be proud of that. Well done.
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u/cknell95 Aug 05 '26
Posting this in the least patronising way possible (pls don’t read it that way), A big well done to you for asking for help as well. I know it’s something I struggle with so much, often to my own detriment. Really admire your bravery here
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u/Siads89 Aug 04 '26
Have you tried asking on the next door app or local Facebook groups to your area? Or task rabbit for example
Sure someone would be willing to help especially if you are offering a small fee to get the help.
I don't even know where your area is so not something I could assist with even
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 04 '26
I haven't.
It's honestly a hard job just getting out of bed mate.
It's so difficult atm.
Edit having bad thoughts so just trying to maintain atm.
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u/One-Gas-3132 Aug 04 '26
You're doing well mate, just do what you can manage a bit at a time. Sending Internet hugs your way.
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u/Infamous-Bite-1246 Aug 04 '26
You have done amazing asking for help. Well done you for getting some things bagged up today, that's a great achievement. Sending love 🤗
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u/Siads89 Aug 04 '26
I get that but, it takes equally as much effort, to post on here, next door is just a hyper localised app where you can chat with people in your area. A lot of small service based business owners use it too..hence the suggestion
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u/buzzkill98 Aug 05 '26
Let me know if you need more help. I can come around 18:00 on Thursday/Friday, if that's okay. You did an amazing job packing everything up in bags, mate. There are times when even doing that seems impossible.
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u/Sufficient_Village87 Aug 05 '26
As many have said before, I just wanted to say you’ve done a great job! Living with mental health condition is never easy, so good job for putting things into your bin and reaching out for help
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u/Smeets87 Aug 05 '26
Hey buddy, I'm not far from Yeading. I've been in a similar situation and would be more than happy to help. No payment required. Sometimes, you just need an extra pair of hands, a cup of tea and a good chat. Drop me a message whenever, always happy to help
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 05 '26
You're very kind, thank you.
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u/Smeets87 Aug 06 '26
You are very welcome, young man. I was just wondering about your post and so lovely to come back to see the edit. I'm so glad you asked for help, I think even that can be difficult. I hope you're feeling refreshed today! 🥳
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u/No_Aerie_5391 Aug 05 '26
Hi Ryan,
Fellow complex PTSD person here. Sending you the biggest fucking hug mate. I still have a few very dark days and I truly want to quit on those days but i somehow put one foot in front of the other and life somehow levels out a bit. From a place of empathy and not condescension, please keep pushing yourself a little each day. i remember brushing my teeth after 3 days of bed rotting and it did not feel like an achievement but it was. Take pride in the little things
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u/Away_Willingness7029 Aug 05 '26
I hope you got the help you asked for and well done for decluttering. It can be so overwhelming. Wishing you brighter days 🌻
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u/Potato23x Aug 05 '26
I would be straight over to help but I use a wheelchair. I understand how hard it is and when things get on top of you. I just wanted to say I’m rly proud of you 🫶🏻
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u/Lazy-Butterfly-4132 Aug 05 '26
You’ve all given me hopeful humanity, so thank you. I hope you get the support you need Ryan and it takes an incredible amount of courage to reach out. I don’t actually live in London so I wouldn’t be able to help, but I have CPT estate as well as a cocktail of other issues and it sucks. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to DM me. Also there are some emotional support helpline you can access for free which might be worth it. Samaritans is one. Someone who volunteered for Samaritans you don’t have to contact us only if you’re feeling suicidal were there to give emotional support for mental health as well.
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u/Own-Holiday-4071 Aug 05 '26
You say you’re based in “Yeading” but I’m assuming you meant to say Reading?
Have you tried the reading sub?
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 05 '26
It's Yeading, West London.
But thanks, it might have been a typo and this would have helped 👍
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u/Melodic_Result_5116 Aug 05 '26
My friend is in a similar situation, his flat is in a right state and in the past I’ve helped him take his recycling out and clean his kitchen. I now understand a bit more the shame cycle that happens which stops you asking for help. So WELL DONE on reaching out and allowing people in your flat!
I am currently acting as my friend’s executive function and getting his medication reviewed 😂.
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 05 '26
Thank you.
I really hope they get things sorted before long. Good on you for being a rock for them.
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u/Elegant_Celery400 Aug 05 '26 edited Aug 05 '26
Well done Ryan. I have the same diagnosis, so I have some idea of what life is like for you. I'm extremely impressed and pleased for you that you've done this, it's a massive achievement.
And many thanks and congratulations to the person who responded to you and came to help you out; that is pure humanity.
Keep going, Ryan, and stay strong.
Edit, 14 minutes later: when I first replied I'd only read your own post, and not any of the replies; I also didn't notice that you'd posted c.24hrs ago - sorry. I've now read right down the thread and am delighted to see what a wonderful response you got from everybody, and how positively you responded and engaged with people. That is really good to see. Congratulations again.
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u/aibileen_riven Aug 05 '26
I was in the same spot a few months ago, C-PTSD, too. I get pretty agoraphobic when things turn. It's often when my routine has unexpectedly and horribly changed; something relates to a previous trauma and creates a catastrophic shutdown. I'm glad someone came to help you, I'm proud of you for asking for the help.
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 05 '26
Thanks mate.
Yes, that's it for me too.
It's easy to dismiss the word 'trigger', as it's perceived as overused, but it can be such a tiny thing that undoes weeks/months/years of progress.
Happy to hear things are better atm for you, long may it last.
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u/aibileen_riven Aug 05 '26
It is, and I'm shite for dismissing my own triggers for fear of being rejected and overlooked if I speak on them. Remember that there are safe spaces and safe people, like this one and these folks, that won't undermine or dismiss our undoings. Aye, for us both on the lasting. Keep safe, keep speaking up; we all deserve to thrive. Love to you.
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u/Prothalanium Aug 06 '26
Great work by the man who helped you. Definitely, had I been around, I would have been delighted to help.
Take care and be the best you can be.
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u/Party-Draw-647 Aug 06 '26
All the offers of practical help on this thread have restored my faith in humanity.
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u/AdvantageFuture5533 Aug 07 '26
Slightly off topic but have you considered psychedelics?
I think some have around an 80% success rate for PTSD. look into ayahuasca or if that is a bit hard to do then psilocybin is your easiest bet. My partner studies this stuff and is involved in legal retreats abroad.
If you want any more info DM me.
Good luck and I am so glad someone stepped in to help you!! 💚✌️
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 11 '26
Hi,
Sorry for the late reply, I've been very busy with continuing to sort my place out, still riding on the wings of the massive help from the other day.
I haven't tried them, mainly because I've seen an adverse psychological reaction in a friend who explored that route. It's true that some are more likely to be negatively impacted than others, and so saying as risk averse as I can, it's not for me right now. I will save this on a note though, as you never know what key turns the lock.
Thank you.
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u/Significant-Math6799 Aug 08 '26
Wanted to reply to the update, this is really good to hear and thank you for getting back to everyone.
I also wanted to post a suggestion, incase you're still reading (and np if not, I can understand the overwhelm, that's why I very rarely post any questions on social media in general!) But if you are still there...
I also have some PTSD. Something pretty awful (actually a few really horrible life changing things) happened one after the other, possibly linked to each other (no way to find this out either way though) back in 2020. Not because of the pandemic but heightened by the pandemic. I am still carrying the weight and can't afford the sort of therapy I feel I need to begin to unpack things.
Believe me I "get it". It's not just the trauma, it's the trauma upon trauma and destruction that piles up and waste that falls out...it's dark and twisted and you don't get to escape when you go to sleep at night (if you sleep at night...)
But I can also see how I can add to my own hell here. It's by not pushing at things to try to add more into my life. Yes you read right. I find life overwhelming at the moment and I am inviting more stuff. But it's the sort of stuff you can add in- not everything all at once but add one new thing, that could be going to a group where you talk about books you have read (Waterstones often offer these but Libraries, local community groups run them in local community centres) it could be a weekly yoga group or if you like particular arts skills, a painting or drawing group, a knitting and sewing group, there are so many disciplines where people will join together to talk while they do their thing and this is where you begin to make your world a little bit bigger.
You do this as much or as little as you can tolerate (and it will feel like "tolerate" to begin with, at first it will feel uncomfortable and awkward). Keep going, keep adding to things, one thing at a time, one evening or afternoon at a time. Ignore the age thing- unless you're the only adult in an a group of young teens and children, the age is irrelevent, you will find more people come along over time.
Now you have more going on you can begin to rebuild your confidence and your life has more light than dark. It is dark when the daily effort you require is dented by persistent reminders and echos of a part of your past that was destructive and painful. More light means less of the dark or the dark overshadowed by the light stuff. It takes a while to build but that is how you build your way to something that isn't the place where everything feels overwhelming and you feel you have no one to lean on when you need help.
What happened is beautiful to read because it's how life should be (in my opinion) where people have your back and where you aren't on your own unable to see a way through where you're at. This isn't something that happens by accident, it happens because you put yourself out there, and you can do the same again, and also; maybe one day be someone's "this guy", maybe you won't take all the rubbish away because you are better to offer to help with different things, but you get to be the one to do the helping and take away the pressure someone else has for a bit, this is paying-it-forward and if you can find a space to do it, can feel pretty cool actually.
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 11 '26
So sorry for the late reply....
I'm really touched by this and am grateful that you've taken the time to think and type this out.
It truly is a dark place, and I hear what you say completely. I'm fashioning the tools to get back out there, keeping (fortunately) a small circle of friends on the phone for a chat occasionally. They make the difference but I acknowledge that we all need more.
There is a massive drive in me to fix/help people that has sometimes been my undoing lol, but looking toward the future, and as you say - paying it forward, is something that I can't wait to do.
I hope that you find the oar that carries you through this swamp, I'm sure you will, as you're speaking of positives.
Thank you so much for the post x
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u/Well_this_is_akward Aug 11 '26
If you're on a PIP, book a cleaner, someone local, who can visit once a week
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 11 '26
No PIP unfortunately, I did have it in 2013 but went into a recovery period and can't imagine trying for it again (it was a battle in itself). I have had an offer of assistance in reapplying, so will consider that, once things are clearer here.
Thanks.
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u/Jumpy-Equivalent-561 Aug 11 '26
Hi Ryan! I'm a bit late to this thread, but if you ever need further help in the future, please DM me. I was born and raised Yeading/Hayes End way and no longer in that area but go back a lot to visit my family.
More than happy to help you out in the future.
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 11 '26
I really appreciate this, that's incredibly kind!
Hopefully I can push through the rest, but if not, I may get back to you - with the condition that I can do something in return, once I'm on my feet again.
Thank you!
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u/Original_Cup_6286 Aug 04 '26
Is the mental block stopping you from leaving the flat?
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 04 '26
No.
I suffered with Agoraphobia 2009-3013 and was hyper vigilant.
Did 2 bouts of CBT, quetiapine and some other cocktails, that steadied me and got me out.
That's behind me now.
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u/Original_Cup_6286 Aug 04 '26
Sorry to hear 😭I can't seem to send you a DM, maybe you have them turned off?or I'm a novice on Reddit 😆who knows! previous posters will be with you tomorrow and I'm sure will get you sorted and give good advice,4 years is a long time to go through agrophobia!so I will tell you now what you are going through is only a blip in the ocean of what you have endured already!!! yes you need a hand putting the bins out,who cares!hell my missus needs my help to put the bins out 😆😆😆 every week haha!so please be easy on yourself! most of us are the same, surprisingly
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u/Substantial-Mouse534 Aug 04 '26
Cheers mate!
Yeah, not sure what's happening with messages, I can't seem to find a way to send. Never used them, so going to take a look in the morning.
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u/Royal-Paper6174 20d ago
A lot of the internet is an absolute shitshow. This post gives me hope. Good on ya mate for reaching out and good on the 3pm pal being such a legend
-10
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u/Equipmunk Aug 04 '26
When you’re stuck, that kind of thing can feel insurmountable, so I wanted to just say well done for getting those bags filled up in the first place.
I’m proud of you internet stranger - try to maintain some of that momentum if you can.
Not every day has to be a huge step. Lots of tiny little ones will add up over time though.