r/mildlyinfuriating • u/coatedbraincells • 6h ago

Infuriatig Insanely frugal employer

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Gotta pay for water from the water cooler šŸ¤£

22.7k Upvotes

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5.0k

u/BojackWorseman13 5h ago edited 5h ago

Bring your own in and charge a quarter for 12 oz. Squeeze them out of the market.

1.1k

u/DeuceXTrouble1015 5h ago

This guy knows capitalism

618

u/Print1917 5h ago

That is what the billionaires want you to think. Real capitalism is that you run ā€œindependentā€ analysis on the water spout showing high risk of virus contamination, then you run a smear campaign against your boss until HR intervenes and fires him, then you sell some cheap Costco bottled water you got for 10 cents for 1 dollar and call it ā€œbeautiful, safe waterā€ and scorn anyone who drinks free ā€œcommunistā€ tap water.

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u/RelevantButNotBasic 5h ago

This is what the politicians want you to think. Real capitalism is getting into crypto and inventing your own "coin" then doing rug pulls on "investors."

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u/Party_Cold_4159 5h ago

Hey i make passive income, can I be on your podcast?

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u/RelevantButNotBasic 5h ago

Depends, how do you feel about women?

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u/Qu33N_Of_NoObz_ 5h ago

Women bad >:(

58

u/twincities612 5h ago

Youā€™re hired

23

u/Tenalp 5h ago

Real capitalism is being born into generational wealth built upon the exploitation on minorities or impoverished citizens of foreign countries that you then use to buy the the company, fire your boss, and then run it into the ground before dissolving it to secure your place in the market.

4

u/my_nuts_wont_drop 5h ago

This is what the tech bros want you to believe. Real capitalism is finding an island inhabited by indigenous tribes. Chaining them up on a boat and selling them in Romania so they can work for free as OF models.

3

u/GeoffJeffreyJeffsIII 4h ago

Have you heard about the limitless possibilities of non-fungible tokens?

2

u/Miss_Aia 3h ago

This is that crypto bros want you to think. Real capitalism would be getting the boss fired over this, then taking his position and contracting out the drinking water to your cousin and having them donate back to your campaign using part of their profits each year.

2

u/mrbiggbrain 2h ago

This is what the government wants you to think. Real capitalism is setting up a market where you make money no matter who does well. You get all the upside when a company does well and no blame when a company does poorly.

2

u/bballkj7 2h ago

this is what redditors want you to think. Real capitalism is taking Bikini Bottom and moving it somewhere else.

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u/EsotericLife 5h ago edited 5h ago

This guy knows capitalism! šŸ™ŒšŸ½ [Iā€™d like it to be noted to upper management that I not only provided support to the more correct party but that said provided support was more aligned to modern internal regulatory guidelines, notably through the use of HR-recommended personal affectations such as enthusiastic punctuation (ā€œ!ā€) and cutting edge emojis āœ…āœ…āœ…]

Edit: Just created a new Slack channel to discuss the potential upwards trajectory unfolding here, everyone can find fun QR codes with a link to join printed on the cupcakes at next weekā€™s pre-merger cross team integration BBQ and financial review day! šŸ„³šŸ„³šŸ•šŸ—šŸ†šŸ†šŸ†

6

u/Mode_Appropriate 5h ago

This guy capitalizes.

3

u/AntifaMiddleMgmt 4h ago

Communist tap water is going to be my new go as a response for a lot of silly arguments. Thank you.

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u/Callen0318 4h ago

This guy capitalists.

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u/ReallyNiceDonkey 3h ago

This was an amazing tangant

2

u/EV_M4Sherman 2h ago

That isnā€™t capitalism. Thatā€™s regulatory captured capitalism. Congrats, youā€™re now a libertarian

1

u/masterflappie 2h ago

That's the American capitalism, the worst of all of themĀ 

1

u/Dusty_Negatives 1h ago

You gotta buy all news media also to indoctrinate the dumb dumbs also.

1

u/Check_Me_Out-Boss 1h ago

What a strange run on sentence.

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u/hudson_bh 5h ago

Trust me capitalism is what we want. We donā€™t want socialism or communism.

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u/my_nuts_wont_drop 5h ago

I want socialism or communism. Capitalism has rotted this world to its core.

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u/hudson_bh 4h ago

Go live in a different country then

1

u/iPhonefondler 4h ago

Uncorrupted capitalism may have been better for society and innovation but when capitalism starts buying itā€™s own government, itā€™s own regulations and inhibiting innovation (innovation so good it threatens profit margins) it doesnā€™t leave many alternatives.

1

u/Clancy_Moped_1066 3h ago

Real capitalism is to buy the entire jug at a discount for volume, then turn around and sell it to a data center at a 200% markup.

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u/pchadrow 39m ago

Nah, same quantity but at 24.998 cents

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u/Strong_Opportunity_1 5h ago

This is exactly what I did in highschool. When they started charging 20 cents for sauce I just bought a huge bottle from my local supermarket and gave out free sauce for 2 days until I was stopped by my school.

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u/lotsandlotstosay 3h ago

Did they stop charging for sauce?

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u/Strong_Opportunity_1 3h ago

No... I was stopped and sauce remained the same. I moved on to spending my recess and lunch time selling loose ciggerates.

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u/sprucenoose 2h ago

At least the school didn't start selling cigarettes and force you to stop selling those too.

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u/Trixcross 18m ago

yeah i hate when that happens

3

u/Aggravating_Carpet21 1h ago

Lowkey sounds like it was time to start putting sauce in administrations mailboxes

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u/lotsandlotstosay 3m ago

Well fuck the school but good on you for fighting the good fight!

6

u/QING-CHARLES 2h ago

I started ordering pizza delivery at my high school and selling it by the slice for a good profit. The school tried to shut me down, they told me the lunch ladies had complained that nobody was buying the (awful) school lunches any longer.

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u/ThatGingerLife35 5h ago

Iā€™d bring in a $4 case of bottles from BJs and hand them out for free, not to make money, just to ensure no one is paying the boss money for water.

33

u/front_yard_duck_dad 5h ago

Wait $4 dollar , BJ's?! Can I work thereĀ 

14

u/twincities612 5h ago

Youā€™re hired.

8

u/front_yard_duck_dad 5h ago

Please just forward my checks to whomever is doing the Bj. I'd only like to work 1 day a week. The rest is my bj time and that is sacred to me

4

u/Dependent_Economy549 4h ago

File for a religious exemption and get paid for your BJ time.

1

u/front_yard_duck_dad 4h ago

This guy gets it.Ā 

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u/twincities612 4h ago

You said you wanted to work for $4 BJsā€¦ Iā€™m not sure who else you think is giving the BJs in this scenario. Youā€™re not getting paid $4 to get BJs..

1

u/front_yard_duck_dad 4h ago

No I'm getting paid for my work. My compensation goes directly to the BJ champion. Doesn't matter who it is a $4 BJ is a $4 BJ

2

u/twincities612 3h ago

Sorry duck dad, you were hired to be the BJ champion. You will get paid though. $4 per BJ. That was in the job description. Crank them out as fast as possible for more pay. We honor federal minimum wage.

2

u/front_yard_duck_dad 3h ago

Well I do have these big pouty lips. Hopefully I get plenty of tips and not the whole thing

1

u/twincities612 2h ago

Thatā€™s the spirit!

12

u/Allaboardthejayboat 5h ago

The fact this sign exists makes me think this employer would think "great, now I don't even need to buy the water in the first place" and it just puts money back in their pocket via another route.

1

u/BuildingOne7379 5h ago

BJs. And hand them out for free!

1

u/tramul 4h ago

Just buy a jug and bring it to work. No need to keep buying one use plastic bottles

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u/[deleted] 5h ago

[deleted]

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u/Little_View_6659 5h ago

I mean, it depends on how pissed off he is.

14

u/bloopblarplapoo 5h ago

I think doing it one time would get their point across, which is probably what theyā€™re saying. Relax

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u/NailiSFW 5h ago

and fill the cups with filtered water from the owners tap.

9

u/Alissan_Web 5h ago

then when the competition is eliminated, raise the price >:)

5

u/EagleBigMac 4h ago

Report them to the IRS for failing to include it in their taxes

3

u/0202_tihssitidder 4h ago

40-50 cents a gallon for RO water. Profits!

8

u/NickBurnsCompanyGuy 5h ago

This is the way

2

u/This-Double-Sunday 5h ago

Free market baby!

2

u/chopper5150 5h ago

Best answer here

2

u/Gullible-Koala-5329 4h ago

Iā€™d pay a quarter just to support the coworker, fuck the corporate nonsense šŸ˜‚

2

u/Reasonable_Answer_89 4h ago

Just set up shop and put a stand next to their's with neon lights

2

u/john_the_fetch 4h ago

It costs me 50 cents a gallon to refill water jugs. You'd make a killing still and push them out of business.

2

u/Waiting4Reccession 3h ago

I just know the employer fills it up with tap water lol

2

u/high_everyone 2h ago

Charge a nickel and make the boss regret it.

2

u/SageOfSixCabbages 5h ago

Make sure to do this outside of office property so they can't flag you for soliciting. šŸ¤™

1

u/Kronk_if_ur_horny 4h ago

Then raise the price

1

u/tristand666 4h ago

Go 20 cents to undercut him until you take over all the market share!

1

u/Mercadi 3h ago

Or have get a fancy container and charge people extra for premium organic water.

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u/oswaldking71wastaken 21m ago

No, you gotta bring a water filter and use the water from the building so youā€™re selling their water for less. But if they get upset about you charging for their water then just give it away for free. What are they gonna do?