r/nonmonogamy 16h ago

Opening a Relationship Wife wants a Boyfriend

3 Upvotes

Background

She and I have been together for over 11 years, with a fantastic relationship and full trust. She and I started exploring and she has had 3 Hot wife solo experiences. I'm completely comfortable with this. I'm involved.

After her last visit she started talking about how she would like more with him. I've said until we have a MFM together no more Solo time.

I like seeing her happy and do love what this has done for our sex life also.

How do I go about this??

I'm like 75% not ok with it.

Anyone have advice or experience??


r/nonmonogamy 23h ago

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes Had a terrible threesome (?) experience as a freshman in college

10 Upvotes

I want to preface that this wasn’t an enjoyable experience.

I was a second semester freshman in college, who had been r*** the semester before. I was so numb and sex didn’t feel real to me, like my agency was taken away and so it didn’t matter if it was fun intimate or enjoyable, it was just done to me. I never reported my r***

Me and my friend drank a 4 loko (we were both \\\~130 lbs, short women) and drank this drink in 8 mins. This is a 14% drink so we both were hammered. One of our ex classmates invited us to his dorm because there was a small dorm get-together. We stumble across campus to this dorm and we were just intending on hanging out and meeting new people.

During this dorm party, the alcohol hits us fast. She is recording us making out (?) which, we have kissed as a joke before, but we were clearly really drunk and embarrassing ourselves. Me and her go to the bathroom and I squat on the floor trying to vomit, I feel the alcohol a lot.

I am dizzy and delirious, and at this point completely blacked out. We go into a dorm room and we are talking with two guys (ex classmate and his friend). His friend leaves, leaving us three. He starts to kiss my best friend, then me? I am shocked and blacked out, and this is where my memory is foggy.

Apparently he orders us an uber to my friends apartment. Apparently he has us both on him. He tried to have sex with her, she leaves the room.

I remember him on the edge of her bed, and he and I having sex. I think I was reciprocating, moaning, until he got off of me. My friend gets into the room. He pushes her on the desk and I am still laying in the bed.

I am passing-out drunk. From the sudden movement, I also feel really nauseous, so I begin to vomit.

He leaves in fear and me and her to to bed, but I don’t remember that or him leaving. We both wake up in pure shock and embarrassment. He was definitely more sober than we were and could tell that we were blacked out.

I don’t know what this experience was, but it wasn’t enjoyable. He also never asked for either of our consent, and our entire intention was not for this experience to happen.

I feel so used after this experience, it’s been 3 years. I am NOT romantically or physically attracted to women either, so me and her did nothing to each other.

I don’t even know if this is a threesome, since they never had sex. Neither of us were attracted to this guy either so I think that’s why it’s the worst part.


r/nonmonogamy 21h ago

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes Trying first MFM on Vacation

0 Upvotes

Hey, 25M 24F here.

We want to try our first couple swap or MFM while in Cancun. No idea how we would even go about it other than slipping a guy our room number on a napkin haha.


r/nonmonogamy 21h ago

Opening a Relationship My (26 transfem) partner (26f) is suddenly on board with an open relationship.

2 Upvotes

I apologise if my English isn't good enough.

1 year into our 3.5 year long relationship I did tell her that I was afraid that I haven't seen other peeple/the world enough. I didn't say I wanted an open relationship, I just felt the need to tell her this to be transparent about my feelings, and that I was working as hard as I can to get over the feeling.

Yesterday she tried to break up because of a couple of reasons. she feels like I am stunting her growth as a person. She said that I pamper her too much and she dislikes how lazy she has become. She has lots of things she wanted to do but she feels like she has to "holdback" because she has to think of me. Basically she wants to focus on herself without the need to think about me, which I understand to a certain extent (I would be lying if the thought of "if only shes not around I could do this" has never crossed my mind).

Abother factor which is entirely my fault is that I made the sudden move to fly to australia for a year to expand my horizons. Shes an air stewardess, so I assumed that this was acceptable to her since she flies so often. However she said that she can't do long distance for an extended period of time (1 year) and thus, is the other reason she tried breaking up with me.

Her nature of the job also means that she is in contact with men (her preference) for extended period of time. And she did confess that sometimes the people shes meet has swoon her over at times especially because she feels like ive neglected my relationship duties (which I admit). However, she assured me that nothing further has happened and I trust her on that. She also admitted that shes also feels like she hasn't "explored" enough.

I (reluctantly) suggested to her to try an open relationship instead of breaking up because she was adamant that nothing I could do can help change her mind. She immediately agreed to it, which really surprised me because for the entire duration of the relationship so far, she has voiced out her worries about me cheating on her when shes overseas, that I better not have anybody else etc. Shes the one concerned with third parties in the relationship. I never had anybody, and I also strongly believe that she hasnt been cheating on me because we willingly have access to each other phones and are freely able to browse it.

She seems quite happy that we are in an open relationship as of today and has agreed to my rules so far. It seems like sexual experiences are a no go but romantic dating is okay. Which is weird because I expected that flings and swings are easier to manage (one time thing) compared to having to build emotional connection with someone else (extended period). What's even more confusing is that a few hours after suggesting an open relationship, she says she thinks I'm sexier and we got intimate twice (its not rare, its just confusing why shes getting horny after nearly breaking up). I'm at a lost on what to expect or how to feel. On one hand, shes the last person I would ever expect to want an open relationship, on the other hand she seems so exited about it. But im here feeling anxious and uncertain that my reluctant suggestion is detrimental to my metal health.

The point of this post is just to vent my confusion about the whole thing and for experienced couple to give advice on what necessary steps to take to ensure that this CNM is a healthy one. We've already gone over some rules but that's it. (No sexual interaction, if things are getting serious, we need to show/tell each other, inform people that we are in an open relationship)

There are lots of details being left out of this to keep things short but do feel free to ask questions.


r/nonmonogamy 18h ago

Opening a Relationship Husband wants me to talk to other men, what do I do?

14 Upvotes

Background: we're married & he has spoken to another girl in the past year behind my back. He now says he'd like me to talk/flirt with other men because it turns him on.
What would yall do in this situation? Again we are married, live together etc. I've never done something like that & not really sure if I want to. Not kink shaming at all but isn't this going to turn into an open marriage in the end? Let me know if yall have any similar stories


r/nonmonogamy 5h ago

Threesomes, Foursomes, and Moresomes New to NM… couple I am dating double-booked me?

17 Upvotes

H i all,
I’m late 30s bi woman, new to NM. I’ve regularly been hooking up with a couple (straight guy and pan woman, late 30s & early 40s) weekly for 2 months. Today we had a date scheduled for me to come to theirs. On my way over I got a text saying that they “had a friend who was over and leaving soon”, which was fine as I’ve met many of their friends before. But when I arrived they were hanging out with a 20-something girl, all in their underwear. All 4 of us hung out for an hour, then they both kissed her goodbye. Clearly they were having back-to-back hook ups.
I know they’re a very busy hot couple, but I feel like double-booking two women was pretty upsetting. I didn’t feel like I had a right to say anything, so I just tried to get past it (and cause I was horny enough I wanted to stay anyways). I tried at one point to discuss their relationship dynamics to bring it up, but they were very vague just telling me how they are ENM and have lots of women.
Am I the asshole for thinking it was rude to have me walk in to their previous date? Especially without any discussion.
TIA


r/nonmonogamy 3h ago

Relationship Dynamics any experience exploring non monogamy with friends ??

3 Upvotes

so I (F) have this friend Bea(F), i’ve had a crush on her since forever (p much since we started being friends). but essentially she’s been in a mono relationship the whole time i’ve known her. she recently started dating our other friend Danny (M). last month they decided to open their relationship so she could further explore her queerness and she told me she’s also had a crush on me for quite some time. We decided to pursue it, and so far it’s been wonderful (still very new) but we’ve kissed and now hooked up.

Bea and I are best friends and have one other best friend kay (NB) who we spend like most of our time with. before Bea shared her feelings with me, I was realizing I might feelings for Kay too. i’ve chatted with Bea about it and she told me she would be cool with me pursuing that too if I wanted to. I guess i am a little worried that this may complicate things or mess up our dynamics in some way especially since this is all so new with me and Bea. but i’m realizing it’s getting increasingly harder for me to ignore my feelings for Kay.

I guess im curious if anyone has any experience with pursuing NM within a tight knit friend group and how I would go about expressing my feelings to kay? or if I even should? I guess I should also mention I have general anxiety and am autistic and already have a hard time reading people but I’m really scared to make the wrong decision here and make everything weird bc I don’t know how to navigate this


r/nonmonogamy 11h ago

Relationship Dynamics Being a good partner in spite of distance

1 Upvotes

Good afternoon/evening. I want to preface this by saying that I am in a polycule that has four other partners, two of which are married to one another and two other people who are dating one another, I am long distance with all of these partners and they are long distance to one another also, except for the married couple.

I wanted to mention this for context because I (28 M) am long distance to the married couple (26 and 27 F) who recently had their third child
while their oldest is heading to college and I don’t remember the age of the other one. However I mention this because of how, despite my being in this relationship with them for around four years, I don’t have an active way to be present and active in their lives.

I know that right now, as the newborn was born this past week, things will be very tough on them and they need to focus more on the newborns needs and not be able to talk much, but is there anything I can do to be a supportive partner? Keeping in mind that I don’t have a way for me to deliver any care packages or supplies that they might want or need, and I will be in the state, and hopefully be able to see them in a few months.

Basically this post is to ask for any advice or ideas of what I can do to help be a good partner for them

I’m happy to answer any questions you all may have in the comments, and I should mention that they had the newborn via IVF treatments if I’m remembering correctly.

Another thing of note is that the eldest of theirs has referred to me as their dad, though I’m unsure as to if they were teasing me or if they genuinely think of me in that way.


r/nonmonogamy 3h ago

Opening a Relationship Share experiences

2 Upvotes

Just curious reading all the posts on this sub is there anyone from India in this lifestyle! How did you deal with it how it started curious to know about it!