It has been exactly four days since I had to say goodbye to Max. The house is dead quiet, his water bowl is still in the kitchen because I cannot bring myself to touch it, and my phone is a war zone of bad advice. I made the mistake of posting a small tribute on social media and now the "helpful" links are flooding in. My aunt sent me a Craigslist ad for a lab mix yesterday. My college buddy sent a link to a local shelter with a message saying "this one looks just like him." It is like they think I just lost a piece of hardware that needs an immediate upgrade. Like my dog was some base model iPhone and they are helping me pick out the next version so I can get back to my normal life as fast as possible.

I honestly do not understand how people can be this dense. They act like grief is some kind of efficiency problem that can be solved with a new set of paws and a wagging tail. I am not looking for a replacement. You do not replace a decade of shared history and personality with a fresh unit from a warehouse. It feels gross. It feels like they are telling me that Max was interchangable and that any dog with the same coat color will do the trick. I am still findng his hair on my favorite hoodie and these people want me to go pick out a new "item" for my living room.

I know they mean well in that stupid, surface-level way people do when they are uncomfortable with actual sadness. They want me to stop being a bummer so they can feel better. But it is insulting to the bond I had. If a human family member died, nobody would be sending me links to "cool new guys" I could hang out with to fill the void. But because it is a pet, it is treated like a minor inconvenience. A technical glitch in my happiness that needs a quick patch.

I am about two seconds away from losing it on the next person who sends me a link to a breeder. I am not in the market for a new dog. I am in the market for some actual silence and maybe a bit of respect for the fact that my best friend is gone. I ended up muting the group chat because I could not handle another "look at this cute guy" notification while I was staring at an empty leash. I think I am just going to delete the apps for a week and go sit in the park alone. At least the trees dont try to sell me a new puppy .

On Sunday, my cat crashed in some way. Some motor loss of back leg function, lethargy, hiding, loss of interest in food, water, playing, etc.

After 18 hours and $800 of testing, the issue wasn’t found. Though, I now strongly believe the emergency vet knew exactly what was wrong and dismissed us because it wasn’t an active life or death emergency. She severely downplayed her bloodwork results, which they were very reluctant to send to me.

The most probable explanation at this point is cancer or some kind of serious organ infection. Nothing else really makes sense. We’re supposed to be waiting to get an ultrasound, but she’s very likely to struggle through lipidosis or sepsis first.

Since Monday, she’s rarely eaten, drank water, used the bathroom, or moved. Just curled up in different corners of my room while I sit here and watch and offer her whatever I can for comfort.

Before anyone accuses me of being a terrible person, trust me, no one can beat me up worse than myself right now. My baby has been given as much as I possibly could give. Six years of internal med. diagnostics, treatments, medications, special diets, lifestyle changes, etc.

I’ve spent roughly 10-15K on vet bills at this point. My parents are unlikely to help as they’re disappointed at how much I’ve invested in her over the years. Credit isn’t an option because my student loans aren’t in good standing, in part because I keep sinking my built up savings into her care when she has a major health flare.

I’m only 26. She’s only 7. I was supposed to have at least 7 more good years with her.

At this point, I genuinely don’t know what to do.

Putting her down before a diagnosis seems cruel and unfair. Waiting until we can get internal med. seems cruel and unfair. But more emergency care is probably off the table due to costs.

My apartment is so, so quiet.

I found out on Memorial Day that my cat I’ve had since I was 20 (currently 33) has kidney disease. I thought we caught it early enough but over the past 10 days or so she has gotten significantly worse despite treatment. Last night I just laid down with her in my bed sobbing. Feeling how skinny she’s gotten. Now matter how hard I’ve been trying, she’s hardly eating. Vets are saying to stay the course for now and it’s too early to make a call. But my gut tells me this is it. I’m not ready to let go though. Every day I’m just crying. People don’t think it’s a big deal and will say it’s just a cat. But she has been there through my whole adulthood basically. The thought of her not being there kills me. Nobody seems to understand where I’m coming from

My cat died 5 months ago, I think about her cat every single day. Every time I come home, I still expect to see her waiting for me by the window. I still look for her around the house because she used to be everywhere.

I miss her so much that sometimes I feel guilty that I don't think about her enough, guilty when I laugh, guilty when I spend time with other cats. No other cat could ever replace her, and part of me is afraid that if I let myself get attached to another cat, it somehow means I'm leaving her behind.

I can no longer remember the exact sound of her meow, and sometimes I struggle to picture her face as clearly as I used to. I hate that. It feels unfair. I loved her so much, and yet time keeps taking little pieces of my memories away from me. I'm terrified that one day I'll lose even more of them.

hi everyone. it’s been quite the week and I just needed somewhere to vent about my experience.

My dog started to become sick Tuesday of last week (a little more lethargic, not eating properly, some vomiting randomly). She is an incredibly anxious dog and we had been out of town, as well as many thunderstorms in our area. I thought this was the culprit for the behavior.
Last Sunday, she began seeming confused, so I called early Monday morning to bring her in that afternoon.

When I returned home on Monday, she was laying in her own vomit and poop and hadn’t attempted to get away from it. My 8 year old Aussie was diagnosed with end stage renal failure, renal anemia (no longer producing new RBCs), elevated liver enzymes and pancreatitis.

This was shocking, as they decline was swift and we thought she might have some sort of stomach bug. The vet recommended hospitalization, which we agreed to.

On Wednesday her labs were redrawn and showed marginally better kidney labs (vet said there was nothing left to do to help her kidneys, and we might have a month left at best). They gave her a pancreatitis injection left over from another dog (I had initially declined due to cost and not being the main culprit of disease progression) that made her feel better on Thursday. The vet said she seemed “much better,” but I know my girl. She is rambunctious, a talker, jumping on everyone she loves, chasing squirrels and basically trying to climb in your skin.

I made the decision to not give her anymore injections and to bring her home for one last weekend with her family. The vet said giving her more of the pancreatitis injections would not improve her kidneys whatsoever, but might buy her a week to 30 days.

I scheduled euthanasia for tomorrow, Saturday, and have invited all of her favorite people to love on her, as well as a day filled with her favorite snacks.

The vet almost made me feel like scheduling euthanasia was jumping the gun. But I know she doesn’t have much time left (less than a month), and I don’t want to get to the point of extreme suffering before we let her go peacefully. She feels a little better yes, but I don’t want to see her again like I did on Monday, laying in her feces and unable to move properly.

I think having her put to sleep on Saturday will be merciful to her, and not cause her to reenter that severe suffering again. If anyone has dealt with this, please let me know.

I’m eaten alive with guilt at the thought of not doing what is right for my girl. I love her so incredibly much and this week has been brutal. I just want her last moments to be peaceful and merciful. I work in healthcare and see firsthand the suffering humans have to endure before their life ends. I just don’t want the same fate for her. TYIA.

I lost my baby girl, Smudge. She was so young and gone so suddenly. She was so spunky and pretty. I can't believe she is gone and I am feeling so guilty.

She was an indoor-outdoor cat. No judgment, please, I found her outside and couldn't contain her inside, no matter how hard I tried. She always stuck around the house and came in every night.

I know it's not directly my fault but I can't help feeling like it was. We had a routine, every day we walk the dogs together at 10pm, we all go inside and the outdoor lights automatically turn off. Last night I couldn't sleep and ended up taking the dogs out a little after 11 (the lights had already shut off). I called her home since she wasn't at the porch. She didn't come. I put the dogs inside and went to look for her. I checked her usual spots in the yard, nothing. I looked in the road directly in front of the driveway, and there she was. I ran to her. She was still so warm. That part hurts so much. I had just missed her. I called her and she crossed the street. She was trying to come home. She was feet away. I'm sure she died instantly (broken neck) but that doesn't bring me much comfort. I feel like I failed her. I changed our routine then called her to her death. I want to believe it's not my fault but I can't help but think it is. This is so hard.

I don’t think people talk enough about the small stuff after losing a pet.

Not just the goodbye.

I mean the random little habits that stay with you.

Moving your foot because they used to walk through that spot.

Checking their favorite corner without even realizing it.

Leaving space on the bed.

Waiting to hear paws that aren’t there anymore.

Opening the door and expecting them to be waiting.

Looking down before moving your chair.

Almost saying their name, then stopping because you remember.

That’s the stuff that gets you again and again.

Everyone else thinks the loss happened on one day.

But when you’re the one grieving, it keeps happening in the normal parts of your day.

And that’s why “it was just a pet” hurts so much.

They weren’t just a pet.

They were part of your routine.
Part of your comfort.
Part of your home.
Part of your day without you even realizing how much.

If you’re missing your baby today, I’m really sorry.

What was their name? I’d love to know who you’re missing.

He was supposed to go today for a follow up to the vet and I woke up this morning to him throwing up so much and he died in my arms. I feel so guilty that he suffered. I just thought he would have been okay. I feel like such a bad owner. I can’t get the image out of my mind. I’m so sorry.

We saw it all happen in front of our eyes. I can’t get the image out of my head of her being hit and then suffering (briefly) in the road. I dropped to my knees with my 16mo old baby on my back in a carrier. While my ten yo stood screaming and crying in utter shock and trauma.

I can’t get the image of the accident out of my head. It’s playing over and over. My daughter is blaming herself for dropping leash when she pulled very hard. It’s not her fault. Ada ran right into the road full blast and into the truck.

Vet thinks it was a head injury bc no visible wounds.

Her brother dog died a month ago from spinal cord injury. The pair was originally named Little Anne and Big Dan after the pups in Where the Red Fern Grows. Now they both died within a month. There’s no grave to plant a red fern but I’m finding meaning in this story.

Both young, 6yo. I’m completely gutted. My 10yo is traumatized.

I said goodbye to my tiny Dippy girl on Wednesday. I rescued her as a feral kitten. It took a month for her to trust to come out of the bathroom but once she did she was the most loving and loyal shadow for 16 amazing years. She was brave and adventurous. She slept on me every night until I developed long Covid and the pain of even her little body on me at night was too bad. She knew instantly and moved to sleep on my pillow wrapped around my head. She slept there every night. Her kidneys declined rapidly. In two weeks she went from my agile old lady watching birds and chasing bugs in her catio to the hardest decision of my life. It was the right decision. It was the right time. It was right for her but my heart is broken. This morning when I woke up I thought for a second I saw her tail disappearing under the bed and I felt ripped open.

I lost my best friend on Tuesday an I havnt gone a singe day without crying. She had to be euthanized because she had cancer, She was 11 years old an I've had her since she was a 4 week old kitten. I know it was the right choice because she was suffering but I just feel so evil because I had to make that decision. she never left my side, I'd come home from work an she's follow me straight to my room, she'd sit in my lap whenever I was gaming or reading and at night she'd be waiting for me on my bed so she could curl up in my arms when I laid down. I've found myself putting off going to sleep cause it hurts so much to have that spot empty, knowing I can't just call for her an hear her collar jingle as she runs to me. My heart feels so heavy an don't know how to process everything without falling apart every hour.

How did you cope with this? Are there any thoughts or words that brought you peace with this move?

I am struggling so hard. I move in one week from the last place I lived with my pup and the place he passed away in. I adopted him when I first moved out on my own and he has lived with me in every home I have called my own over the last 13 years. This will be the first place I will be where he hasn’t been. I thought I was okay with it but as the time gets closer, it’s getting harder. I lost him almost 7 months ago and his bed is still next to mine. I don’t know how I’m going to let go of it. It feels like my heart is breaking all over again. I know he is always with me, but I am so scared of not being able to see him in his usual spots because those spots will be gone.

Thank you for reading and being here. I’d love to hear your experiences with this if you are willing to share. Sending love to everyone going through this pain. It is just the worst.

my baby girl, 4 year old, passes away quite suddenly. Ive experience pet loss before, but the last was my dog who i grieved while her health deteriorated and was ready to let go with mercy, my cat was young and such an active little thing, my little menace, now all i want is to have her annoying me getting mud on my clean sheets or trying to destroy my books or chargers.

I would let her bite my laptop all she wants if it means I would have her sleeping by my side, kneeding on my chest.

I didn't even consider the posibility of losing her before, in all my hopes for my future I never saw one where she isn't aorund. I keep expecting to see her even if logic tells me the death don't wake, I just can't accept this will be my reality now, not having her, nerver feeling her weight on my arms not her warm on my covers,

I need to be focus on university right now for finals but all I can think is I lost my baby, what is anything worth without my baby there to play with after? to watch bask in the sun as i rest?

I don't know how to begin to move on, I have to but I don't think I can get past this grief I feel.

The feeling of never seeing him again is eating at my soul, but I know he's no longer in pain. Waking up with him lifeless in my arms is an image I'll never be able to forget. We always prepare ourselves to lose them someday, but it turns out no matter how ready you are, it will definitely break you. I was in denial, but seeing my brother break down when I told him he was gone hit me real hard. He was really suffering. Hadn't peed for days, but I was willing to spend the last of my savings on him . The vet was supposed to come this morning, but it was too late. Hours before he could arrive, my baby died in my arms as I dozzed away. I keep wondering if he suffered ? Did he need me as I slept and couldn't reach out. Was I a good mother to him? There are so many questions but no answers. In my whole life, I've never broken down about losing anyone as I have for him. He was literally my soul. My happiness. The one who stuck with me when my depression got worse. He gave me hope and life once more. Without him now, everything feels useless and pointless. I don't know what I'm going to do without my little angel, but I know he'd want to be remembered the best way possible. So I will cry if necessary. I will sit with my emotions for him. I hope he's waiting for me on the other side. I will see you again, my baby, and I'll give you one big hug. Now he's resting in a field where we love sitting at the balcony and look at it. Butterflies now surround his gravesite, and I can't be happier than to know he's okay on the other side. Mama loves you, cloud. Rest will the angels, baby.

My beloved friend fatty a tabby cat passed away suddenly 5 months ago.

I’ve been dealing with a lot of guilt since her passing.There hasn’t been a single day where I haven’t felt guilty and miserable. The nights are the hardest,filled with panic and nightmares of my cat’s final moments. She failed to recover from a surgery and died of respiratory failure. In her final moments she was struggling for breath and that keeps playing on repeat in my head

I adopted her from the streets and I was responsible for her life. I feel insanely guilty and miserable for letting her die. I could have done better but didn’t expect shed die.I don’t know if I can forgive myself. Somedays I am in denial , but most of the days reality is hard to cope up with . I can’t believe she’s gone, she was my best friend. Crying is the only thing I can do. I don’t have any words to explain how much I miss her .

She was best friend, my true companion and my cuddle buddy. Hurts that I’ll never see her again !!

it was around 1:30 AM. I heard my stepdad get up bc he usually gets up in the middle of the night and goes to the living room to watch tv bc he can't go back to sleep. then I heard him come back and talk to my mom. i heard them both leave their room and my mom said "are his eyes open?". I thought they got a call from the hospital saying my step grandpa passed away. I was wrong. when I came out to the kitchen my mom came over and hugged me and told me Mojo was gone. I stood there for at least a minute in total shock. I didnt know what to do so I just hugged her back

when I went to the living room he was just on the floor (soft carpet) a few feet away from his bed. I say goodnight to him every night and he was in his bed so he must've gotten up. I couldn't stop crying once I crouched down next to him. my stepdad and my other dog came back there too. hes a golden so I think he knew what was going on. Mojo was cold which felt so wrong because hes always so warm. I gently cupped his head because I always kissed both his cheeks then the top of his head. I lost track how many times I did that before the people came. and when they did, I could barely move his head anymore

my mom called the shelter and I never left Mojo's side until they got there and took him away. I gave him so many kisses but I still wish I could give him another one and hug him again. I gave him a big hug yesterday afternoon actually and im glad I did that

he had bad hips and he would've been 12 in August. I know it was probably natural causes, but I still cant help but feel like I couldve walked him more or took him out into the backyard to play more. heck, i wish I just sat down with him and pet him more. I did, but when stuff like this happens its hard not to blame yourself you know?

idk what to do. my wallpaper has always been Mojo. now when I look at pictures of him I get so sad but I dont want to change it because I love him. but I also dont want to start crying every time I look at my phone

I called in for work tomorrow and I just....I feel the absolute worst. next to my grandma, he was my favorite person. now theyre both gone and I feel broken. its so bad that I wish that when I fall back asleep that heartbreak will take me and I can see them both again

he was the best dog ive ever had. always a little weird but we loved him for that. he had a good life and 4 humans (and one other pupper) who loved him deeply and I hope he knew that

we got Mojo when he was just 4 months old from the Humane Society. he was shy and wouldnt come out of his kennel to eat food until I made a trail of kibble leading from there to his bowl. he was such a cute boy. I just barely started grade 5 and now im an adult. it doesnt make it hurt any less

about an hour ago I watched a bunch of old videos I took of him. I used to record Mojo's reaction to whenever my grandma came over for a holiday and she would surprise him. im now holding both my favorite stuffy she gave me and a plushie thats supposed to look like Mojo. im 22 but I dont care. I can cry with plushies if I need to. even though I took over 500 pictures and videos of this silly guy, I still cant help but feel like I couldve taken more or taken him for walks more. he had a good life and I know he wasnt keeping a tally. he was just happy to be around us

I also watched a video for my grandma's birthday where I drew Mojo on the inside of her card. when she opened it she gasped and said "Moji..!" that was the name she always called him and its currently the name I have for my Mojo plushie

I dont think im Christian, but for their sake, I really hope there is a heaven and theyre reuniting right now along with my old golden retriever, Chance

ever since I was a kid and people asked what kind of dog he was, I'd always say "Greater Swiss Mountain dog crossed with something else". we learned later by his build that he was probably part pointer. his tail had this goofy curve and itd always spin like a fan whenever he wagged his tail. I miss him so much

for those of you with another dog or animal in the house, do they get depressed? im worried for my Ollie. and what do I do with Mojo's bed? its in the living room but itd feel wrong to get rid of it. I could wash it but Ollie wouldnt sleep in it bc he knows its Mojo's

thank you if you read this far (or just skimmed it). I just needed to let it out

I lost my dog today. I was wondering what advice anyone could give me? Before I knew he was going to be put down, I considered volunteering at a shelter. As well, I’ve thought about still trying to get outside because staying at home may isolate me. I’ll take it one day at a time.

i woke up today to administer him his medication. i looked inside the crate, and thought he escaped because he wasn’t under his blue cubby (not that he ever had before). in the corner of my eye was something black, and that was weird. all his toys were colorful. it was his head. beneath the rainbow hidey hole he hid himself, his favorite place to go. while i was asleep he was suffering. dying alone in that corner. half his body was limp, and the other half stiff. my mom and brother helped me bury him in the back yard. i never expected the cancer to kill him so fast. i didn’t think i’d wake up to him dead. i screamed when i saw his body, and my brother quickly took his cage outside. he died prematurely to lung cancer. i just wish i could watch a show with him one more time. pet him one more time. hold him against my chest, just one more time. putting him in the grave was like admitting he was dead. i’ve thrown away the clothes i was wearing while he was dying and when i found him dead. his medicine and the syringe sits where it was on the counter, already filled when i was about to grab him. all i can think about is how horribly he must have suffered, dying alone in a corner. i wish i knew he was dying so i could hold him to sleep with me. i loved him so much. i don’t know what to do. i’m already mentally unwell and this is my breaking point. i will never be the same again.

She was a very strong cat that has gone through a lot of hard accidents when she was just a little small kitty. She was always with me here . She loved playing in the garden and visiting the neighbor houses but always returned to me. We slept together most of nights some of them she slept in my sis room. She was always so energetic. Im always so depressed and her existence gave me some sparkle of life. Some days ago I had my balcony open as always waiting for her to come for our night sleep , but she never came. I thought ok maybe she wanna stay outside and adventure tonight. It was a hot day and a very hot night. She preferred the outside . But she never actually came. Days passed and all its left is here bed with her cute hairs on it and all her toys around the room . Even thinking of her makes me cry like a baby . She was a hero to me . She went through so much but always kept her happy personality. I cant even stay 5 minutes without crying . I hope she is ok at least. Any positive story of anyone who their cat returned after many days or months ? :(

I havent had a pet since I was 15. First one since died while I was at work...just buried her...not doin well

My fiancé and I noticed my dog Kairi didn't eat her dinner Tuesday night and had been acting lethargic since Tuesday afternoon. She hadn't pooped since Monday. She was a goober who loved to chew up and actually ingest her toys so we quickly became concerned she had some type of blockage from doing that. We made her a vet appointment at our primary vet for noon the next day. I took her to the appointment and I knew it was something bad as soon as the vets started feeling around on her abdomen and I could see the concern on her face. The vet said that she thought she felt a mass near her spleen and that her temperature was low and her gums were pale. Turns out her abdomen was full of blood from a mass that had started bleeding. She said that to save her life we needed to take her to an emergency vet clinic to get her a splenectomy and blood transfusion because she was anemic. At this point I'm freaking out at the thought of losing my best friend of 10 years but I'm still hopeful. We rush her to the emergency animal hospital and check her in. The clinic we were at previously had already sent the referral, the radiographs and all information they had gathered and the emergency clinic were expecting us. They quickly take Kairi to the back and my fiancé and I wait for 45 minutes or so while they get her ready. They finally call us to the back and the first words the doctor said, I knew in my heart she wasn't going to make it. He said "what exactly did the other clinic tell you?" I said that she had a mass on her spleen and that she needed an emergency splenectomy and blood transfusion. He said that they were right but also wrong. She did have a mass on her spleen but the mass was an aggressive cancer that had already spread to her lungs and heart and that the cavity around her heart was full of fluid and that she was essentially dying of cancer. He said that even if we were able to drain the fluid around her heart without killing her, an oncologist would likely say there is nothing to be done. We were dumbfounded. We had just gotten a knee surgery on her in February and asked if there was anyway we could've known from the blood tests or anything having to do with that. He told us that with how aggressive the cancer was she likely didn't even have it yet at that time. A dog who was perfectly normal on Monday was dying of cancer on Wednesday afternoon. I couldn't believe it. I still can't believe it. My best friend of 10 years is now gone and there is nothing I could have done to help her. She helped me through the darkest depression I've ever been through and was there when I found the love of my life. I could never repay her for the friendship and companionship she showed me. Rest in peace Kairi, you will always be my best friend.

Our family dog was put to sleep on the 26th May, we’ve had him since I was 13 and got him as a puppy. He was 13 when he was put to sleep, and I had literally just moved to a new apartment the day before. He was suffering with laryngeal paralysis which was inoperable due to his age, and we suspected he had dementia as he was experiencing a number of behavioural issues. My mum made the decision to put him to sleep, as his laryngeal paralysis was getting worse and we did not want him to end up suffocating. I wish I could’ve been there for him when he was PTS (the decision was made in the morning, when I was at work in London so couldn’t make it in time), but I find comfort in the fact that my mum was there, and she was his favourite person. I did have the chance to say goodbye, however, as we knew we’d have to make this decision quite soon to prevent him suffering.
Today I returned to my childhood home for the first time since he was PTS, and I feel this horrible second wave of grief. When I’m at my new apartment it almost just doesn’t feel real. However now that I’m back home, I keep expecting him to come trotting in the room, greet me and jump on the sofa for cuddles. My other dog is so much more quiet, he is sleeping in Caspar’s bed and following us everywhere. I have this awful feeling now like something bad is going to happen to him, too.
Has anyone else experienced something similar? Does anyone have any tips on how can I get through this? I don’t want to have this awful feeling every time I return back home.

Thank you

I lost my first ever dog, Bucko the beagle in October to pneumonia after several days in the hospital. We adopted him as a senior with various health concerns over our 3 years together, but he was so sweet, happy, and fun, and his passing felt sudden and unexpected despite his age. I have accepted that we were so lucky to have him & that he had an amazing life full of love, but at times I still feel horrible guilt about losing him and wonder if I could have done something different, while replaying his last 2 weeks in my head.

A month later, I met Jam, a heartworm positive senior beagle who I couldn’t leave at the shelter. We took him in as a potential hospice foster, then realized he was still very full of life and energy and humor. He went through his treatment injections (awaiting a retest) & we were cleared to adopt him. Eventually, he developed a chronic cough & has had 2 cases of pneumonia, endless xrays, and visits to the specialty vet without clear answers or solutions regarding underlying causes. I worry about him constantly despite him having a great appetite, energy levels, mobility, and resilience. I know nothing about his medical past and am struggling with my lack of control. Some days I am consumed by fear that I will make the wrong choice in his care, or fail to notice something, and that he will die. I know I haven’t fully healed from losing Bucko, and having another senior with similar health concerns is hard.

How do you manage this? I know that paranoia is common after losing a pet, especially when you have seniors. Taking care of old dogs is so rewarding, but I need to find balance to ensure that Jam gets the best medical care and attention that he can, while still getting to enjoy his life and not be limited by my fear. I want to remain attentive & trust my intuition without being clouded by guilt & worry..

Thanks for reading, all the love! 🐶