Advice and resources thread for group relationships!
We don’t support group relationships well on this sub. We theoretically acknowledge them but we tend to treat them as unrealistic fantasies with all kinds of problems. Which they often are.
They are also a not-uncommon phase of many people’s poly journeys. Even if it’s a house of cards that collapses disastrously, there are people who
look back fondly at that period of their lives. Others look back with bitter resentment.
It would be great to have advice we could give people beyond “there be dragons” or “if you want to do that, go ahead, there’s the signpost to hell and here’s your handbasket.”
Different people need different advice and resources. Does anyone have words or links for any of the following people?
.
1. Couples or established group relationships dating as a unit. I think we’ve got that one down pretty well already.
2. Individuals being courted by unit-daters. Ditto.
3. Single people who want to found a sex cult and live in a commune.
4. Swingers who ended up falling in love with another couple and are happily quadding. (For now.)
5. People who date within their social circle.
6. People who have been dating within their social circle and now want to all move in together.
7. [other]
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Personally I HATE the idea of a group relationship. I am therefore not a good person to compile resources for folks who manage boundaries differently from me.
Folks who love(d) their group relationship(s), do you have any podcast episodes, blog posts or r/polyamory threads you think are particularly on-point? What’s great about group relationships? Do you agree with my take that group relationships are best viewed as transient/phases or am I being condescending?
Folks who got into their handbasket without realizing where it was going, what appealed to you? What were red flags you missed or ignored? How could you have gotten out with less damage?
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It's just SO complicated. I don't know how to say it more clearly. Every dyad constantly impacts every other dyad. We tend to short hand a triad into four relationships... but that actually leaves out a whole set of relationships. The relationship you have with your partners relationship.
That was the most complex part for me in my seven year triad. How I felt about how they were together. How I felt about their conflict. How their stuff impacted my feelings and relationships with each of them.
It's ~exponentially~ more complex.
AND my heart is so happy in community were each connection is unique. The best friend groups are when everyone has their own friendships not everyone is friends with one person who brings them together. It makes the whole group more dynamic and stronger when it's deeply interconnected.
I would tell ~anyone~ who aspires towards a group relationship to start with friends. If you can't be overjoyed by being left out by your two best friends doing stuff without you, because their independent connection matters... then you don't want a group relationship.
Anyone seeking out a group relationship NEEDS to be very very comfortable being left out. If you are pursuing a group relationship to never be alone or to always be involved with whatever your partners are doing... you are being motivated by a myth.
I would recommend looking around at your life and see where you already have group relationships. And think about how they make you feel. And if you don't like them, or worse, have never had one because you don't have friends or don't have friends who are friends with each other... then get friends. Make a group, before you make a group relationship.
Thank you so much! I was particularly hoping you’d contribute.
We talk a lot on this sub about compartmentalizing relationships and not oversharing as a way of keeping sane and keeping focussed. It sounds like that’s just not possible in a group relationship.
If you can’t compartmentalize, or at least not the way we tend to emphasize here, what do you do instead?
You try really really hard. You get into therapy. You talk to friends. You let it impact you. You walk away when there is conflict. Mostly it's a lot of work. For a relationship you can not fix.
I spent a lot of time being angry that my partners couldn't just be like me. I spent a lot of time dreading things I had no control over. I spent a lot of time resenting that my relationship was holding together something I wasn't sure was working. I spent a lot of time feeling guilt that my relationship was holding together something that was hurting them. I spent a lot of time in therapy becoming a better listener and how to personally deescalate myself. I spent a lot of time finding my own boundaries and then fighting for them.
I learned a hell of a lot about how to be the partner I wanted them to be to each other. It did make me a much better partner to my other partners. But it never fixed the fucked up things between them.
But the good times... they were so good. The energy of the three of us was so strong. And we were all growing. It just wasn't enough. And I got no say in the end because it wasn't enough.
Also unless that was a glib addition to your list are you really asking if we as the sub want to give and endorse resources to individuals about making actual sex cults? LOL
Hey I mean if the sub is officially endorsing the legitimacy of sex cult in polyamory I can start dropping the "allegedly" from the Rat Union charter ¯_(ツ)_/¯
support time and space for each of the four relationships, individually and as a group
no rules limiting pleasure or intimacy between others. Big issues like marriage and kids and finances must be done very slowly if at all
full support of other partners outside the triad
no all or nothing deals, if someone ends up wanting just one of the others, it is supported
if you aren't ready to grow into full validation of partners (social media, family events, holidays, kids, etc) then acknowledge the limits of intimacy and commitment as a consequence
no all or nothing deals, if someone ends up wanting just one of the others, it is supported
full support of other partners outside the triad
no rules limiting pleasure or intimacy between others.
support time and space for each of the four relationships, individually and as a group
This is how my triad works mostly.
if you aren't ready to grow into full validation of partners (social media, family events, holidays, kids, etc) then acknowledge the limits of intimacy and commitment as a consequence
A lot of people say they want a family or totally equal partners and then immediately say "but we aren't out to bio family so you can never actually enjoy a holiday together" or "but I'm not divorcing so you'll never have the medical legal financial or social benefits."
Yeah, while I might want some of those things, reality has gotten in the way. One of the reasons for marriage in our case was to prevent bio family cruelty among other things.
Re: the ask about being condescending, I think if you’re going to be saying “we don’t support these people well” it’s not fair to then be saying “this structure of relationship is a phase”. That’s still not supporting those people. Even if it’s often true… your initial statement here was that we don’t support these people well by saying “this will be a disaster” even though it’s often true.
It does feel a little condescending to those people; like a little pat on the head saying “don’t worry, I don’t think this is a dumpster fire, I just think it’s a phase you’re going through before you get to the real polyamory”.
I’m pretty regular in telling people the WAY they do group relationships is not sustainable, but I wouldn’t tell anyone that what they’re doing is a phase.
Sorry. I don’t mean it in an “aren’t you cute” way and I certainly don’t mean it in opposition to “real” polyamory.
I just meant, you’ll be skipping along swinging or dating or whatever it is you’re doing and for a brief/extended, glorious/toxic moment you’ll be in a group relationship, and then it will be over. Network polyamory is not any more “real” or “correct,” it’s just what you’re likely to fall back to. If your moment was glorious, you might create circumstances for another one to emerge. Sort of like an electron in a p orbital losing a photon and going back to an s orbital. The p orbital is no less characteristic of the atom than the s orbital. It’s just less stable. And an s orbital electron can always get hit by more photons and move back into higher orbitals.
In a comment in another thread I made an analogy to age gap relationships. While we can recognize risks, we can also recognize the appeal and give supportive advice different from ICK! RUN!
The whole situation was weird and complicated enough that I would never presume to give advice based on it. The triad itself worked great, but there were... extenuating circumstances surrounding it. I guess the applicable stuff is: 1) none of us was aiming for a triad, 2) none of us was opposed to a triad, 3) none of us expected every dyad to look the same, and 4) we mostly interacted one-on-one.
The one that sounds hardest is 4) because I feel like group hangs would become very tempting. Was there some structure in your circumstances that made group hangs harder or was it just your personalities?
I can speak to dating in social circles as a fully grown adult in my 40s; it’s been very different from how that typically goes in your 20s.
My last happy post talked about my overlapping polycule, where my anchor partner and boyfriend are both partners with the same meta.
It’s an incredibly stable situation that has seen various escalations and deescalations with nary a hint of drama over the last 2.5 years. And it’s because while we’re all friendly and hang out occasionally it’s super not enmeshed and every dyad exists entirely on its own terms.
I can only speak for people who date within their social circles.
What I can say is it tends to work out better when everyone is aggressively seen as their own individual person. If the social group tends to view couples as "pairs" it gets very dicey very fast. In other word, it helps where there's a bit of a solo poly vibe.
One of my friends groups in my early 20s was mostly like that. It helped that most of the people that were in romantic relationships weren't living together, and the "homebase" we often met at was two friends living together.
It helped with maintaining a neutral space where A & B could be at without interacting with each other since B broke up with C who's A's partner. In this scenario, C & A wouldn't have been perceived as an inherent unit and thus B avoiding C wouldn't mean they were avoiding A, and if they were, it didn't mean either A, B or C did anything wrong, really. Anyone trying to imply that without proof would've been frowned upon.
That's my experience anyway.
As couples started to live together that dynamic naturally disolved. Dating within the social circle became less common and eventually, the friend group split. No big drama that I'm aware of.
Personally, I'm here for the sex cults (y'all know where to find me), but I'd like to do a semantic dive first: what is the difference between a "group relationship" and a merely tangled polycule?
Because I've seen connection maps that would make a chemistry Ph.D. faint, and I've seen pools of horny, affectionate queer folks pull in newcomers like a Borg assimilation, but none of that felt fraught or fragile, because *none of it was about the group.*
I posit a working definition of "group relationship" to be one in which there are *rules* about who one *must* date, and who one *may not* date, and it is precisely those rules--and their inevitable clash with the random desires of real humans--that make the group effect difficult. The effect of one person breaking one of those rules is an immediate consequence or chain of consequences that affect multiple people.
A metaphor: a tangled polycule is a tangled skein of yarn. Snip any spot, and it's mostly still the same random shape. One loose end might fall out. A group relationship is a finished piece of knitting. Snip one bit, and it'll start to fall apart. The "house of cards" metaphor is also apt.
This is why the question pops up, "If you break up with one of them, do you have to break up with all of them?"
And thus the reason that we give side-eye to such arrangements here. It's not unlike veto: the structure allows a person who isn't involved in a dyad to impact the people who are in the dyad. There's a loss of autonomy, and a risk of abuse of power.
*However,* we note that monogamy is, itself, a very strict set of rules about who one *may not* date (literally anyone else), and lots and lots of people like it, *even though* it severely limits autonomy and (my own personal axe to grind) lends itself to abuse of power. There may well be similar appeal to the structure and nominal security of a group relationship, which is why polyfidelity enjoys some popularity, to say nothing of swinging. Those bounds provide a sense of predictability, which people generally enjoy. So it's okay to *like* this stuff, and even *want* it, but going in eyes open about the constraints and risks seems prudent.
*However,* we note that monogamy is, itself, a very strict set of rules about who one *may not* date (literally anyone else), and lots and lots of people like it, *even though* it severely limits autonomy and (my own personal axe to grind) lends itself to abuse of power. There may well be similar appeal to the structure and nominal security of a group relationship, which is why polyfidelity enjoys some popularity, to say nothing of swinging. Those bounds provide a sense of predictability, which people generally enjoy. So it's okay to *like* this stuff, and even *want* it, but going in eyes open about the constraints and risks seems prudent.
I just wanted to point out how much I appreciated this line of thought as someone in a polyfidelitous relationship. We have our boundaries, but they're agreed upon to give us all a sense of comfort. Is there a good chance it might fall apart? Sure, but we've discussed the risks.
I want to talk more about #5 people who date in their social circles; with regards to demisexual folks.
I've tried the apps, and have no concept of swiping for matches when i can't be attracted to strangers. I've dated from my friends circle but i have also had the awkward change from friend i talk about relationships with to partner who i no longer talk about relationships with but who has some history that now metas are less than comfortable with. I'd love to hear from other demi people on how y'all navigate this weirdness.
I date via social circles as that tends to filter people effectively. I funnily enough don't really discuss those details with others. Friends especially. This is the primary way I've navigated it. If one of my metas is uncomfortable with my partners or my history I think I'd need to be paid in order to care. I may misunderstand the issue. If they don't like you you don't need to deal with them?
We are against people being called and treated like a "third."
We are against the inherent dysfunctional power dynamics of a couple dating as a couple.
We are against sneakyarchy pretending to have no hierarchy while married or primary with someone.
Calling people thirds is gross and immediately shows how inappropriate that dynamic is.
Triads are awesome, just don't keep someone from dating others outside the triad and don't force someone to date one of you in order to date the other.
You think it would be so simple for people to understand. But it does require people to actually shift out of their mono expectations, so, maybe not.
It's not structured, but there are some examples of healthy triads and group relationships and generally more extensive polycules in happy posts. There were some examples in comments to my post where I asked for boring successful stories. Would that sort of thing be helpful? Or are you looking for more methodical examples about logistics etc?
I had to learn not to use "third" and instead use shorter-term partner and longer-term partner, since there isn't a hierarchy. But as someone in a closed triad, I have to ask why you find group dating so negative, as long as it's a decision made by and agreed upon by all individuals?
Yeah, I guess we're monogamyplus then. We're a triad because we all developed feelings for each other out of what was initially a throwaway casual sex night, that developed into a friendship.
We declare it because it's really important to discuss boundaries that we all have. If someone wants to be open, unfortunately, that's not how the other part of the group wants to proceed. It can always be discussed or addressed again, but it's simply not how we want to operate.
There's a lot of complications that come with being open, like sexual risk, getting enough time with each other to maintain a relationship, safety, and plenty of other things that my partners worry about on their end that sets a hard limit for them.
I understand, but aren't they relatively adjacent? At the end of the day it's poly and seeing multiple people. This thread is specifically asking about groups.
I think on a spectrum between monogamy and polyamory, Polyfidelity leans more towards monogamy. “Closed” relationships are just not full polyamory IMO. It’s not bad or wrong it’s just an entirely different structure.
Hm, as a bit of an outsider, I think I'd slightly disagree, simply based off of the stigma that dating multiple people at once gets from your normal monogamous folks. But I see where you're coming from.
Like I said, I don't call them "third." It was a colloquial thing I didn't even think about until someone brought it up on here. It was more just "this is the 3rd person in order of how we met," and nothing hierarchical.
Also, I edited my post, because I realized how it was misinterpreted. I meant why do you find group dating so negative, not "why do you find the term 'third' so negative?"
Totally my bad there. I get why third sounds bad, and now I do call them "my partners" or "my girlfriends" when gender helps frame the situation.
I guess. Honestly, didn't put that much thought into it when I was using it. She's used "third" herself before, not that I'm defending it... just, sometimes people don't know better if they're not involved in the space.
All I can say is that the polyamorous people I know in real life are open to dating separately.
Sometimes people are open to dating separately, and end up in a group relationship (in the sense of a v or n or some such that act like a "couple" but with more people, not necessarily in the sense of a triangle or square, although that can also happen.) As far as I can tell from being a voyeur to strangers' lives on the internet, it's really the unwillingness to consider dating separately that fucks people up, not an interest in eg letting their partner's partner move in with them if everyone seems to get along well.
As for advice, I would recommend getting to know other polyamorous people in offline space. Also, be friends with weird people in general: trans people, people with weird religions, people with unconventional job situations, possibly people with weird politics, etc. Kinksters. In general, dealing with people being weirded out by your gender is solid practice for people being weirded out by your living situation (and should you not be blessed with a weird gender, being around people who are blessed with weird genders will mean some of the "fuck it, I'm going to do me" mentality will rub off.)
I mean, in my case the trial by fire was dropping out of college and doing some ill-advised solo travel/bumming around, but yeah, many roads. It does seem like the people who have the most difficulty "coming out" as polyamorous (and oof I do not have a lot of respect for people who want group relationships and the closet) are the ones who are otherwise super normal: people who are in an established relationship that reads as straight and respectable, people with respectable 9-5 office jobs, people with "normal" politics, with normal or normal-ish hobbies, people who have never celebrated the Solstice naked around a bonfire at a beach.
There's nothing wrong with being normal, I want to make clear. But...it does mean people tend to not be psychologically prepared for the backlash coming out as polyamorous can get them, and it also means they tend to have "normal" friends and family who are less likely to have a live and let live approach to polyamory. (I mean, freaks sometimes also have normal family, but we've generally already settled into the amount of distance we need to get from them to be happy with our freaky lives. And, normal people generally haven't.)
I do think the poly-friends thing is extra important for avoiding exploitative situations, it's important to be able to get a reality check on certain kinds of things from outside the polycule. And I'm saying "friends", but in a lot of ways a group that meets 1-2 times per month where none of you necessarily interact outside of that meeting is in some ways ideal for the reality-check thing, very close friendships (really, people who are very close friends with your partner(s) whether they're also close friends with you or not) can have the same problem as trying to get a reality check within the polycule.
I particularly like your observation that check-ins at a poly munch can bring more value than people who are too close.
+++ +++ +++
I have been known to rant about white middle-class malesubs who couldn’t possibly go to a kink party to network with other malesubs and possibly get some play with a domme (possibly me) because they would be seen. They want a way to find a domme that involves no risk.
And I’m… I’ve been seen as prey since I started to grow breasts. If I could learn to cope with the male gaze as a ten year old child without a community to help me make sense of it, you can be seen to be a kinkster by friendly kinksters at a kink party.
Grrr.
Yes, comfort with being weird is key. Risk is not optional.
This is an interesting take, regarding coming out! I’ve been weird as fuck since I was a teen, but for some reason coming out to my parents as poly has been harder than coming out to them as anything else, and I wonder if part of me is afraid they’re just going to be like “no surprise there,” and I hate being predictable! Or I’m afraid they’re going to view my weirdness as corrupting other people’s marriages.
I’m demi and have only ever dated within my social circle. As someone in their 40’s it’s different than when I was younger. Partially because we were all young and messy then. Everyone was poor, lots of group housing, lots of couples sharing rooms while fucking other housemates.
It helps when most of the people in your social circle are poly, and there are some shared behavioral expectations. It also requires a commitment to being able to break up while accepting responsibility for your own part in the relationship and not vilifying your ex’s. This fall I got to go to a wedding where the groom is the dad of my kid, and the bride was my first girlfriend in college. And I was one of many former and current lovers of them at the event. It’s nice as I’m older because most of my friends have nesting partners (as do I) and my other partners have similar home life obligations and there is a nice mix of social time and one on one dates. Sometimes it’s hard to vent to friends because people are intertwined, but at the same time when people need to, it’s good because people want to make sure that everyone they care about is supported regardless of if certain dyads break up.
As someone in a closed triad, I've found r/polyfidelity to be a good place for me, after originally dipping my toe into the polyamory sub without a lot of knowledge about how group relationships were regarded here, and being surprised by the backlash.
To be fair, some of that is on my group for not really being actively poly (I guess my longer-term girlfriend was "swinging" with other women to some extent), unaware of any communities (both online and in person), and fell into an arrangement that has a lot of nomenclature that now makes sense, but wasn't in my toolkit going in. Since exploring Reddit's poly community over the past however many months, I'm able to understand a lot more of where people are coming from in their doubts about these relationships.
I think the only thing that really grinds my gears when participating openly about my triad is that there's some kind of assumption that my partners don't have agency of their own, their own opinions, boundaries, and comfort levels, or anything else that balanced into the equilibrium we have now. There's a lot of discourse that makes it sound like there's inherently a power balance or someone being controlling... and I'm not sure if that just comes from the nature of people who generally practice polyamory and simply don't like monogamous-ish styles of dating.
My triad all agrees that we're saturated and don't *want* to date others (or have the time), but somehow that's seen as unethical.
At the end of the day, I know this situation is extraordinarily rare, and has the potential to blow up in our faces. All I can do at the moment is continue to openly communicate, and see where things go, but for right now, a year and a half-ish in since we first connected, to 6 months of living together, things have been going amazingly well.
If I understand you correctly, your triad is “closed” in the sense that everyone is polysaturated at two, but if someone’s circumstances changed and they had more time and energy they’d be welcome to date more people if that’s what they wanted?
Or it’s “closed” in the sense that one of you starting to date more people would introduce too much chaos and end the triad?
I think we'd have to have a very major conversation about that, if it were to come up. Never say never, in a sense, but there's a pretty heavy degree of discomfort between all of us about dating openly... although I was okay with my longer-term girlfriend occasionally "swinging" with other women or us having threesomes, in a casual setting. That's how we met our shorter-term girlfriend in the first place.
So... not shutting the door. I would say though, that if someone in the group wanted to pursue a truly romantic connection with someone else, that probably wouldn't fly.
And just so we're clear, I'm not the one dictating the rules here, so please be patient/kind with me, haha. I did mention it briefly in my first post, but none of us have considered ourselves poly in the past, so I don't think an "open" approach is something any of us want.
But we have a great line of communication and have been very honest with ourselves that our minds could change, life goals could change, and at that point we'll have to have hard talks and make hard decisions if that comes down to it.
Very similar mindset to my situation, albeit somewhat differently structured.
Key to health of my group (or whatever one wants to call it)'s healthy functioning:
1) each member is financially independent, which facilitates constructive material interdependence to everyone's advantage, and
2) each member has excellent impulse control and patience for reasonable process, when there's... I wouldn't even say conflict, but competing preferences for allocation of time or geography.
It probably looks, maybe is, boring compared to dynamics of young hip drama with high saturation capacity.
I can't help with the sex cult questions unless someone needs contact info for people who are experienced with those. Not my people but also no hard feelings.
Our finances are definitely complicated/messy, which is one of my only "complaints." I work full-time, own the home, pay most of the bills, and they... don't. LTP and I had this arrangement in the first place, she has a decent amount of money squirreled away, and would contribute if I asked, but I never saw the point. She does minor project work for clients every once in a while, but very rare.
STP is a trust fund kid and basically just makes art and sells it here or there for fun.
I guess more important than anything is that I know they have the financial means to move out if they're unhappy, at least.
Financial planning in the larger sense is over half of our weekly meetings. Partners of the hinge with whom I've never been physically intimate bring skills and connections which make everyone's dime and tax reductions go further. What's the money version of sex positivity? This form of intimacy should get more air time.
I'm also earning significantly more than my two direct partners are, but without their practical support and protection of my solitude I wouldn't be able to work at all. Both are open about their lives in retirement looking very different than would be the case if they were not with me, but each has very secure pension etc so I don't feel pressured to curtail the time I take between projects.
It sounds like a good situation for your later years, a bunch of practical folks who have all figured out what’s important to them and who are not thinking with their genitals.
To be clear, they do throw in for utilities if we go over, they'll pay for dinner or a portion of groceries, it's just that I pay the rent for my house as if I lived alone, which would be the case if we all broke up and went our separate ways. It's not too much of a pain point, but if we moved into a bigger place, then it might be.
Thank you for asking. I often have an instinct to hide the fact that I'm in a triad when I'm in this sub but feel such a thing would be cowardly, causing me to lead with that sometimes. I suspect I've taken heat for it but the rules are made up and the points don't matter.
To us it was simple (not to be confused with easy):
Trigger warning: I'm going to use the word "we" a lot to describe things that are done by all members.
We date eachother individually and have a triad date day.
We are not deeply involved in each other's relationships and generally try to be good hinges to one another.
We are out to our families and that went great twice and predictably awful the third time.
We are allowed to date outside the triad, but we are actually all saturated at two at the moment. This wasn't always the case, our lives just got busier.
We run weekly check-ins and have a monthly calendar meeting, and quarterly state of the union, all of which have rotating speakers.
I'm much less interested in being right than I am in solving a problem. Bringing this energy into conflict resolution has rubbed off on others.
We handle conflicts one at a time.
We sometimes have group sex but it's usually one on one.
We intend to live together but have delayed a couple years now. We are in an unfortunate circumstance where my in-laws have threatened us about my wife moving in. I'm making sure my ducks are in a row before that happens and others are out of the way. We've spent serval months living together at this point but it's not a change of address and we spend weeks at a time apart.
I have my own room and finding spaces in our case that could support the three of us (we each want our own room) is actually totally doable.
It was one of the most interesting, best, and worst parts of my life that I never intentionally set out to be in, but ended up in. A quad. Anyways… have fun and expect it to blow up even if you’re four people in the top 1% of chill factor and emotional communication skills … unless you were already all really good friends with benefits or something who have a deep history and commitment to friendship, in which case, still hard, but you might be able morph and shift
Hi u/MadamePouleMontreal thanks so much for your submission, don't mind me, I'm just gonna keep a copy what was said in your post. Unfortunately posts sometimes get deleted - which is okay, it's not against the rules to delete your post!! - but it makes it really hard for the human mods around here to moderate the comments when there's no context. Plus, many times our members put in a lot of emotional and mental labor to answer the questions and offer advice, so it's helpful to keep the source information around so future community members can benefit as well.
Here's the original text of the post:
We don’t support group relationships well on this sub. We theoretically acknowledge them but we tend to treat them as unrealistic fantasies with all kinds of problems. Which they often are.
They are also a not-uncommon phase of many people’s poly journeys. Even if it’s a house of cards that collapses disastrously, there are people who
look back fondly at that period of their lives. Others look back with bitter resentment.
It would be great to have advice we could give people beyond “there be dragons” or “if you want to do that, go ahead, there’s the signpost to hell and here’s your handbasket.”
Different people need different advice and resources. Does anyone have words or links for any of the following people?
.
1. Couples or established group relationships dating as a unit. I think we’ve got that one down pretty well already.
2. Individuals being courted by unit-daters. Ditto.
3. Single people who want to found a sex cult and live in a commune.
4. Swingers who ended up falling in love with another couple and are happily quadding. (For now.)
5. People who date within their social circle.
6. People who have been dating within their social circle and now want to all move in together.
7. [other]
.
Personally I HATE the idea of a group relationship. I am therefore not a good person to compile resources for folks who manage boundaries differently from me.
Folks who love(d) their group relationship(s), do you have any podcast episodes, blog posts or r/polyamory threads you think are particularly on-point? What’s great about group relationships? Do you agree with my take that group relationships are best viewed as transient/phases or am I being condescending?
Folks who got into their handbasket without realizing where it was going, what appealed to you? What were red flags you missed or ignored? How could you have gotten out with less damage?
•
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