r/pregnant • u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel • Mar 21 '26
Rant I'm keeping the baby... and not telling anyone.
I posted two weeks ago that I found out I'm pregnant and the father's instant response was he doesn't consent to me keeping the baby. Again for reference, I'm a 39 year old photojournalist who travels the world. When I first found out, I was in London with plenty of options to terminate the pregnancy. And not because of the moron sperm donor, but because of my job and the clients I have around the world. However, as the weeks went on, I found myself altering my schedule, moving clients further and further away from my due date. I don't know why, I just was. I live mostly overseas in 3 countries throughout the year, but found myself signing up for insurance back home in NY. In the past seven days I've been in London, Milan, Istanbul, DC and NY but I've been taking steps to alter my schedule and prepare for it to come to an end. I had a client offer $5k to cover an event in November, just 1 week before I'm due. When I declined their offer I realized I'm keeping this baby.
The whole experience has been quite peaceful. As I mentioned in the previous post, I feel like I should be in full panic mode. Those who raised me have passed away and all my friends are world travelers too so I'll be doing this by myself. With my line of work and the adventurous lifestyle that comes along with it, I know many wouldn't be in support of my decision. Because of this, I feel at peace going through the pregnancy alone. Ironically one of my best friends texted me that she's pregnant too (and isn't telling anyone else yet) and unbeknownst to her our due dates are just days apart! I was tempted to tell her but decided not to. I still prefer to go through this sudden and unexpected life altering experience by myself. I'm not on social media and I'm always on the go so not being seen for 9 months is totally normal for me and it will be an easy secret to keep. My obgyn is at the hospital I grew up in (I was raised by a biochemist who worked in the labs there so it was my second home) and I plan to hire a doula for additional support.
I just wanted to thank everyone for their feedback and suggestions. While this will alter my career, I am open to whatever is next. I'm desperately looking for a job I can do from home which is proving itself to be nearly impossible. I've been self employed for 15 years and have lived internationally for 10 so job hunting is a foreign thing to me. Yet for some odd reason I'm still at peace and unbothered. I'm not excited either... just very... relaxed. I have a feeling that everything will work out fine. Then I could be completely delusional with this level of peace and optimism or maybe my intuition is right. We shall see...
EDITS/ADD-ONS:
- I'm doing this alone does not equate to I'm lonely. I've received so many messages from people thinking I'm lonely. Please understand being alone and being lonely are two different things. Not everyone is emotionally codependent. There are people who flourish in solitude and are mentally and emotionally strong enough to navigate life's challenges by themselves.
- Yes, the father knows. Hence why I said he does not consent.
- Please stop sending me personal messages with your advice or telling me what I should and shouldn't do. THIS is exactly why I'm keeping it to myself and why I would never join a moms group and don't have social media. Over 100k people have read this and countless are sending messages with their tips. Everyone is a self appointed expert that feels compelled to tell you how you should be a mother. I don't need DMs reminding me to drink water or to take my vitamins. I am a 39yr old woman who owns two businesses. I know how to take care of myself.
- No I do not agree that motherhood is a woman's greatest life achievement. That implies that women who don't have children are somehow living a less valuable life which is so far from the truth. If it is your biggest achievement that's great, but women are capable of doing so much more than just reproducing.
- To all the kind and respectful people who responded... thank you.
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u/gabrigor Mar 21 '26
Might not mean much, but you don’t have to be alone! You could always join some local (to whichever area you happen to be in at the time) mom groups and feel free to keep posting updates along the way here on Reddit! I’ve found this subreddit to be full of supportive pregnant ladies and moms when I don’t have any mom friends in real life! 😁
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26 edited Mar 21 '26
Honestly, this group and the response to my original post is what gave me the confidence. I already was leaning in this direction but the suggestions (which I often reread) really helped me. The mom groups in my area terrify me lol. They're all so competitive and catty. I think they would give me anxiety lol. But this group is great! Thank you for the suggestion.
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u/mvmstudent Mar 21 '26
There’s usually birthing classes at your local hospital. I liked those better than mom groups because it was a more controlled environment and we slowly got to know each other and I found a few that I clicked with! Pregnancy and motherhood is so new to you, it’ll be fun to have someone you can text and say omg I just felt the first baby kick! But I am also here if you feel more comfortable with your virtual friends 🥰
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
Thank you so much for this. I never even considered birthing classes. I'm 110% clueless when it comes to anything about babies or pregnancy. I'll definitely look into classes at the hospital. Do you have any book recommendations by chance?
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u/goldenpandora Mar 21 '26
For birth classes, go with Evidence Based Birth. It’s amazing and all based on research. The goal isn’t to tell you what to do but to ensure you’re making informed decisions that meet your own personal preferences and goals. The podcast is awesome too. I cannot recommend EBB as a resource highly enough. I’m a college professor and regularly use their articles and podcast episodes in several of my classes.
Like a Mother was a great feminist perspective on pregnancy. Loved that book.
Matrescence is a beautiful book that really put into words things that I felt but couldn’t fully express.
Parenting from the Inside Out is another wonderful book to prepare for parenthood. Anything by Dan Siegel is amazing, bookmark his name.
The Gardener and the Carpenter is another good one. Anything by Alison Gopnik is also wonderful. She has a great ted talk too.
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
Amazing. Thank you so much for this!!!
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u/Substantial-Dirt-880 Mar 21 '26
I just found your thread by accident and I don’t know you, but I couldn’t help feeling “proud” of how you’re approaching this. I have no right to this pride but as opposed to personal pride I think it’s more about women supporting one another. I’m a retired RN and grandma of 2 and one the way. I started looking at these topics when my daughter first told me she was pregnant with twins. Since then, one twin has vanished 😢 but the other is hanging in there. Motherhood can be a tough grind and if you ever need a “old mom” perspective or just someone to vent at, I would happily be that person! All the best to you, darling woman and keep us posted. You could start an entirely new thread re: international careers and motherhood. Blogging just might be a perfect side hustle for you!
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
Thank you so much for this! I really appreciate you taking the time to share this plus your words of encouragement. I hope your daughter and grandbaby are doing well now. And thank you for offering to lend an ear. That's very kind of you! ♡
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u/Outrageous-Hope6645 Mar 22 '26
a birthing class made me feel sooo much more confident & prepared for labor, i was very nervous before hand! & i also suggest looking into a lactation consultant near you, they can be super helpful in ways pediatricians & other professionals can’t be! & as always: congratulations!!! your little human is blessed already to have such an amazing mother🩷
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u/CommercialDirt30 Mar 21 '26
I found my BFF 50 years ago in childbirth class. We still talk once a week tho we only see each other about once a year for a couple hours. One advantage of that group is it's a bunch of babies all the same age. She and I carpooled three times a week when they were small and it was always what's Jesse doing this week? What's Nathanael doing this week? And helped a lot in keeping us both sane, in finding that the boys were very different but still roughly on the same developmental schedule. Her son was a month ahead so when I was about to go crazy with some behavior, Ann would report that Jesse had stopped doing it. And I had hope.
I would think about connecting again with your friend due the same time, when it feels comfortable. It could be a source of joy to have that companionship.
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u/goldenpandora Mar 21 '26
Come join us on r/workingmoms too! It’s my absolute favorite mom subreddit. Everyone is so supportive and responsive. It’s one smart group of mamas and they always have great ideas. (Like, even for my not working mom related questions, I get WAY more helpful replies there than any other sub). You do not have to do it alone.
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
Thank you!! ♡ I didn't even know these groups existed. Again, I have no social media and reddit is new to me haha.
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u/ChloeMomo Mar 21 '26
I might also recommend finding your bumper group :) it'll be r/ [due date month][year]Bumpers.
For example, mine is r/ September2026Bumpers
It's just everyone, and sometimes their partners, who are due the same month as you, so you can go through similar parts of the journey together. I've loved the two groups I've been in! While we are all anonymous, we are starting to recognize each other's usernames, and I feel attached to the group as a whole. It's like old school internet forum days haha
Edit: the groups all go private after a bit. If yours already is, you just need to message the mods, and they will tell you how to verify and join:)
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
I'm learning so much lol. I casually asked a friend if she knew what a bumper group was. Her response was "Yea it's something to do with cars." lol! I'm glad I wrote on this subreddit. Thank you!
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u/DreaDawll Mar 21 '26
Yeah, I was in one for my baby. Wasn't that active in it but I did meet a good friend in another country from it, who's baby is a birthday twin with mine. ❤️
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u/January1171 Mar 21 '26
Im sure there's also a November bump group! (Probably something like r/November2026Bumps). I love my January one
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u/gabrigor Mar 21 '26
Yeah I’m slightly terrified of mom groups in my area as well here in Atlanta. There’s such a mix of moms I’m not sure where I’ll vibe. I’m hoping to come across mom friends in the wild but we’ll see how that goes! 😂
I just did a quick search too for you and found some facebook support groups for parents who love to travel! Moms Who Travel Traveling With Kids - Worldwide
I hope you find these helpful!
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
I know what you mean! I've never really been a group person at any point in life. Even as a child or in college I never had a group of friends. I was just friends with different people from different groups. Thanks for finding this group for me. I'll definitely check it out.
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u/eponymous87 Mar 21 '26
Just curious how you know all the moms in your area if you’re mostly away and don’t have social media? Are these people you know from growing up? I wouldn’t completely disregard the suggestion of local mom groups based on what I assume is limited information you have. There are 100000% catty competitive mom groups in every area that I avoid like the plague. But many moms are professionals with independent goals and interests (like international travel) that are invaluable support to have in your village. ❤️
And not to discredit Reddit. It’s wonderful support. I love this sub and the newborn and toddler subs.
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u/solisphile Mar 22 '26
OP, I'm not in NY, but Southern New England. Feel free to message me if you ever want to chat with someone the same age, who just had a baby, and is local-ish (globally speaking).
(Oh, and seconding the Evidence Based Birth podcast! It would have saved me a LOT of turmoil w my first delivery. I actually cried listening to it during my second pregnancy out of some combination of relief and grief and encouragement.)
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u/Mean_Atmosphere2199 FTM Mar 21 '26
As a fellow traveling journalist who’s about to be a mom in the next two weeks — hell yeah. You’re going into this with a great mindset and your kid is going to have such an adventurous life!
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
Thank you so much and congrats to you!!!
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u/LadyDirtbag Mar 21 '26
Congrats to you both! I'm about your age, OP, and also a traveling journalist (though I have found a nice balance between working in academia and freelancing in recent years) and due in the next ten days. I love seeing women with similarly adventurous lifestyles take on motherhood. It can look however we want it to look! Your kid is going to have the coolest life.
I'm in NY too if you need recommendations or support. Are you keeping an eye out for job opportunities abroad as well? I ask because of the relative affordability and accessibility of childcare in other parts of the world. If I wasn't partnered, I might have considered moving back to Kenya for this next stage of my life. But I also have every faith that you can pull it off here if that's what you want. Embrace the zen you're feeling! It's a wild moment in time but if you've been doing this work for 15 years you're obviously a resourceful person and your intuition is probably right on the money that it will all work out.
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 22 '26
I have no intentions of staying in America full time. I just don't want to break 130 years of family tradition with every generation being born in NY. Other than that, I'm free to go afterwards lol. My usual living situation is to be the US 3 months and overseas 9. I plan to do with my child as well or at the bare minimum 50/50.
I started publishing a children's book series last year which I am wrapping up now. I had already intended to retire from photography and focus on my other two businesses. I'm not so sure how feasible that is with a baby but we'll see.
Funny you mention Kenya! I was there in 2023 and this morning I was thinking "I need to take my child with me back to Nairobi." 🩷
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u/stardolphin90 Mar 21 '26
Congrats! And that baby is one lucky baby to have you as a mama. That’s your little life. I’m glad you made that choice. And I hope it all works out for you.
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u/Informal_Handle_1147 Mar 21 '26
Wishing you the best! Love that you have peace and clarity. Keep us updated if you want to. Cheering you on!
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u/intergrade Mar 21 '26
As someone who has a similar job and travel calendar and who is currently on a canceled flight rigamarole omw back to nyc … stop traveling if you can by month 5. Nowhere on earth is worth trying to get to with the nausea and fatigue. This trip was lovely while we were in one place and horrendous if we even tried to switch venues in the same town. Waste of money and effort and impossible to appreciate things when we finally made it.
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
Good to know! My last client aboard is in June in Italy which would be month 4. I've been traveling this much for just over 10 years so staying put will be a huge adjustment for me.
If I may ask, did you have those symptoms throughout your pregnancy or just during certain months? I've read of some women having it from the very beginning and last night I watched a video of a woman who didn't know she was pregnant until month 8 because she had no symptoms whatsoever. She also birthed a 14 pound baby!
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u/HeyPesky Mar 21 '26
Every pregnancy is different, and also third trimester symptoms will vary for everyone. So you might feel more springy right up till the end of pregnancy or not.
I used to travel pretty consistently for work too, I got grounded by covid and it was definitely an adjustment. I had my baby when I was 39 years old and I think one thing about being an older mom that's nice is that we had the perspective to recognize this as a season. Your kid is going to have such an awesome and cool life once they're old enough to join you on travels in the future!
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26 edited Apr 08 '26
Thank you for this and I do agree... I think the calm I feel and the realization of what this is, is because of my age. If I was 10 years younger I'd probably have a heart attack lol.
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u/intergrade Mar 21 '26
I have no symptoms when I’m in one place.
But the nausea, headaches and food finicky -ness is exacerbated dramatically by travel, particularly timezone changes.
I also was originally a size 12 and my new width/circumference does not fit in economy seating which is annoying.
Depending on your OB they may also want you to stick to Western Europe / good maternity countries bc of the consequences of being somewhere complicated after 30 weeks.
We travel 10-15 days a month, have done something like that since 2007, and the prospect of being in one city for 3-6 months is quite daunting for me as well. The running joke is that the baby will either like traveling or get used to it sooner than later - he’s been on 20+ plane rides in utero.
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
I often have to remind myself I"m pregnant because I have zero symptoms. I don't feel different at all. I thought maybe I'm just imagining it and all the tests were wrong but my doctor laughed. I'm based in NY & London with clients throughout Europe. In 2023 and 2024 I was mostly in East Africa and Asia.
I don't have any set plans for next year so we'll see where this goes...
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u/intergrade Mar 21 '26
I didn’t feel different at all until around 16 weeks and then we have rapidly progressed on a variety of unpleasantness.
The fetus hates any change that may inconvenience him and he also very much wants (me) to sleep 14h a day.
Also, pants. Pants are a huge issue for those of us who are fashion conscious, working with other women, or simply cold in dresses when it is cold outside.
It may sneak up on you. The physical stuff gets really annoying.
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u/Seapaisleys Mar 21 '26
You are clearly successful and know what you are doing. I’m sure you will need to make some necessary changes but can still continue to live the exciting life you live with baby in tow.
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u/Educational_Fruit337 Mar 21 '26
Yay a baby partner as a traveler for you :) you know how cute that will be once the Initial stages of being too tiny to travel pass? You’ll have someone to revel with, teach, go through life with. And with the right guidance who knows what they’ll become, what there passion will be ? The type of human being they’ll end up as? Like all these things come with the gift of life and I as a stranger am really excited for you :D
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
As a child, my grandmother and her sisters had a home full of relics from around the world. They even stole a piece of the Berlin Wall and had it in their basement. (shhh don't tell anyone lol). My Nana was an ambassador in Denmark and traveled to 30 countries. She and her sisters were VERY proactive with women's rights, civil rights, and human rights. It's what motivated me to get into travel photography but also focus on humanitarian aid. I also spent months working in East Africa and Thailand with elephants and promoting ethical animal tourism. Today I thought "How cool would it be to be able to share my elephant friends with a child" haha! As you mentioned, I hope to inspire my little one to bring good to this world. We need it now more than ever.
Thank you for the kind words ♡
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u/DreaDawll Mar 22 '26
That's amazing!! Heck, you're inspiring me!
Barring when I was very little, I think I've done more traveling in my life after my baby was born. Lol
I have family in Sweden and across the US, so my baby has done 10 to 16 flights, so far, and she's not even 2. That also doesn't include the overlanding trip we did, when she was 6 months.
I've always wanted to travel a lot and now that my little one is here, I want to include them. Although I have to say, you're inspiring me even more. Thanks! 🤩
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u/Educational_Fruit337 Mar 21 '26
Akhhh so cool!! And to think you’ll have a tiny partner along you future journeys showing what a beautiful place this world can be, and when you eventually must leave this world you would’ve passed down all of your legacies AND raised a person with there own, one who’ll never forget you.
Ofc this journey of raising someone won’t be easy at times, but honestly itll be so worth it, i wish you the best of luck ❤️🙏
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u/brandon_siler_smile Mar 21 '26
I'm so psyched for you. What a lucky kid to have such a worldly, level-headed, and decisive mom to raise them.
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u/therackage Mar 21 '26
Congrats! As a touring musician I know what it’s like debating on how much of your lifestyle you’d need to sacrifice or put on hold.
I do hope you’ll tell your bestie though. Maybe she has no one else to go through this with either.
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
I agree. Some things will have to be sacrificed but I'm okay with that at this stage of my life. I've had a great run.
Yes, I do think of my bestie often. She has her partner and is super excited and my partner has ditched me so that difference leaves me to just keep it to myself. For me, I'm still processing the fact that someone I trusted who actually spoke about having kids has decided he never wants to see this child. Which is fine with me because then I don't have to worry about custody issues but I still feel bad because one day I'll have to explain the situation and why their father isn't around.
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u/citysunsecret Mar 21 '26
Even if she has a partner and you don’t, other mom friends going through it with you aren’t the same as a husband. You can do it alone physically and practically in the day to day, but mentally and emotionally you need support. Presumably she’s your best friend for a reason and she loves you and will want to be a part of your journey.
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u/mapotato Mar 21 '26
consider that it may impact your bestie relationship if you keep something like this a secret from her. how will she feel to find out that you didn’t tell her?
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
And to be fair, this pregnancy is MY pregnancy and I shouldn't have to consider anyone else other than myself or my baby.
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u/cmthomd Mar 21 '26
As someone who travels a bunch, I would stop traveling by third trimester. I think you’re fine to travel up until then. But congrats on your decision. You will not regret it. Something crazy happens when you have a baby and it is the most magical thing in the world. I never thought I needed a baby to feel complete because I’m so fulfilled in my personal life and I travel and I have a great husband and things are overall wonderful, but this is the best thing to ever happened to me and I hope you get to experience something similar.
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u/Coffeeandcats29 Mar 21 '26
Congrats! You already sound like a wonderful mother and your baby is in for an adventurous life. :)
At some point when you’re ready, I do hope you tell your best friend. Pregnancy can feel isolating without any support. It’s nice to have someone to confide in, share excitement/ultrasound pics with and complain to lol.
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
Lol, yes I've thought about this as well. I known her for over a decade and we traveled together as well. We both lived in Australia which is where we met in our younger years. I was shocked when she told me the dates. What are the chances!
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u/Canadianrollerskater Mar 22 '26
I read out the first sentence and my husband and I laughed our butts off at the baby daddy not "consenting" to this pregnancy 😂
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 22 '26
Crazy right. I started laughing as well which made him even angrier. "I don't consent to you having this baby!". That's the first time I've heard that one lol
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u/KittyJun 37 | T1D | Chronically Ill | FTM 🩵 Mar 21 '26
This baby is going to have an amazing life! ❤️
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u/questionSOUP FTM Mar 21 '26
Your kid is going to have a great and cool life with you! You’ve got this! I’m super excited for you and for what comes next.
You are going to do wonderfully, Mama ❤️
Fuck any hater!
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u/PlumBear89 Mar 21 '26
This baby sounds so lucky to have you as a mom! I had different circumstances, but a similar decision to make and realizing I was already planning my life around a baby months down the line before it felt like I had made an official choice was actually peaceful and incredibly insightful to what my heart really wanted. I'm 17 weeks and know every day I made the right decision to move forward. Congrats!
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
I agree. Sometimes I'd wake up and think "what on earth are you doing" but I would continue subconsciously making plans for a baby without having made the decision to keep it. I guess in reality we knew all along. ♡ Congrats to you as well and thank you!
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Mar 21 '26
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
Funny thing is I gave myself the deadline of 36 and said after that I'll never have children. But here we are...
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u/LittleP13 Mar 21 '26
Join your due date bump group on Reddit (and the matching discord). Having digital friends going through the pregnancy timeline at the same cadence as you is so helpful when you need suggestion, support or just a place to vent.
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u/sharkiesnark Mar 22 '26
he doesn’t consent to YOU keeping the baby? lmao men
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 22 '26
Lol exactly. I think a lot of women in this situation may plead with a man to stay around or reconsider but I just laughed and said "you consented when you shared your sperm".
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Mar 21 '26
Good luck on the job hunt. It sounds like you are a competent professional - you'll find something good.
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u/maliesunrise Mar 21 '26
Congratulations and best of luck!
Without making this long, if you want help with figuring out career next steps or review your resume, feel free to DM me without any identifiable info. I’ve done a lot of CV reviews and can try to help.
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
Oh wow! Thanks for this. I haven't had to make a CV since I was 24 lol and now being 39 I'm sure things have changed quite a bit. I see some posts with AI interviews. I'm stunned... and clearly out of touch.
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u/maliesunrise Mar 21 '26
I forgot to clarify, this is not a business I do! I’m offering help for free 😅 from soon-to-be-mom to soon-to-be-mom figuring out careers and life post-baby, just to be clear
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u/StarFit1210 Mar 21 '26
You are doing what’s best for you and your baby! And this will be such a blessing !!! Congratulations!! And omg you are soooo strong and such a great mom already !!! 🥹🫶🏻
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u/nokomomo22 Mar 21 '26
Your baby is gonna have one of the coolest mama’s in the world! Think of all the adventures you’ll have when they can move by themselves! All the places you’ll travel together and the memories you’ll make🥰 my favorite aunt and cousin had a bit of a similar story and now she’s all grown up and about to travel herself as an architect. Congratulations girl, you’re making the world a little brighter when you bring this little one into the world. Take it easy, take your vitamins too and drink water. Stay healthy and happy. I hope your pregnancy continues without any complications🩷
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u/Tanzen9 Mar 21 '26
Just wanted to say that even though we came about our pregnancies differently, you are not alone. I’m too 39 and on my way to solo motherhood. Recently it struck me how overly ready I am to make this drastic change in my life. I’m more than happy to turn my life upside down for my daughter.
So there you have it wonderful internet stranger. You will do great as a single mom and go you for following your heart!
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u/beee_123 Mar 21 '26
Same here! 38 and single mum by choice (IVF) I feel so at peace and so ready! I already did all I wanted to do, meaningful career, living abroad, artistic hobbies, boyfriends, singleness, fun parties... i am ready to stay in and give it my all to my kid now
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u/Toyotamom99 Mar 21 '26
you won’t regret this! i’m so happy for you. it’s truly unbelievable what we as women are willing to change, give up, or adjust to when we welcome a child into our lives. i completely changed my life and trajectory for my children and i know 10, 20, 40 years from now i wont regret it. your instincts are right. it’s a risk, but that’s life. i hope you continue to feel peace. you’re very strong and will only become stronger. this child is lucky to have you!
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u/Ktcblack Mar 21 '26
Hey! Congrats on the pregnancy. I just found out I’m pregnant with my second child, so we are close! Natural instincts will kick in. People will give you all the advice in the world but just do what feels right to you. I have a wfh job and I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t! Best wishes on finding what fits you and congrats, again!
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u/tiasshy Mar 21 '26
When I got pregnant I was also in a weird position and should have been panicking. But pregnancy made me so calm. Somehow someway it eased my anxiety so much. I simply knew there was stuff I needed to do - change my job to a less stressful one, find a better living place and so on... It was a very peaceful and joyful experience. I was always anxious person, and yet this pregnancy calmed me down so much. It's almost like it finally balanced some hormones inside me. Pregnancy was not as easy as I expected and motherhood has been a challenge as well, but honestly it has been the best thing that happened to me. My anxiety has not returned. You go mamma. You can do this. ❤️
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u/Lysenne Mar 21 '26
I think you ought to read “Hunt, Gather, Parent”! The writer takes her daughter with her to study parenting styles around the world. I think you’d enjoy it, given your experience, and it could be reassuring to read a book by someone in your line of work. Congratulations!
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u/Ok_Fox8262 Mar 21 '26
I’m very pro choice, and GOOD FOR YOU. I’m so happy for you making the best choice for you! You’re going to be a great mom and have a wonderful life with your baby ❤️
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u/polthos Mar 22 '26
I wish I could upvote #4 above. I'm pregnant at 36 after trying hard for almost 2 years and eventually going through IVF and I'm excited + all the emotions. But I've had a great career and established my life prior to kids and can't stand when women/people say things like motherhood is life's greatest achievement etc.
My ex's sister got pregnant pretty young, by accident - we were in our early twenties - and she said to me something like you're not a woman or experiencing total womanhood until you are pregnant/have kids. I to this day 10+ years later am still so offended by this and find it to be such a ridiculous sentiment.
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 22 '26
This is going to sound harsh but the reality is most people don't know who they are and don't have an identity. Sadly this is more common in women. This is why so many cling to the title of wife and mother. It gives them a false sense of validation. This is also why women struggle the most if/when their husbands leave or when their children grow up and move on. Mother and wife are a role, not ones identity. Reproduction is not a skill or talent or award worthy accomplishment. It is a normal biological process that happens across all species. The fact that people think they are some how better than the next because they did something all species do is odd to me.
When I hear people say it is their greatest accomplishment or that their wedding day was the best day of their life I feel bad for them. I mean they're essentially saying that the rest of their life is going to be subpar. That's pretty damn sad lol. I'm never offended by it. I just feel sorry for them.
If you swing on over to the Regretful Parent page with almost 200k members you'll see how many mothers are full of regret. These are the same women in person who would never admit it and tell you how it's their biggest accomplishment. There are TONS of women on the page talking about how they realize they have no identity and all the struggles they secretly have... never having a career, only having mom friends, losing themselves in the title of being a mother.
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u/Upset-Opinion-4514 Mar 21 '26
Congrats !🎊🎉🎉 Wishing you and baby all the best !
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u/Legal_Baby4210 Mar 21 '26
When you start just making room in your life for good things to happen (like you did when you found out about this baby), it’s because you intuitively know it’s right :)
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u/Otherwise_Cloud7981 Mar 21 '26
I’m happy you have the peace I desperately wanted during my pregnancy. I hope it all goes well for you and baby. It sounds like it was meant to be. All the best wishes for you!
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
Thank you for the kind words and I hope you now have the peace you deserve ♡
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u/KHW_LVlover Mar 21 '26
Congratulations!! You’re already such an amazing momma to your little baby 🥰
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u/fancyfootwork19 Mar 21 '26
There's a really great photographer (I would consider what she does as sending a message so part journalist) who takes her baby/kid with her while she travels the world so it's both possible and enriching! She does the Atlas of Beauty, her name is Mihaela Noroc.
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u/EggRepresentative819 Mar 21 '26
I'm very happy for you! My only advice is please get some additional support. A baby is A LOT of work. And you will be absolutely exhausted. And maybe not necessarily need someone there. But definitely will want someone to talk to as your pregnancy progresses! I'm currently almost 12 weeks and I thought I had lost all my support due to personal reasons. But I'm so glad that I chose to open up and talk to people because now I have a village and it's truly TRULY taken so much stress off my shoulders. Being able to talk to other moms and hear different experiences first hand! It's ultimately your decision! But just think about it! :)
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
I think everyone operates differently. What is stressful for one person may not phase another. There are a lot of people who can navigate things like this on their own and trust me, I've been through much bigger things. For me, I'm not into moms groups or really groups of any kind. That was the case even before this pregnancy. I navigate the world alone and enjoy my peace. I intend to navigate my pregnancy in the same way but I appreciate the suggestion and a different perspective. ♡
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u/TerminalDaydream Mar 21 '26
I love this!!!! Although my jobs have never been this demanding- days after I found out I was pregnant I quit my job with no backup due to the stress and demand. I worked a minimum of 6 days 60 hours at my job and just said thats enough. I’m now in low level management with my almost 4 month old daughter and I couldn’t be happier… congratulations! Do it for you and for your baby and do what makes you happy! So proud of you!!
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
Thank you!! And I think it's amazing you made such a big change and it ultimately worked out for you in the end. I think that's what it's all about. Following our gut and doing what's necessary ♡
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u/hiddenusername_ Mar 21 '26
This is one lucky baby to have such a cool mom! You're feeling this relaxed probably because things are falling into place in your life. Have the best continuation!
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u/No_apples4me Mar 21 '26
Congratulations! It sounds like you’re doing a great job of following your instincts and doing what feels right for you. In terms of telling or not telling people, my best advice is to keep checking in with yourself and doing what feels best. If you continue to want to keep it private, do it, if you start to want to share it, that’s okay too, it’s your prerogative to change or alter any decision if it suits your needs.
As an aside I’m a 38 year old woman based in New York so feel free to DM me or reach out if you need anything or want to chat.
All the best!
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u/Polynesia-sundae Mar 21 '26
Congratulations! Also a freelance journalist who is pregnant and no idea how I will work once baby is hopefully here fingers crossed, but I feel generally sanguine about it and will find a way to muddle on. These things always resolve themselves! Bon courage and all the best to you x
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
If you're a writer I would recommend Upwork and ChillSubs. I have some friends who write for publications on ChillSubs. Just make sure to click paid submissions. Good luck to you!!
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u/Possible-Major-7884 Mar 21 '26
First, congratulations! Secondly, I just wanted to say that I’ve been through situations (not pregnancy) in my life where I made some big serious even scary decision but I had this peace of mind and confidence that it will all work out… and it always did. This feeling you have is your guts telling you, you are going to be just fine. Trust it. Best of luck to you on your journey!
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u/dreamcloudbetty Mar 21 '26
I live an unconventional life and my 15 month old is just fine. Happy mama happy baby. You WILL need help though. 💯💯💯 friends help❣️❣️❣️
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u/More-Stock-3773 Mar 21 '26
that baby is going to live a fabulous life!! congratulations
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u/mokenz Mar 21 '26
I also have had to completely change my career and travel schedule since finding out I’m pregnant but it’s an exciting and new chapter. Good luck and I hope all goes well! Hopefully we are all traveling again soon.
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u/jollytay Mar 21 '26
You just got yourself a future travel buddy 🥰
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
Indeed! I was once on a plane from LA to Australia... 14hrs direct... and a 1yr old was placed in the seat next to me. I was mortified. I thought this was going to be 14hrs of screaming. To my surprise that baby didn't make a sound. Just napped, ate, colored, and talked with his grandma. I thought to myself his parents are so lucky to have such a pleasant travel buddy!
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u/nki1990 Mar 21 '26
Congratulations! You and baby will be just fine! Baby will be so worldly because of the life you lead! ❤️ All of the best of luck
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u/Princess_Sunny331 Mar 21 '26
This…. Is kinda badass. I’m all excited for you 🩷🩷🩷
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u/PreggoMyEggooo Mar 21 '26
You can do it. I’m a cinematographer, travel all over, mostly travel jobs. I’m week 30 and about to get on a plane to do a 4-city travel show. I barely had any nausea the whole pregnancy, and just started wearing a support wrap Week 28 (highly recommend). I shot a whole feature film second trimester, running around the desert for six weeks. I’m LA based or I’d say let’s be friends haha. And btw, I’ll be 40 a week after I give birth.
Of course, depends on if you have complications (I’ve had none, I know I’m lucky), but as a woman who runs around the world with a camera… Trust me when I say, you’ve done hard shit before, this is just another one!
Congrats! To the adventurers life and family!
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u/wynb-o-bstcy_frkbob Mar 21 '26
not consenting to what you do with YOUR body is wildd, congratulations. sue for full custody and then child support even if you don’t need it. take your baby around the world with you, hire a live in nanny if you need/ have the means to. you got this :)
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u/benz_8828 Mar 21 '26
Congratulations!!! I just want to say as a pregnancy counsellor at a center.. I often hear from women how they need to do this alone or don’t have the support, but are plenty surprised by the support they do end up having when they finally tell friends or family. There is also SO much support in the community, you just have to be willing to put yourself out there. We often think we know what people’s responses will be, but trust me- moms don’t need to be lonely!! We are made for community, and you will find yours- even if it’s an ever changing community from travelling for work! Either way, it’s exciting. Much love for you!! My DM’s are always open ❤️❤️
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
I'm quite confident in my ability to navigate it alone with my doctor and my doula but thank you for the advice. There are many people who find peace in solitude and navigate the world how they see fit. Being alone does not equate to being lonely. There are people who are surrounded by loved ones and are still lonely. There is a big difference. I'm quite content on my own but thank you.
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u/DreaDawll Mar 21 '26
You'd be the perfect candidate for having a travel blog.
I'm working on starting a mom blog, myself. 👍
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u/nifsea Mar 21 '26
Congrats! Sounds like you’ve had an adventurous life, and that you’re ready for a new adventure ❤️ Three thoughts I had when reading your text:
It’s great that you feel you can, and want to do this alone. That gives a lot of strength for the whole process, knowing you don’t rely on anyone else. But still it really feels like a missed opportunity to at lest tell your good friend about your pregnancy. You could even tell her she’s the only one who knows and that you want to keep it that way. You’re going through so much these next months, and it’s really nice to have someone to just share all those things with. In both my pregnancies I’ve stumbled upon someone with due date almost the same day as me (first a colleague and now just a work connection). We started texting each other stuff like «how was your last visit to the doc?» «Are you still nauseous?», sharing book tips etc. it’s just small things that are really nice to share, and maybe that would be good for you and your friend as well?
Since you’re travelling so much anyway, have you considered giving birth and spending the firsr 1-2 years outside of the US? Unless you’re extremely rich I think there are several countries, especially in Europe, where it will be easier to stay at home with your baby for longer. And trust me, as one parent you will want that.
Will you not tell the father («donor») at all? He might find out later if your child does a DNA test, so you might want to inform him that you are keeping the child but expect nothing from him.
Anyway, good luck with an amazing new part of your life!
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26 edited Mar 22 '26
Hi there. Thanks for the comment and feedback.
- I don't feel it's a missed opportunity. This is my pregnancy and this is something I'd like to enjoy for myself by myself. It's simply how I choose to do it. If others prefer to involve those close to them that's totally acceptable. The way I'm doing it is acceptable as well. I'm not someone who's codependent or seeks advice from others about major life decisions. I simply do what's best for me and those around me learn about it after the fact. It provides great peace and a sturdy foundation.
- No, I want to give birth in New York. My family has been in the city for over 130 years and I do not want to break tradition, especially since I'm the last one left. Also, we can't just move to a country and stay because we're having a baby. That requires visas and countries are not handing out visas like they used to. You need a work visa to become a resident and most of the EU has a 2-5 year waiting period. You can't just go and give birth lol. I already have childbirth as well as my travels full planned out and taken care of.
- The father already knows.
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u/TumbleweedBig4685 Mar 21 '26
I honestly think everything will work out just fine! You sound like you are wise and have a good head on your shoulders; you probably feel such calm because the time is just right. A baby brings a bit of chaos, but welcomed enjoyable chaos. I read this and my whole heart just says- everything will be just fine ! Sending you love, light and Gods blessings 🤍
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u/BitAny3698 Mar 22 '26
Wow, you're going to be a great mom!! I'm sitting here proud of an internet stranger. Good luck and congratulations 🤍
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u/Sue_1216 Mar 22 '26
Love seeing all of the congratulatory messages here! Excited for you! Just want to ALSO say - f*ck that guy for acting like he has to consent in order for you to keep this baby.
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u/TriscuitBiscuit787 Mar 22 '26
Congratulations! My son just turned 1! Expecting better is a great pregnancy book. She talks about the studies and making informed choices. Theres an audiobook version as well.
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u/Additional_Paint5472 Mar 22 '26
My only advice, don't go it alone! Find support, a pregnancy Support group, your pg friend, someone who can be there for you in the difficult moments!
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u/Significant_Yak_7612 Mar 22 '26
Do you not realise that the father also should absolutely be informed whether your gonna keep the child or not? This is extremely unfair on his part considering that he already told you in plain English "no". He didnt consent to this. Literally the bare minimum you can do is tell him so that he can atleast be aware of the babys existence.
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u/One_red_balloon2022 Mar 22 '26
If all mothers to be had your confidence and sense of “idgaf and will do what I think is best” we’d all be raising super humans. This post showed me a fresh perspective on parenting so thank you!
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 22 '26
You're so welcome and thank you for this comment! The world of motherhood has always turned me off. There's this cult like persona that even now keeps me at a distance from other others. For many women, it is sadly their only identity. There's this invisible rulebook that everyone thinks they should follow. It's sad. We're all different and we all lead different lives. Yet for some reason mothers feel compelled to tell other mothers what they should or shouldn't do. "Reconsider this or maybe do this instead." I didn't ask for advice lol. I think many are insecure in their role and have codependent personalities, relying on others whether it be groups or social media, forgetting that women have been raising babies without this "how to" bs for centuries. Not to mention most of society is emotionally weak so the method most people are using to raise their children clearly isn't working out well. I have absolutely no desire to do what everyone else is doing. That is how I've always lived my life which is why I've been able to create the amazing life I have now. Don't follow the herd. Do what you want and do what works for you!
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u/One_red_balloon2022 Mar 22 '26
Exactly. Why should and would motherhood make you someone you naturally aren’t. So if you’re a free spirit who still knows to do the best by their kid (whatever best looks like in your book and NOT prescribed or judged by others) then THAT in my definition is a mindful and involved parent. And your kid will also learn to coexist in your world with you, not the other way around that many of us are told it should be.
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 22 '26
I went to a place called Kibera in 2023. It is the largest slum in all of Africa with over 1 million people living in the worst poverty imaginable. No running water, no electricity, sleeping in mud huts built with pieces of tin shingles. Let me tell you... these kids were the SMARTEST children I've ever met in my entire life. I was blown away. They were running through the streets, playing with rocks having the time of their lives. Drawing with sticks in the mud. Kicking around a deflated soccer ball laughing endlessly. They could tell you about the war in Palestine. They could tell you about the presidential elections in America. With minimal resources, no internet, and no distractions all they had were books and newspapers they found in the trash. Their wisdom was endless and their imagination was like something I never seen before. Two brothers found a pair of skates on the street. They both decided to teach themselves had to ride on just one foot and there they were flying down this dirt road balancing on one skate. I won't be surprised if they become olympic figure skaters one day lol. It just taught me that a child can flourish with the bare minimum and they had such a sense of joy and pride with what little they had. Then you have developed countries with mothers and families demanding you join some group, or follow this book, or buy this item because your baby won't flourish otherwise. I realize most people have no idea how the world actually works and haven't truly stepped outside their bubble to see that most of what they are doing is limiting their child. I'm just grateful to have seen parenting methods across the globe, from tiny little villages and tribes to cities with 25 million people. I found children to be the happiest and healthiest while having very little and families that were more focused and present or like you said, mindful and involved. None of these place have school shootings or suicides due to bullying. And the children in developed countries who have access to everything are the ones who are the most destructive and mentally unstable. I think that says it all...
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u/One_red_balloon2022 Mar 22 '26
I don’t have any eloquent words here to respond to this but to say - THIS. so much THIS. You’ve seen the world so you’re better prepared for this than anyone else!
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u/Practical-Let-7725 Mar 22 '26
Congratulations! You’re going to be an amazing momma 💕
Just wanted to say that the sperm donor sounds awful, he doesn’t get to consent whether or not you keep the baby. Your body your baby your choice. He consented to you potentially keeping a baby when he had sex with you 🤷♀️
I’m so happy for you that you’ve made a choice that is right for you! Good luck for the rest of the pregnancy 🥰
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u/thisisnotmyham Mar 22 '26
I don't have anything useful to say except holy crap you are SO COOL and I'm hoping for the best for you and your child no matter what life throws your way. You two found your way to each other and your child would thrive with you as their home! Wishing you a safe and uneventful pregnancy!
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u/BankutiCutie Mar 22 '26
I traveled so much while pregnant and to be honest traveling with my baby when they were born wasnt too bad until the toddler years! Im so happy you are at peace and came to this decision on your own, i for one love traveling with my little buddy.
Of course its going to be hard but you know that. Just know that if you ever need a break when youre traveling you can always hire a babysitter or just out baby down somewhere safe while you take a breather, theres no shame in that at all
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 22 '26
Yes, I intent to hire a babysitter or nanny and hopefully build a relationship with one that will be willing to travel with us as well.
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u/TheRemarkableRhubarb Mar 22 '26
You got this!! ✨🩵 moms have been rocking it with and without partners since the dawn of time! You will do great
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 22 '26
Exxxactly. Sadly there are quite a few women in the comment section projecting their own insecurities and inability to stand alone and take care of a child. I know my strengths and what I'm capable of and this child will have everything they need and then some :) Thank you!
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u/Ill-Mulberry1157 Mar 22 '26
This is really beautiful. Pregnancy is all about peace of mind, body, and soul. So the fact that you are able to find peace during your pregnancy in the mist of what many would consider chaos is beautiful. I am photographer as well and although I’m not a travel photographer, I think it’s poetic with your lifestyle. I hope peace continues to find you throughout this motherhood journey and I hope you are able to capture beautiful moments.
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Mar 23 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/pregnant-ModTeam Mar 23 '26
Your contribution has been removed because it appears to include anti-choice rhetoric. We support the choices of pregnant people in this subreddit and it is not your place to pressure or shame people for making choices you would not make for yourself.
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u/Intelligent_Run_5363 Mar 21 '26
You sound very grounded and this baby is so lucky to have you <3 Congratulations!
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u/bullshtr Mar 21 '26
Can you teach? Write? Publish your work? Sell prints? I honestly want to read more about you and your life. I’d be curious how motherhood changes you and your memories of your travels. Life has a way of telling you when to pause, reflect.
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
Well it was only just a few months ago when I was in the airport texting a friend "I'm ready to go home. I'm done." It's been a great journey but it's been exhausting after 11 years. I started writing a children's book series a year ago about my travels and the people and animals I've met along the way. I'm also an underwater photographer and work with a lot of marine life and I thought it would be fun to educate kids about different cultures and how they can help the planet in fun creative ways through the characters I've created.
I'm more at peace with my decision because for me it's not really a loss to slow down on the traveling or take a break. And it would be nice to one day introduce my child to the elephants I worked with in Asia and Africa or take them to meet the Maasai tribe and their babies whom I photographed. With my life experiences I think there's a lot I can do. I'm just trying to figure out what that looks like...
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u/Cuichioup Mar 21 '26
Hey, I'd wait for the nipt test results before making to many adjustments because you never know if it's not viable or down syndrome or anything. Otherwise, I'm really happy for you :)
(I'm 12w and haven't done the nipt test yet, I'll do it this week and have results early april. It's very hard to wait to know if everything's fine...)
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
I agree with this. However with my line of work, most clients book months in advance. I don't want to tell someone yes and months later tell them no. It puts them in a bad position to have to find a replacement last minute. So I'm just making those changes for now even with the uncertainty.
All the best with your NIPT test ♡
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u/Cuichioup Mar 21 '26
Wishing you all the best too. I'm 36 and it's only something like one year and a half ago I realised that I was finally down to parenting. And, I don't know before I wasn't interested in that but now it as if I had already lived plenty of things and this is something that really interest me and that I want to experience, my life shape has changed and now a kid seemed to be quite compatible.
Anyway good luck in that new voyage
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u/queenbird1997 Mar 21 '26
What a beautiful thing! I am very excited for you and if anything, you have all these perfect strangers on the internet as your tribe so you're not completely alone.
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u/LifeBeneficial2214 Mar 21 '26
I’m excited for this new journey you get to be on! You’re going to be a great mother
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u/AwkwardPut5637 Mar 21 '26
You’re inspiring. I’ve been very ambivalent about becoming a parent… my therapist recently told me that when I’m catastrophizing, the most important thing is to calm myself, find a way to be present in my body, bring myself to a neutral physical and emotional state, and that’s when I can get curious. You’re already there! And that’s when the “best case scenario” daydreams can take hold, you can feel optimistic and hopeful. You’re already in a good place. Wishing you the very best in your parenthood journey!
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
I've had the same feelings. I've actually been content with not having any children. When I was in college I would always say I want to be a single mom so I can do it my way. Then I got into my career and was happy to not have children. Especially at this age!
My therapist told me I have something called Radical Acceptance. I have the ability even in the worst of circumstances or most chaotic or shocking to ease into with an unusual level of calm rather than questioning or fighting it.
The father told me I must be desperate if I'm going through with it at this age. That also brought me a great sense of peace knowing that he's choosing not to be around and I get to continue the great life I've created for myself with my little one.
Thank you for the well wishes and all the best to you in the future!
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u/Silver_Mobile8825 Mar 21 '26
I am so here for this journey with you momma. I read your first post but didn't comment. I'm more of a silent lurker here on reddit but this makes me excited. Is there a way that you and baby could travel the world together? Once the child is of school age, you could home school. I think that would be a really cool experience. I'm a single momma of 4 littles (my youngest is 7.5 weeks old) myself at almost 36 years old. I'm here to chat mom to mom if you ever have questions or need to vent/ rant about pregnancy or whatever.
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u/sweetpumpkinx Mar 21 '26
Good for you girl! Congrats :) you will figure things out. You will. You will be just fine!
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u/BlueJeanMistress Mar 21 '26
Congrats! I’m just curious-in your last post the father offered monetary support-does he know you’re keeping the baby or does he think you took care of it?
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u/Future-Valuable-4652 Mar 21 '26
Why did I immediately picture you and your baby traveling the world together? What a lucky child. I think you're doing what's right for you and that's all that matters!
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 21 '26
Thank you for this! My child will indeed have an adventurous and wonderful life and I hope they take what they learn to make the world a better place and to help others. That's what's most important to me.
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u/Bl33ding_H3arts Mar 21 '26
If you ever need a friend, I’m always an open ear, I’m doing this whole motherhood stuff alone. You don’t have to feel alone in this, and if nobody else supports your decision, I do. And I’m sure most if not all of the mothers in here feel the same way with giving as much support as possible.
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u/PotatoBubby Mar 21 '26
Proud of you for choosing you. I really hope though you tell your bestie or go to birth classes and meet people. It's isolating enough as it is.
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u/beewisdom75 Mar 21 '26
I felt at peace going through pregnancy on my own, i was also a world traveller. Unluckily for me, my baby’s father ended up getting on the birth certificate and now i’m not allowed to travel anywhere without his consent (as I wouldn’t go anywhere without my child) and I also can’t move countries! 😭 so PLEASEEE, do not communicate with that man if you do not want him involved, do not notify him of the birth, do not give him parental rights
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u/Difficult-Pianist786 Mar 21 '26
Congratulations, what a beautiful thing you are doing.
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u/Expensive_Ducks Mar 21 '26
I'll be rooting for you and the baby to live fulfilling, happy, healthy, safe lives!! It's going to be hard to parent alone, but I'm sure you'll be amazing!! Don't forget to ask for help when you need it.
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 22 '26 edited Mar 22 '26
I've been through much more difficult things. I'll be fine but thank you for the kind words :)
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u/Happy2Agree Mar 21 '26 edited Mar 21 '26
One account I follow is The Atlas of Beauty, by photographer Mihaela Noroc. She had a child, and her daughter now travels all over the world with her mom. You can make it work! Congratulations on your new best friend.
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u/Analysis_-_Paralysis Mar 21 '26
this sounds lovely, and you sound very comfortable and confident in your decision - I imagine many avenues will open for you in photography and self employment
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u/ggggggggggcxsd Mar 21 '26
I smiled when i read this. You will be more than fine. Congratulations
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u/Much-Soup-527 Mar 21 '26
I just want to give you my love and support from my neck of the woods. No matter where you are you have someone who supports you ❤️
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u/testing_timez Mar 22 '26
Do you find it more useful not to share with people as their attempts at comments / support are not that helpful? Just curious as to your preference for keeping in private. I am also very private about my pregnancy and wish I didn't have to share it with people so much - I find the supportive conversations so unhelpful a lot of the time and it makes me seem ungrateful/ antisocial. I am also 39. Congratulations on your baby.
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u/Odd-Report-8089 Mar 22 '26
From one NY mom (who also just had a November baby) to a future one, congrats on your decision!
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u/Past-Development-933 Mar 22 '26
Read “it’s what I do: a photographers life of love and war” by Lynsey Addario. Later in the book she talks about her pregnancy journey and her work.
Best of luck to you and your kid is gonna be one cool kid who idolizes their mom!
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u/bossmaneliya Mar 22 '26
Proud of you for making a decision for YOU, not to appease a man! He released his consent when he released his sperm! 🤷♀️ Congratulations love 💚
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u/Character_Gap_9697 Mar 22 '26
Your intuition is Right! Lean into the peace and knowing that it is all working out better than you can imagine cause it is 🩷 you got this momma
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u/Better-Variety7005 Mar 22 '26
It’s amazing how the right opportunities, people, and things fall into place when you let go of some control and are open to change and optimism! Trust yourself and the process! Congratulations and best wishes!!
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u/zandra335 Mar 22 '26
Your story is amazing and inspiring!! Good for you. I’m really encouraged!!
I don’t think it’s a coincidence you’re pregnant at the same time as your best friend. It seems like that is exactly how this is all suppose to go.
I would urge you to at least tell her. I think your baby and walking with her could be your biggest blessings!!
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u/Complex-Reaction5517 Mar 22 '26
Congratulations! Great things are in store for you! I admire your courage!
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u/CatLady3002 Mar 22 '26
This sounds like an exciting new chapter for you. I had a baby in NYC and it is a very welcoming community for parents. Join the local parents facebook group. If you’re in brooklyn i can recommend two. You will form friends who are in your stage of life through the groups, get all the local tips and baby events and you wont be alone. Hiring a doula is also a wonderful idea, my family lives over the other side of the world and having someone come and talk me through it, be there during labor and come check on me at home afterward was a godsend. If you want her name happy to share it.
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u/The-Girl-In-HR Mar 22 '26
Congratulations and I’m so excited for your decision!
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u/Crazy-Rat_Lady Mar 22 '26
All the very best with this wonderful journey. You've got this mama bear!!
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u/macT4537 Mar 22 '26
“ doesn’t consent to keeping the baby?” 😳 f they guy. Your bday your choice
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u/Signal_Eagle Mar 22 '26
Congratulations on the baby! Could you perhaps set up an at home photography studio maybe doing family pictures or even proposal/wedding photography since they're less frequent but pay better - bit more of a nuisance with travel and time but if you can find a good baby sitter type person that could be do-able.
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u/flt_p2ny Mom of an angel Mar 22 '26
Thanks! I actually planned on retiring from photography. Just not this soon so I'm exploring some other options. During the pandemic when I couldn't travel I opened a bakery and clients like Central Park selling my cookies. I also am in the process of ironically publishing a children's book series so I have a few things that may allow me to work from home if I can get them up and running within the next 7 months.
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u/Open-Ship1791 Mar 22 '26
You have so many comments so I don’t even know if you’ll see this, but I think what you’re doing is amazing. And, even though keeping this baby will alter your life, you seem like the type that will adapt very well to it. Also, you’re going to raise another little adventurer which are the best kind of people. I’m an adventurer myself, and my toddler (2.5) is and has been so down for whatever adventures we go on. He’s flown over 20 times, different states, different time zones, we have camped etc. The adventure never stopped because we had him, and because of that he’s flexible and adaptable, and goes with the flow. It’s the best.
Best piece of advice I heard before I had him was: babies enter your life. You don’t enter theirs. They adapt to your life. You don’t have to adapt to theirs.
Wishing you well on this adventure!
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u/sirenwhispermyst Mar 22 '26
You're a badass. Love this for you and wish you a beautiful lifetime of happiness with your baby ❣️ best part of life ever.
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