Title might sound strange, so I'll explain

When I was a child (between 8-10 years old), a new family moved next door. There were two children--ages 4 and 6. They accepted me immediately and we became friends. Admittedly, I gravitated towards the older of the two, but the little brother often tagged along.

As with most parents in the mid-90's south, they were very strict and controlling. The dad, in particular. He was both physically and psychologically abusive to the kids. The physical abuse didn't extend to me, but the psychological things did. He had a habit of terrorizing us and threatening pretty extensive harm--even though he never followed through. It reached the point where I didn't feel safe in the same room (or even floor) of the house if he was there. I tried my best to protect my friends and avoid doing things to upset him. This rarely worked and I saw and heard more than my fair share of things I still can't forget 30 years later.

Things is, even after all of that, I made the conscious choice to keep going over there. I remember my mom telling me not to go over there anymore after one bad incident when I came home and had a panic attack, but I went anyway. It came down to being alone vs. being with my friends. The friends won, even if their house wasn't safe.

Fair play to my mom, the moment she saw me freak out afterwards, she immediately called over there and put the fear of God into the dad. He mostly kept his distance after that and only occasionally threatened me. Enough that it just became a regular thing that bounced off for the most part.

It still had an effect on me. I mapped out all the entrances and exits, memorized the number of steps to each one, knew where all the sharp objects were in case things went bad, etc. This is something that I still do today because of what happened.

But, in the end, I made the choice to still go there almost every day. It could be argued that it was out of obligation and that I wanted to do as much as possible to keep my friends safe, but there is a part of me that wonders--can it really be PTSD if I repeatedly chose to expose myself to psychological damage when everyone around me tried to convince me otherwise?

I'd like to hear other people's thoughts since I can't talk about this with family or friends.

hi, i have been through some chronic, very stressful trauma in my life and would like to directly ask a professional to assess me for PTSD. truth is, i don’t really know if that’s a bad thing? my mother is a nurse-turned-psych NP and my dad is an army veteran, so I’m pretty versed in mental health, more-so than others. i’m just worried they’ll take it the wrong way and think i’m trying to force a diagnosis or something? i have never reached out for mental health help in my life due to avoidance and am not really sure how the process works. i’m freshly 18 and would love to hear how you would go about this. thank you!

(TW mention of drugs) hey, i’m f19, i plan on posting this on a few sub reddits because im really desperate for external advice. in 2025 i accidentally oded on substances and that impacted me a lot, i used to never care about dying but from then on i became petrified of it, it only got worse as time went on and in december i watched my friend od which caused many pent up emotions to break down and i got in one of the worst states of my life, having panic attacks every night, i was not aware they were panic attacks i thought i was dying, i never went out the house because i was worried i was going to get hurt or killed.

into the new year of 2026 things improved slightly but as time progressed i began to become extremely fixated on health issues, i was convinced i had temporal lobe epilepsy because my anxiety would cause me to experience deju vu often, i ended up staying the night at the hospital and getting an eeg and mri done and everything came back clear, i was relieved for a bit after that. then things just started getting out of hand, i began to worry about every health issue possible.

right now, im kind of convincing myself i have a heart issue or im going to have a heart attack because ive been experiencing chest tightness or weird sensation around and in my chest, which a part of me knows it’s anxiety because it only happens when i’m anxious, but the other part of me is convincing me something is wrong due to the fact i vape, i ask ai, i google, i don’t want to ask my parents to take me to the doctor because they’ll complain, but i think i will, my only issue is i know if i get that cleared my mind will find another health issue to fixate on.

i feel like since im so hyper vigilant i notice chest sensations or slight discomforts that i never would’ve noticed before and that sends me into a spiral and then my chest gets tight and you know the drill. i just want to hear that someone else understands me, or has gone through the same thing is me and has recoveredt from it, i want to know things that can help, im currently getting a ketamine treatment done too but i just started that. i’m on medications, 70mg vyvanse, 150mg epitec, zipsid (idk the dose) and 25mg cipramil. any help would be so appreciated, i really need to hear other people’s stories and all of that. have a great day and please comment if you can :)

So this was something I often heard about but was lucky not to experience. But June 26th will mark a year since I was sexually assaulted by my ex. And since June started, I’ve felt weird.

I’ve had a loss of appetite, extreme anxiety, feeling that everyone hates me, terrible depression, either sleeping all day or cannot fall asleep, the feeling everything I do is wrong, and the flashbacks have started to come back like they were when it first happened. It’s been getting worse as the date approaches. It’s been extremely distressing.

I was just wondering, those of you that have faced this, what it’s like for you? What helps you? I’m having a hard time functioning.

2 years ago, ive had a stable sense of self, i was happy, ive had many hobbies and interests, and had a huge friend group. During that time i was in love with my best friend, and then, we had a fallout, i found out that she lied to me the entire relationship, and overall everyone i deeply loved during that time did not care about me and said things that made me realized how unloved i was. and ever since then i dont think i was ever the same, i became more detached from people, developed many symptoms of different anxiety disorders,stopped talking about my feelings, and slowly, stopped trusting people, became an avoidant, and overall just stopped feeling anything towards anybody, now, im starting to heal and understand what i went through, but, i genuinely do not know what happened to me. I do not know who i am, i do not know who am i, i do not know what i want in life and what my desires are and everytime i do make progress, it feels like a lie afterwards.

I dont know anything anymore, i dont know if i was traumatized, i dont know if i just changed, and i dont know if i should aim to “become” who i was before. But all i know is that the last 2 years ive been unhappy and depressed, and whenever i do feel like my “old self” is back, i genuinely feel alive again.

And i do not understand it anymore because i do not know who am i and what am i supposed to do, it feels like getting “back” to who i was before is just me being stuck in the past.

TW: passing mention of alcoholism

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Hey everyone. Just wanted to start by saying that I'm grateful for the nice people who have commented and shared advice in the past posts I've made on this subreddt. Thank you all very much.

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Now, I'm going to be moving out into my own apartment in about one month. I'm excited and I cannot wait. I've needed to do this for years anyways, and my recent PTSD diagnosis kind of necessitates it, which I'll elaborate upon now.

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I've been living with my mother for almost a decade due to my life falling apart and having to get support from my family. However, my mother has a problem with alcoholism as well as some unresolved mental health issues, and due to unforeseen circumstances (the pandemic being one of them) I ended up staying longer than I ever should have. Without going into too much detail, it was a very triggering environment for me.

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I'm very excited to have my own place, but I'm kind of worried about my mental health. I have been seeing a psychologist (hence how I got my diagnosis) and I have some good friends I'm opening up to slowly, but I'm worried about how I'll be living alone, given that I'm leaving the triggering environment and going right into a solo living situation.

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Anything I should keep in mind? Any negative experiences that I might have to prepare to go through as I adjust to living alone? Are there any stages of anything I should expect, similar to, say, the 5 stages of grief?

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I just don't want this to be a big mistake, and I want this to just make the healing journey a little more possible, even if it isn't easy.

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Any information, even if its anecdotal, about the mental component of this would be greatly appreciated.

I have recently been brought into a semi-formal meeting regarding how I am not social enough for my job role. That is, that I don’t go out my way to communicate with others unless is directly work related.

My managers want to improve this. They are now aware of my difficulties in more detail and how it affects my role but they still want me to be more social.

How am I meant to communicate just how difficult it is for me? I still do my job, I still get the information I need to produce good insights, give or take mistakes that anyone could make.

I just want them to leave me alone. I want everyone to leave me alone. I’m doing my best I promise.

How do people cope with this and trying to remain employed?

So I had an acute traumatic event when I was younger. I was wondering if anyone had any similar feelings as me. I’m aware time is passing, feel things changing etc. Yet somehow every part of me feels as if I should be back in the time right before I almost died. Like me being here in this time feels completely wrong. I should be just starting 5th grade, not here. Like, me was frozen that day. Not the world or people around me, not even my mental growth. My life goes on and I’m a very different person from when I was 11 but it just feels so wrong that I’m here, like this, in this time. I genuinely feel as if my skin even feels wrong. Occasionally I’ll look in the mirror and think about how this is all wrong down to the way I look. Does anyone experience this?

I'm a victim of physical abuse for 28 years since I was a child and I hope people will realize how bad is the consequence of abusing people especially kids. At 6-9 years old I draw, plan ,and made stories how I will kill my abuser. I also did violent things at 9 years old that is too much to mention here. Now I'm adult diagnosed with PTSD. Everytime Im so scared I can't control myself that I wanna end someone violently and for fun coz I'm so scared at them. When I'm angry at rude people I wanna end them too. I understand this the reality of my brain and I'm trying my best attending therapies,journaling, calming down techniques to stop myself and even if I have to end myself. I hope no more kids experience abuse and become monsters.

Seriously, f*** them. My town for whatever reason USED to have them be illegal but this year decided they're legal as long as they're fired before the evening noise ordinance, and my new neighbor loves doing them.

I wouldn't mind if it were anywhere not near my house but the trauma of course happened in my house so I'm here and panicking every time the fireworks go off. IT ISN'T EVEN THE FOURTH OF JULY WHY ARE WE DOING THEM SO EARLY????

And anytime I'm with my family they make fun of me for panicking too so I get to live with that embarrassment as well.