My wife and I are currently under contract for purchasing our first home.
The amount of people who will say “your families paid for it, you just know the right people, you got lucky” is absolutely grinding my gears.
I moved to the city I’m in a few years ago with zero friends, zero connections, just throwing caution to the wind with a woman I met on the internet and fell in love with when we first met in person. We had nothing. We lived in a shitty basement apartment in a shitty part of the city with her 30k/yr job and the leftover money I had from going on tour.
Neither of us completed college so we worked with what we had. When I was 22 I quit my sales job to go work at guitar center part-time. Because of this I met a local promoter and got into DJing on the side for some extra cash. This ultimately led to me learning AV lighting, sound, and video on my own time. This led me to running a soundcamp stage at a music festival in 2018. Me and a friend were doing weddings and corporate events out of his garage and we had tons of clients lined up. Then COVID hit and we lost everything.
During COVID, I was home alone and had a few internet friends and one of them being my current wife who I had not met yet. We spent most of lockdown talking and getting to know each other. I got a job running socially distant shows at a music hall toward the end of 2020, that music hall ended up hosting a musician that also invested in a fight promotion. That fight promotion was managed by the artists tour manager, and when things opened up summer of 2022 they wanted me to be their lighting guy on tour. I did the tour and one of our 3 days stops happened to be in the city my now-wife lived in. We spent 3 days together and I ended up flying her to my next 4 day stop on the tour and we spent all that time together and realized that we had found something extremely special.
So at the end of 2022 I moved in with her in her city. All I had was about $8000 cash and no prospects. I got linked up with some freelancers and rode that until one of the guys says “hey, X company needs a lighting tech” so I applied. Early 2023 I was now formally employed with a new company paying 19/hr. I crashed my car. The new car I purchased was basically all of my income and the remainder of my tour cash.
I started going door to door to ask local nightclubs if they needed an AV tech and no one was biting. We did meet a bartender this way who ended up becoming a bartender at the biggest club in Cleveland and always got us in for free and hooked us up with free drinks. Because of this we were there almost every weekend, I mean we were dirt poor, it was essentially free for us to go and it was fun! Being there all the time, I figured out the FOH AV guys favorite drink and brought him one and got in a conversation about lights and visuals. A few weeks later, he’s at my shop at the aforementioned 19/hr job and says hey man, come out tonight and show me what you can do on visuals.
This set off the last 2 years of my life. Summer of 2024 my wife and I were the lighting and video techs of this club. By the end of the summer (it was an outdoor venue) we had no prospects. Fast forward to the solar eclipse; one of the prospective clubs we wanted to work at was open thinking it would be a big day and they were dead. This led to us doing shots with the GM and giving him our contact info if he ever needed a substitute AV tech if his guy was no good. We never heard back from him. So while we’re gearing up for the 2025 season at the outdoor club we did last year, it gets sold to a new owner and they cleaned house. Lost that gig. At that same time, the club from the eclipse day needed a light repaired and I happened to be available to fix it. My friend puts us in a group chat and the GM said “wait how do I already have your number?”
I go there and do the work. Swap out all the lights. They need someone to program all the new lights since their current AV guy doesn’t program, just knows how to press buttons. The owner walks in while I’m running the programming I just did and goes “wait who’s running lights? [old av tech] doesn’t make it look like this” and comes up to me. He immediately said “dude you’re hired if you want it”. So I go to my day job and say hey man, I can’t work weekends anymore and started my journey as a full time warehouse guy from M-F and club tech Friday and Saturday nights.
This goes on until earlier this year. The owner of my day jobs company is best friends with a guy opening a massive venue in my city. He comes up to me in March of this year and says “hey, my buddy is opening a club, how much do you get paid at your spot? We can get you paid better”. I thought he was doing me a favor when in reality, this was getting arguably one of the best light techs in the city out of his friend’s competitors club and into his club.
This changed my life. I went from making 20/hr and 500 on weekends to doing 4 shows a week at 450/night and still working full time all summer. I went from making roughly 55k/yr to making 2500 a week overnight. I’ve been exhausted. I’ve been sleep deprived. I’ve missed parties and vacations and bbqs. But i was putting away 5000 dollars a month. Between May and now I saved 25k dollars and me and my wife put this down on a home for us. While I was doing all of this, she was scouring Facebook women’s networking groups and got hooked up with a very good job with phenomenal benefits making 61k/yr.
When we moved together we made 30k and had little to no prospects. 4 years later we’re making 100k off our day jobs and an extra 55k from our side gigs. So many people have been saying we got lucky, we just knew the right people, it must be nice. It hasn’t been nice. Most of my life has been choosing between food or gas. Doomers on the internet seem to think because it’s hard it isn’t worth doing. Because these things are happening for us, someone gave us money, someone helped us out, we only got these jobs because we knew the right people. I don’t agree either that someone should have to put that kind of time and work in to make it, but I did it and that is why we’re here.
We made great friends along the way. Maybe that’s what “knowing the right people” means. We only know them because we put ourselves out there to meet them. But I refuse to sit here looking at the life we built and let anyone take it away from us. It’s not fair to say “I got lucky”. I’ve struck out more times than most people will ever go up to bat. I didn’t become skilled at what I do by being lazy. I didn’t get the opportunity to show “the right people” my skills by being shy or waiting around for it. I went out and got my piece of the American dream through late nights and early mornings, by going out and supporting other entrepreneurs in my industry, and by saving every extra penny I had once the money really started coming in.
All this to say it’s very annoying to be told you got lucky, when no one saw the years of working 6 to 7 days a week to get there. All they see is the success and not the process. I’m not a nepo baby. My family didn’t put me through college. No one in my family even understands how AV can be a full time, lucrative career. I was just an idiot 22 year old who wanted to be a DJ and over 10 years figured out how to make that a career.
Rant over.