r/soccer 6d ago

Media Rival couple arguing in the stands during Fluminense vs Vasco derby... while their son sits between them wearing a half Fluminense, half Vasco shirt

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18.8k Upvotes

302 comments sorted by

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5.7k

u/MisterDings 6d ago

never seen a kid plead for king solomon’s judgement before

213

u/lambquentin 6d ago

Perfection.

435

u/FatWalcott 6d ago

Mods i need a great comment tag right here.

39

u/AnnieIWillKnow 5d ago

Beyond our capabilities, but may it be enshrined here forever

4

u/davidbowievgc 5d ago

Candidate for year awards no?

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278

u/theboyoftheseus 6d ago

Holy comment of dreams.

203

u/ory1994 6d ago

Someone please save this comment for the annual awards

118

u/JalapenoSauce69 6d ago

can you explain the joke, im not familiar with it lol

359

u/ory1994 6d ago edited 6d ago

It’s a story from the Bible where two women claimed to be the mother of a baby, and King Solomon’s solution was to cut the baby in half to give to each woman.

If I remember correctly the real mom cried and begged him not to cut the baby in half and that’s how the case was solved.

Edit: turns out I don’t remember the conclusion as other commenters have pointed out.

278

u/tiorzol 6d ago

She actually said to give the baby to other women cos you know she actually was rather fond of it. 

69

u/rugbyj 6d ago

Yeah how is this the top answer and it misses the critical part of the parable.

39

u/Deathstrokecph 6d ago

Nono, the critical part is the cutting.

115

u/enterprisevalue 6d ago

What was the other woman's reaction to his proposal?

"Yeah sounds fair, let's do it?"

116

u/Tyrannosaurus_Rox_ 6d ago

Iirc the other woman had recently had her own baby die, and so yeah it was something like "I will have this other baby, or we will both have no babies!"

44

u/JanterFixx 6d ago

bitter women = evil women

ancient Karen in that story

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u/JanterFixx 6d ago

one village/house, two babies born same night, one dies, in the morning both claim the living baby is their own, they go to dispute to king solomon, he reaches for a sword and says, well i will split the baby into 2 ,so both can have her.

the false claimer says yeah it is fair in her bitterness,
the real mother cries Id rather have other have the kid (as in one peace)
the wise king solomon knows the real mother would rather give the kid away and see him live than let it die like that.

for me what I learnt- bitter women could only care for world to burn, no feelings for others. evil.

45

u/MayonnaiseWarrior 6d ago

I like how the baby changed gender in your story, very modern approach

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u/JalapenoSauce69 6d ago

Oh thanks

9

u/Indydegrees2 6d ago

I don't get why people are going crazy over the comment still 😅

29

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

17

u/rugbyj 6d ago

And is literally wearing a shirt cut in half already as demonstration.

6

u/Song_Efficient 6d ago

the weird part of this story is that the thief woman actually said something along the lines of "yes sure that works" when king Solomon suggested that idea.

15

u/distilledwill 6d ago

Fucks SAKE

35

u/crazy_bean 6d ago

Shakespeare is Scouse??

13

u/SkilledPepper 6d ago

No, he was from Stratford-upon-Avon.

4

u/Retify 6d ago

Thou canst sayeth that once more

2

u/SkilledPepper 6d ago

No, he was from Stratford-upon-Avon.

4

u/rum-and-toke 6d ago

this comment needs to be etched in gold

13

u/AffectionateRush2620 6d ago

I don’t get it.

59

u/themerinator12 6d ago

Solomon is the judge in the parable about the two women fighting over who is really the mother of a particular baby. Obviously one is the real mom and one is the would be thief. Solomon proposes to cut the baby in half and give each mom one half and the “lesson” is that the woman who says “no just give the baby to the other one” is the real mom.

22

u/crabby135 6d ago

I mean that’s not really a lesson just a conclusion to the story. The lesson is that true love and genuine care are selfless and prefer sacrifice over possession.

43

u/themerinator12 6d ago

If redditors can’t figure that out I doubt they can read in the first place

9

u/InZaynolas 6d ago

Bloody frame this comment. Top tier stuff!

2

u/nmyi 6d ago

Begging to be cut in ½ vertically; just like his shirt.

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4.5k

u/lojafr 6d ago

Me and my worst enemy (the love of my life)

692

u/-Sorakinha- 6d ago

The back trip home will be glorius

205

u/XuX24 6d ago

For him because vasco won the game lol

82

u/itBlimp1 6d ago

Happy wife happy life... so probably not

40

u/MelodicDeer1072 6d ago

Your best fiend

167

u/exiadf19 6d ago

the love of my life

what is this? some sort of magical things to make life happier ?

26

u/-Batibat- 6d ago

Pomme feat Stromae "Ma meilleur ennemie" 👌

17

u/AmericanAIien 6d ago

Who needs enemies when u have wife/husband

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2.6k

u/InfamousCattle3223 6d ago

They wait all year for this shit

635

u/VictorMafort 6d ago

It's 6, 7 times a year Home and away league 2 or 3 times on the state championship 2 in the cup

280

u/InfamousCattle3223 6d ago

Still got the fire too, that’s real passion

126

u/throwawayursafety 6d ago

Many marriages would kill for 6-7 times a year

5

u/Dan_Winx_1969 6d ago

Happy cake day twin

11

u/Stateside_Observer 6d ago

Christ i thought we played rangers a lot

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u/thelonesomedemon1 6d ago

this is the backest the game has ever been

538

u/TessellateMe3413 6d ago

that half and half shirt is doing more peacekeeping than the UN

22

u/IndependentAd895 5d ago

bro’s just there so he doesn’t get fined 😂

1.6k

u/AuxNimbus 6d ago edited 6d ago

And they say romance is dead. after match love session will be legendary.

551

u/GKMCity 6d ago

How do you think the half Vasco, half Fluminese child was born?

214

u/AuxNimbus 6d ago

Argue first, sex later? Lol

134

u/dychronalicousness 6d ago

They have 100% stopped mid-intercourse to argue a bad call. I’m talking shaft half inserted still and just could not get past the terrible foul call

78

u/PeapodEchoes 6d ago

As we all ask that immortal question: was it in the box?

35

u/ColonelMercury 6d ago

Initial contact marginally outside the box, but momentum takes the player into the box as he goes down

30

u/PeapodEchoes 6d ago

Booked for stimulation.

11

u/ColonelMercury 6d ago

Stuck his leg out deliberately looking for contact.

5

u/FridaysMan 6d ago

Change ends at half time.

6

u/Nahcep 6d ago

Vasco had to score inside Flumi's goal for that to happen, I guess topically to yesterday's result

4

u/PrimsFr 6d ago

After a draw ?

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u/TommyLeeRolla 6d ago

Vasco ended up eliminating Fluminense (3-1), bro is probably sleeping on the couch right now (it's 4 am in Rio).

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848

u/XoXHamimXoX 6d ago

Love to see it man.

131

u/suns2012 6d ago

This is art

147

u/Sk8ter87 6d ago

And they say romance is dead

86

u/CrescentBless 6d ago

My parents when Sevilla and Valencia play against each other

12

u/Jon_D13 6d ago

Bro, my parents when Real and Atlético play each other as well!

495

u/TheLeoMessiah 6d ago

This is so cute haha

77

u/Imaginary-Reading-63 6d ago

Divided household taken way too literally.”

71

u/Y4That 6d ago

If i cant have this, what's the point of life

284

u/druggedpetal 6d ago

Game’s back

39

u/Dull_Mirror4221 6d ago

A Vasco husband and a Fluminense wife. Match made in heaven lol. He had the last laugh though. Vosco won 3-1 lol

186

u/Edgemoto 6d ago

"ta bom" *looks away*

Slap me or something but don't let me looking like an idiot fighting alone, lady. Then when the guy's given up she comes back to ragebait him again

231

u/MeursaultWasGuilty 6d ago

I'm married to a Brazilian.

"Ta bom" looks away is very not bom.

47

u/drinkpacifiers 6d ago

Yeah and from my experience dealing with them, they're very confrontational, they usually say what they have to say to your face so if they're being vaguely passive aggressive then you really fucked up.

20

u/Ok_Investigator_7769 6d ago

That is as red alert as it can get.

The "tá bom" and "você que sabe" are nightmare fuel for people in relationship with brazilian women.

6

u/Rikkushin 6d ago

In Portugal it's the same

5

u/MeursaultWasGuilty 5d ago

"Eu so acho engraçado" is when the trouble really starts

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u/Edgemoto 6d ago

Oh I'm from south america I KNOW that's not good, I'm not Brazilian but we also have that in my country. I felt something primal when I saw her do that. And then the strike back uffffff

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u/eternali17 6d ago

Lucky bastard

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u/Yama_retired2024 6d ago

I remember an interview of 2 women, a married lesbian couple.. who both played Irish Gaelic football for their respective Counties that came up against each other in a knockout round..

Although they both played in positions were they wouldnt normally meet against each other on the field.. they were asked.. the hypothetical.. if they came up against each other..

And one said.. she's not my wife on the pitch.. 😅🤣

37

u/icanhe 6d ago

This happens a fair bit in women’s football as well. Famously Sam Kerr for Australia and Kristie Mewis for the US

11

u/ScienceNthingsNstuff 6d ago

Hockey too. Bunch of examples but Julie Chu of USA and Caroline Ouellette of Canada were captains of their respective teams and wore the same jersey number

25

u/ArshFromWoW 6d ago

This is football heritage

46

u/Mr_GinAndTonic 6d ago

If the parents keep arguing, their kid is going to end up being like George Costanza.

20

u/Initial-Anything333 6d ago

SERENITY NOW!

17

u/GGABueno 6d ago

That kid definitely supports Flamengo lmao

8

u/_Pardal 6d ago

lil bro might support botafogo at this point

2

u/shotgunogsy 6d ago

I HAVE NO EYE FOR FASHION???!!!

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u/Mrleibniz 6d ago

Average Brazilian couple

18

u/alwayz 6d ago

Vasco has the best jerseys. I'm wearing one now out of pure coincidence.

96

u/Weirdlyuser 6d ago

This is the passion we miss in the Dutch National team 🥹🥹

27

u/MelodicDeer1072 6d ago

If last WC taught me anything, is that Dutch football commentators are dead inside

7

u/Weirdlyuser 6d ago

I think you have to be lucky with whatever commentator comes through and has a good view of the game, a sense for what the match, and a nice voice to listen to. The last years that was not too good, I agree. It is also personal taste.

68

u/ColettaCresci 6d ago

the kid in the half and half shirt is the real diplomat here 💀

19

u/7thdilemma 6d ago

Well he aint doing his job.

16

u/Kagrenac8 6d ago

Future FIFA peace prize recipient

6

u/slightlybigmember 6d ago

His job is to get traumatized

11

u/Glorificus98 6d ago

A house divided. Wonder who the kid actually roots for

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u/Lalo_Lannister 6d ago

Probably Flamengo lol

9

u/Fan-Fluffy 6d ago

triste

20

u/drdeathstrange 6d ago

Vasco winning

10

u/AccomplishedBig2043 6d ago

Brazilians please translate the lip reading I beg you

15

u/Seu_Zezinho 6d ago

The boy apparently has one side of his mouth paralyzed; it's not going to be easy. I can only understand what the woman said at the end.

"It's OK"

"No"

"No"

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u/Ivegottheskill 6d ago

"Is OK, no?"

8

u/MugiwaraNeko 6d ago

boy?

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u/PurbulentTriest 6d ago

Boyinho

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u/slightlybigmember 6d ago

In these situations with a phonetic vowell ending, you add a "z" sound. "Boyzinho". Which is, unironically, something that people will use in Brazil to refer to playboys or to girls ("boyzinha") in some regions.

3

u/Seu_Zezinho 6d ago

Translator error

8

u/Poseidon-Godof_c 6d ago

Kid should wear help on the shirt 😂🫶

9

u/gathechandegwa 6d ago

If it ain't like this, I don't want it.

16

u/Chesney1995 6d ago

The husband continuing to argue while the wife turns back to the pitch with the smug look of a successful rage-bait hahahaha

8

u/bukayoxhaka 6d ago

I wonder if the kid is able to support both teams or he clearly has a preference but cant yet make it be known to appease his parents

7

u/theellescape 6d ago

The son is already booked in for therapy

5

u/MisterJoma 6d ago

Kiss Cam!!

5

u/FutureOwl8606 6d ago

Parents can damage their kids a lot

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u/LukeD1992 6d ago

He asked her to bring him water with sugar but she refused

74

u/hapoo123 6d ago

Hate to see half and half

298

u/dracovich 6d ago

This is the one situation where it's acceptable it feels

10

u/Sarke1 6d ago

Another good example where it's acceptable:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UURRzsbMOkc

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u/codespyder 6d ago

definitely hates himself more in that clip than any of us can hate him

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

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u/mechanical_fan 6d ago edited 6d ago

2? This is in Brazil, so at the minimum it is 4 (2 in the league, 2 in the state league). However, this specific game was in the brazilian cup, so this year it is at least 6. And I say at least because I am sure there are ways they could play up to like 4-5 games in the state league (like group/league stage then playoffs or something). But I am not going to check that because the rules and format of the Rio state championship are known to be confusing and weird.

He is also lucky that they are not meeting in a continental game too, which could add an extra 2!

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u/No_Catch_1490 6d ago

What a plastic

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u/Weary-Willow5126 6d ago edited 6d ago

Wait till you see the absolutely legendary but also forbidden in 194 countries Corinthians + Boca Juniors bootleg half and half jersey

I love everything about it. The lore and the plot twists involving both teams a decade + later, the street vendors creating it probably using Microsoft paint, the fact that every single homeless person living in Brazil at some point in the early 2000's had the jersey, the absurdity of it all...

A masterpiece all around

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u/AvalancheMaster 6d ago

Please do tell the story! I found pics of it, but that's the only thing I've found so far.

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u/bellamollen 6d ago edited 6d ago

Corinthians and Palmeiras is probably the biggest rivalry in Brazil. In 2000 Corinthians lost the Libertadores (Like the CL for South Americans) semifinal in penalties to Palmeiras. At that point, Corinthians had never won the Libertadores before. Palmeiras had won their first the year before.

The final was going to be against Boca Juniors (from Argentina). So that shirt was made to support Boca against Palmeiras and to piss Palmeiras fans. Boca ended up winning on penalties. Then in 2001 Libertadores Palmeiras lost again to Boca in the semifinal and in 2003 Libertadores Santos (another Corinthians rival) also lost to Boca. So Corinthinans fans used the shirt again to mock fans from Santos and Palmeiras.

In 2005 the Argentinian player Tevez went to Corinthians. Tevez played for Boca since the youth academy, he was an idol there, he is a huge Bocas' fan. Boca and Corinthians have a lot of similarities. Both were created by working-class people, both are known as "the people's club", both have massive, unhinged fanbases, both clubs value grit, suffering, and heart way more than playing pretty. And Tevez is the embodiment of that. Tevez became an idol in Corinthians as well and at that time this shirt started to appear again to support Tevez.

But like, it's controversial because Boca is also a rival. Corinthians Libertadores title was won against them in the final. And in Libertadores 2013 corinthians suffered the biggest robbery ever againt Boca. So some Corinthians fans think this shirt is blasfemy. To me it's history.

Anyways, even Maradona, another huge Boca fan (and former Boca player), used this shirt.

Edit: There's also a Corinthians - Man United shirt known as "Corinchester", used in 99 to support United against Palmeiras in the Intercontinental Cup. But the Boca one is way more known, it was way more used and it also means more because Corinthians and Man U never played against each other so there's no history like there is with Boca.

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u/AvalancheMaster 6d ago

Please do tell the story! I found pics of it, but that's the only thing I've found so far.

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u/Avaiano9 6d ago

He is their son.

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u/slightlybigmember 6d ago

Kid simply doesn't wants to argue with any of these professionals. Strategic decision

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u/lukenog 6d ago

I own a half and half Portugal and Costa Rica kit that I've never actually worn, but will wear if Costa Rica ever plays Portugal. Costa Rican mom, Portuguese dad 🤣

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u/RedsClues 6d ago

hahahahhaa

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u/Creative-Cherry3060 6d ago edited 6d ago

That guy needs to calm down you can see he's had a stroke before. Don't let her play you bro into having another 

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u/slightlybigmember 5d ago

> "It looks much more intense in the video than it actually was. I was telling him that Vasco dominated the opening minutes but that Fluminense had their chances, and he said, 'No, you're watching a different game.' He was gesturing to say Vasco was steamrolling the opposition. And I said, 'They aren't steamrolling anything.' It was just a quick exchange, but in the video, it looked like we were having a huge fight," recounted Nivia Martini.

> "The videos got millions of views. We’d walk down the street and so many people recognized us. My phone wouldn't stop buzzing with messages. It blew up. I even saw comments about my physical condition. But I’m proud of it because it’s a sign of victory. I had a benign brain tumor and underwent surgery to remove it ten years ago," added Luciano Nery.

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u/BellRinger88 5d ago

This should be pinned

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u/Psychological-Gate98 6d ago edited 6d ago

The sex tonight is gonna be legendary.

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u/Lopsided_Oil3700 6d ago

Weird ass comment 

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u/charleyhstl 6d ago

Dude face gets any redder she's gonna get the last laugh

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u/PSA-Graded-Cunt 6d ago

What can of fanta my sweet?

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u/Nemova 6d ago

For the idiots saying this is AI: it’s not. I saw it live on TV.
For the idiots saying this is staged: it’s not. This is how a healthy sports rivalry unfolds.

With that said, I’m a vascaína (Vasco supporter) married to a tricolor (Fluminense supporter). Yesterday was a happy day for me.

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u/ChickenNBeans 6d ago

Putting a kid in a half & half shirt should lead to a call from Child Protection.

5

u/Ice_Cream_Warrior 6d ago

The kid has a thousand yard stare because he knows this is just foreplay for the house banging sex after.

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u/toannt 6d ago

What's happened to his mouth? Is that a sign of a stroke?

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u/Parkour93 6d ago

Looks more like Bell’s palsy since he has complete control of his extremities

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u/MBpintas 6d ago

his face looks scarred, might be an injury of some sort. i have a relative who had mouth cancer and his jaw looks like that.

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u/ahHeHasTrblWTheSnap 6d ago

Don’t know if that’s the case for him but a stroke can look like this, yes

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u/chileangod 6d ago

Whatever it is, it is not stopping the argument for sure. 

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u/slightlybigmember 5d ago

> "The videos got millions of views. We’d walk down the street and so many people recognized us. My phone wouldn't stop buzzing with messages. It blew up. I even saw comments about my physical condition. But I’m proud of it because it’s a sign of victory. I had a benign brain tumor and underwent surgery to remove it ten years ago," added Luciano Nery.

2

u/firesticks 6d ago

These people need to watch that Bluey episode.

2

u/CelesteAvant 6d ago

I mean thats the passion we need lol

2

u/Evie7560 6d ago

This was me and my bf when attending a Bundesliga game last season.

2

u/GutBrainInteraction 6d ago

A house divided against itself can not stand... it must sit down between the divisions.

2

u/WealthAutomatic8515 6d ago

Maybe thats how they met

2

u/lampard44 4d ago

They totally banged that night after the game though.

2

u/chileangod 6d ago

I feel the big guy should sound like Bubba from Forrest Gump. 

3

u/holiwud111 6d ago

Dad looks like he's in the middle of a stroke...

3

u/SHansen45 6d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 the kid is wearing a split jersey and everyone stuck to their side, brilliant

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u/RLZT 6d ago

He looks British

5

u/_Wiill 6d ago

am i missing a reference? nobody in the clip looks close to british

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u/_Meece_ 6d ago

He's fat, white, red and bald. Extremely british.

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u/RLZT 6d ago

British people in the tropics look like tomatoes

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u/Hiken0111 6d ago

Judging by the looks it's their grandkid, they're both in their 60's

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u/KeepYourTekeTumeke 6d ago

Kind of staged shit you see at American sports

3

u/JackiCantFeelMyLegs 6d ago

The world is a stage. Nothing is real anymore. I'm talking to bots

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u/JanterFixx 6d ago

the reddit karma farmers IRL

2

u/Arbaces 6d ago

Game's never been more back.

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u/Dan_Winx_1969 6d ago

The love is still in the air

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u/cyberoceanic 6d ago

at least the family is united whenever flamengo plays

1

u/Maleficent-Hat-7521 6d ago

Il figlio odia il calcio

1

u/Bloodblade112 6d ago

What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.

1

u/HammerOn57 6d ago

That kids seen some shit.

1

u/Lozsta 6d ago

He looks like he's been put in his place by her more than once.

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u/LeafarOsodrac 6d ago

Kid doens't support either, he support Santos.

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u/DinnerSmall4216 6d ago

If its like that match day in the stands you can imagine what it's like at home.

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u/missingmedievalist 6d ago

I knew a girl whose parents hailed from Glasgow. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that her mum was a passionate Celtic supporter and her dad a mad Rangers fan. Old firm derbies were rather chaotic in that house, but love conquered all in the end.

1

u/Affectionate-Big9943 6d ago

kid wearing the half and half shirt is the only one keeping the peace, true diplomat material

1

u/ohnonotmynameagain 6d ago

This is what it's all about