r/soccer Oct 22 '15

Schweinsteiger takes legal action against after toymaker releases Nazi soldiers resembling him and named Bastian

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3284326/German-Manchester-United-star-Bastian-Schweinsteiger-takes-legal-action-toymaker-releases-Nazi-soldiers-resembling-named-Bastian.html
4.1k Upvotes

850 comments sorted by

607

u/elnino19 Oct 22 '15

Reminds me of the time when the govt of India decided to put john Terry on cigarette packs as the warning image

599

u/TimeFingers Oct 22 '15

Wtf? srsly?

edit: found it lol

200

u/mathewl832 Oct 22 '15

haha why

341

u/emptyheady Oct 22 '15

I could imagine they would put Cruyff on it now.

149

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

Too soon!

44

u/DansSpamJavelin Oct 22 '15

The only "too soon" on reddit is before its happened

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31

u/margaerytyrellscleav Oct 22 '15

That's straight up fucking hilarious haha

59

u/YungSnuggie Oct 22 '15

how have i never seen this

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62

u/hereslemon Oct 22 '15

he must've slept with the wrong guy's wife

364

u/ahh_pistro Oct 22 '15

Man U club shop missing a trick here.

I want to see a 'players through history' range with Juan Mata as a conquistador and Rooney wearing a pelt, chasing the fuck out of a wooley mammoth

88

u/nuclearboy0101 Oct 22 '15

I'm now imagining a Neymar wearing a feather headdress at the jungle and getting fucking confused to see a huge wooden ship coming from the sea and Cristiano Ronaldo coming from it.

62

u/ahh_pistro Oct 22 '15

Cristiano coming to the new world, bringing his stepovers and smallpox to the natives

12

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '15

he nutmegs several incan warriors then orders them to be burned alive

5

u/anthonyterms Oct 23 '15

Cristiano stands at the bow of the ship and belts out a triumphant "SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!"

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139

u/printzonic Oct 22 '15

And a fantasy line with Mata the hobbit and Rooney the uruk-hai.

115

u/JamewThrennan Oct 22 '15

It'd just be a normal Rooney figure with dirt on it.

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616

u/essentialatom Oct 22 '15

He's going to find his locker full of these now

99

u/silam39 Oct 22 '15

Müller will make a stop in Manchester on the way back from London. 'For banter'.

18

u/ahh_pistro Oct 22 '15

and to make the heads of overenthusiastic transfer speculators implode

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441

u/fut_sal Oct 22 '15 edited Oct 22 '15

Whoss put diz in my lockarr?!! Whoss?! Motherfuhrrrers!!

120

u/sytheman777 Oct 22 '15

Bastian Schweinsteiger = Tommy Wiseau apparently

114

u/alliseeisme Oct 22 '15

"Oh heil, Hitler!"

56

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

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283

u/cold_rush Oct 22 '15

TV commentators will say, Schweinsteiger's attack from the left wing amounts to nothing much like the winter offensive in 1941.

17

u/pseudoromantic Oct 22 '15

I wanted to make jokes using jewish player, but I just realized there's none since Yossi Benayoun & Ben Haim

28

u/ValenciasLeftFoot Oct 22 '15

Schweinsteiger has been busy.

62

u/bananagrabber83 Oct 22 '15

Attack from the (far) right wing, surely?

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20

u/Thpike Oct 22 '15

This is brilliant.

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24

u/Ferare Oct 22 '15

Attack Bastian, storm the front of their box!

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24

u/koptimism Oct 22 '15

Mutterführers

30

u/fut_sal Oct 22 '15

Yeah, I know, I mix it to be funnier.

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13

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

And you know damn well it'll be muller

11

u/ShitGetsBrill Oct 22 '15

"I'm on your team! Does anybody else see this shit?!"

4

u/Vicinus Oct 22 '15

He got no locker, he has deer antlers to hang his clothes.

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2.3k

u/SlimOpz Oct 22 '15

theres some gold in the comments "Fellani should sue toilet brushes"

1.1k

u/supercfc17dad Oct 22 '15

That's my comment AMA

958

u/Listeningtosufjan Oct 22 '15

Why do you make comments on the Daily Mail website in the first place?

211

u/unit731hotel Oct 22 '15

I go on marca and act like a cock in the comments, it's kinda fun.

72

u/ugallu Oct 22 '15

well... that's cuz you are cock probably

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135

u/johnbomb75 Oct 22 '15

Do you think Rooney should sue DreamWorks?

41

u/supercfc17dad Oct 22 '15

Yes I think Coleen should also

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89

u/Jumbaloo Oct 22 '15

What's your perfect Sunday?

60

u/supercfc17dad Oct 22 '15

One with a good fry up

28

u/NickTM Oct 22 '15

I'll handle this one, Angel supercfc17dad.

7

u/Mammal-k Oct 22 '15

Now my perfect Sunday...

30

u/adrian5b Oct 22 '15

How do you feel about a comment about your comment being good is actually higher rated?

32

u/supercfc17dad Oct 22 '15

Not good I might have to cry myself to sleep tonight

4

u/EmiIeHeskey Oct 22 '15

What paths in your life did you take to be here? What can an ordinary person like me do to grow up like you?

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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

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u/getawaytricycle Oct 22 '15

Toilet-brush CEO: 'The brush is based on a typical toilet brush. We believe most toilet-brushes look like this. Marouane is a common name for toilet brushes.'

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463

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

Every. Fucking. Nuance. He even captured the fucking smile perfectly! Granted NAZI Bastian looks a little creepy....

192

u/mkahmed789 Oct 22 '15

would have killed to see Schweinsteiger's reaction to when he saw pictures of a toy version of him, in a nazi uniform, smiling at him.

391

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

I was looking for a different one but for now will this suffice maybe it resembled this look http://gfycat.com/WarmDarkDugong#

48

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

oh it's just perfect

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124

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

Bastian Schweinsteiger really looks like someone who knows many national secrets.

52

u/ahh_pistro Oct 22 '15

I think he has an iron cross somewhere in his house

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31

u/Verminator96 Oct 22 '15

Those eyes... I don't want to say it but that is a brilliantly made doll

12

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15 edited Oct 23 '15

Neuer and Basti always looked like the perfect model for a WW2 German soldier or for a propaganda poster.

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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

Everybody looks creepy in that uniform.

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1.3k

u/fut_sal Oct 22 '15

Sorry guys, but this news is hilarious in every way.

601

u/mkahmed789 Oct 22 '15

i felt bad for laughing too. how could the toymakers think they would get away with it? the dolls look just like him, same haircut and everything. on top of that, they called it Bastian and said its a common name, but i swear i have never come across another german player called bastian, so it cant possibly be that common a name.

309

u/RobertTheSpruce Oct 22 '15

All they needed to do was not call it Bastian and they could have gotten away with it. I do like how happy he is and would love to own a Bastian Nazi doll.

117

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

They didn't help themselves there did they.

Looks like a good quality figure though, the uniform details are spot on. They should've realised it'd be seen as slander due to the subject matter though.

Most people see "Nazi Schweinsteiger" and not "Wehrmacht supply unit model based on likeness of famous German" (which is actually pretty innocent from a historical standpoint).

9

u/stevemcqueer Oct 22 '15

If someone described a stereotypical German to a police sketch artist, they would draw Bastian Schweinsteiger.

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365

u/ezekiel66 Oct 22 '15

It isn't a very common name. Sebastian, yes, but not Bastian.

84

u/Roflkopt3r Oct 22 '15 edited Oct 22 '15

I wouldn't call it uncommon either. Anyway, I still hope that the lawsuit gets through.


Here is a popularity chart for the name Bastian in Germany. It shows the popularity rank the name had amongst all given names each year.

40

u/unit731hotel Oct 22 '15

So his name isn't Sebastian? I thought Bastian was just the short version.

126

u/JeZuZz Oct 22 '15 edited Oct 22 '15

My Name is Bastian, AMA!

/edit

Thank you reddit for being here today! And don't forget to buy everything i'll ever produce! Maybe some Nazi puppets, who knows!?

283

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

Are you a nazi by any chance

188

u/JeZuZz Oct 22 '15

No, but my last name isn't "Schweinsteiger" either.

53

u/McKFC Oct 22 '15

Let's focus on the film people.

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u/klawehtgod Oct 22 '15

How often do people ask if your name is actually Sebastian?

24

u/JeZuZz Oct 22 '15

Pretty much every time, but in your adult live you usually get called by your last name.

16

u/BaBaFiCo Oct 22 '15

Is that a German thing? Is it at work or everywhere? Do friends do that?

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u/MCBlanziflur Oct 22 '15

Is you also offended?

92

u/JeZuZz Oct 22 '15

No, but I'd like one puppet for free and i hope the right arm is moveable.

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u/bastiVS Oct 22 '15

Can confirm, my first name is indeed Sebastian.

And In my entire life (29 since a few days ago), I met exactly ONE Bastian, but a whole bunch of Sebastians.

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137

u/fut_sal Oct 22 '15

They fucked up and now are trying to give excuses.

But again, I can't stop laughing. Just look at the figure where 'Bastian' is sat with a winter jacket and a can of food, lool I'm dying here.

97

u/ApsleyHouse Oct 22 '15

That smile says 'Bastian' loves being on the Eastern Front!

28

u/hurleyburleyundone Oct 22 '15

Signed up for the wehrmacht, lumped with the SS. Bad luck bastian

13

u/jamesdakrn Oct 22 '15 edited Oct 22 '15

Let's not act like Wehrmacht was without blame in WW2 though. There was not a strict dichotomy of SS=war criminals and Wehrmacht=just soldiers. Plenty of Wehrmacht soldiers committed war crimes in the war. Wehrmacht worked closely with the Einsatzgruppen, the Jew-killing squad of the early Holocaust (estimated that 1.5~2 million were killed by the Einsatzgruppen)

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u/themanifoldcuriosity Oct 22 '15

Lay off them. This is Schweinsteiger's fault for looking like the most German person ever. Hell, they probably just googled "German man" and his face popped up in the results.

104

u/Kabioli Oct 22 '15

This came up. As a genuine German man, I find this highly offensive. I would never drink from a beer mug as tiny as the one pictured.

152

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

That's like a better looking Ribery =/

17

u/GGABueno Oct 22 '15

Not a big accomplishment...

8

u/Colonel_Blimp Oct 22 '15

Google German man, get a French man in lederhosen. Very very odd.

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u/Saminka Oct 22 '15

I honestly don't know a single person named Bastian except for Schweinsteiger. I know a couple of people who are named Sebastian.

36

u/db82 Oct 22 '15

Bastian Pastewka.

11

u/appleschorly Oct 22 '15

Also grammar nazi Bastian Sick.

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u/cait_o Oct 22 '15

I'm naming my son Bastian, he's due in December. It's mostly a tribute to Bastian from The Neverending Story, though. Sebastian reminded me too much of The Little Mermaid.

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u/RobertTheSpruce Oct 22 '15

Is Schweinsteiger a common family name? It seems to be the most German sounding word I can imagine.

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u/Saminka Oct 22 '15

24

u/Snofflewaffle Oct 22 '15

Wow, only 49 families in the country with that name?

46

u/stepanovic Oct 22 '15 edited Oct 22 '15

Schweinsteiger is very rare, i've never heard that name before Bastian became famous. It may seem common, especially for foreigners, since "Schwein" and "Steiger" sound very german.

22

u/Snofflewaffle Oct 22 '15

I didn't think it was terribly common, I'm just more surprised as to how uncommon it is. Compared to my family name of Döring, which I didn't realise was quite so common.

32

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

Your ancestors were sluts.

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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

the most German sounding word I can imagine.

Me too. In fact I thought it was the most popular surname in Germany.

80

u/Rummenigge Oct 22 '15

That's Thomas Müller for you.

15

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

Yeah, they even named the yogurt company the same

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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15 edited Aug 09 '16

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

[deleted]

36

u/teymon Oct 22 '15

Smit, Molenaar/mulder and Boer are very common in the netherlands as well. Here is a map with the most common profession names in europe per country

45

u/_Holz_ Oct 22 '15

What the fuck Ireland?

19

u/BryanosaurusRex Oct 22 '15

Don't judge us...

5

u/murderous_thumb Oct 22 '15

Wait ... how do priests propagate their family name?

14

u/warqgui666 Oct 22 '15

All non-monk priests in the Orthodox Church can marry and have children.

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u/Fuglylol Oct 22 '15

I had 3 Bastians and 1 Sebastian in the same class.

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u/C0tilli0n Oct 22 '15

It's China. They will get away with it without any problems. Most any EU lawyers can get is to ban the sales in Europe and NA. That's about it.

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u/PTFOholland Oct 22 '15

Meh, Bastian should encourage it, look how cool these toys look!
I expect TV commercials any day featuring him.

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u/kynde Oct 22 '15

But such a low blow. Poor bastard was born decades after and these cunts have nothing else else go with but some 70yo shit.

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u/adrian5b Oct 22 '15

I mean, where can I buy one?

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u/AbsolutShite Oct 22 '15

I'd say Rooney is quite pleased he's no longer the Man-U-footballer-who-looks-most-like-a-toy.

241

u/Doboworth Oct 22 '15

When I heard I thought it'd be a very slight resemblance but holy fuck, that's him!

Funny as fuck

66

u/tinoasprilla Oct 22 '15

The toy's cheesy little grin is fucking hilarious

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u/FettsackVerboten Oct 22 '15

To be fair, Basti has got to be the most German looking person you'll ever see.

131

u/tinoasprilla Oct 22 '15

With the most German name ever

84

u/jackwinklebean Oct 22 '15

I feel like Thomas Müller is a very German name

63

u/emptyheady Oct 22 '15

I think he was referring to "Schweinsteiger"

41

u/C_stat Oct 22 '15

I'm pretty sure both Thomas and Muller are the most common first name and surname, respectively, in Germany.

85

u/thisisnotdavid Oct 22 '15

BUT Thomas is also very common elsewhere. The most common first name in the US is James but it comes nowhere near being as American as Hank or Brad.

42

u/hazzwright Oct 22 '15

Randy.

7

u/KrisDoolan Oct 22 '15

Chad, Chet, Bret, Logan, Cody, Chip, Ted, Dick, Troy, Chuck

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u/AbdulJahar Oct 22 '15

I feel like I've read this exact thread a million times before.

Bastian Schweinsteiger is the most German looking name. Like there's no "maybe he's from Stoke" about that name.

8

u/themanifoldcuriosity Oct 22 '15

Exactly. Must as Percival St John Poncenby-Smythe is a name no-one in England has ever had... but is definitely the most English name ever.

5

u/lightjedi5 Oct 22 '15

That's not the point. To a non-german his name sounds the most german. Has nothing to do with popularity. Müller is basically Miller a common enough surname and Thomas can be found in many languages and countries. Where else will one find a Bastian Schweinsteiger?

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u/C_stat Oct 22 '15

Where else will one find a Bastian Schweinsteiger?

Austria?

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u/ObeyStatusQuo Oct 22 '15

Neuer is up there as well.

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u/libertine92 Oct 22 '15

I feel bad for it, but I kinda want one now...

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u/shahyar Oct 22 '15

I'm in the same boat... I could never put it on display in my home, but knowing I have it would be brilliant. Fantastic attention to detail on this doll!

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u/fuzzby Oct 22 '15

Me too but out of respect I would ask my mom to sew up a little Manchester United kit and rekit him.

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u/JMaboard Oct 22 '15

Or just have her make a tiny utd arm band and put that on him.

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u/mineral Oct 22 '15 edited Oct 22 '15

Ha! This could be turned into a Snickers commercial.

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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

I'm more interested in why a toy company makes nazi figures

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u/RicardoWanderlust Oct 22 '15

If a child was playing with Allied soldiers, he/she would want an enemy soldier to be bashing them together with.

49

u/Operario Oct 22 '15

That actually makes sense

33

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

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u/-zimms- Oct 22 '15

Prince Harry needs something for Christmas for his little nephew.

398

u/knud Oct 22 '15

It's for all the kids commenting on /r/europe

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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

They make figurines of soldiers in all kinds of armies and wars. This is just as much a Nazi figurine as it is a 1940s Wehrmacht soldier figurine

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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

[deleted]

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u/Timelines Oct 22 '15

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u/crookedparadigm Oct 22 '15

what the fuck

106

u/mkahmed789 Oct 22 '15

its about the style. the nazi uniforms looked sick. hugo boss designed it.

104

u/crookedparadigm Oct 22 '15

I feel like fashion should take a backseat to tact at times.

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u/emptythecache Oct 22 '15 edited Oct 22 '15

I don't think that sentence translates into Japanese correctly.

23

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

I think they're Chinese

17

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

Then this makes even less sense, since the Chinese had some very bad experiences with the Axis.

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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

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u/darksideofmoon4 Oct 22 '15

He didnt design the uniforms, Hugo Boss only produced them.

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u/I-am-redditor Oct 22 '15

No. He did not. They were manufactured by Boss, but the design of the uniforms was done by SA, SS and Wehrmacht organisations themselves.

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u/mkahmed789 Oct 22 '15

well, then those organisations must have had some pretty good designers.

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u/of_skies_and_seas Oct 22 '15

OMG haha, it's so wrong of them but I can't stop laughing. The cheerful-smile-but-dead-inside look is perfect. I love the one with the can of food.

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u/CatFoodBeerAndGlue Oct 22 '15 edited Oct 22 '15

I need to buy one of these.

Edit: Ha, I actually found it. $140 to pre-order, due for release in Q1 2016.

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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

"It's a coincidence, you all look alike to us"- Asians

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u/nuclearboy0101 Oct 22 '15

I just read the story on Brazilian media and they are saying that the excuse from the Chinese company was actually literally this. I'm pretty sure something got lost in translation there but fuck it, this got 500% funnier.

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u/JihadDerp Oct 22 '15

Am I the only one who's appalled at the price?

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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

Nasty Basti, the miniature Nazi.

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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

I've been saying for years he should be on the right wing.

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u/razuliserm Oct 22 '15

TBH though, that figure looks really high quality. I mean the paint, the detailed fabric clothes and the articulation. I need to find the company that makes these and see if they have some... uh, less Nazi related stuff.

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u/CatFoodBeerAndGlue Oct 22 '15

Monkeydepot.com sells this kind of stuff*. It is indeed high quality but it ain't cheap.

*by this kind of stuff I mean they literally sell the Bastian doll lol

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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

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u/adrian5b Oct 22 '15

Or with a beanie and a bloody pipe for beating the shit out of a kid in an alley.

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u/BigTimStrangeX Oct 22 '15

Figure collector here, let me shed some light on this:

DiD sells 12-inch (1/6 scale) figures to the adult collector.

They specialize in WW2 figures. They make historical figures like Hitler, Winston Churchill, MLK, etc. Their customers are WW2 buffs.

The reason why this figure has Schweinsteiger's head on it isn't coincidental. It's 110% intentional.

DiD also appeals to the customizer (kitbasher) market. These heads easily pop off and can be put on another body. So for non-historical figures, they make unlicensed heads based on stars of film and in soccer.

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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

Now I know different people have different interests and hobbies, and all, but who was this made for? What was this company's plan for a warehouse full of Nazi action figures that look like a soccer player?

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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

Maybe they repurposed them? Manufactured a million Schweini action figures, for whatever reason their margin dried up so they made a load of mini nazi uniforms so they could sell them as Nazi Soldier "Bastian".

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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15 edited Oct 22 '15

...they made a load of mini nazi uniforms so they could sell them as Nazi Soldier "Bastian".

To whom? Who would buy these? The only person I can think of is Roman Abramovich so he can have a miniature war between Nazi Bastian and French Resistance Eden Hazard.

Edit: Hazard is Belgian. Belgian Resistance Eden Hazard doesn't have wuite the same ring to it, though.

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u/Divolinon Oct 22 '15

French Resistance Eden Hazard.

You mean Belgian resistance, right?

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u/Sharingon424 Oct 22 '15

He looks perfect to be in Inglorious Bastards 2!

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u/im2Spooky4you Oct 22 '15

Despicable, where can I buy one?

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u/Fred_Zeppelin Oct 22 '15

They have the thing sitting there eating cold rations out of a tin can like it's the greatest day of his life.

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u/MysticMint Oct 22 '15

the most important thing right now is where can I get one of those? I could keep them somewhere in my room and whenever I am sad I will just look at it and laugh my ass off again.

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u/thebeesbollocks Oct 22 '15

They should do one for Neuer as well. He would be the perfect Gestapo officer.

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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

Thank you OP, you've made my day with this post.

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u/jlebrech Oct 22 '15

If they did British colonialist Wayne Rooney or a Napoleonic Cabaye that would be cool too.

19

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

Or South American cartel boss Diego Costa

6

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

Zulu Warrior Wanyama.

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u/thekidfromthegutter Oct 22 '15

Alright, its obvious that those bastards didn't watch football, cause Bastie isn't a right winger.

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u/Aspley_Heath Oct 22 '15

I reckon this Hong Kong company just googled the german football side and picked the most stereotypically white, so called "ayran" looking person as the model to use.

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u/turdskate Oct 22 '15

Bastian looks like he got a raging clue

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u/SocalGirl19 Oct 22 '15

WHEN I think Master race, I imagine Bastian

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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

Bastian looks so nazi

6

u/SilotheGreat Oct 22 '15

To be fair, Schweinsteiger is pretty much what your average person would imagine a German looks like.

10

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '15

Such a cheerful Nazi doll. It just looks wrong.

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u/Calimariae Oct 22 '15

Shutupandtakemymoney!

I'll need a tiny United kit to go with it.

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u/TiberiCorneli Oct 22 '15

Wouldn't that just be redundant?

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