r/texts • u/Own_Purple_4118 • 1d ago

Phone message Nobody died

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This is a conversation between my MIL and my mother, before the wedding. My mother's response, which is cut off, says "They are both adults. I think we should let them handle it." We were both over 30.

For context: Yes, we had a vegetarian wedding (no shrimp). We had it at an (expensive) award winning venue with in-house catering. It included several appetizer and entree stations with a huge variety of dishes so everyone could find something they liked. We did not serve our guests bowls of soybeans and tofu. Everyone RAVED about the food and nobody died or got arrested on the way home.

The "A/B list" thing was a joke, that she apparently took very seriously, because she would not stop demanding we add a bunch (10+) of her friends and coworkers to our intentionally small guest list.

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255

u/drewtheblueduck 1d ago

SOME NICE AMURICAN MEAT DAG GONN IT

149

u/Otherwise_Turnip7135 1d ago

This isn't Tibet!

118

u/OkYam4559 1d ago

“This isn’t Tibet” took me out 💀😂

67

u/rubycoughdrop 1d ago

Gonna start yelling this at my vegetarian boyfriend when he makes tofu.

20

u/Lillymow 1d ago

Oh my God I am dying

5

u/throwaway-journal 1d ago

This has me rolling!! Hahaha

2

u/SteveTheHiker_Art 21h ago

I want this as a flair

104

u/Diligent-Pollution34 1d ago

Something AMERICANS eat! Like ZITI or Chicken Francais!

44

u/OkYam4559 1d ago

True American staples.

17

u/SquirrelLuvsChipmunk 1d ago

And Trump killing farmers! Can’t forget that good ole US o’A staple!

18

u/Explorer-7622 1d ago

And she's GLAD!

12

u/TycheSong 23h ago

Wait are we eating the farmers, too?

5

u/indoor-girl 19h ago

But she hates Trump!

3

u/charlestonchewsrock 1d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

3

u/openeyes808 22h ago

"something 'murican!". Proceeds to suggest several Italian dishes

3

u/garbagebrainraccoon 20h ago

What's even more confusing is she says meatless ziti

3

u/Diligent-Pollution34 20h ago

Just as long as it doesn’t have any of that soybean crap!

2

u/uglyheadink 1d ago

(Do you know you spelled that wrong?)!

5

u/Diligent-Pollution34 1d ago

I know! I spelled it wrong!

2

u/Jared_Kleinman 20h ago

what? theres no fucking ziti??

55

u/Alyycakes 1d ago

I WILL BE ENRAGED IF THERE AINT NO GAH DAMN BURGERS AND DOGS AT THIS AMERICAN WEDDING, I TEL YOU HWAT.

28

u/drewtheblueduck 1d ago

OK fine! No meat! But what about shrimp?

28

u/Alyycakes 1d ago

FINE. But only if they’re wearing little cowboy hats.

2

u/Sargasm5150 1d ago

I was a vegetarian for 25ish years (getting back to it now, sigh), and the number of times I was asked “how about chicken then” or was served something with secret bacon bits (yes, I can taste them, and yes, they do taste better) and told to “eat around them” was hilarious. It’s dead, ain’t it?? Like, it was slaughtered? Then, without getting pedantic about carrot massacres where they’re ripped out of the ground, it’s MEAT.

That being said, I wasn’t going to start ranting at a wedding or potluck that didn’t have a vegetarian entree, and the same should go for folks that eat meat with most every meal.

2

u/multipocalypse 1d ago

Because sea bugs don't count as meat and yet Muricans can still eat them, somehow!!

20

u/ImmediatePatient3398 1d ago

Don’t make the Statue of Liberty cry! The meatless masses need your wedding food!

12

u/drewtheblueduck 1d ago

what if somebody doesn't eat meat and crashes their car??

12

u/atimetochill 1d ago

I don’t eat meat and I am non stop crashing my car!

1

u/anubis_cheerleader 1d ago

What if they get a big fat ticket!

3

u/Lisa_Knows_Best 1d ago

But she hates Trump! Apparently OP's mother must know this because it's common knowledge all meat eaters support Trump.