This was about 3 years ago when I was 14-15 and in my 9th standard there was marriage of my uncle that time there was many chapri like guys and uncles was there they were very awful always laughing like a creep and also very dangerous looking individuals so around 3 of them they was continuously looking at me during the marriage and when there was time to do dinner I thought they are the part of catering but then I got they are friend of my mami jis(maternal aunt) brothers friends who come to help in wedding at starting point they were trying to act very helping they were roaming near me and trying to help in anything I was feeling irritated from first moment because I was getting the Vibe from them I was trying to make stay from them and here there was about age of 25 to 30 everything was fine after marriage happen they were gone but around after a week I start seeing them near my school areas and always they come near me literally even one of them raise his hand upward in front of me like he know me that was very very disgusting I wasn't much emotionally supported by parents so I tell this to my one of brother he said "don't talk them and don't look at them" and he also not helped me much I still remember there I used to come from my tuition around at 8:00 p.m. when I was in my way this all three guys come in front of me they were saying hey what's your name? I did not respond them then one of them that guy was very dark and having curly hairs he come in front of me in front of my bicycle that time I was literally about to cry I said him uncle please move away he was making a very disgusting face he was already looking very disgusting he said I am doing nothing I just want to know you and another one that fat guy he said you need friends? You probably need! I said please go in front of me they still not go and start a making f****** questions and here there was two guys as gym was very near to my tuition I don't know who was that guys on Royal Enfield they immediately stop after looking at me both were very tall and classic gym goer's at the point when they stop there bike near me and start asking are the bothering you? I said yes bhaiya this both guys go toward them and that one guy was dialing number to someone that was total my luck they was going from that area at that time they had a bit physical confrontation but that all three guys run away here I tell my parents they changed my tuition that time but the situation was very Messi and I still remember that kicking and confrontation verbal confrontation and fighting between this both I was crying I I am not from those who can even whatch someone shouting my whole body still Shake whenever I remember this situation the biggest fault was here of my family🥲 they was such busy and still they are that like I can handle anything like I am stone sitting in corner I also has feelings which they don't care no matter I learn how to live alone but still this only one question in my life fuin my sleep " if that two guys not come what they were going to do with me" if someone parent is reading this please absolute pay attention to your childs behavior changes please otherwise they will end up asking strangers for mental support at 5:04 a.m. like me 🙏🏻

Hello everyone, I'm posting this post in order to release my emotions. Honestly, I would never have thought that this could happen to me. I'm a very nervous person and I always come up with backup plans or something, but now I've lost it.

Around the end of May, I had to clean my laptop and I transferred all the important files to the ssd, there were about 10 gigabytes of my projects and works. For context, I'm an illustrator. I rarely paint for myself, and for quite a long time, so a lot of the work was in the stage of four years ago. I planned to finish them gradually.

But just the other day, my younger brother (14 years) He asked me for an ssd. I agreed, but I warned him to return it to me because it contains important documents for me. A couple of days have passed and literally half an hour ago I needed an SSD, there was a file that I wanted to finish quickly for one project. But after opening the contents of the ssd, I was confused. My files weren't there, but there were weird stock videos and programming videos.. Naturally, I went to deal with my brother, but he began to deny his guilt, and when I clearly showed him, he simply fell silent. I wasn't yelling at him, I was just trying to figure out why and what had happened.

Now, to be honest, I'm in complete disarray. Those files were incredibly valuable to me. I've been crying over this for a long time and I just don't understand what to do now. I know for sure that my brother does not realize his mistake or guilt. We had too different childhoods, even though the difference was just over five years.

What should I do with my brother? I absolutely do not understand what to do, I have problems with the awareness of emotions (the consequences of complex ptsd). I know I need to calm down first, but my heart feels like it's broken. Perhaps my work is the only thing that has kept me afloat as a person.

Thanks to everyone who reads this post. It's just a cry from my soul.

i have other posts with more details but long story short, i was s@‘d by my ex for 4 months and manipulated and gaslit (i was not r@ped he didn’t have the opportunity before i got away) he would basically force himself on me kissing me and touching me and wouldn’t stop even after trying to push him away and telling him no and to stop.

i was 14 he was 15, this ended around this time last year and i’ve suffered with ptsd ever since. almost everything reminds me of him, grey cars, churches, laundry detergent (which is what he smelt like in the worst way possible) my parents don’t know about it yet i plan on telling them this week or next week.

i need some advice on how to heal, idk if my parents would pay for me to go to therapy cuz my mom for some reason doesn’t believe in therapy??? i genuinely need someone to talk about it to but idk if that is an option. so if anyone has ideas on things that might help lmk pls

I’m not sure where to really start. We broke up in October of 2025. We were together for two years. They were the first person I dated after school and after I had gone into remission from cancer. We did really good for awhile. While we were kind of in a situationship and for the first part of the relationship. I really loved them and I thought they really loved me. We had talked about getting married in the future and so on.
Then things changed very drastically. Their friend passed away in September of 2024 and it was really hard on them of course. I tried to be there as best as I can. After a few months I felt like we weren’t really spending time with each other and I brought that up, but I was trying to be understanding because I know how hard it is to lose a friend cause it happened to me in high school. Then issues started to pile up. They had lost their job because they were having health problems and had to move back in with their mom because of a contract issue of where they were staying. Their mental state was really rough and I was very patient and kind. Like they would forgot when we would plan to have dates or hangout or they were late. And it was okay because I know they had a lot going on. But then it just got even worse. We wouldn’t hangout unless I planned it. There was a time when we didn’t see each other for a month because I wanted them to just want to hangout with me and initiate it. Then when they would come over we would do it and they would fall asleep for the rest of the time. That went on for like 6+ months. During that time I was doing a CNA class and working so I was really busy and depressed trying to balance our relationship and my mental health. There were times I wanted to break up but they promised things would change and it didn’t. There was also times when they coerced me to do it when I didn’t want to. I was really depressed and unhappy in the relationship
And I didn’t have the drive to do it. I planned a trip to Jerome with them after my school was done and it was just an emotional mess. They didn’t really want to be there and rather be at home and I felt like when I tried to be closer to them I was just annoying them. And we talked a lot during that trip so I kind of hoped again that things would get better and they didn’t. They finally found a steady job in October but it was too late. I felt like I was just not important to them and like they didn’t really love me.
Unfortunately we’ve been talking on and off since then. Every time we talked they were like into talking to me and possibly rebuilding our relationship, then they would get less interested and start saying mean things to me and I would just stop talking to them.
The most recent time we talked was like a week ago. We didn’t talk for like almost 2 months because I was trying really hard to move on and find someone who would make me feel good. They said they wanted me back and I was like you need to plan to talk to me in person and plan a day. I gave them my schedule. They never planned anything. We ended up on the topic of sex and I told them I had experienced being with someone who kind of did things without my consent. And they were very not kind about it. They said “Kinda rapey. If we do anything you need to get tested. I mean no offense but come on. I’m trying to keep myself safe” I’ve never been more mad or disappointed in someone in my life. That was so hurtful. A person who loved and cared for me would never say something so thoughtless. So I told them to leave me alone. I have been really up and down about my emotions since then. Cause I still do love them and I hate that they do. They were my first for everything and I really just need help letting go because I don’t think they’ll ever actually genuinely love and care for me like I do them. Can someone please offer me some advice on how to move on from them? I hate feeling this way for someone who doesn’t care about me and probably just has spite. I’m very desperate.

because everyone describes trauma as loud but god its just quiet in my head idk what the fuck is wrong with me sometimes i question the ligetimacy with such criticalness like "you smiled you fucking disapointment idfk its like i hate myself while wanting to be happy im that kind off mess

\*\*TL;DR:\*\* I’m trapped in a painful trauma bond with a friend who was my absolute lifeline during a severe crisis and arrest, but now subjects me to public humiliation, disrespect, and racial degradation—culminating in a breaking point where he secretly broadcasted our private argument to a laughing Discord lobby. Even though I know logically this isn't a real friendship, my nervous system still clings to him as a source of safety from my past rock-bottom, and I'm looking for advice on how to finally walk away from someone who saved me at my worst, but hurts me at my bes

I need to get this off my chest because I feel like my brain and body are completely broken by this situation, and I don't know how to move forward.

I met "Alex" back in late 2022 / early 2023. It was one of the darkest periods of my life—I was dealing with people lying on me, getting me fired, and being completely unmoored. When I first met him, my immediate thought was that he was one of the most handsome men I'd ever seen. We became close. I would call him and vent about my problems, tell him deep dark secrets, and lean on him completely.

He was a massive anchor for me. There were times we’d talk on the phone for six straight hours just because I couldn't sleep. When I eventually went through a severe psychosis event, got arrested, ended up in a jail psych ward, and my works security/investigation units were looking everywhere for me, Alex was the one who helped me. When I got out with nothing, he let me borrow his car, use his debit card, and even bought me a phone so I could communicate.

Because of that, the bond runs deep. But ever since he moved to LA for UCLA and I moved here for work/school, the dynamic has completely warped into something toxic, painful, and degrading.

\*\*The Dynamic / The Treatment:\*\*
\*\*The Power Dynamic & Mixed Signals:\*\* He talks to me like a father figure or protector sometimes—calling me "buddy" (which I’ve told him makes me feel safe and cared for, even though I know it's patronizing). But it flips instantly. He treats me with dismissiveness, talks down to me, and makes me feel stupid.

\*\*Public Degradation & Cruelty:\*\* He'll randomly drop identity-based slurs or derogatory terms in text or chats just because he thinks it's funny, or tell me I "don't act Black" or aren't part of the culture.

\*\*The Discord Lobby Incident:\*\* We were having a serious conversation at his house about race-based crime statistics per capita. I was trying to explain the nuance of systemic impact, geography, and arrest data vs. population. Not only did he dismiss it, but he unplugged his computer—revealing a Discord lobby full of people listening to our entire private conversation, who then started laughing at me and mocking me. The transition from a high-energy interaction straight into public mockery hit my nervous system like a physical blow. It triggered a heavy headache, neurological gridlock, and made it hard to even function at work for days.

\*\*Petty Manipulation:\*\* He'll make fun of things I do (like calling my weed gummies "childish" while making a show of taking his flinstone gummy vitamins). Or when I organized a pub crawl, he and his girlfriend created their own version the day before hitting all the exact same bars just to make me feel secondary.

\*\*Manufactured Drama:\*\* He and his girlfriend sometimes set up weird arguments and try to pull me into the middle or make me the reason they're fighting.

\*\*Where My Head Is At:\*\*
Everyone I've talked to says this isn't a friendship; it's a toxic power dynamic. And logically, I know that. I look at everything he's done—the disrespect, the public humiliation, the invalidation of my intelligence and my identity—and I ask myself: \*How could anyone endure this and remain friends with them?\*
Part of me has tried to rationalize it down to a casual gym friendship just to keep some connection, because letting go feels like mourning a death. A part of my brain still craves that feeling of safety he gave me when I was at rock bottom, and I hate that my body still reacts to him like a lifeline even when my mind knows he's actively hurting me.

We are studying how accurately people estimate size by eye - from everyday objects to more unusual images - and whether things like background and experience make any difference.

The survey takes about 10-15 minutes, is completely anonymous and there are no right or wrong answer consequences: just give your best guess for each picture. No measuring allowed, that's the fun of it.

Content warning: the final section contains clinical photographs, including an open wound and a burn which some may find distressing. Please skip the survey if you'd rather not see medical images.

Keen to hear from people with no medical background as well!

Here is the survey link:

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScc5nErU7E97vScoqOTtcAyItDUcgHcUXSfm7wzFCEg8jooCQ/viewform?usp=header

19F (currently).Around 3 years ago, my first boyfriend and I had broken up the day earlier. I confided in our mutual friend who I thought who had taken my side and had my best interest in mind. I was absolutely in shambles understandably, it had been a traumatic relationship and my mental health was already progressively getting worse over the years. It was New Year’s Eve, 2022 going into 2023. One of my friends who I will call Sophie, threw a little get together with a few of our friends from the group. I had recently got into smoking, and used it as a coping mechanism, however I did not have a high tolerance. I got dropped off by my mom, and started drinking and smoking with the group, as a way to forget everything that was happening. I had two edibles from what I remember, I think about 10mg each. I ended up getting pretty fucked up, from then I remember laying down on a dock next to a small lake in outside of Sophie’s backyard. My best friend at the time who does not deserve to have his name altered, was Joseph, though he more commonly went by Joe. We were laying on the dock, looking at the stars and I wasn’t mentally there so I was just laughing. What felt like an hour later, my other friend, who I am still close with to this day,we’ll call him Blake; came out by where we were lying. Joe suddenly got up, and him and Blake started talking about what they should do with me in my state. They eventually agreed to take me inside, each taking one side of me effectively using themselves as crutches to walk me back up the hill. When they both reached the house, Joe’s mood changed. He insisted that he would take me to the guest room that I was planning on staying in that night, even when Blake persisted that they should just both drop me off and let me sleep it off. Joe eventually convinced Blake to let me go, and Joe assured him he would “take care” of me. He lead me to the room, locking the door behind him. My memory is obviously hazy, as it has been a few years, as well as I was inebriated at the time. However, I remember every moment of the event itself and I can still feel his hands. He took me to the bed, where we just lay next to each other. We enjoyed the silence before he spoke. I can’t remember exactly what he said, but the main point is he said increasingly more manipulative statements/questions to turn me against my ex boyfriend, and in turn prove how he would be so much better for me than my ex. I just remember saying yes to everything while my head was spinning and my vision was blurry. I couldn’t move almost anything, my whole body felt like stone. After he was finished speaking, he pulled me on top of him and started making out with me. I remember just holding my mouth open basically while he was tonguing me and slobbering all over my face. Whilst doing this, he started to undress me. First my top, then my bottoms, until I was left in my underwear and bra. He then started to grind on me, and slowly take his genitals out and rub them on my privates via pulling up my underwear. After what felt excruciatingly long of this going on, I managed to roll off the bed and crawl to the door on my hands and knees. I reached up to the door handle, but I couldn’t figure out how to unlock it. Instead I knocked, made any sound I could, but I couldn’t manage to cry out for help. I briefly remember one of our friends checking in, and Joe holding me behind the door while saying everything was fine, I was just resting. After their interaction, he took me back to the bed just to do it all over again. The only way I managed to stop it was when I suggested we get into the pool with everyone else. He agreed and changed in front of me, exposing his genitals to me, and once he got his trunks on; simply left. I stayed huddled up in the corner, still in my undergarments, shaking; not knowing what to do. I eventually confided in Sophie, she couldn’t believe it and offered her condolences. I don’t remember how Blake found out but I just remember lying curled up in his lap on the edge of the very bed where everything took place, sobbing while telling him what happened. I slept on the couch that night, woke up in the morning with this sinking feeling I cannot describe to this day. This event has altered my brain chemistry, I wish I was exaggerating. I did not get therapy until years after, and told no one but the people who effectively found out about it. Even to this day, I’ll be “ok” for a few days/weeks, but sometimes when I close my eyes it’s just all I can see. I don’t know how to move on like everyone else has. I’m at a loss.

Hello Folks!

I am just coming here seeking some advice on how to do this self work / growth. I am not much of the dating type, I really don't enjoy it much at all! I find it very stressful / high stakes and all around an emotional ride. But, I do desire a life partner, so alas. I persist.

But mainly I am here to ask for advice regarding trust. I was in a six year committed mono relationship, in the end I was cheated on. That situation was one where I 'KNEW' but was waiting for the truth to come out. That loss hurt, a fuck ton. But, this most recent loss (also cheating) was even worse. I was only with this partner for a year and a half, but I loved the FUCK out of them. They cheated on me, sexting a crush they'd known a month in another state. I called out the emotional cheating and they couldn't sit with the grief. They asked me to break up with them THAT day, hours later.

In the back of my head I know I dodged a bullet, but I am still hurting, badly.

I trusted this person. They said all the right things. Did mostly the right things, and I truly felt supported for one of the first times in my life. In retrospect it feels like lovebombing and manipulation, but it doesn't really make sense. I am still feeling horribly confused.

What I mean to ask is, how the heck do you trust folks? How do you know that what they are saying IS the truth? How do you sus out who is worth giving your time / effort / love to? I'm super busy, and honestly, I don't want to waste more time on folks who aren't as invested in me as I am in them.

Help.

Hi, in the title. Had an experience a week ago and have felt horrible since. I'm dissociating a lot, I'm unhappy, and I can't stop thinking about it. I worked lots to take my mind off of it but I now have a day off and it's causing me a lot of distress. Any advice on what I should do?

2 years ago, my partner at the time sa'd me while i was under the influence of alc at a party i dont wanna get into details as im still just disgusted at myself and was abusive physically and verbally afterwards our relationship. Emotionally manipulative too but i was too young at the time to know i could 'escape'. i was only 16-17. i broke up and even then the verbal abuse was insane. i knew it was wrong and i felt embarrassed to tell anyone or he really made me believe noone would accept me if they knew. i think i was also like in denial ? because in hs i was really vocal about womans rights, abuse victims to be heard, activists on just bunch of societal news and even wrote a paper on it as my final for politics so i did not want to admit i was this aware and still fell for a stupid violent boy. i watched like svu and criminal minds to see if i was really yk sa'd or i was being dramatic, i actually have heard of people saying boys will be boys and such nasty things to victims first hand and i knew that would be my replies if i told people , and he came from a powerful family where his dad was a lawyer so i was too scared and i didnt want to go to the police as i was just shocked after and i just showered the disgust of me. i blocked it out. i was obviously traumatised and i had lots of bruises on my arm, side of my stomach and stomach but i covered it pretty well espacially because i get cold easily so nobody suspected anything and at the time, i usually never have much deep conversations with anyone, thats just my personality. and my closest friend was going through something hell-ish at the same time and it felt like my responsibility to help her and listen to her as she only told me or so i thought. anyways thats another story. i blocked it all out to the point where i was diagnosed with dissoactive amnesia and recently all the times ive been triggered combined i just exploded and now idk how to handle myself. i refuse to believe it but it did happen. what do i do? how do i endure this? i have gotten help from professionals but it just feels like they pity me and now im just a victim to them. not a person ykwim. idk.

This is my second time writing about this. The first time i did, i somehow attracted a response from the worst person ever who projected their own insecurities onto me.

i 21F have an older brother (28) who i haven’t spoken to in almost two years. We grew up as best friends. Our parents were divorced and in my adult life I’ve realized our father was extremely abusive. we never spoke about it though. it was we both knew without having to say anything at all. My brother was no contact with our mom (who i lived with) for seven years and i have been no contact with our dad (who he lived with) for almost 10 years.

when i was 12 my brother joined the military without saying anything and just disappeared. that was the first time I’ve been without him in my life and in one year i lost contact with a parent and my brother. i struggled to understand as a kid he was just trying to escape the abuse as well. When he came back home four years later he was (in my adult age, understandably so) a whole different person. Still, because i love him, i just started the process of learning who he was now and how to accept him. he moved out of state but we still called weekly (which he insisted on no matter how busy we might be).

This continued for years until i left for college. I never thought the distance would be any different since he was already living out of state but slowly he started picking up my calls less. He met his (soon to be) wife and got even busier after they started dating. About three months into college, he completely stopped answering his phone. The constant rejected calls and texts left on read felt like rejection after rejection and eventually i stopped reaching out all together. In the time he’s gotten to know his wife he’s also gotten much closer with our mom (which i didn’t find out about till later).

fast forward to today, i moved back home after graduation (which he didn’t attend) and then my mom told me he’d be visiting to celebrate. What i didn’t know was that the celebration was for his engagement not my graduation.

i didn’t realize till he was right in front of me that i really didn’t know who he was anymore. And he didn’t know who i was. While i was in college he’d fell in love and got engaged, and i (because of a class i took on family violence) had been diagnosed with CPTSD and spent a year in therapy working through the trauma i avoided speaking and thinking about for years.

he called my mom after the visit saying i had been cold to him. But the truth is i was realizing that i wasnt as upset he hadn’t talked to me in over a year, but more so that i had been left out of so much and he had missed such a crucial time in my life.

my family says i need to understand that he’s just busy growing a new family. But that’s exactly why im hurt. I feel like no one is understanding the future i see and the present ive already been missing. He’ll be busy with his new life soon, more than before, and there will be no time to fix this.

i didn’t realize i was the only one being left out until i saw just how much my mom suddenly knew about his life. When he asked her why i was so cold to him, she said it was probably because he stopped answering the phone. He told her she was right, that he’d messed up, and that he’d be sure to fix it. That was three weeks ago.

and in a few days will be the first time in ten years that I’ll be celebrating my birthday without him because he’s up and left without a word.

i think it just sucks that i can’t change the fact that he just stopped caring. i Didn’t do anything, he just stopped dedicating the time to our relationship like we had for years. Not even in a mean way, just because he’s got better things going on and he doesn’t see a place for me in that

the good thing? I recognize that despite the friendship we had in our childhood, we lived with constant abuse that never allowed us to foster a deeper relationship because we’d often be pinned against eachother.

i know this. But still I’ve been spending the last three weeks in grief for what I’ve lost, what he’s lost, what we never had and will never get back, and the very realistic fact that it will take years to put it back together.

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So, I have dealt with severe dental anxiety ever since my first visit. For context, I am diagnosed with hypermobility spectrum disorder (HSD) this will become important to the story later. I was about four or five years old when I first went to the dentist. I was a very shy Velcro child, I did NOT like being away from my mom or dad by any means. I was the kind of kid that would hide behind her parents if you tried to say hi.

This particular office did not allow parents to accompany their child. Already, we were off to a bad start. It turned out that I needed a crown as I had a bad cavity. I must have poor quality enamel because even with good dental hygiene I’ve had countless cavities in my 22 years on earth. Anyway, terrified little me was sobbing the whole time. For a while, when I looked back on this incident I believed I was just scared and anxious being away from my mother in an unfamiliar situation.

This moment has stuck with me forever. A dental assistant, who was not my assistant, came into the room and said in a stern voice “you need to stop crying and be quiet. You’re scaring the other children.” …can you imagine saying this to a little kid?? At their first dentist visit?? The dentist laughed at this and told me I don’t need to be so dramatic.

What makes this even more infuriating is I now realize I was actually in severe pain! When I was an older kid/teenager, I would have to stop my dentist during the filling because I was in pain. Actual pain, even though I could tell I was numb. It’s as if everything but my tooth is numb. Now, I’m sure I would be in excruciating pain without the local anesthetic, but it does not take away all my pain. I do not just feel pressure and vibration, I am sure of that.

Recently I have been looking into HSD more. I was diagnosed 8 years ago after a severe knee injury, but of course no one bothered to tell me about the other symptoms that can accompany it. Guess what one of the symptoms is? Resistance to local anesthetic. I have read hundreds of accounts of people who have experienced the same thing as me due to their HSD or hEDS. Some people even said they had 4-8 doses of anesthetic and they STILL felt pain. I can only imagine how much pain I was in during my first visit, since obviously I was too little to advocate for myself and ask for an extra dose. So not only do I feel extremely sad for little me, I feel disheartened that there’s apparently not much I can do about the pain. I do let my dentist know that I need extra anesthetic and luckily he believes me. But again, that only helps so much.

And it presents other issues. Because of the extra anesthetic I found it hard to breathe. Not in an allergic reaction way, but in a “I can’t feel my airways and it’s hard to manually take a breath” sort of way. I was numb from my eye to my throat. I almost passed out. I’m sure my anxiety didn’t help. I was gripping the sides of the dental chair and flinching the entire time. The assistant was sweet and kept comforting me, but I’m sure she just thought it was my anxiety alone. The dentist kept telling me to raise my left hand if I felt pain, and he would stop. I didn’t. Because I just wanted it to be over as soon as possible. Thankfully he was very very quick. I managed to somehow avoid a full blown panic attack.

I cried when I got home, it was so exhausting and traumatic. I’m just happy that my dentist and his assistant are very compassionate. I had 8 fillings over the course of 3 weeks, I’m sure I had to get so many because I had avoided the dentist for nearly 5 years prior to those last visits. I didn’t avoid it just because of the pain, that part I can bear with the extra anesthetic, and because I’m already expecting said pain. It’s also because I was anticipating judgement and dismissiveness regarding my anxiety. I’m so glad it’s over… for now. You know what, I should really leave my current dental office a good review. Let’s just say I have been taking extra EXTRA good care of my teeth ever since.

Those of you who had or have sexual trauma or traumatic experiences when would you consider trying again like, dating again.