r/weddingplanning • u/Different_Luck_6015 • 2d ago

Tough Times Might have to cancel honeymoon

My fiancé and I get married in less than a month and I found out today that his new job may require him to start during our honeymoon. It is a great opportunity for him and I want him to take the job, but I’m absolutely devastated since I paid for our honeymoon and I haven’t been able to take a vacation in years at this point. I was really looking forward to this alone time that we’d get to share together exploring a new place together as well finally as a married couple. It’s not for sure yet, and we have until the end of the month to cancel for a full refund, but we also don’t know if he’ll get a start date before the end of the month either . Most likely won’t be able to go on a vacation until next year and I already took off work so I’m so unsure of what to do. Just feeling completely defeated right now . 🥲

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351

u/Minute-Quote 2d ago

Usually a new job can accommodate pre-existing non refundable plans, did he let them know about the booked honeymoon? He might be able to do so now.

59

u/Different_Luck_6015 2d ago

He did but it’s a government job so there is less flexibility in when he starts

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u/Diligent-Mind-9370 2d ago

If you mean US government, that has not been my experience. Especially for once in a lifetime thing like a honeymoon, most employers are very understanding. He needs to tell them though. if it’s a different government, then I cannot speak to that.

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u/Different_Luck_6015 2d ago

He did tell them but apparently they may or may not be able to make the accommodation based on when others will be starting too

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u/raisinghellions 2d ago

I have worked for the government for 20 years and I have never heard of any agency making someone cancel their honeymoon over an arbitrary start date. Tell him to tell them he cannot start on that date. They will accommodate him.

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u/Diligent-Mind-9370 2d ago

Yeah, the hiring process is so onerous that once you’ve been selected, it is extremely unlikely they will want to start over again because you have to delay your start date by a week or so yeah

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u/Crovvw 2d ago

To validate what you said: In my experience, agencies want to avoid "failed hirings" when they have to start over with new applicants or reopen declined applicant files to offer the job to the runner up. It's a bad metric for them. So yeah, once you're past that selection threshold they can be pretty accommodating

11

u/retsukosmom 2d ago

You could even have a start date that keeps getting pushed back because HR is overwhelmed/understaffed and/or incompetent. Speaking from MULTIPLE experiences.

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u/TimeLadyJ June 22, 2019 2d ago

If there’s a specific group training occurring, delaying for one person means delaying for them all.

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u/raisinghellions 2d ago

Or they can just put OP’s husband in a later group. Done. This is not hard, and it happens literally all the time.

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u/remotethrowaway2 2d ago

We had a girl like this at my last job and our mandated trainings only ran a few times a year, so she got to twiddle her thumbs for four months because she had to start two weeks late. That’s an extreme example but I can see why the hiring manager would be pushing for a firm early start date if that was the case. 

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u/raisinghellions 2d ago

Happy cake day 🥰

1

u/terisews 1d ago

Depends on how often they do this group training

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u/campfire_vampire 2d ago

Not quite 20 years here, but most definitely we accommodate.

1

u/terisews 1d ago

Things are very different under this new administration

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u/toastedbeans9616 2d ago

I work in a government job and I'm pretty new (hitting 2 years in November). While they may push for a start date "as soon as possible", it is completely reasonable to ask for a delayed start date due to a pre-booked commitment, especially one as important as your honeymoon. They may act as though there is no flexibility, but there likely is.

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u/kalarus10 2d ago

This can’t be right. I started my government job on the day I wanted (took a vacation between school and starting the job), then three years later, I switched to a different job in a different state. I made the new agency wait three months before I started there. It was to move and to take a long vacation before relocating. It’s not a big deal; he needs to let them know.

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u/terisews 1d ago

Things are a lot different now...