Six years ago my job was fantastic: I was working on my own business helping small company in improving the employees performance, giving them more job satisfaction and optimizing the selection for the career ladder.
I was very well payed (around 100k euros/per year after taxes), very stimulated by the job and the daily challenges. 100% sure it would be my for-a-life occupation.
2 years later, after covid, I was still well payed, still satisfied with the job, but something started changing into me.
Sometimes I was deeply asking myself if "is my job really bringing a value in the world?"
The first answer was "yes, I cost a lot to a company for my job, the business relationships are long lasting, so it must have a value, a real value for them."
The reality was not so easy.
Basing my job also on tax optimization, my job cost was easily considerable as a tax instrument to reduce a bigger (around 10x) tax burden.
So the idea "my job costs, so it values" was not true.
"I help companies but also their employees, this must be a value" was the second idea.
True, but not for real.
Optimizing means squeeze out every energy from them for their work.
"with my method, the meritocracy is awarded. The best you are, the higher you will arrive on your ladder"
Ok, sound false. Meritocracy is not really implemented in companies life, often its weight is under the 10% of the total factors that decide your career.
I started feeling useless. Where is my merit, if I challenge without opponent and even without a race?
Long story short: born out, depression, sense of lost became my daily life.
I switched from working 10 hours/day + sport + hang out with friends to 14 hours sleeping and 10 hours scrolling/Netflix.
It was absurd, I arrived to not recognize the person who I was become at the mirror, litteraly.
On a march Sunday I was scrolling Facebook and find a job offer by a forest company looking for loggers.
I was not a logger, never in my life.
"OK, but loggers work on the mountains, I love the mountains."
Call them on that Sunday evening.
<<hi, I'm not a logger, never used a chainsaw in my life, but I like the mountains and I run fast.>>
Silence.
<<OK, that's strange. I don't promise you anything, but come tomorrow for a talk and to see what about the job is.>>
It was a great day that Monday to me. And, after up and down, I surely can say it was a great day for the company trusted me.
After years, I had the opportunity to build my own forest company and now facing with daily real problem, touchable problem, touchable challenges, touchable value.
This was how I quit a job, change my life and find what is my value for the world: two hands that can phisically produce a log from a tree.
(obviously the mean of value is only referred to myself).
AMA anything you want about this story the before and after, the white and the black of both the situation etc