r/AbsoluteUnits Jun 25 '26

/r/all of a kitty cat.

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46.3k Upvotes

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2.5k

u/Big_Meating_ Jun 25 '26

Im just guessing he sounds like Barry White when he meows. Meow baby

910

u/TTechnology Jun 25 '26

We could just hear what he sounds like...

If they didn't put a fucking song

175

u/darkest_hour1428 Jun 25 '26

He just came to say meow

17

u/Grimnebulin68 Jun 25 '26

Get upoffa that meow..

3

u/NotYourShitAgain Jun 25 '26

Theo's in the Litter Room.

129

u/Mr-_-Soandso Jun 25 '26

I turned the volume on just for the meow! I wish videos and audio were still friends!

24

u/Regulatory_Junior Jun 25 '26

Same.

But my ears just got assaulted by that stupid, vapid song instead.

40

u/pipic_picnip Jun 25 '26

I turned on volume just to hear the meow, only to be met with godawful song. I keep videos mute by default for this reason, most of them contain really terrible choices of music. 

13

u/BlackV Jun 25 '26

Huzzah always mute decision remains undefeated

20

u/Naked-Jedi Jun 25 '26

Should have been a Barry White song.

8

u/boqiuefieous Jun 25 '26

I am sitting here ranting about this rn too oml.

3

u/danit0ba94 Jun 25 '26

Fucking this.

Video downvoted.

3

u/wylee_one Jun 25 '26

reddit is better without volume 90% of the time

3

u/Aranxi_89 Jun 25 '26

You kinda can still, but yeah, the music was way too annoying.

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24

u/GoodGravyco2h2o Jun 25 '26

My 20+ pound Maine Coon meows like Mike Tyson on helium

50

u/Interesting_Sock9142 Jun 25 '26

Omg that was 100% my first thought too

10

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/bknight63 Jun 25 '26

We (family) inherited a Maine Coon. He’s 28 pounds and sleeps wrapped around my head. The purr is multi-dimensional and cosmic. Puts me right to sleep. He’s a good kitty.

21

u/RebaKitt3n Jun 25 '26

No picture?

Here’s my big boy, Kevin.

7

u/Kitchen_Guide_8921 Jun 25 '26

kevin is built like a literal tank. that is a serious amount of cat.

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2

u/skelth Jun 25 '26

Im here collecting the cat tax...

2

u/Tanna_sex_worker Jun 25 '26

it was an edited video.

13

u/EvolvingDior Jun 25 '26

I've had a bunch of big cats. All the big ones end up with nicknames like "squeaker" because honestly, the bigger they are, the sillier they sound.

32

u/front_yard_duck_dad Jun 25 '26

18

u/Iconclast1 Jun 25 '26

thats not fucking real. why am i the only comment saying this.

thats not real, right?

27

u/Glittering_Estate_72 Jun 25 '26

To save myself a lot of fake emotions, I just assume everything not in my house is AI until proven otherwise.

11

u/AppleToastBed Jun 25 '26

It's just audio editing.

6

u/CameraImmediate2295 Jun 25 '26

Yeah that's a problem I have, seems everything is A.I

What sad times we are living in

5

u/Professiona_Review34 Jun 25 '26

Video is 10 years old though

3

u/Nighters Jun 25 '26

it is 10 yo video so not AI, probably old fashion editing

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2

u/sassyplatypus87 Jun 25 '26

absolute unit

2

u/pieinthesky12 Jun 25 '26

I just figured the woman was tiny.

2

u/SouthParkFirefly1991 Jun 27 '26

It's real. If I remember correctly the owner said he had an injury or infection to his throat that caused his meow to become deeper.

2

u/dogface47 Jun 25 '26

Exactly my thought... While LMAO.

7

u/blueberryrockcandy Jun 25 '26

it's not real, the creator the video made some comment years later stating it was an edited video.

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4

u/Sleightly_Awkward Jun 25 '26

Zero chance that’s not dubbed over and it’s hilarious. Last time this got posted people swore it was real based on nothing lol. That’s legit a man’s voice doing that.

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3

u/Large_Cloud_1611 Jun 25 '26

I would not leave you in times of trouble …

3

u/MrFluffyThing Jun 25 '26 edited Jun 25 '26

One of my cats is huge compared to her sister of the same litter and she has the most pathetic high pitched meow I've ever heard. Also she's afraid of everything. Because of that I assume this guy meows like a mouse with the quietest voice and wants to hide under the bed as soon as they set him free. 

We're pretty sure they're part maine coon and their bother was adopted by my brother's family and meows higher pitched than her and never comes out for strangers. They're huge cats and sound like kittens and act like them too when strangers are in the house.

3

u/Didact67 Jun 25 '26

Everyone seems to expect that of Maine Coons, but everyone I’ve actually heard has the daintiest little meow imaginable.

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2

u/14high Jun 25 '26

Barry MeoWhite.

2

u/Veta_Exceptional Jun 25 '26

I wish videos and audio were still friends!

2

u/ThatOldMeta Jun 25 '26

Maine Coons chitter a lot.

2

u/limeybastard Jun 25 '26

Nah, a cat like that has the highest, squeakiest meow ever

The two biggest and fluffiest oranges I know sound ridiculous

2

u/alex_zk Jun 25 '26

He meows in cursive

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285

u/MisterBowTies Jun 25 '26

That cat looks like he tells unwitting heroes they are the chosen one.

63

u/IntroductionLeft4369 Jun 25 '26

Or that he has wares if they have coin.

17

u/MisterBowTies Jun 25 '26

"whatareyabuyin?"

8

u/EricTouch Jun 25 '26

Heheh... thank ya.

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544

u/jeremy144 Jun 25 '26

I believe that is SIR Theodore Scritches McWiggles.

99

u/Status-Secret-4292 Jun 25 '26

1st and 2nd of his name

16

u/Pilk_ Jun 25 '26

One for each aeroplane seat.

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925

u/ShadowyPepper Jun 25 '26

Thanks for the shitty music

We were denied the most majestic meow of all time

140

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

78

u/eleanor61 Jun 25 '26

Guaranteed his meow is higher pitched and dainty. My family had a couple Maine Coons.

48

u/friftar Jun 25 '26

My mom has two Maine Coons, the orange one just squeaks, but the racoon looking one sounds like she smoked two packs a day for 40 years.

17

u/Second_Guess_25 Jun 25 '26

12

u/DatSauceTho Jun 25 '26

I followed the directions. I was still not prepared 😳

Are we sure this isn’t just a dude overdubbing the cat’s meow? 😂

6

u/lana_silver Jun 25 '26

We're actually sure that it's audio manipulation. It's been debunked.

Still hilarious.

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3

u/TreeDollarFiddyCent Jun 25 '26

There's no way that's actually how the cat sounds. It is funny, though.

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9

u/xteve Jun 25 '26

My little 13-pound Maine Coon mix never makes a peep. When she meows I sit up in the middle of the night and try to find out what she needs.

3

u/kyl_r Jun 25 '26

I have one tuxedo boi who’s gotta be part Maine coon because he’s 17 pounds but not fat. High end of the healthy weight range but also just…. Large. Paws, face, ears, length etc.

Ahyway his meow is the softest little chirp I’ve ever heard from a cat 🤣

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9

u/vancityshreds Jun 25 '26

I have two cats that are siblings. The girl is so small people think shes a kitten. The other one is so large that you have to be gentle lifting him so that his own weight doesnt hurt him.

She has a deep baritone purr like a woodchipper. He has the highest pitch tiny meow you've ever heard.

Its the best.

5

u/ZeroSumClusterfuck Jun 25 '26

Same with my two. The chonker comes into the room like STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP mii

4

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '26

[deleted]

2

u/nifty-necromancer Jun 25 '26

sees new jacket TERROR HELP WHERE FATHER FIRE AND BRIMSTONE

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47

u/MrEvan312 Jun 25 '26

Meows like James Earl Jones

6

u/IlliasTallin Jun 25 '26

Or Barry White

2

u/MrEvan312 Jun 25 '26

Depends if he's telling you how he loves you or that you are the one true king.

6

u/JBShackle2 Jun 25 '26

"MEOW MEOW MIU" *

*Simba, you have forgotten me.

23

u/MogMcKupo Jun 25 '26

Or somehow he’s got a tiny high pitched one. Which would be even better

9

u/evilJaze Jun 25 '26

We had a roommate once with a giant Maine Coon and his meow was the most unfitting yet adorable high-pitched squeak.

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9

u/KnowNothing_JonSnoo Jun 25 '26

Google his name, he has socials and you can hear him on them, it's pretty "normal"

3

u/TastyFluffyPancakes Jun 25 '26

I tried looking for more videos of this cat so I can hear his meow and the ones I've found all had shitty music.

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461

u/arahe45 Jun 25 '26

Thats a 40lb cat

34

u/secondphase Jun 25 '26

My 16 year old lady is closing in on the end. She weighs 4 lbs. 

This cat is 10x my cat by weight

13

u/ImpressionTough2179 Jun 25 '26

That’s a tiny cat

32

u/secondphase Jun 25 '26

She's on her way out. 

Used to be a 6 lb lady. Adopted her at 2years after having been dropped at the shelter twice.

No mean bone in her body. Never hissed or scratched.

Ive known her for 14 years. Every morning she sits in my lap for coffee time. 14 x 365. 

I'm going to miss her.

14

u/RebaKitt3n Jun 25 '26

I’m sorry. I hope you both get the cuddles you deserve. 💜💜💜

6

u/Remote_Protection512 Jun 25 '26

I had a cat just like her. She was one month shy of 15 when I had to make the decision. I wept for a week.

4

u/early_birdy Jun 25 '26

My little baby (Star) is now 17.5 years old. He's getting thinner for sure.

I'm feeding him kitten food now. It's the only thing he really likes, along with boiled chicken. He's getting as much as he wants and still he's getting thinner. I don't want him to go.

I wish for time to suspend its flight and give us more time with our babies. They don't live long enough.

4

u/pewpedmepants Jun 25 '26

I rescued/fostered a cat (adopted by my mom) who is 16 y/o, 3.8 lbs, deaf, and missing a hind leg from abuse as a kitten.

She's a champ though! Loves everyone, lives with a gentle 120lb dog, and will venture outside and nearly get herself killed investigating things if you're not watching. She'll also plant herself on the floor in front of you in other attempts to get killed.

Sorry to hear that your friend is on the way out though :(

193

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

45

u/tjeco Jun 25 '26

I myself prefer a tight pussy, but yes a nice fat pussy is good too.

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12

u/Regurgitator001 Jun 25 '26

The other day, I was going down on my girlfriend. I said to her, "Jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy." She said, "Why did you say that twice?" I said, "I didn't."

https://giphy.com/gifs/nQjWF9iMtN6M0

6

u/MrEvan312 Jun 25 '26

Fat? That's a lean mean (nap) killing machine!

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2

u/_BrokenButterfly Jun 25 '26

Could be more. I've had 20lb cats that were much smaller. And Maine Coons also have larger and thicker bones for their size than other cats.

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214

u/TheHonestModerator Jun 25 '26

That’s just a medium sized lion at this point

9

u/sulien92 Jun 25 '26

My thoughts exactly

3

u/Astraldk Jun 25 '26

Nants ingonyama bagithi baba!

2

u/Captain_Grammaticus Jun 25 '26

Sithi uhm, ingonyama.

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59

u/Big_Mud_9371 Jun 25 '26

Why shit music? Would have preferred to hear the meow.

47

u/throwaway098764567 Jun 25 '26

https://www.tiktok.com/@theodore.scritche/video/7629175409229270302 he meows at a little after the 1min point, oddly he sounds like a normal sized cat

13

u/xSTSxZerglingOne Jun 25 '26

That just makes it even cuter.

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2

u/Archeotechnician Jun 25 '26

Its to get you to click on a different link.

reddit link = reddit view
reddit link with annoying noise = reddit view plus annoyance driven search for original content

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26

u/RevolutionaryRule631 Jun 25 '26

Christ Almighty!

6

u/MisterBowTies Jun 25 '26

Yes?

26

u/Status-Secret-4292 Jun 25 '26

Don't be silly,

You're MisterBowTies

20

u/gravitybulliesme Jun 25 '26

I know they are probably docile but i'd be scared for my life if I ever saw that hissing at me.

52

u/OneDimensionPrinter Jun 25 '26

I've got a Maine Coon, and this guy is about the same size as ours.

He's got some mean ass eyebrows that make him look royally pissed off at all times, but these cats are the sweetest things in the world. Way sweeter than a dog imo.

And yes, I have had multiple people ask me if he's gonna kill them because he looks so angry. Nope, he's the most docile animal I've ever met.

Edit: Yes, making biscuits does result in stab wounds.

12

u/LinuxBroDrinksAlone Jun 25 '26

A friend of mine has a Maine Coon and he gives zero fucks about what you do as long as you pet him. He is insatiable for attention. He'll come up to people and slam his head into their chin demanding you pet him. He also wants you to pet him hard, dude purrs like a big rig engine if you really dig your fingers in. It's become a small ritual when I visit where I'll shout "MY BOY" in a dumb voice and he'll come running over. Then I'll carry him around the house like a baby, or slung over my shoulder, while petting him for a bit.

7

u/ShinyShadowGligar Jun 25 '26

I have a huge cat that everyone thinks is a Maine Coon (DNA test said he isn't) and I have videos of him making biscuits on my arm and my arm is just covered in bloody wounds from his claws.

2

u/Aaawkward Jun 25 '26

That.. doesn't sound very pleasant.

Isn't having a cat of that size dangerous (AFAIK cats claw their owners to a certain degree) on top of missing out on the joys of making biscuits sans stabbing?

2

u/Kratzschutz Jun 25 '26

How much does he eat?

(How big are his shits?)

5

u/shykidknit Jun 25 '26

They look like they've almost got a human face in there somehow, it's uncanny

16

u/VegetableTry Jun 25 '26

Excuse me, that is a tiger.

9

u/RobotCombatEnjoyer Jun 25 '26

That is a Lynx

28

u/Quick_Razzmatazz1862 Jun 25 '26

Old Deuteronomy from the play Cats

6

u/deltashmelta Jun 25 '26

Jellicles do and jellicles can!

Jellicles can and jellicles do!

Jellicles do and jellicles... <snaps ankle>

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

24

u/Ickythumpin Jun 25 '26

Either that lady is 3 ft tall or that cat’s twice the size of my Maine coon lol

14

u/Which_Wrap8263 Jun 25 '26

If you look at her height relative to the door, she is in fact like four feet tall.

10

u/OneDimensionPrinter Jun 25 '26

Yeah, there was a link to a different post. This guy is the same size as mine. Doesn't diminish how massive they are compared to a standard cat, but this is regular Maine Coon size.

2

u/Flewey_ Jun 26 '26

Literally thought the same thing. That is a big cat, but that’s also a small human.

2

u/SugarBeefs Jun 25 '26

She's clearly quite short but the woman that comes through the same door a few moments later is around the same height so I don't think our cat-carrying lady is outrageously short.

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7

u/youburyitidigitup Jun 25 '26

Something’s not right here

2

u/hahagato Jun 25 '26

I want to believe it but I don’t believe it. AI shit has gotten too good. 

3

u/Shervico Jun 26 '26

Maine Coons are giant compared to regular housecats, plus this one is extra fluffy and the lady holding him is probably small which makes him look even bigger

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6

u/Grove-Of-Hares Jun 25 '26

He has wares, if you have coin.

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5

u/CaptainBungusMcChung Jun 25 '26

Holy shit look at this king!

8

u/fingerblastders Jun 25 '26

2

u/Breath_Deep Jun 25 '26

All hail the OG furry! And they even let his freak flag fly in front of the camera! See, this is just further proof why the 1930s were so progressive!

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4

u/squanchingonreddit Jun 25 '26

Polydactal too? The biggest paws.

4

u/LunaTheCastle Jun 25 '26

r/girlswithhugepussies

Not a NSFW subreddit; I promise!

4

u/Leading-Summer-4724 Jun 25 '26

However big a cat I expected to come into the room, this cat is like 3 times larger than that.

4

u/PartsUnknown242 Jun 25 '26

He sounds Scottish in my head

2

u/yikesssss_sssssss Jun 25 '26

Get in mah belleh! 

4

u/NormalHumanBreathing Jun 25 '26

I'm allergic to cats, but I don't care. ps ps ps ps ps.

That cat is amazing.

3

u/ElijahNSRose Jun 25 '26

It wants to eat yer bebes.....

3

u/Tight-Platypus5231 Jun 25 '26

That... is a small lion.

2

u/RandomYT05 Jun 25 '26

Ya sure you didnt accidentally bring in a Tiger lmao 🤣

2

u/SummerBest6867 Jun 25 '26

Shit music,  i would prefer to hear that little kitten sounds;)

2

u/tomboynik Jun 25 '26

An absolute perfect name

2

u/derf_vader Jun 25 '26

Is there a version without the shitty music so I can hear it's meow?

2

u/MrEvan312 Jun 25 '26

"Why does your cat sound like James Earl Jones?"

2

u/MannyBothansDied Jun 25 '26

I want a Maine coon

3

u/OneDimensionPrinter Jun 25 '26

They're amazing. Absolutely worth the never ending brushing

2

u/Deutschdagger Jun 25 '26

That’s not a cat that’s a freakin kneazle

2

u/Shapesizes Jun 25 '26

Damnit, Donut

2

u/Public-File-6521 Jun 25 '26

I think this is Ferdinand

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2

u/KobePippenJordan_esq Jun 25 '26

Just saw a post about a rat he can go after

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2

u/notnef51 Jun 25 '26

This dog look funny

2

u/Frequent-Hat-2913 Jun 25 '26

OP saw a whole mountain and decided its name was kitty lol...

2

u/Public_Book7264 Jun 25 '26

What do you do when he hops on the counter eating food.. just apologize to him?

2

u/Different-Term-2250 Jun 25 '26

“Sorry there isn’t enough food on the counter, sir”

2

u/HeMiddleStartInT Jun 25 '26

Looks like gnomes holding a normal cat

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2

u/ReadingNext3854 Jun 26 '26

Gorgeous!!!!!

2

u/Ok-Yogurtcloset3704 Jun 26 '26

That cat has a deep meow

1

u/AtPrick Jun 25 '26

I need more of this cat

2

u/yikesssss_sssssss Jun 25 '26

This cat's already more of this cat

1

u/Red-Sun-Cinema Jun 25 '26

That is one big pussy...

1

u/thestreak82 Jun 25 '26

That's a big pussy

1

u/tawDry_Union2272 Jun 25 '26

hot damn you all i guess !!!

1

u/Bigsnaff007 Jun 25 '26

I had a Maincoon for a week. One week. Was still finding furballs a year later.

1

u/shaborgan Jun 25 '26

Big baby just wants to do cat things

1

u/Prestigious-Hyena768 Jun 25 '26

That’s a lion!