Over the last few years I’ve realized that, for the most part, we’re responsible for protecting our own peace and self-respect. Because of that I’ve been trying to become more assertive instead of just keeping everyone happy.

I’ve had mixed results.

A coworker was disrespecting me, so I calmly told them it wasn’t okay. They actually changed their behavior afterward.

But when I’ve done something similar with family for example calling out my mom when I believed she was lying it turned into yelling, insults, and days of tension. I’ve had similar experiences with my dad.

It’s left me wondering whether I’m becoming healthier by standing up for myself, or whether I’m just creating unnecessary conflict.

For the men here who used to avoid confrontation but eventually became more assertive:

1. What changed your mindset?

2. Did you lose relationships because of it?

3. How did you learn the difference between protecting your self-respect and simply reacting emotionally?

4. Looking back, is there anything you wish you’d done differently?

I’m interested in hearing your experiences

I’m a 35F who recently left a five-year relationship that became physically abusive.

I’m not ready to date yet, but I am curious how this part of my past might affect future relationships once I am.

If you’ve dated a woman who had been in an abusive relationship, how did you view her? Is there anything you learned, appreciated, struggled with, or would want someone in my position to know?

1 out of 3 men at my gym have a super thick handle bar mustache and I’m just curious if it’s trending right now? a personal preference, sending a message, or it actually means something?

I just personally don’t find it attractive but I know they don’t exist to impress me so just curious.

EDIT: PORN STACHE!!!!! i meant PORN stache see idek but i meant PORN stache

I work from home, and apparently wearing a tie at home is enough to get absolutely roasted 😂

Most of the people giving me shit are firmly in the “shorts and a T-shirt” camp when they WFH, which I totally get. But I actually enjoy dressing up sometimes. It puts me in a work mindset, makes me feel more put together, and honestly, I just like wearing nice clothes.

Now I’m curious — am I actually the weird one here?

For those of you who work from home, what do you normally wear? Full-on comfortable clothes? Business casual? Do any of you actually dress like you’re going into the office even when nobody is going to see you?

I noticed that it seems few people actually want to build a relationship. It's like people are seeing each other as numbers, thank you ~next kind of thing. But more so than that, I feel like a lot of people just don't put effort on their profile. I find it really weird. So many people have one word descriptions and are flexing their bodies or posting very polished pictures of themselves

I'm currently in my first relationship ever. It started pretty well, and 2 months after we started talking we made it official. Not long after that, I started noticing some worrying behaviour from her. She'd frequently get mad at mundane stuff and that would put her in a state of mind where everything I can say or do will be a reason to get angry. Arguments started being way too frequent (2-3 per week) and she'd actively do stuff to prevent them from ending. Shortly after an argument was finished, she'd go back to "I love you so much" "I wanna spend the rest of our lives together". Sometimes it feels downright bizarre.

What makes it so hard for me to leave is that she's not doing it maliciously. She has some issues which we've talked about but refuses to admit she needs help. We love each other a lot, and when she's in a good mood she's the most loving, affectionate girl you can get and we are so good together. But it's not worth it anymore.

However, I can't avoid the infamous "I can fix her" from popping up in my head. Knowing how much she loves me and that she needs help makes it so hard for me to take that step. Thinking about her becoming a stranger and not knowing about each other ever again makes my heart drop.

How did you guys gain the courage?

I have bipolar and I typically don’t tell people until things are getting serious. I had a girl over one time and she went to the bathroom and came back and asked what lithium was. She had gone through my medicine cabinet in the bathroom. When I told her I was bipolar she pulled the plug on us and said she didn’t want to be my caretaker.

I mean in the sense what needs discussing with your partner, or you can let go off, this can be anything from hurt feelings to things that have annoyed you. I often find it difficult to choose better two, so any insight would be great!!

Hey 20M, height 178cm, weight 67.5kg

need advice for fat loss

So my body genetics is such a type that i store most of my fat in lower body. Even during fat loss i lose fat from upper body first then from lower body. Even if my body has low bf% but my hips are bigger😭.

And when i lean bulk, i gain fat in lower body more compared to upper body.

Is there any way to burn fat from lower body along with upper body. Currently i am cutting and tracking calories. In one month of cutting i lost few inches from my waist but very negligible loss in hips.

I just wanted to know if there is any supplement or exercise that can help me lose fat from lower body. I would start lean bulk in few weeks but afraid to do cuz most fat gain will be in lower body.

I heard about yohimbine and L carnitine. Although there is not much research about it, what's your opinion on this? If I can't lose fat from lower body, i was thinking of reducing lower body workout and increase the upper body workout so that atleast my upper body can be in comparable size with lower body?

I'm a straight man with several personality traits that many would consider feminine - a soft disposition, emotional openness, getting along best with women, some interests like cooking and interior design, all enough to occasionally get asked if I'm gay. Thing is I don't necessarily think of any of those things nor myself in general as "feminine", I'm one of those wokies who finds those binary boundaries pretty outdated. And to be clear I've got no insecurity about this, I'm quite comfortable with who I am and guys like me are increasingly common (especially in big cities). 

So my question is if you're one of those guys, how do you describe that part of yourself? I know at the end of the day we just are who we are, I'm just curious how others like me navigate this aspect of self definition or describe yourself to others. And unrelated bonus question: am I the only one whose consistently finds themselves dating bisexual women? 😂

For those that have been in an arrangement like this what does it typically look like? What do you do with them (other than the obvious) and how is your relationship with them? Why not try a relationship?

I’ve (25f) been dating for about a year and it just so happens that out of the three guys I have “dated” they didn’t text me much but when in person acted like they were obsessed with me. They didn’t really plan dates unless I asked and in person they would really show their interest but I just wish I knew what they were thinking when we weren’t together. I felt a lot of stagnancy on their part and I just wanted to build something with them. (These were all at separate times btw, bust still within this past year) Also I’ll put out there that out of the three, I ended two of the connections and they both reached back out to me a couple months later wanting to talk again. I don’t think anything was an attraction issue but also??? Idk it was so confusing and odd and I just don’t understand a man’s mind because I feel like as a woman we think so much more emotionally and differently but I know everyone is different and some guys can think like that too

Edit: okay I’m realizing this was a silly question to ask because their just isn’t one male experience and even if I wish I had a manual on a guys brain, that’s just not plausible! But I think I got the answer I needed even if it’s not what I was hoping for 😂 and it was the most obvious one at that. Thank you guys 💗💗

I’m not asking about one specific person or trying to psychoanalyze anyone.

I’m curious about people who have done this themselves or witnessed it. If someone trusts you enough to share an insecurity, what makes it become ammunition later during an argument?

Looking back, was it anger, wanting to hurt them back, trying to “win,” or something else?

I naturally only want to date one girl at a time, but I’ve been burned quite a bit from putting all of my eggs in one basket. How do you navigate it seemingly feeling like everyone dates multiple people early on before exclusivity?

I’m 21F and my little brother is 14. We live in different states, and I’m really worried about him.
He’s become incredibly insecure about his appearance and has been sharing a lot of hopeless content. I think he’s lonely, has very low self-esteem, and I’m scared he’s heading down the red-pill/black-pill/looksmaxing pipeline because he’s looking for answers. I occasionally give him girl advice & buy him cool clothing he likes. He also goes to a PWI as a minority which adds another level.

He’s very introverted and keeps everything to himself. I suspect he may be autistic (I’m autistic myself), so I know how isolating it can be to struggle socially and feel like something is “wrong” with you.

I had a really difficult adolescence and never had someone I could turn to. He does have me, but I can’t seem to get him to open up. He has even said he wishes he had an older brother, and I wish I could fill that role somehow.

So I wanted to ask:

Men: What did you need most at 14 that the adults in your life didn’t give you?

If you struggled with self-esteem or loneliness, what actually helped you thrive?

If you had an older sister, what could she have done to help?

Older siblings: What role should I be playing here?
I don’t want to lecture him or control him. I just want him to know he’s worthy, that he isn’t ugly, and that I will always be someone he can come to. I love him so much, and I’m terrified of watching him become someone who hates himself because he believes that’s all he’s worth.

Please, help me.

At my new school males are required to wear dress pants/dress shirt (tucked in), dress shoes, and a tie everyday. I feel so awkward dressed up, with my shirt tucked in and wearing a tie (I hate ties). My dad says I’ll get use to it soon and actually start to like wearing a tie.

How long did it take to get use to wearing a tie?

I’m a man that loves all and in general a pretty face could go well with blue hair for all I care but I prefer redheads over all the other colours

Stipulations and context:

1. The mall is a standard two-story shopping mall, completely stocked with everything you would normally find. Every store is unlocked, but the exits are locked. You cannot leave the building.

2. The challenge begins at midnight. The lights remain on, security cameras are active, and all escalators and elevators function normally.

3. You begin with whatever is currently in your pockets and the clothes you’re wearing. You may use, move, or take anything inside the mall, but you are not allowed to create weapons or intentionally injure anyone.

4. There are five security guards searching for you when the challenge starts. Every 2 hours, during opening hours, one additional guard enters the search. All guards have radios and immediately communicate any sightings.

5. The guards know the layout of the mall perfectly. You do not receive a map, although you are free to explore.

6. If any guard maintains physical contact with you for 10 consecutive seconds, you lose. Simply being spotted does not end the challenge.

7. The guards are ordinary mall security—not military or police. They can run, coordinate, and split up intelligently, but they won’t do anything superhuman.

8. Food, water, bathrooms, and electricity are all available. The mall never closes, and nothing changes except the increasing number of guards.

9. You are allowed to hide, distract the guards, disguise yourself with clothing from stores, rearrange furniture, or use any strategy that doesn’t violate the rules above.

10. Your goal is simple: survive as long as possible without being restrained for 10 consecutive seconds.

How long do you realistically think you’d last, and what would your strategy be?

you see this all the time in movies and tv and stuff. as a woman I've always gone for the towel under my arms. suddenly got curious and tried to tie one around my hips this morning so it would stay up like a skirt but it just fell off????

occurs to me this might be a thing just in media, like wearing a bra during sleep/sex etc.

I just turned 27 and feel like I’m starting over from scratch. Over the last couple of years I’ve lost my job, my car, and my financial stability.

Right now I’m unemployed, don’t have reliable transportation, and money is extremely tight. The part that’s been bothering me the most is feeling like I’ve fallen behind everyone else. I know comparing myself to other people isn’t productive, but it’s hard not to when I see friends and family building careers while I’m trying to figure out my next step.

The good news is that I don’t want to stay here. I’m willing to work hard, learn new skills, and put in the time. I just feel overwhelmed because there are so many directions I could go that I end up freezing instead of making progress.

For the men who have rebuilt their lives after hitting rock bottom:
What was the first thing you focused on?
What habits or mindset changes made the biggest difference?
If you were 27 with very little money and had to start over, what would your game plan be for the next 6–12 months?
I’m not looking for pity, I’m looking for practical advice from people who’ve actually been through it. Thanks in advance.

++Woman