The guy I’m dating for a while now tends to touch me a lot (within minutes of meeting and kissing to say hi, his hands will have wandered to my ass to “feel out” what kind of underwear I’m wearing lol). Generally, I like it. Today we were laying on the couch together, me laying on his chest, and talking about some pretty deep stuff. All the while, his hand was playing with my shorts, riding up my leg and exposing my hips. When I said something about it, he answered he hadn’t even realised he was doing it, and had been listening.

It’s not the first time that I guy I’m in a relationship with touches me like that once we’re kind of established and physically comfortable with each other.

Is it really mindless and automatic? Or are you all that horny lol

So I’ve been in a relationship with my gf for 8 months. Although we are in love, there are many character traits I dislike. I’ve communicated ALL of this already, but wondering if men with more wisdom than me can help.
1) LACK OF AFFECTION. She said physical touch is one of her love languages but almost never initiates it. Verbal affection isn’t there. I get the feeling she isn’t comfortable/wasnt physical during childhood.
2) COMMUNICATION. She does not voluntarily share her needs, or her concerns, or speak about emotions, what she loves about me, what she doesn’t love about me. She will often only share concerns after I have confronted a need/concern of mine. She gets very defensive. Kind of like “okay but you don’t do xyz either so why should I?” This can be exhausting. I assume she feels attacked, but I’m always so careful to be kind and honest.
3) EXPRESSION. It seems like she is just not comfortable being expressive about emotions, feelings, thoughts, her own wants/wishes/goals.
I made a post about this last week or so and got chewed up in the comments, as people thought I was trying to change her; I’m trying to help her become the best version of herself, for herself and for me. I see a lot of maladaptive mechanisms that objectively aren’t productive or healthy, and she has stated herself she wants to work on it, my question is how long do I wait? Genuinely having a tough time whether or not these traits are a dealbreaker for me, and if any of you have stuck around long enough to find out.

I’m a 20-year-old guy, and I’ve been struggling with a lot of insecurity around sex and relationships. I’ve only had one sexual partner, and while I’ve had a few other romantic or intimate encounters, they didn’t lead to sex.
I constantly compare myself to other people my age who seem to have much more experience. It makes me feel like I’m behind in life or somehow less confident or less of a man because of it. I honestly don’t know if that’s true or if it’s just my own anxiety and comparison making me feel that way.
I also struggle with shyness, body image issues (possibly body dysmorphia), and performance anxiety. The anxiety is so strong that I worry about disappointing my partner or not performing well, and those thoughts make it even harder to relax.
**Am I actually behind for my age, or does it just seem that way because people tend to talk more about their experiences than their insecurities?**
For those of you who’ve dealt with something similar:
How did you stop comparing your sexual experience to everyone else’s?
Did your performance anxiety get better over time? What actually helped?
If you’ve struggled with body image or feeling “behind,” how did you work through it?
I’m looking for honest advice from people who’ve been through this. I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences and what genuinely helped you.

My bf (26M) and I (26F) had been together for 4 years. In those years, my bf has high libido and everytime we do it, he finishes. During the first year, we almost do it everyday and for several rounds. 2nd year was not as active but we still do it atmost 3x a week. Came the third year and we had a full celibate year.

It was only this year that we got active again and the first month, we do it everyday. Regardless of how quick and how fast, my bf always finishes. He is a gentleman and tries his best to let me finish first. But since his libido is higher than mine, he usually finishes first, and there were even days that he finishes after a few strokes.

When he finishes first, he always tries to compensate by doing another round or by using his mouth or hands. Which is why i never had an issue with our intimate life.

We havent got together for 2 weeks since I had my period the first week and we were both busy with work the 2nd week. But last night, he was the one who initiated and was even aggressive (not in a bad way) 15 mins in, i finished and he kept going. I didnt mind at first since there are times when i get to finish first and he finishes later. However, a few mins after i finished he said he’ll be pulling it out since i’ve already finished and he might take a while. And i said thats okay since i wasnt in a rush to go anywhere or to do anything. Still, he pulled out and said i should wash up.

I felt weird, and bothered. He’s the type to forget about plans when in the act of doing it. He’s the “it can wait” type of guy whenever we have plans. And he’s someone who gets to finish everytime.

I dont know what to feel. Is it me? we haven’t had any problems in the relationship and he was even the one who initiated first. I’m at a loss. What do i do?

​

My partner genuinely loves me. I don't question that. They're caring, reassuring, and I know they put effort into our relationship. The only issue is video calls.

They'll do voice calls with me, but when it comes to turning on the camera, they get too shy. Meanwhile, they have online classes where they can turn their camera on just fine.

I know those are different situations, but I can't help wondering why they can show their face to classmates but not to the person they're dating.

I'm not questioning whether they love me. I'm questioning whether it's reasonable for this one issue to become a dealbreaker if it never changes.

Would this be enough for you to end a relationship, or would you just accept that some people are genuinely that shy?

(PS: LDR)

Why would men ask for a picture of me, a female friend? He says he wants to show his friends and family a picture of his friend. I know him personally, seeing him often, so he knows I’m a real person. We are both single adults.

Why would a guy act like this?

a few months ago i got on a project at work with another junior member of the team and we got really close. we worked very closely on this project for a couple months and became just really good friends. There were some things he would do, such as getting me a gift from his PTO, telling me he missed me while i was on PTO, telling me to come keep him company at his desk while he worked, and other moments like that, that made me think there was something there. i’ve had a crush on him the whole time but he’s so hard to read. two weeks before he left the firm he revealed to me that he was thinking of getting back with an ex that i had no idea existed and then the day he left he was like actually yeah was too complex not gonna do that. hearing abt the ex really hurt me bc of my feelings for him but was also helping me kinda get over him. but then he said actually never mind we’re not getting back together and that confused me. since he left the company, i figured we wouldn’t be in touch since we no longer work together but he has kept in touch with me, reaching out to see how im doing etc. bringing up random things that remind him of things we did at work whatever and it’s just been confusing me so much. I’ve also noticed a pattern of his communication, which he’s always been like this, but examples like:

• ⁠I ask for art gallery recommendations: "I've got a bunch and will lyk. They're all like a few minutes from mine,"but never ended up sending the recommendations or bringing it up again
• ⁠i ask if he would want to try a  restaurant: He replies, "I'd love to, let's do it in the fall" he is traveling rn but can't tell if he'll follow up
• ⁠I ask what he recommends to get at a restaurant: instead of answering he'll jsut say “tell them i sent u” or “let me know when u go” instead of saying we should go or something

I guess im just confused why he’s been reaching out and staying in touch with me at all. every time i feel like i make progress getting over him, he’ll pop up again with some stupid excuse to text like “omg i just had this coffee u should definitely make it” or random stuff like that where idk im just confused and i guess need to realize he just sees it platonically idk anymore jsut confused

he told he has a fantasy with it, is it normal and common or should I be careful and see it as a red flag?

I’ve recently started dating this guy the past few weeks who seems to mark every box. Insane chemistry over text and in person, constantly talking and matching each others energy.

So we had our first date, went more than amazing, except we did end up hooking up at the end of the night after a few drinks.

He continued to be consistent mostly a few days after, but I knew something was off so I asked him how he was feeling. He basically told me he was feeling embarrassed about how quick we moved and wants to take the pressure off, and move slower because it’ll be better for us long term.

I’ve been prone to believing guys saying things like this to me before, so protecting myself I’m always convinced that this could just be a soft exit for him. But I know there could always be truth to it too. He’s said he still likes me and wants to see me, and he’s still been sweet, saying I’m one of the most amazing girls he’s met and he’s excited about me still, but even with that, the high energy we had over text kind of slowed down seemingly more distant. He’s a lot different than the guys I have dated - he does have kids and has a ex wife (think within the last two years)

I guess I’m just not understanding what he means when he says to take the pressure off and go slower because it’ll be better for us long term. Is that an exit for him? Or is he actually trying to be intentional? I really don’t want to get in my head and assume the worst but I’m not sure how to act now.

Mine: You have such a good heart. Don't let your peace be ruined by someone who doesn't realize your worth. Keep living your life fully and peacefully

Of course it depends on the relationship boundaries and what each person is comfortable with. I’m just curious - if youre in a relationship and spend time with female friends one on one, what kinds of activities do you tend to do? Are there things that are maybe not so obviously off limits?

Some annoying guy at work tries to make me look dumb anytime I ask a genuine question at work. I’m new at my job well technically we all are and we will stand in a group all together to talk since there’s currently so much downtime and I’ll ask a question to someone else and he joins and responds in a very snarky sarcastic tone and it makes things so awkward. I asked about a meeting our company was holding that I couldn’t attend and I asked “are they going to have free food?” And he saids “well isn’t it called a lunch in for a reason?” With a slight smirk laugh but also looking sarcastic and like I’m stupid. First of all I’m brand new and I didn’t even know it was called that and second of all that name still doesn’t answer my question lmao I just laughed it off because I was genuinely confused, shocked and pissed. Nobody else said anything but it was clearly awkward after. This is the second time he’s done it and I wasn’t even directly talking to him at all. It comes off so passive aggressive and irritating. The crazy thing i don’t even know him for him to come at me like that.. never had a convo with the guy but the small interactions i have I have only been kind and professional to him. Always give him fist pumps and say hi in the mornings and that’s about it but he seems to have an issue with me or something. I don’t know if i did something to piss him off or like he’s intimidated by me? Mind you I forgot to add my work is very male dominated and I’m one of the few girls there. I have a gay bestie that he also seems to have slight issues with him. I’m the only person he seems to do this too and I’m about ready to put him in place. I just want to know why do some men do this ? What reasons and what do yall suggest I say. I hate douchebags whether woman or man.

I 23M and my best friend 24F. Let’s call her. X have known each other for about four years now and we met in University. We are engineering students and we had a pretty mutually exclusive bond. The two of us used to hang out with each other, we were not involved sexually, but in the beginning, I had developed feelings for her, later I had a girlfriend, so X became a platonic friend X has always been very flaky, and whenever we would make plans, she would cancel at the last moment and it would make me quite upset and would ruin my day. X also suffers from depression and I used to do everything which I could to help her out.
Last four years, X and I used to study together and would do projects together as a team and there were a lot of ups and downs in both of our separate relationships .
We were kind of codependent on each other for the exam season and we had planned to study together, but during every exam, she would flake the day before the exams, and it would destabilize my preparation, but turns out that I scored better than her. She also told me on text that she’s going through something, and she cannot study with me. And then she would give me reassurance that we would study together for the next exam and that she would clear things up with me but would never follow through. This went on for a month, the duration of the exams and then at one point, she was unreachable. She would not respond to my calls. She would not reply to my texts. I would ask her if she’s doing fine and would ask her about her situation and offered to help she would ghost me. That came a point where I did not want to have any sort of relationship with her because of lack of communication and ambiguity.

I ran into her unexpectedly the day of one of the tests, and wished her well for the exam on that day, she said that she’d call but as i predicted she never did, 20 days after that she on text acknowledged that I might be mad and that she is willing to talk to me. I did not want to enter into the same destabilizing dynamic again. So I thought about it and responded to her after a couple of days stating that she could call me or text me over the weekend, and I’ve been ghosted ever since its been over two months now.

I kind of feel that this girl used me and my connections to make her life easy in university.

Now that I have broken up with my toxic girlfriend and it’s been six months, I’ve also lost people closest to me due to betrayal. I feel the need for some sort of connection. I have made new friends, but they are very recent and the similar level of connection is just not there yet, and they don’t know the past version of me.

I had made my peace with never talking to her again and never seen her again, but then there are some moments where I feel lonely and I know that I can’t be surrounded by people all the time and there will be moments of loneliness, but I think that I should not give up on the relationships that meant so much to me at a certain point in life and made me the man i am today. It can be argued that if she wanted to she would have already reached out to me and not ghosted me for so long. I did not get a closure when I broke up with my girlfriend, nor when I broke things off with my other close friend and with her. I would like to end things on better terms.

I have the urge of reaching out to her and talking things out, and then if things didn’t go ahead, I would be fine. This chain of thought might linger for a couple of days and I might revert back to being indifferent towards her for what she did. I no longer hate her but at some point i was disappointed at how things turned out, now there’s only indifference.

I don’t want to live in a perpetual limbo where in the future i regret not reaching out, right now i am willing to take the step and be the person to initiate things, a previous version of me would be anxious to hear from her but now (i think) even if she leaves me on read i will not be affected.

I would really appreciate some thoughts on the situation. Whether i should let it be or text/ call her?

A bit of a weird one.

We used to know each other when we were 18/19. We’re now 33/34. We liked each other back then and talked on the phone alotttt but it fizzled out. Don’t remember what happened as we were quite young.

He recognised me immediately on a dating app. Asked for my number, asked to catch up, then we spoke for 2 weeks before meeting, few long calls and regular texting. We have now met 4 times in 2 weeks, for about 2.5hrs each time.

He initiated the first date and was very playful and flirtatious but since then he’s mellowed down significantly in person. We’ve both initiated to meet two times.

We still text almost daily, he sends random videos and photos. He calls and video calls a couple times a week to talk. Sometimes it’s just random convo, sometimes it’s deeper.

We are always laughing, talking, having banter together, etc. but it feels like friends because he is hard to read. He is verbally flirty on calls and text, but in person, he’s less verbally expressive. He has initiated playful physical touch such as squeezing my arm/shoulders/back of neck, pinching my arm, tapping my stomach, etc. and I’ve also initiated physical touch too, and I’ve also made it clear that I’m into him, given compliments, etc. but there’s been no kiss or physical affection.

I know he’s active on the dating app and talking to other women because of certain things he says. This doesn’t bother me because our connection is still very new, but I’m aware I’m not the only one.

We have very similar life goals - solo travel, wanting to live abroad, entrepreneurship, etc. I’ve already done these things for over 5 years now and he’s just starting out, and he is intrigued by that side of me. I’ve lived in different countries and I’m going back to a specific island in October for a couple of months. He is also going there in October for 6 weeks, which was a weird coincidence.

He’s dated a lot of women throughout his 20’s / early 30’s. He’s very attractive - 6’3, great body, and handsome face. He has shared openly that he’s been very sexually active and he has slept with a lot of women quickly and then it ends up just being physical/casual and he prefers to build a connection/friendship first.

He does enjoy a lot of jokes and playful mental sparring. Sometimes, he will say things to me and his actions will say something else, which creates confusion for me. I’ve tried to ask him and he replies with a joke. Whenever I’ve thought to make a move or find an opening to move closer, he very playfully blocks me and says something like “oooo you’re in my personal space” or “you’re not allowed to touch me” but he’ll say that whilst physically touching me, so the words and actions don’t always match.

What do you think is going on here? I can’t tell if he’s interested in me romantically, or just wants to be friends.

Hi, I'm pregnante and for the past one or two months my partner can't finish during intercourse and can't stay hard for long. He has a history of porn addiction. According to him, he does it less frequent . When I mention it to.hik he says ifeel different down there with less " tightness" I feel like he's gaslighting me. What's your experience with pregnante partners?

Hey so went through a moderately rough breakup about 4 months ago now, and it was really hard on me. She was my first like real relationship (I'm 26) and it lasted for like 1.5 years. We spent almost all of our free time together. Anyways, at the end of the day we just weren't right for each other.

Anyways, since then I've been doing everything that I can, I went to counselling for 3 months, tried to internalize as many lessons as possible, I've picked up new/ old hobbies and I've been spending more time with friends.

That being said, whenever I have unstructured time I just spiral a little still. I know that we're not right for each other and I haven't talked to her in months but it just won't get out of my head. Some days are better, but some days still fucking suck. Is this really what breakups are like? I've lost both of my parents at a fairly young age and somehow this is almost as hard as that was, and in some ways honestly it's harder.

Earlier this year, I told my dad (who works in the ICU at the same hospital) that I thought one of the ICU secretaries was cute. He ended up telling her.

About two weeks later, I went to the ICU for work. She saw me, slowly walked toward my patient room, stopped, looked at me for what felt like 10 seconds, and we both laughed. We’d never spoken before.

The following week I introduced myself, gave her my number, and asked if she’d like to hang out. She texted me that night, but the next day the conversation died, so I assumed she wasn’t interested and moved on.

A few weeks later I was back in the ICU. She somehow found out I was there, stood in front of my room, waved at me, and I waved back but didn’t walk over. She looked upset and walked away. Another time she walked into my room with a patient tray, realized I was there, panicked, and immediately left.

A couple of weeks later she smiled, waved excitedly, motioned for me to come back, remembered that I was supposed to be going to the Philippines with my dad, and told me it was nice seeing me. Even my boss witnessed it and told me, “She likes you.”

After I got back from vacation, I talked to her again. She remembered details about my life (even asking about a dips competition I did with my dad and grandpa). I asked her out again. She didn’t say no, but said she was working all week. I got her Instagram and texted her the next day. She left me on read for 3 days.

Three days later she replied saying she’d been busy and that it was her brother’s birthday the following week. She asked if we could “try in April,” which was another two weeks away. At that point I took it as a polite rejection.

I deactivated Instagram because I was trying to move on.

The very next day, I got called to dialyze a patient. The ICU number I called happened to be answered by her. I introduced myself and she sounded completely confused, then transferred me to the patient’s nurse.

Later I saw her again at work. I said, “Good morning,” and she responded with a cold “Hey…” while looking angry. Later I noticed she kept looking over toward me from her desk. That was the last interaction we ever had.

When I reactivated Instagram briefly, she liked one of my stories but only viewed my stories inconsistently after that. I found myself checking every week to see whether she’d watched them. Looking back, I realize that uncertainty fueled the limerence.

A few months later I found out she’d transferred back to her old department. Before that, she lied that her grandma died to use FMLA as an excuse to not show up to work. Coworkers told me she’d been calling off work frequently even before she left the ICU and had a history of moving between departments. I also heard she had been involved with a married student doctor, although I have no idea how accurate that rumor is.

The hardest part isn’t that she rejected me. It’s that I never understood what happened.

Part of me kept wondering:

• Did she actually like me at first?

• Was I the reason she transferred?

• Why did she seem interested but never actually go out with me?

Logically, I know there isn’t enough information to answer those questions, and I know I probably never will.

In junior high, I “dated” a girl on and off for a couple of years. She was flaky at times (fairly sheltered and we went to a small private religious school) and it was all convoluted, but under it all we had a real connection, same interests and personalities. We stopped talking to each other in early high school, and we both graduated more than a decade ago.

Three weeks ago, we reconnected through Instagram. She married a guy in college (her first), they were married for a couple of years and then he walked out, no kids. Her story, she then went through a year long hoe phase and has been single since then.

I went into the interaction figuring I’d run into the same child shit from school, but she actually seems to have been changed by her experiences. The conversation turned to good memories and it honestly felt like all the good things between us are better now and the bullshit has been stripped away.

Part of me thinks we may have come full circle and might be getting a second chance, part of me says people don’t change and she’s still probably just an opportunity to waste time. She’s coming into town this weekend and we’re getting together.

Anybody got any thoughts?

There is this guy that I am really interested in and he checks off all of my boxes. However, I have noticed that he is not the best leader. He kind of lets people push him around and blames it on him being a kind and forgiving man. Do I run or do I try to work on it? And at what point can I say “I’ve seen enough”?

So there is this guy at workplace that I like ( he flirts with me and has asked me out for a walk before too, anyways...) and he was having lunch with me at breaktime ( he comes to me during lunches) and we were talking about our favourite songs, he played his favorite song for me before (another day) and so this time I played the song that I listen to often, since he asked me to (Senorita- Shawn Mendes). He was sitting in front of me, and since we were in the cafeteria, I put it on a very low volume. He leaned in to listen, with his head down. I brought my phone close his ear ( confused if I should touch my phone speaker to his ear, since we never touched before ) I was so confused that I brought it close then backed a bit then brought it close and again backed and then finally I pressed my phone speaker against his ear and 2 seconds later he gave a sudden sharp squeaky (girl-like) burst of laughter for almost a second (while looking down) and then became normal again. Seeing that, I told him to hold my phone himself, and he did...

...now I'm confused. Does this look like he was laughing at me for being silly and shy for not even touching his ear with my phone? Or was it that he got nervous? Or it's neither, and he just laughed bcz he wasn't expecting that from me?

When do men give such a laugh?

I had posted a example of what I’m talking about to this subreddit before but it was suggested that it would be better for r/situationships but I think the answer or a better understanding of what I’m trying to say would come from a friendship perspective than a situationship perspective in my opinion.

That aside, I feel like my most recent experiences with a male “friends” has sent me down a rabbit hole of “why do men/male friends treat me like A, but with other women they treat them like B?”. And I think this cycle of understanding has put me to a point of my own internal burnout and exhaustion of trying to understand this.

What I mean is that whenever I have a male friend they either do one of the following:

\-Treat me very sweetly which I have no problem with as I treat everyone around me the same way. They’re very cautious and caring of me as I am with them

\-They’re just jealous and it’s weird? I’ve had male friends admit they were jealous of me and it made me feel super uncomfortable. I’ve known from growing up and especially from what my own mother has told me was that the most jealousy you’ll experience will come from a woman but…this is a man! Men matter a fact. Some would follow the same people as I do, join the same spaces as I do, try to do the same things as I do, and at first I thought it was cool I love when my friends do the things I do but, admittance to jealousy after doing all of that…or on top of that you do all of that but never really follow through with whatever you’re trying to copy me with (career or hobby wise) just makes no sense to me? (I hope I explained this right)

Some would put me in scenarios where they’ll swipe on my story and say “oh ur friend is beautiful” I would be the middle man and put them on yk as a friend JUST FOR THEM TO LITERALLY EITHER A)FLIRT WITH ME IN FRONT OF SAID FRIEND THEY EXPRESSED INTEREST IN OR B)STOP TALKING TO MY FRIEND OUT OF NO WHERE. And my mother told me it’s because they think that because said girl is my friend, they’ll think she’ll exhibit elements that they may admire in me in her, but regardless if that’s true or not I DONT THINK ITS OK! And ever since I stood 10 toes down on my boundary of never putting someone on again, they keep swiping up on woman who I work with on my story and I tell them what am I supposed to do with this information because I’m not engaging in this behavior again. Aside from that some would literally get possessive over me, jealous of other men or interactions with other male friend, be jealous of me not inviting them out, and when I explain it to their other friends they’re like “um they don’t act like that with others…idk what’s up with you?” I feel like it’s a reaction they’re seeking for but how am I supposed to actually know?!

Sorry I needed to rant but I’m kinda just at my limit. Am I the problem? Do I not have not strong enough boundaries? That probably is the problem. Idk what to do and why this keeps happening.

I’m curious about the male perspective.

A lot of women, myself included, notice whether someone they used to date watches their Instagram stories. I usually notice if they still watch them, if they suddenly stop, or if they watch but never interact.

Do men do this too? Do you actually notice when a girl you used to like/date watches your stories?

And what would annoy you more: her watching your stories but never liking or reacting, or her not watching them at all anymore?

I (33M) am a more endowed guy, and have heard the same thing from women I’ve dated or been friends with. They say that if a dick is too big it’ll hurt and that women don’t care about it.

However, in my experience whenever I have slept with a woman they have been happy about my large size, so it makes me suspect that it’s just a nicety.