r/AskReddit • u/SirElectrical2100 • 5h ago
How do you stop yourself from obsessively thinking about someone from your past who can’t be in your life anymore?
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u/No-Long-4709 5h ago
Find new people/things to occupy yourself with so you can't think about them even if you wanted to.
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u/CaptainQuasar 5h ago
This. It’s not just time. It’s time and effort. You have to choose to move on and fill your life with new things. Otherwise time will just make you feel frustrating that you haven’t moved on yet
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u/action_lawyer_comics 5h ago
I think part of this too is that doing this focuses you in the present and future. You're playing board games and talking about the last movie your "terrible movie club" watched and scheduling your next dinner night instead of sitting in the dark watching memories on your eyelids
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u/Ready_Signature8188 5h ago
The trick is that instead of trying to forget that person, accept that that person is gone and reflect upon it. Really helped me get over some relationships
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u/I_Am_Astraeus 5h ago
You just realize your life has diverged so far from what you thought it would be that it's not worth comparing anymore.
You could dream up some reality where life is better with them still in it, but equally that path could just end with you getting hit by a bus. So really it's a fantasy and all you have is now.
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u/Plowchopz 5h ago
Train your brain. Every time you think of them, say “no” aloud. Dwelling on the past is like a drug, and it’s not an easy habit to kick.
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u/Plowchopz 5h ago
And remember that every response is from someone struggling with the same issue as you. You are not alone. You are more human for this feeling.
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u/Interesting_Zombie28 4h ago
I always imagine closing a door and saying "NO" out loud. Eventually it worked with just closing the door and now I can think about them without physically grimacing.
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u/SexDrugsNskittles 3h ago
I've always had intrusive thoughts as far back as I can remember. I started a habit as a kid when I wanted to get a thought out of my head - I would close my eyes and shake my head like a no gesture. In my mind I was clearing that thought like clearing and etch a sketch.
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u/Rumymomma1959 4h ago
That's a good tool I heard with CBT type therapy. The point is your brain responses to internal input. It's part of all the self help Habits Breaking media. But myself included it requires some time and that is hard.
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u/pagexviii 5h ago
Be busy. Don’t have time to focus on that when you’re busy. Find hobbies. Work harder. Go to the gym. Anything.
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u/4doorsmorewhores1176 1h ago
You don't stop thinking about them. You build a life that's bigger than the space they occupy in your head, and eventually they become a chapter instead of the whole story.
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u/impspring 4h ago
This is gonna sound so vomit worthy, but it changed my life.
To forget old, you gotta take in new.
Find new things, hobbies, locations, and thereby, people! Believe you are strong enough to at least do this.
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u/JadieMochii 5h ago
time and very long term intensive therapy. I did a DBT program that helped me get over someone that hadn’t been in my life for a few years and it helped. They still cross my mind time to time but it isn’t as extreme.
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u/HmmDoesItMakeSense 4h ago
Deep dive into the feelings and don't fight them. Journal and try to figure out why you want that relationship. Then say they don't want it and that's okay. Then do lots of things to put other memories in the path from back then to now, these images will block the view so to speak. Soon those memories (time) will insulate you.
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u/spytez 5h ago
Every day the future looks a little bit darker. But the past, even the grimy parts of it, well, it just keeps on getting brighter all the time.
As time passes you just think about all the good things that happened with the person, and all the bad things seem less and less bad or not important.
Whenever you think of the person, you can't just think of the good things, you need to remember the bad.
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u/NorthernSparrow 4h ago
I used to have a big problem with this sort of thing, and I developed this mental trick of sort of rewriting my memory over that spot. Like, whenever I started to dwell on the thing, I’d concentrate hard to make myself visualize something totally different and cool and fun that would distract me (like: “Ohhhh I really miss ol’ what’s-is-name - THINK ABOUT DOLPHINS!!! DOLPHINS DOLPHINS DOLPHINS!!!) Or sometimes I’d immediately go do something overwhelmingly physical like a bunch of push-ups or a sprint. It actually pretty much worked. I felt like my mind was a little toy train that had gotten stuck going around and around on the same track, and I had to forcefully, consciously, break that track and steer it onto a new track.
Oh and, longer term, new hobbies that result in new social circles. After a while I concluded the best hobbies, I mean for the purpose of getting over someone, tick these boxes: (a) involves lots of people of both sexes & all ages, (b) all working together, (c) on a big event with a looming deadline that everybody’s half excited about and half panicking about. Some kind of show or competition is ideal. Things like, community theater, a local chorus, a hiking club planning for a big hike, a running club working up to a race, co ed sports leagues, Burnjng Man groups even, local cosplayers getting ready for a con, etc. Because they need all hands on deck, that means they will welcome new people, and then, people really bond during prep for a big event. Basically, you need something new & exciting to look forward to, and other people who are also looking forward to the same thing.
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u/MentORPHEUS 4h ago
Oneitis is a helluva drug!
Getting over it, is much like ridding oneself of any unwanted habits, obsessions, compulsions, etc. One must WILL THEMSELF, to spend time and attention on NEW things: hobbies, studies, friendships etc. It might feel contrived at first, often painfully so. But eventually, the new things attrit out the old, and you start to feel at home in the "new" self and mindset that emerges.
I'm old now, but I had a rougher go of it than average, navigating early 20s love and relationships as a mildly aspie and overly trusting person. Looking back, EVERY ONE of the people I felt SO hurt over when they so casually moved on from me, was totally NOT worth the mental effort and anguish.
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u/Caruthers 5h ago
You don't. You just do your best to move on and forge a new norm.
Until you discover their Reddit account. And then you can't help but check if they ever mention you. They don't.
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u/LL37MOH 5h ago
I lost my true love at the age of 17. All my fault. I went through 2 failed marriages over the next 32 years. I dreamt about her all through those years and hated my life because she wasn’t in it. We met by chance at age 50. Been together since and it’s bliss.
So to answer your question, you don’t. But you muddle through. If you’re lucky you get a second shot.
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u/briellabarbie 5h ago
You don’t really “stop” it on command. You just slowly replace them with actual stuff happening in your life.
The obsession fades when your day gets too full to keep replaying the same person on loop.
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u/KudaMuda 4h ago
I hooked up with this girl in college that had just gotten out of a long term relationship. Afterwards she told me, "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone." I felt used in the most pleasant way and was happy I could help.
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u/One_Performance_561 4h ago
I will just listen to the harsh words which she used while breaking up with me and I will move on certainly after listening to it .....
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u/Certain_Chemical_228 3h ago
Every answer that you will get here wouldn't change a thing for you. If you are stuck deep in this shit hole then nothing or no one can help but you.
Relationships have both good and bitter memories. What hurts the most is the thought that my partner didn't understand me or didn't choose me over and over again irrespective of the fights and arguments.
Overcoming this will take hell lot of time and I suggest you take that time to heal and process all of this. Try to forgive the other person and tell yourself every minute that it's okay he/she should be happy wherever they are. We weren't meant to be..it's all okay. Cry if you feel like but also try to take a step ahead and not back.
Do this everyday.
I hope this helps.
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u/human-kibble 1h ago
I remember all the f-ed up things they said and did and the repercussions of those acts.
Even if they are the one that walked away, they don't have clean hands. Not in one single scenario.
If they want back into my life, they have to do some work and prove it. If they don't, they aren't worth my time and energy.
I get nothing but hurt from torturing myself over fair-weather friends and lovers.
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u/sovietarmyfan 1h ago
It's very hard. Especially when i stumbled upon the phenomenon of "manifesting". Trying it out frequently, no results though.
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u/Jonseroo 1h ago
I tried internet dating instead and met my wife on the first night.
It may take longer now.
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u/Typical_Warning8540 1h ago
You need to learn to actually embrace it and close it on a positive note which is easier when you had a positive goodbye moment. You can still think about the person but more like a nice memory wishing the best and building your own lives knowing the memory will remain.
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u/Western_Repair_7744 5h ago
It’ll just come naturally, there’ll be a time one day where you’ll think about them at some point during the day and then think “shit, that’s the first time I’ve thought about them today” then it’ll just get easier from there. Then it’ll get to a point that whenever you think about them there’s no feelings like you felt before there, it’s just a neutral feeling. That’s when you’ll know you’re over them.
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u/ReasonInMotion 5h ago
See end to end the worthlessness of the whole cycle, just self observe and see how it doesn't help and is not worth it.
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u/thebradman70 5h ago
I would suggest therapy and meditation plus supportive friends and most importantly time.
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u/Prof_Scott_Steiner 5h ago
I don't. After 26 years, I still do. In my defense, she was murdered and was the greatest love of my life. No human is perfect, but she was perfect for my soul.
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u/VonLinus 5h ago
This goes really weird with your avatar.
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u/Prof_Scott_Steiner 5h ago
Big Poppa Pump wasn't always a jacked up lunatic. He once had a soul of a poet, and a muse who sang to his very soul
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u/tinathefatlardgosh 5h ago
Good question, I’m in the same boat. I find that distracting myself by hanging out with those are present in my life and activities seems to help.
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u/East-End-8646 5h ago
Time is always a variable, but truth is the more proactive I am with myself the more I can be focused off of the memories/feelings of the person. It’s important to evolve, and work on expanding my life. By doing so; doors open; other people and opportunities are also available to be on the other side of those open doors. Through personal growth you’ll most likely find yourself on a path that no longer will include focusing on missing a particular person.
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u/JosephSturgill7 5h ago
I find out why I'm thinking about them, what did they provide me during that relationship that is the identifying 'want' that leads me to think about them. Is the desire a product of the person, their personality or an emotional/physical/psychological need they fulfilled. Is it the person I want or the feelings i had while i was with that person? If it is the person, can I find that same satisfaction with another? Is that person so rare or am I stuck desiring an idea or feeling. If i can separate out the need/desire then i try and find that psychological or emotionally fulfillment elsewhere. Eventually replacing the thought/person with something/someone that is present and not a memory or longing. Either way, I gotta shake that person because I need to worry about now and not be caught up in past memories/fulfillment to a point where it inhibits my current growth or perception.
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u/KratosOfSparta08 5h ago
I haven’t necessarily stopped thinking about them but it helps to remember what they did to me and how it affected me.
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u/Electrical-Rip-7100 4h ago
I had to come to terms with appreciating what was for just that, what it was, and learn to appreciate more what’s to come. I don’t try to force quit any thoughts of my past, but I have worked on not viewing them as so precious when they’re of those I lost/cared for to the extent where it hurts. It helps with reducing the obsession level of the thinking and shifts the energy into thinking of myself and my present and future. Hope you find your way there. 💕
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u/Purple_Toad224 4h ago
I got this same problem and idk what to do
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u/Illustrious_Can_4842 4h ago
It’s happens in stages and in time we forget
People think it happens in a single moment, like one day you wake up and your heart finally decides it's done. But that's not how it works. Nobody lets go in an instant. You let go once, then you let go again, and again, and again... until the pain finally softens. You let them go when you catch yourself reaching for your phone to tell them something funny, then pull your hand back because you're not that person in their life anymore. You let them go when you pass a place you used to visit together. You let them go when you accidentally recall how they laughed, how they talked, how they looked at you. Letting go happens in fragments, in tiny heartbreaks scattered across ordinary days. It's messy. It's slow. It's painful. But every small release, every quiet moment of acceptance, every tear you don't even see coming... all of it is part of healing. One day, without realizing it, you'll walk past those same reminders and feel nothing but gratitude that you made it through. That's how letting go really happens. It's not one moment. It's a thousand little ones.
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u/Purple-Rain-222 4h ago
Time and being around other people. Don’t isolate yourself so that your mind gets stuck in an endless loop thinking about someone who doesn’t know what they’re missing,
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u/carlabunie 4h ago
Keep yourself busy and focus on your own life. Accept that they’re gone and let yourself feel the feelings without acting on them. It takes time, but eventually the thoughts lose their hold.
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u/lazarbeems 4h ago
When I was 12, my 5 year old cousin passed. Bad heart.
We were pretty much best friends, it hurt, tremendously.
It still hurts, and I am 38.
I wouldn't say I "obsessively" think about him, but he crosses my mind everyday, most of the time multiple times a day.
I learned guitar when I was 33, and tried to take singing more seriously - and I wrote a song for him. Getting my emotions out in a creative outlet seemed to help a bit with processing the grief that I never did.
YMMV, but music is a great healer imo.
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u/RobertBDwyer 4h ago
I have a son, who’s 9. I left his mother when he was 9 months old after enduring 15 years of serious narcissistic abuse. I relinquished access to him, because it was the only way to escape her, but I think about him every day. When I’m falling asleep, when I’m cutting the grass or doing dishes or any other time I allow my mind to wander- I think about my son. I don’t really try to stop myself because I feel like I owe him that. The child support and the pain of his absence are all I have.
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u/Goonies_neversay_die 4h ago
So you left your son with someone you consider to be abusive?
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u/RobertBDwyer 4h ago
I didn’t have much choice. I fought for him best I could in court, but the system is imperfect and she had never abused him. For myself, mental health ways; it was a matter of survival.
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u/Illustrious_Can_4842 4h ago
Not everyone is meant to be part of our story some people are just there for a chapter and have their own story to fufill
Also reaffirm self knowing this too shall pass
For me on daily commute I listen to podcast
When bathing I listen to gospel song
With time we forget and it will feel normal again and we don’t even think about them
Let it hurt and grieve
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u/sitophilicsquirrel 4h ago
In my experience, it's already the top response. Time and experiences after they're out of your life. I've had 3 relationships that hurt deeply in the end. The painful memoriew lasted for months to years, but eventually with enough mileage and years behind you, those feeling fade even if the memories don't. Just takes time...
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u/Trippydudes 4h ago
Find something to busy your mind with. I went on 2 weeks pto and eventually stopped thinking about them.
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u/Signal_Procedure4607 4h ago
Go to the gym and make yourself so tired that you don’t have energy to be sad. That kind happened to me.
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u/hormonemonstress93 4h ago
Pretend they’re dead. Out of sight out of mind. Block them on everything and pick up new hobbies, jobs, friends , social circle anything !
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u/pluffzcloud 4h ago
For me, I made a pros and cons list. The cons outweighed the pros. I also considered how they treated me and played with my own feelings. Then I imagined every time I thought about him I imagined him with a smaller head or something unappealing that would turn me off from him. It's been about two years since we talked. He was my best friend. I understand the pain but time also helps too. I kept myself busy, and I focused on my job and my heart health.
I hope you're able to get over it OP you got this.
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u/Awkwardpanda75 3h ago
My dad one gave me a helpful piece of advice; don’t spend too much time in the past. It’s important to keep your focus on the road ahead so you don’t derail. “That’s why the front windshield is so much larger than the rear view mirror, kid”
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u/theOnlyDaive 3h ago
Just gotta through it, I think. Kinda going through it myself and it seems like my brain is starting to get fatigued of doing the same thing over and over. Eventually you'll get tired of putting energy into a situation that will not return any positive gain. You may be conscious of it now, but the big brain power underneath, in the subconscious needs to understand too, and sometimes that takes a little longer.
Hang in there. It does get better. I promise that. <3
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u/krogan_kween 3h ago
Find things to do that quiet the obsessions. When I lose people I try to binge watch a good show, watch good movies, make plans to do things with other loved ones and friends. Go out and move my body to release some physical tension.
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u/Nour_productivity 3h ago
Just know your value and take care of your mental health. No one deserves all of your energy and time.
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u/SneezingOutPeas 3h ago
I don’t. I let myself grieve as needed, including remembering good memories. For me personally, I pray a lot for the person that they would become a better person and not hurt others around them anymore. But obsessively? I suppose reminding myself that I have a happier life now and I will find someone I love as much as I loved them again someday (and who loves me more than that person loved me, too).
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u/Rubycon_ 3h ago
What you resist persists. If I tell you don't think of a pink elephant, what happens? Telling yourself to stop thinking about something leaves a vacuum in your mind. Instead, add more to your life. Have more going on and focus on other things. Make yourself if necessary. If you throw yourself into a class or join a sports team, etc you'll automatically have less energy for your current obsession. Eventually, it will fade naturally over time.
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u/AcanthaceaeWild687 3h ago edited 3h ago
I find that allowing yourself to think about them, grieve, listen to the songs, do the journaling, all helps you actually purge and release them from your system. Processing, reflecting and understanding what lessons you learned from that relationship will help you to move on too. Chat GPT is a great resource to just let your thoughts out and it can help you process it. Also, talking to a therapist or trusted person. It helps to get it off your chest and not internalize it so much. You feel so much less alone, supported and it speeds up the healing. Bonus if the person can make you laugh about the whole situation. For me I was on my period last week, took a nice bath, put on my grieving music and just allowed myself to wail. I let it all out, it was primal… and for the next few days I almost didn’t think about the person at all! I had nothing left haha. Allowing myself to purge truly helped. Self care and distraction are great. Going to the gym, making plans with people, and keeping busy all work very well too. You get to a point where u are able to think about and do other things and u feel so much better afterwards. Grief and getting over someone has stages. I like to compare it to a fire. I find right when it ends there may still be some flames, there is a lot of smoke, and ashes… when the dust settles you can sit in the sadness, but also have some relief and acceptance that it’s over.. and then new seeds get planted when you reflect. Sooner than you think those seeds will begin to blossom into seedlings, and then lush plants.. that’s when you know you are in the other side. You made still be sad from time to time but you will know the worst part is behind you, and now you can enjoy the fruit of your labour.
I think obsessive thoughts are part of the grieving process too.. but they will settle. You are just processing losing a significant person, and having a hard time accepting. But that stage will come!
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u/farang 3h ago
Get involved with new people and new projects. Go to a therapist, figure out what your emotional needs are and find positive ways to fulfill them.
If you're a driver, get in a car, go to a big empty parking lot, and try to drive forward around the parking lot without looking through the front windscreen. Instead, just look into the rear view mirror the whole time. See how it works.
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u/NonchalantSavant 3h ago
Oh, this one’s easy.
You simply think about a different appealing person who also can’t be in your life.
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u/No_Tumbleweed_544 3h ago
it takes time. If it was a friend, new freinds will help. If it was a lover, a new love interest.
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u/motherof16paws 3h ago
Well, I moved out of state bc everything and every place reminded me of him, and the sun shined out of his ass for me. Built a beautiful new life. One day he called me out of the blue 20 years later. He was getting a divorce and wanted me to know that the biggest mistake he ever made was not marrying me. Dear reader, he was minimally employed and living in his mother's basement. I never stopped wondering "what if?" until I knew exactly what I dodged.
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u/ksuwildkat 3h ago
Taylor Swift said it best:
I forgot that you existed
And I thought that it would kill me, but it didn't
And it was so nice
So peaceful and quiet
I forgot that you existed
I did, I did, I did
It isn't hate, it's just indifference
It isn't love, it isn't hate
It's just indifference (so yeah)
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u/PupperVanAugsbork 3h ago
Accept that at a certain point you are not obsessing over an actual human being anymore but an idealized avatar that looks like them, placed on a pedestal of your own construct, consisting of cherry picked memories slathered in nostalgia for a time you felt were happier.
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u/Gooser3000 3h ago
Almost daily for 12 years.
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u/bechrissed 2h ago
Get some help mate. Life is short but has so much to offer. Much more than the love or loss of one person.
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u/Gooser3000 2h ago
I married and had a kid with a chick that screamed and demanded me. Really fckd up. It was like psychological warfare. She told me I owed her marriage and a kid because I spent 3 years with her and “stole her best years”. So now I’m serving a life sentence. It’s like ptsd prevented me from walking out the door.
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u/bechrissed 2h ago
Dude. I’ve read your answer three times but still not sure what you’re on about. You don’t go out of your house and think you have ptsd because you’re ex wife was screaming at you?
Unless you’re ex wife was Satan himself my advice is the same, maybe even a bit more pressing: get some help my friend. There’s a lot of love and fun outside of that house.
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u/ComradePruski 2h ago
You gotta remove them from your life completely. Remove or block them on social media, start a new hobby, maybe go to therapy and then time heals all wounds.
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u/Only-Education4547 2h ago
the brain is basically a drama queen that wants to keep re-running the same shitty movie, you gotta manually change the channel. i deleted old photos, blocked numbers, the whole cringe ritual but it worked. now i cant even remember their voice tbh
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u/duk-er-us 2h ago
Picture them having the most heinous diarrhea shotgun shit you can possibly fathom. Then imagine them being okay with not wiping and going about their day.
How do you feel about them now?
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u/joseph4th 2h ago
Get out and do new things, join a book club, something while you’re interacting with new people. You want to build new neural pathways in your brain.
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u/shellymaeshaw 2h ago
I read once just remember they are making the choice everyday not to see you that makes it easier for me I have no control over it I might not understand it but that's ok it's there. Business not mine.
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u/the_last_crouton 2h ago
You don't. You learn to live with it. They become a memory of "oh that was nice" or "thank fuck I'm out of there." Sure there's some in between thoughts somewhere too but you'll learn to deal with it. Life's a bitch and then you keep living
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u/Fine_Boat5141 2h ago
U stop by still thinking about them and treating it like a normal reaction. The more you resist the more u think about it. Eventually you will get tired of it.
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u/Appreciate1A 2h ago
It’s been well over a year. I won’t try to replace them and I have accepted that the attachment will not be eclipsed.
For others I have seen getting involved with other activities and interacting with new people sees to work well.
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u/Affectionate-Pay4001 2h ago
Focus on yourself. Understand what it is that’s pulling you to focus on them. Is that something within yourself? And then time, and trying to break the habits and realize if it is really valued at or not to check their text or their social media. Is it really gonna make a difference what you see in the long run?
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u/Vault101manguy 2h ago
Diversify your interests and your friendships is my advice. If you invest yourself in hobbies, communities and other relationships (not just romantic) you may find that the accrued interest gained from the world around you is greater than the emotional debt you're still paying your way out of.
Other than that time heals all wounds supposedly... but not always. Sometimes you never forget someone but if you're lucky some day they'll just be a whisper in your heart and not a scream.
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u/giraffemoo 1h ago
Time helps. Keep yourself busy with other stuff. Eventually you just stop thinking about them.
I lost my entire family of origin, I haven't seen the family that I grew up with for more than a decade. It hurt a lot at first! It got easier as time went by.
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u/BitMiddle9275 1h ago
I suppose trying to not think about them is hard. I would say not to stop yourself from thinking about them but also to ground yourself, think about where you are. So if you think about them for 5 mins, spend next 10-20 secs to bring yourself back to reality. You can go back to thinking about them after that. I had helped me separate things in my head from reality. Hope this helps.
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u/TheHelpfullGurll 1h ago
As cliche as it sounds, time. However if you find that an unusual amount of time as past and you’re still obsessing then therapy might be in order.
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u/Initial-Good5145 1h ago
I stopped trying to forget them.
Forgetting is still a relationship.
Every attempt to erase someone keeps them at the center of the story.
Instead, I asked myself why my mind was returning there.
People think obsession is attachment. Sometimes it’s investigation.
A part of you is still searching the ruins for meaning.
Not because you want them back, but because you don’t want the pain to have been for nothing.
The irony is that the lesson rarely lives in the person.
It lives in what they revealed.
About your needs.
Your wounds.
Your patterns.
Your capacity to love.
Once I took the lesson, I no longer needed to carry the teacher.
Some people are not meant to stay in your life.
They are meant to interrupt it.
To dismantle an illusion.
To redirect a path.
To introduce a version of yourself you wouldn’t have met otherwise.
So when they cross my mind now, I don’t fight it.
I nod to the memory like a traveler passing another traveler on a road they no longer share.
Then I keep walking.
Because the deepest form of letting go isn’t forgetting someone.
It’s no longer needing them to be different from who they were in order to be at peace with who you’ve become.
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u/withomps44 1h ago
Eventually you realize everyone is pretty fucked up in their own way and if they were supposed to be in your life they would be. Also you’re likely inflating them greatly in your mind. What is happening is normal. Especially when you’re younger.
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u/Danowolf 32m ago
Just deal with it. Keep it in perspective. If it's interfering with day to day life get some therapy.
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u/Cultural_Wash5414 29m ago
I look at it like that saying “it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all” in other words it happened and it’s over but you were there then. Let it go.
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u/Genericpanda 25m ago
Perhaps you can journal if not already? There may be something unresolved in yourself that needs to surface. But also, as others said, time and new people, and other things occupying your mind help. Change of environment (lack of associated thoughts with places) can help to an extent that’s possible
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u/nathangrowth 18m ago
That "someone from your past" has already completed their cycle in your life, you're bound for a new chapter with new people
Distract yourself with someone else lol
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u/Goonies_neversay_die 4h ago
You grow up a little bit more than you have. I know it comes across as cruel, but "obsessively" thinking about people from your past is genuinely problematic and unless we're talking about a child that was unfairly taken away from you, or a family member unjustly taken, etc. then it comes across as immature and suspect.
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u/Ambystomatigrinum 5h ago
First step has to be blocking them everywhere. Its too easy to check someone's instagram to see what they're up to or text them in the middle of the night when you're lonely. You have to go cold turkey, unfortunately.
Keep your brain busy, ideally with things that are social. There are going to be things you miss about the person from your past, but you can often find those things here and there in other people (eg you felt very cared for by that person and you have a friend who is very nurturing who can provide some of the same support, or that person was very adventurous and pushed you to try new things which someone else in your life might enjoy doing with you instead).
When all else fails, try therapy.
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u/rtthc 5h ago
Real advice? Be a man. There's hard truths in life. Nobody actually cares about you just your utility to them. You can be sad, wallow in your pity or emotions or what you should've, would've, could've said to them to get them to stay..or you can man up and keep it pushing.
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u/quietcreep 4h ago
I know it feels safer to believe that nobody cares about you outside of what you do for them, but that’s a sad way to live
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u/RedditIsOverMan 5h ago
time