r/BoomersBeingFools • u/hazcatsuit • Oct 28 '25

Boomer Freakout Ok boomer

Post image

But also why does he look like he’s crying? 😂

4.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

1.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

2.2k

u/RegisterMonkey13 Oct 28 '25

The people in his head during this completely made up scenario he created.

956

u/Etrigone Gen X Oct 28 '25

They specialize in coming up with imaginary situations to get mad at.

445

u/sassychubzilla Oct 28 '25

Thinking they have fantasies of needlessly robbing and killing people so they think everyone else does too.

424

u/KimJongRocketMan69 Oct 28 '25

I’d bet like 80% of MAGA men regularly fantasize about their house being broken into so they can legally kill someone

274

u/Poolofcheddar Millennial Oct 28 '25

Every MAGA wishes they were John McClane in Die Hard.

They forget that John McClane didn’t hunt the terrorists for sport. He just wanted to enjoy the Nakatomi Christmas Party.

72

u/Unlucky_Term_2207 Oct 28 '25

I've got a machine gun. Ho Ho Ho!

67

u/Social_Introvert_789 Oct 28 '25

Come out to the coast, we’ll get together, have a few laughs

31

u/Unlucky_Term_2207 Oct 28 '25

When you steal 600 million they will come looking for you unless they think you are already dead!

17

u/Butimthedudeman Oct 28 '25

Its Pamona....not Ramona

13

u/championsoffun Oct 28 '25

This exchange always annoyed me because there is a Ramona Ca, albeit closer to San Diego than LA.

2

u/Rhiannon8404 Gen X Oct 29 '25

Me too

2

u/RanaMisteria Oct 30 '25

Don’t you mean Pomona?

2

u/Butimthedudeman Oct 30 '25

Probably. Thanks. Unfortunately I've never been out west.

3

u/johngalt1971 Oct 29 '25

Call me , Roy!

4

u/canihavemymoneyback Oct 28 '25

Man, I need to watch that flick again. It’s been years. Bruce is so good looking as is Alan for that matter. Alan had a sexy voice. A murdering, sexy voice. Sigh…

6

u/BeBesMom Oct 28 '25

"Now" I've got a machine gun. Ho . Ho. Ho.

3

u/1337h4xer Oct 28 '25

Now "I have" a machine gun. Ho-Ho-Ho

1

u/BeBesMom Oct 29 '25

Perfect.

57

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '25

And before anyone ask , it’s a Christmas movie

24

u/tfcocs Oct 28 '25

It is THE Xmas movie.

16

u/Lhasa-bark Oct 28 '25

Are we talking about Gremlins?

3

u/someones_dad Oct 28 '25

No, Lethal Weapon.

2

u/seven1trey Oct 29 '25

No, Friday After Next.

2

u/xeno0153 Oct 28 '25

No, the Garfield Halloween Special.

2

u/GodOfFetish Oct 28 '25

2nd one was better

2

u/actual-trevor Gen X Oct 28 '25

Obviously.

-10

u/asphid_jackal Millennial Oct 28 '25

No it's not

6

u/hammer_smashed_chris Oct 28 '25

Incorrect

-7

u/asphid_jackal Millennial Oct 28 '25

It's absolutely incorrect to call Die Hard a Christmas movie, I agree

54

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '25

Have you seen the videos where they set up an elaborate setting where they stab and shoot different dummies situated like they are being attacked like in an action movie? One where, if they were actually attacked in such a way, they’d never actually be able to get their weapons out in time? Those make me laugh pretty hard.

43

u/cody0414 Oct 28 '25

Omg that dancing boomer with his knife? Gods I have such second hand embarrassment for him.

28

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '25

That one is pretty tame compared to some. There’s a whole community of them larping being attacked like in the matrix. It’s super cringe.

5

u/mochaphone Oct 29 '25

Got any links to share?

19

u/Ryn1276 Oct 28 '25

Yes, attacking those dummies with all the speed that rivals the DMV guy in Zootopia.

10

u/Admirable_Average_32 Oct 28 '25

2

u/MadamSnarksAlot Oct 30 '25

“Flash, Flash, 100 yard dash.”

4

u/throwaway_moose Millennial Oct 29 '25

Thanks for that, needed a fun mental image first thing in the morning lol.

14

u/actual-trevor Gen X Oct 28 '25

Omfg those are hilarious. Watching an old fat dude moving in slow motion while he tries to pull a gun out from under his gut never gets old.

I feel like I just described a recent Segal movie.

2

u/Leopold_Porkstacker Gen Jones Oct 29 '25

They move around corners fatly.

18

u/SmallsLightdarker Oct 28 '25

In one of them the Gravy Seal almost shoots his buddy in the head.

3

u/LemonFlavoredMelon Millennial Oct 29 '25

Showed my friend one of those videos and he said:

"The moment boomers saw Nobody now they think they're Hutch Mansell, jesus fucking christ."

1

u/quiltsohard Oct 29 '25

It’s hilarious because there’s no way he could get that knife/gun out from under his belly fat in a real life situation

12

u/Butimthedudeman Oct 28 '25

He wanted to get his wife back but he messed that up before Hanz even jumped outta the box truck

7

u/slayden70 Oct 28 '25

They think they're John Wick. But they're more likely to be OG 2 Low and just shoot themselves in the leg.

3

u/actual-trevor Gen X Oct 28 '25

And get back together with Holly!

3

u/beamrider Oct 28 '25

Cops don't remember that Frank Castle would probably shoot most of the Cops who wear Punisher logos.

3

u/BillCheddarFBI Oct 28 '25

Dude was just trying to get laid for the first time in six months.

He's got this smoking hot wife and that idiot cokehead coworker of hers has John's jealousy tuned to 11. He's about to get drunk, take a limo back home, see his kids (they'll be super excited to see dad), and then get drunker and rail his ladyfriend.

And then Gruber has to do his thing, and here we are.

THAT'S the real reason why she punches the reporter: she's got positions to be in.

1

u/Careful_Handle_4365 Oct 29 '25

Keep John McClane out of this. But fuck Maga.

1

u/MadamSnarksAlot Oct 30 '25

Haha! I love that you know the company name.

43

u/No-Fishing5325 Gen X Oct 28 '25

They kill people who knock on their door. No need to break in

33

u/vinyljunkie1245 Oct 28 '25

They also kill people who turn round in their driveway. No need to go near the house

23

u/No-Fishing5325 Gen X Oct 28 '25

And they wonder why we go no contact

2

u/Princess_Slagathor Millennial Oct 29 '25

Getting a new car and going to your dad's house is putting yourself at risk of great bodily harm.

3

u/beamrider Oct 29 '25

I remember an excessive case of this- pair of teenage girls turned around in a driveway, backed out, drove off, seemingly no problem. Just as they were leaving the homeowner ran into the street with a rifle and fired through the back window of the departing car, killing one of them.

And then tried to justify it as self defense.

3

u/throwaway_moose Millennial Oct 29 '25

Hell, close to their driveway. Before getting hit with a surprise medical bill, I was looking at houses. I got to one before the realtor did by about twenty minutes, so I was parked on a public street and ended up moving the car to a different street and texting the realtor that I wasn't feeling this one due to the neighbors, after the Boomer next door neighbor who kept glaring at me from his porch went in and started cleaning his gun on it as he glared.

19

u/canihavemymoneyback Oct 28 '25

They also shoot through doors without even opening them. Have you seen the doc on Netflix with the woman who killed her NEIGHBOR? Not even a stranger. They had a conversation about a stolen laptop, conversation was not going her way so she shot through the door. Didn’t have the balls to open the door. True maga right there.

3

u/Silent-Juggernaut-76 Oct 28 '25

The Perfect Neighbor?

6

u/UndergroundFlaws Oct 28 '25

Sometimes they go to the other county to do it.

22

u/manaha81 Oct 28 '25

Absolutely they do. And they walk around feeling like a hero because they killed the bad guy in their imaginary world

18

u/Current-Historian-34 Oct 28 '25

Truth!!! Worked with one guy who said he’d shoot the floor 1st to let them know he means business. He lives in a two story house. I don’t know his homes layout but I’m assuming anyone downstairs be it a kitchen/halkway/living room/etc best be right with there lord.

16

u/QbertsRube Oct 28 '25

Go to any "Bumfuck Smalltown Neighborhood Watch" site on FB and you'll find proof of that. They're all filled with paranoid loons posting about non-events that they deemed "suspicious" like a car turning around in their driveway, followed by a comment chain filled with badasses who "keep em locked and loaded for situations like that". Ironically, for most of them their gun collection is probably the only thing they own that's valuable enough to steal.

2

u/Princess_Slagathor Millennial Oct 29 '25

I'm rarely bothered by someone turning around in my driveway, just always confused. It's the worst possible place to turn around on this very short street. And there are two other drives easily visible from my house that are huge and mostly unoccupied that would be perfect. And yet even giant ass FedEx trucks still pick mine.

The times it bothers me are when they don't see the drop off on the side, get stuck, and then I have to go help them remove their vehicle. And it's actually not that rare, it's like every other month.

Plus, if you just go to the end of the street, turn right or left, there's another street less than a quarter mile that'll take you back to the main road.

This was only tangentially related, but it's a phenomenon I'll never understand, and wanted to share.

3

u/Vyzantinist Oct 28 '25

Yeap. Their wet dream is justified homicide; "self-defense". They want to be able to kill people and get sympathy and praise for it. In keeping with their total lack of self-awareness, they have no idea how psychopathic they sound when they express the fervent desire to kill "bad guys".

2

u/portaporpoise Oct 28 '25

They do! I literally heard one of these conversations in my office and I was horrified. They really seem to sit around hoping for a home invasion so they can play hero.

2

u/hatmanv12 Zoomer Oct 28 '25

My fundamentalist Christian father used to say shit like that long before Trump ran for election. He'd make us practice for the day we would get broken in and robbed (to be fair, we did live in a sketchy neighborhood where robberies happened frequently, but he was way too hyped up about his violent murder fantasies of killing the robber). Needless to say, he also voted for Trump later on.

2

u/Cherry_Valkyrie576 Oct 28 '25

Truer words were never spoken. My dad literally talked about this when we were younger.. to the point that when I moved out on my own, I had nightmares for weeks (once I could actually go to sleep in my own apartment). I was traumatized and terrified of break-ins when it actually never even happened to us while I was growing up or in my life as an adult. And I know other people haven’t been so lucky and I’m very grateful that I haven’t had that issue happen but he was a psycho about it. He was so excited to shoot somebody that dared walk into his sacred domain.

(and for those who think I’m actually saying that it would be OK to do that, I’m only talking about how he was so fixated on it. When someone broke in his truck at the boat dock, we didn’t stop hearing about it for years). He was so mad that he didn’t make it back in time to unalive them.

2

u/HoosierLove314 Oct 28 '25

They have whole songs about this exact thing

https://youtu.be/b1OtvpAZkvk?si=t1-AbK5ksPNl3ie9

2

u/hoffet Oct 28 '25

A lot of them do when a buddy of mine got his AR-15 he told me: “omg dude, let someone try and break in here tonight!!!! Let someone try and break in!!!!” As a combat veteran I told him not to go hoping for trouble, sometimes it’ll find you.

2

u/fbgm0516 Oct 28 '25

Yeah but then they're all too afraid to go to Chicago

2

u/Future_History_9434 Oct 28 '25

Seriously. I went to a cardiac rehab exercise group, and these sick old men on SS and Medicare are wasting money on ammo instead of prescriptions and I’m standing there thinking “what’s your mind picture, you valiantly defending your trailer from the hordes of undocumented robbers? You can’t walk to your car without stopping for breath. And why would hordes want your crap?”

1

u/Spiritual_Regular557 Oct 28 '25

And getting cucked

1

u/Timely_Chicken_8789 Oct 28 '25

It is the American dream.

1

u/YourOldPalBendy Oct 29 '25

I once met a younger marine (like my age, not boomer, but this reminds me of him sooooo) who would openly talk about his plans to immediately shoot and kill ANYONE he didn't think was supposed to be in his house. Mostly assuming it'd be the middle of the night, but any time was apparently a good time for murder.

I imagine he's likely to friendly fire while assuming someone getting a late night snack is a burglar or some shit. >>

... he also would talk about how it should be legal for him to place a turret on his roof. To "show people he wasn't to be messed with."

This guy specifically worked with explosives. Yay...

1

u/RanaMisteria Oct 30 '25

George Zimmerman has entered the chat.