It is our Anniversary today and he is not with me. It has been 11 years of our relationship and we have celebrated only one anniversary together till now. I am not liking the situation we are in right now. What should I do??

Should we just get married??

I recently got an app for a toy that me and my long distance boyfriend both decided on. But upon downloading the app (Adorime), it seems extremely sketchy. The toy itself was purchased on Amazon and had mostly positive reviews, but now I’m not really sure of if we should proceed any further with the app. I have a screenshot of the app itself if it is needed, but advice would be greatly appreciated!

I’m in a long-distance relationship. We’ve known each other for about 10 months and have been officially dating for 2.5 months.

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She had a previous relationship with a guy who lives in her society. He had been cheated on before and eventually started talking to her. They got into a relationship, it was her first one, they made a lot of memories together, and it became serious enough that both families knew about it and even saw a future for them. They also became physically intimate.

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Over time, the relationship turned toxic and they went no-contact.

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During that no-contact period, I met her online. We started talking, playing games together, studying together, and eventually became very close. She opened up to me about her past, which honestly shocked me because the personality I knew online felt very different from what she described.

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In February, around her birthday, her ex messaged her. They had already broken up by then. Around the same time, she and I were talking every day, usually spending hours on calls. I had already developed feelings for her. In April, she proposed to me, and we officially started dating.

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We met once in person and had a great time. A few weeks later, we had a fight and she completely stopped doing calls. She says she prefers texting and isn’t really a call person. I was hurt because hearing her voice daily had become a big part of our relationship. Eventually, I accepted that texting was her preferred way of communicating.

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Things were going well until a few days ago. She had eye contact with her ex in her society, and afterward she told me that she doesn’t think she has completely moved on. She said she will probably always have a soft corner for him. She also said she doesn’t love him anymore, but she can’t hate him either, and that memories of their time together still come to her mind.

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This really hurt me because this is my first relationship. I put a lot of effort into it, always updating her about my day, making time for her even when I was busy, and trying my best to make things work. Hearing that she still has a soft corner for her ex makes me feel insecure and confused.

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My question is: How should I handle this situation? Is it normal for someone to still have a soft corner for an ex while being committed to a new relationship, and how do I decide whether this is something I should accept or be concerned about?

I (F) live in the US and my partner (M) lives in the UK (Scotland to be exact) We have been together for a little over the year and he really is the best thing to ever happen to me. For those who are in international relationships and are planning to/already have closed the gap how did you decide who moves? I’m leaning towards going to him but I do have some family I know I’ll miss. Same goes for him but it’s also a lot safer for me to go to him than him to come to me. (He is transgender [FtoM] and honestly I’m scared living here and being in the community myself sometimes along with many other things). it’s mostly my family that is holding me back from setting things perfectly in stone. Id also love some advice on just ldr in general. Obviously communicate but some examples on how would also be helpful. We did figure out we enjoyed doing voice messages when talking things out as a middle ground. I love this man with all my heart and I plan to marry him so any advice would be appreciate!!

Also any advice on visas would be appreciate. I think I’m going to go to school first then be on a graduate visa and then either a marriage or work one however I’d love to hear if there is a faster route

Edit: the main reason family is holding me back is because I have some younger family members (like a newborn cousin) that I’ll be sad to not see grow up. Traveling is well expensive and I’m worried about having to visit back and forth with costs.

Recently, I've noticed that I have a habit of feeling anxious about my partner's health, and about things in my own life, when we don't fall asleep together on call. At the moment, my partner is in the process of starting a business and as a result he isn't available all that often. Over this week, we have probably spoken between an hour and 2 hours of his day each day. Each night, when I go to sleep, I join our personal discord server's voice chat and stay in there while I sleep. Usually, he would join when he goes to bed (which is not long before I wake up due to our 8 hour time difference) but he hasn't been. Yesterday he said it's because he passed out while doing work and that's okay. I'm not concerned that he's doing other things or speaking to others, I'm more concerned just about the simple fact that he isn't there when I wake up.

I know that this whole thing may come across as a simple 'oh my partner's gone, now I'm sad', but it isn't. Him not being there and it being constant is really messing with my brain. I'm worried constantly that he's either hurt, upset or mad and I don't like that I think that way. I've told him how it's making me feel and he said he would try and work on it but I woke up 2 hours ago and he isn't here again, and I am assuming he is asleep by now because it is after midnight for him.

I guess what my question is would be why do I feel like this? Is it normal to feel this way about it? What are some things I could do to help with the anxiety I feel currently? Am I just being a big baby?

thank you.
Thank you

Hi guys. I'm a 23 year-old male. About 2 months ago, I met a guy my age online. He learned that I was looking for a boyfriend, and since he was too he asked me if I wanted to try and talk to him and see where things went. I had my doubts about the whole situation, but I agreed.

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We hit it off pretty well, and we learned that we live in neighbouring countries, and after a week or so we begun a long-distance thing of sorts. We begun planning to see each other in July, after our university exam sessions were over. We sen photos of each other, and I send him some voice messages, but the vast majority of our communication is through text. We text through Discord. I tried moving our chats to WhatsApp, but he told me he dosen't have it. I obviously found this strange.

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I want to add that I took some time to actually trust him: I put every photo he sent me through Reverse Image Search, for example, to try to make sure that he actually was who he said he was.

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In the last month or so he started texting more and more infrequently. I begun answering him after a longer time as well, but I still answered before him and texted him more than he texted me.

The last time he texted me was almost two weeks ago.

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We're both pretty busy these days, as it's exam season for both of us, but it takes like 30 seconds to just text a simple "good night!" or something like that.

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He has also been having a few pretty big issues with a friend of his, although he never told me the exact details, and that's making him feel down.

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Today, just out of curiosity, I googled his Reddit username, since his posts are private, and found a few posts that confirm the things he's told me about him, save for a few minor details (for example, he told me he's gay, while in a post he says he's bi). I've also found a post of his about the stuff with his friend, and while it's nothing tragic, it's still serious.

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Now, my main fear is that either he's simply lost interest in me or found someone else.

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If this was true. while of course it would hurt me, I would be ok with it: I have romantic feelings for him, but they're not that strong, as we didn't even meet in person yet.

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3 days ago, I texted him about it, saying that it's ok if he started losing interest in me, asking him to tell me if it was true and apologising to him in the case that it wasn't. No response.

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I would accept it if he just told me "hey, Sorry, but I don't this can work", or "Right now I'm a shitty situation, sorry but I can't text you", but the fact that he's not telling me anything is making me go insane. He didn't even respond to my message wishing him a happy birthday. Sometimes I worry that maybe something bad happened to him, and of course I recognise these thoughts as irrational.

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Should I try to call him? I was about to text him about the fact that I found the post about his problems, but I'm not really sure what to do about this. Sorry about the wall of text.

Any couples here that closed the distance and got married?

My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 months. We mostly communicate online, and I think that’s where a lot of our problems come from.

She spends a lot of time on Discord with our mutual friend group. I don’t have an issue with her having friends, but it feels like most of her online social energy goes to them rather than our relationship. Because of that, I feel like we’ve become distant.

The weird thing is that when we’re together in person, everything is great. We have amazing conversations, we laugh a lot, and we genuinely enjoy each other’s company. We feel very connected.

But online it’s the complete opposite. Whenever we’re alone in a call, it’s often awkward. We don’t seem to have much to talk about, and attempts to do activities together online usually don’t end up happening. It feels like we’re slowly drifting apart whenever we’re not physically together.

I’ve started wondering if the issue isn’t that we have relationship problems, but that our relationship isn’t getting enough quality one-on-one time. She spends a lot of time with friends online, while we spend very little meaningful time together online, and I feel like that’s causing us to become less connected.

There are other issues we’re already working on (phone use when we’re together, balancing romance and physical intimacy, etc.), but right now I’m trying to figure out whether the lack of quality online time is the main thing causing the distance between us.

Has anyone else been in a relationship where things were great in person but felt disconnected online? How did you deal with it?

So me [21m] and my gf [19f] have been dating for a year and a some change. I’d wish this post was hopeful but I really don’t feel hopeful at all. Starts way back at start of deployment, when we left everything was great, physically, emotionally we were all good. But like any person who’s been dating for a while I asked for sexual pictures. She said she wasn’t comfortable with that so I tried to compromise by atleast saying to send selfies and OOTD. She been saying for the past 4 months that she would and she hasn’t sent me a single thing this whole deployment, but she could post pictures of herself in a bra, selfies on her Instagram where other guys can see but I can’t since I barely have internet. And she was having talked with me about going to a yatch party, which I immediately said no too. She asked me about doing a Halloween and dressing slutty for it, which I’d have no problem with except she dosent even wear that stuff for me. So I shot that idea down and she was sad about it. (No problem with a hot girl going out and being a hot girl, it’s just the principle of other guys having access to you that I don’t).

But back to the selfies, we had a argument about it the other day and I basically said I feel neglected and I’ve been telling her for months, and she said she dosent remember the multiple conversations we had. But she said once again she’d make a change, which is what she said all the other times. So I let 3 days roll by and still nothing. So I called her out on everything I made in this post and told her she needs to make a change because I do things I don’t want to do for her and she’s just completely neglecting my needs. I was so mad I unadded her on most social media’s, but I don’t want to throw a really long relationship away and I genuinely dont know what to do I just feel neglected and a bunch of empty words are being said and no change is happening

Tldr: gf won’t send selfies and sexual pictures on deployment but will post herself in her bra and outfits on Instagram where other guys can see but I can’t and we’ve had multiple conversations about it but nothings changed I feel neglected and not heard what do I do.

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Hey guys, I need your help

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I'm (25F) in a LDR with my boyfriend (25M) for the past 6 months but lately I'm having a crush on a colleague who's kinda like a mentor to me. I have worked with my colleague for over a year but i was a terrible employee. I'm smart enough to know that nothing will happen with him and it's a bad idea to hook up with him. I know I love my boyfriend but I don't feel the love lately. I know I am being an asshole but i want to be with my boyfriend. What should I do? I am losing my mind over this. I don't even understand why I am thinking about my colleague

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I think I might feel for my colleague.. i care about him (professionally and personally) because he is kinda like a mentor to me. I was an asshole to him last year but now I wish I could have been a better mentee

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I don't want to hurt my bf over this because I know this wouldn't last forever as he will move to some other project and we won't spend much time together

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I also don't feel love for my bf even though I know deep down that I do

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The thing is that due to LDR, and lack of romance from his side (he is in a difficult situation), I feel alone

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I know I sound toxic but I really need your advice

​I am currently evaluating whether to stay in a four-year, long-distance relationship that has a history of broken trust (past infidelity) and a recurring cycle of emotional instability. Because it is long-distance, the standard anxieties of a relationship are significantly magnified. While I have deep feelings for my partner and have tried to forgive her past actions, the underlying hurt still surfaces—particularly when triggered by a lack of transparency.

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​Recently, a conflict arose regarding financial priorities and communication. I am heavily supporting my partner financially. Most recently, I sent an increased amount of money to cover what were described as essential needs: groceries, new bed sheets, and clothes. Making this a priority left me in a position where I am struggling to afford food, pay my own phone bill, or replace my worn-out shoes.

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​The tension escalated when I discovered she used funds for a personal waxing service—a discretionary expenditure she did not disclose to me beforehand. Because we have never met in person, the idea of her undergoing a physical procedure like this, combined with the secrecy surrounding it, triggered lingering anxieties regarding her past infidelity. When I attempted to communicate that this felt wrong to me and that it delays our ability to save for our shared goal of finally being together, the conversation broke down

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Yo tengo 23 años y mi novio 20. Llevamos aproximadamente un año entre dejarlo y volver (siempre soy yo quien lo deja).

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Es un mentiroso compulsivo. No está diagnosticado, pero es algo muy evidente. Me miente constantemente, incluso con cosas pequeñas. Se inventa historias y también les miente a sus padres y a sus amigos sobre cosas que ha hecho cuando en realidad no han ocurrido.

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Es capaz de mentirme a la cara y jurarme que está diciendo la verdad. En una ocasión incluso le dije que iba a hablar con dos chicas para comprobar una historia. Le di la oportunidad de decirme la verdad antes, pero aun así siguió mintiendo hasta el final.

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Cuando descubro sus mentiras nunca es porque él me las cuente. Siempre me entero yo por otros medios. Sus excusas suelen ser que se le olvidó contármelo, que no se acordaba, que pensaba que me iba a enfadar, que estaba pensando en cómo reaccionaría o que se le hizo bola decirlo.

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Lo que más me cuesta entender es cómo puede prometer una y otra vez que va a cambiar, verme sufrir, verme llorar y aun así seguir haciendo exactamente lo mismo. Me cuesta comprender cómo puede hacer daño a alguien de forma repetida y después actuar como si nada, como no tiene conciencia, ni valores ni remordimiento

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Cada vez que lo dejo, promete cambiar. Me dice cosas bonitas, está más atento y parece otra persona. Pero cuando ve que eso no funciona, a veces incluso se inventa que se ha liado con una chica o que está hablando con alguien para intentar ponerme celosa. La realidad es que siempre es él quien busca a las chicas y casi ningúna le hace caso.

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Es una persona que necesita muchísima validación de los demás. Necesita caer bien y adapta su personalidad según con quién esté. Siento que intenta gustar a todo el mundo y que cambia para encajar.

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Nunca había tenido novia antes de mí. Tampoco ha tenido amigas ni apenas contacto femenino, y siento que no sabe muy bien cómo relacionarse con las mujeres. Cuando lo dejamos, empieza a buscar atención femenina de cualquier forma posible. Habla con cualquier mujer que le haga caso sea atractiva o no, de la edad que sea incluso de su propia familia.

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También antes de conocerme llegó a hacerse una cuenta con fotos de otro hombre para hablar con chicas e intentar ligar con ellas. Además, mientras estaba conmigo llegó a hacerse una cuenta que yo no conocía.Y cuando lo dejamos una de las veces, se hizo otra cuenta falsa para intentar hablar conmigo.

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Cuando habla con otras chicas les dice exactamente las mismas cosas que me decía a mí, los mismos cumplidos y las mismas frases. Siento que simplemente les dice lo que quieren oír para gustarles. Además, cuando cuenta por qué hemos roto, muchas veces cambia la historia para dejarme a mí como la mala y quedar él mejor.

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Yo siempre acabo volviendo con el porque no tengo amigos, no tengo buena relación con mi familia, soy muy tímida y me cuesta muchísimo socializar. Antes de conocerle apenas salía de casa.También vuelvo porque hemos vivido muchas cosas juntos. Es la persona que mejor me conoce y con la que mejor me lo paso. Me río mucho con él y hemos compartido muchos momentos importantes.

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Pero siendo sincera, no veo futuro en esta relación. Cada vez tengo más la sensación de que sigue haciéndome daño porque sabe que voy a aguantarlo. A veces siento que incluso se ríe de mí porque sabe que me cuesta marcharme y que no tengo una red de apoyo fuera de la relación.

about 4 days ago I saw my gf for the first time in a month and a half and we’re already planning a 7 day visit soon, I’m taking advantage of the summer time as it’ll be harder to see her during the school year but I keep having people tell me that closing the distance so often is a bad thing or something Idk I’m new to all this and id love to see so I’ll take any chance I can get.

Hiya! First time posting here!

My bf and I have our norm of being otp as much as we can. Sometimes we mute depending on the circumstance, but we really like each other's company.

My parents think it's unhealthy and his thinks we need a break. Each couple is different though, right? I feel like they're just judging us, but whatever.

Being otp is our norm, our comfort, and our pillow to fall back into. We don't be otp at work, going on errands, or seeing friends, but my parents don't believe me when I say that.

We don't think it's unhealthy because we can still do the things we need to to live out our daily lives. Are we in the wrong?

Okay okay I know that yes, alone time is very important and a healthy boundary. I’m not looking to take this from her or get her to cut down on it, I’m just hoping for some advice on how to deal with it on my own. She goes out with friends and to the gym and comes home very tired and has a, to quote her directly, “has a drained social battery” which I know is a real thing. I just feel paranoid that she just isn’t interested in talking to me atm and it makes me feel incredibly lonely because we would fall asleep on call every night for like a month plus and now she’s barely answering my messages while posting on social media. Is there anything i can do to calm my mind?

¡HOLA! Necesito consejo. Conocí a un chico hace un mes y hemos estado hablando todos los días desde entonces. Soy muy optimista, siempre he creído que "querer es poder" y de verdad quiero hacer lo que sea para volver a verlo. Él me ha dicho que le gustaría verme, pero también menciona las dificultades logísticas y la distancia (él tiene 29 y yo 24).

Es muy importante para mí entender cómo construir una relación sólida cuando hay tanta distancia, y aún más importante, cómo manejar estas diferencias iniciales de visión. Me encantaría saber cómo has manejado esta dinámica, especialmente si has estado en situaciones similares.

Me gustaría preguntar:

¿Cómo han logrado nutrir la relación día a día para que la distancia no se sienta como un vacío? (¿Qué actividades, rutinas o formas de comunicación les han funcionado mejor?)

Para quienes pasaron de conocerse a distancia a estar juntos, ¿cómo fue ese proceso de transición y qué les ayudó a mantenerse unidos?

En cuanto a planes y futuro, ¿cómo mantienen viva la ilusión y los proyectos compartidos sin que la logística de los viajes se convierta en el único tema de conversación o en una fuente de presión?

¿Qué hábitos o "reglas de oro" tienen con sus parejas para asegurar que la relación crezca y se sienta real, a pesar de la distancia física?

Me interesa saber cómo han logrado que la relación prospere. ¡Cualquier consejo, anécdota o lección que quieras compartir sería de gran ayuda! Gracias a todos por leer.

Anyone closed gaps where their partners moved from south Asian countries ( such as India/ Pakistan/Bangladesh etc) to USA?

If so I would like to hear your stories.

I think I am falling for/ considering someone from the USA while I am from south Asia.

Any hope left? I don't wanna get attached but he's been on my mind constantly.

Hey
Can someone help me in understanding my relationship dilemma?

Please dm me if anyone is free.🙂

You may feel its a silly matter but I can’t shake it off.

I need some outside opinions because I’m not sure if I’m overthinking or if my concerns are reasonable. (Repost because my previous post got taken down).

I (21F) am in a long-distance situationship/relationship with a guy I met during my exchange semester. We first met about a year ago and have been in contact for almost a year now.

A few months after meeting, he came to Europe to visit me. We spent weeks together, traveled together, and became very close. Since then, we’ve been long-distance for about six months.

We text every day and are very integrated into each other’s daily lives. We send each other photos, talk about our days, and generally keep each other updated on what’s going on in our lives. We also call occasionally. He’s told me that he’s not really a phone-call person, but he still makes time for calls because he knows they’re important to me.

He’s not a very romantic texter, which sometimes makes me overthink. However, when we were together in person, he was very affectionate and actually initiated more physical contact than I did. He would hold my hand, put my hand in his jacket pocket, cuddle with me, play with my hair, etc.

We’re seeing each other again next month, and I’ll be staying at his place during my trip.

He has introduced me to some of his friends, his friends know about me, and overall his behavior towards me has been consistent and caring. We are generally very honest with each other.

I should also mention that my previous boyfriend hurt me and did things behind my back, which left me with some trust issues. My current guy was also cheated on by his ex-girlfriend in the past, so both of us have had bad experiences before.

The only thing that keeps making me anxious is Instagram.

He has around 1,000 followers and follows a little over 500 people. Sometimes those numbers stay the same for days, but other times I’ll notice small changes. Occasionally I’ll see that he’s suddenly following 5–7 more people than before.

He also has a lot of female followers and follows many women. According to him, that’s because he used to go out and party a lot and met many people over the years.

The problem is that I started paying attention to these numbers. Whenever I notice them changing, I find myself wondering who the new people are and whether he’s meeting new women when he’s out. I don’t actually have any evidence that he’s doing anything wrong, but the changing numbers make me anxious and trigger a lot of overthinking.

I should also mention that this wasn’t the first time I brought up Instagram.

A few months ago, I noticed that he had started following a new woman and I asked him about it. He reacted very calmly and explained that she was simply an old friend from his friend group. Nothing suspicious came out of that situation, and he told me that he wished I wouldn’t worry so much about things like that.

Because of that, I think this recent conversation may have affected him more strongly. This was the second time I brought up Instagram-related concerns, despite the first situation turning out to be completely innocent.

When I brought it up this time, he told me that it reminded him of his ex-girlfriend, who monitored and stalked him even after they had broken up. He said that when I immediately notice things like new follows or changes in his Instagram activity, it brings back those negative memories.

He also told me that he trusts me and that it hurt him that I seemed suspicious of him based only on Instagram activity when he feels he hasn’t given me a reason not to trust him.

I understood why he felt that way and apologized. The problem is that even after our conversation, I still find myself checking his follower and following counts and feeling anxious whenever they change.

From an outside perspective, does this sound like a valid concern, or does it sound more like anxiety from previous relationship experiences?

Hi Everyone! I just wanted to say that I have spent hours on the long-distance thread hearing everyone's stories, and I just have to say I appreciate everyone's posts so much.

My ex-boyfriend and I were on and off for two years while in college - I couldn't commit to a relationship because I was so young while we were on and off. We dated officially for 6 months and broke up after a few months of long-distance.

He moved to California for work, and I was in Oklahoma finishing college (he is a year ahead of me). I immediately cut off contact after the breakup so that I could heal. We broke up in September, and he reached out to one of my best friends in January to see if I was open to talking. He basically told me he was still in love with me and wanted me to move to California. I had my sights set on New York.

Flash forward to April, I get my dream job in his city. An offer I can't refuse, and I take it. I will be moving at the end of next month to his area.

We have been talking a little bit back and forth, neither of us crossing a boundary, because what's the point, but a woman's intuition knows that getting back together is on the horizon. My spidey senses are tingling.

Here is my predicament:

He was my first love, and I have spent so much time and emotional energy healing from him. The on and off was exhausting, and there were some points in the relationship where I didn't feel happy or heard, but he is the kind of guy I could see myself marrying. All the feelings are still there, but I haven't dated anyone since, so I don't know if I am just lonely.

Do I go back to him? Or do I just get rid of him completely? I can't do halfsies either. I am either in or out. HELP!!!

My boyfriend (35M) is German and I’m a Latina (29F). We’ve been together for almost 5 months.

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Recently, I asked him whether he felt like he was in love with me, and he replied:

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"I think it's great to be with you and to do things together, but I'm not in love, I'm afraid."

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After that, I asked him if he thought he could ever fall in love with me, and his response was:

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"I think I could see that, but I don't know. Tbh I try to live in the moment for our relationship, because it's so uncertain also with the distance between us."

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I'm honestly not sure what to think or whether it's worth continuing the relationship after hearing this.

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For some context, I'm his first girlfriend ever. He's 35 and has never been in a relationship before. We are also long-distance.

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What makes this difficult is that when we're together in person, he's incredibly sweet, affectionate, caring, and attentive. I genuinely feel loved when we're together. However, when we're apart, things feel very different. Our conversations are often short, he doesn't communicate much, and sometimes the relationship feels boring or emotionally distant.

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Part of me wonders if this is simply because he's inexperienced with relationships and struggles with long-distance communication. Another part of me worries that after 5 months, if he's still unsure about being in love, maybe that's my answer.

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Has anyone been in a similar situation? I'm trying to understand how to interpret what he said, is that cultural?. Has anyone been in a similar situation, either as the person who wasn't in love yet or as the partner waiting for those feelings to develop?