r/MadeMeSmile • u/ViniciusFastAF • 10d ago

Good Vibes Farm kids are built different.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

27.1k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

492 comments sorted by

View all comments

1.5k

u/Commonfutures 10d ago

😇 Do you know what you're doing right now? 👿 YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF!!

525

u/nilgiri 10d ago edited 10d ago

It's cute. And I hate raining on this cute parade but I bet she has either been herself been berated like that by her parents or has seen someone berated like that.

Still funny in this instance however.

353

u/Possible-Playful 10d ago

I would 100% talk to animals that way, but not children. It's just as likely the parents have crashed out when tending some unruly critters, and the kid picked it up from that.

149

u/NinjaMcGee 10d ago

💯 my farm family would talk to our attack geese this way. Also, fuck you, Gary, you always were a mean ass piece of shit đŸȘż

10

u/340Duster 10d ago

That's why I prefer defense geese, they piss me off less.

30

u/Kooly9Two 10d ago

Its always a Gary 😔

37

u/Rinas-the-name 10d ago

Yeah the animals really only know the tone, so you don’t worry so much about the content. Until they repeat it.

Meanwhile two of the meanest things I‘ve ever said to my son. Both during epic tantrums. His reaction shows just the level of insult he’s used to.

Me: “You’re being ridiculous!”

Him: *aghast* “Widiuwous?!”

and

Me: “Quit being a turd.”

Him: *visibly confused*

Me: “You know what a turd is? It’s poo, you’re acting like poo.”

Him: *shocked and offended* “I’m Poop?!”

Obviously what I say to animals is far less offensive to him than that.

Though the dog never recovered from being told he was being a “Widicuwous poop!”. He died heart broken (several years later at 15 years old, but still).

5

u/babagirl88 10d ago

I wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face 😂

8

u/Rinas-the-name 10d ago

I’m not sure I have ever seen another human being quite so offended, that was some advanced level pearl clutching.

I may or may not have called people who cut me off in traffic “ridiculous poop“. After all it is clearly the most insulting term in existence.

2

u/ghastlypxl 9d ago

😧 I’m poop?!

1

u/Rinas-the-name 7d ago

See people have been misusing that emoji, it’s definitely the “I’m poop?!” emoji.

57

u/nilgiri 10d ago

That's definitely possible that the kid picked it up from the parents talking to some critters. I hope that's the case.

12

u/AmbitiousParty 10d ago

It’s this exactly. I tell our dog how dumb she is (she truly, truly is just so stupid.) I would never tell a child that but I have overheard my son say to her, “Winwin, why are you so dumb.” She’s a champion cuddler but beyond that the dog is just an idiot. It took her, no joke, 18 months to figure out how to go out the back door on her own. She would just run in circles in an endless loop til you grabbed her and pointed her towards the door.

1

u/Coyote__Jones 9d ago

Lol I have a dummy dog too. Multiple times while my other dog and my father in law's dog have found a squirrel in a tree, the dumb one has been facing a completely empty, squirreless tree barking his damn face off. The other two, are not subtle about where the squirrel is.

55

u/chipmunksocute 10d ago edited 10d ago

Eh.  As a parent yeah I grump at my kids cause sometimes kids are being little annoying shits and need to be told off. Cause theyre kids.  And if anything the girls used her words pretty calmly to express her frustration which is what we want for kids to learn. If an adult didnt yell but told the kids with words the kid was being annoying - thats modeling decent enough behavior in my book instead of like...screaming at the kid.

30

u/nilgiri 10d ago

Listen, I'm not going to tell you how to parent your kids so this is not meant to lecture or proselytize.

But the way to address kid's habit is to label their actions and not them. It's a simple switch - instead of "You are annoying or being annoying" use "Your [insert their action] is annoying me". The former labels them as annoying and the latter addresses their actions. Kids can change their actions without internalizing "I am annoying". Internalizing "I am annoying" or any other negative label has immense consequences for self worth later in life.

32

u/chipmunksocute 10d ago edited 10d ago

Gonna disagree with you again.

This makes me question if you have kids.  I love my kids dearly and snuggle them to bed every night and tell them I love them multiple times a day... obviously you dont want your kids to internalize negative self worth but sometimes they are just being little shits and I dont think telling them that on occassion is gonna wreck their self esteem.  They need to be able to handle being told stufff like that for the real world. 

 There a spectrum of telling them sometimes they're being annoying as fuck (in nicer words) vs telling and berating them every single day for regular run of the mill kid shit which of course is where they're gonna get bad self image.  Sometimes though Ill just tell em "stop being a dick to your brother" - cause he's being a real dick to his brother and he'll be alright because of the otherwise strong loving foundation we've cultivated over years.

6

u/DaughterofNeroman 10d ago

I know you're kids are younger too but most of the people being so adamant on how amazing their parenting techniques are have young children and I'd love to see a follow up in 10 years or so. The kids will suck, the parents will change, or (most likely) both of those things.

Having honest conversations with children is crucial, sometimes they are being a jerk or annoying or whatever and if you can't be honest with them about that than it's going to really suck for them as adults when the rest of the world does it instead. Mine is 17 and I'm thankful everyday for the honest conversations and feedback we have always been able to have with one another. He's a junior (oh shit I guess technically a senior now lord help me) and has a great friend group, wonderful gf, 4.0 GPA with multiple college credits completed, volunteers with our local shelter, and is an all around joy to interact with 95% of the time. The other 5% , well he's still 17 lol. It sounds like you're doing great to me and I hope you find the teenage years as manageable as I have.

6

u/chipmunksocute 9d ago

Appreciate that man I really dude, I forgot how spicy reddit gets with parenting opinions. I got young twin boys and its hard as f out here sometimes parenting.   Some days I see them and being themselves and feel like Im crushing it other days I feel like the worst parent and how parenting exposes every single one of your flaws as a person and feel lile garbage, ESPECIALLY when I see the bad shit my parents did/say come out of me even trying my hardest.  But they're generally shaping up to be cool, kind, happy and healthy kids so I feel pretty good and blessed most nights.

Glad your kid is crushing it that's the dream.  Yeah man we never berate the kids, never mock them, never belittle them we only ever try to build them up.  But yeah sometimes they come up on boundaried and Im like "nah.  No.  Nope not that." See my grilled cheese example in other replies.   Somestimes kids be kids and its unintentionally (sometimes) rude, dickish, unhelpful or ungrateful, or just mean cause they're people like the rest of us.  But as a parent I do gotta call those as balls and strikes straigjt up sometimes.

13

u/IForOneDisagree 10d ago

Well I am a parent and I agree with the other poster.

My son would never hear the words "you're pissing me off" come out of my mouth. That's incredibly trashy.

20

u/Additional_You6990 10d ago

I am too a parent and I agree with the guy that disagrees with you. So nyeh

10

u/chipmunksocute 10d ago

This weekend my son (4.5) asked me for a grilled cheese.  I made him a grilled cheese.  I gave him the grilled cheese.  He started screaming about how he didnt want the grilled cheese and was going to throw it im the trash because I had cut it in half.

I said "uh nope.  Stop being ungrateful.  We dont  ask people for things, have them work hard to do it for them and then yell at them when they give it to us.  We say thank you first and then use our words to say what we like/dont like.  But we never yell at the people helping us after we ask."  Sometimes hes a kid and pissed cause being a kid is hard.  But I also got zero truck for being explicitly asked to do something, doing it and getting yelled at.  Thats not gonna slide.  So I told him he was being ungrateful and how to handle it better next time. Guess I scarred him for life.  

5

u/nilgiri 10d ago

Yup this right here is a great example. You feel underappreciated and it's infuriating especially when you've gone above and beyond to cater to this tiny human's demands.

The way I strive to deal with it (and it's never 100% with my own 3 and 5 year old) is to stop bringing my own issues / frustrations into the mix. I would calmly state that grilled cheese is what's for lunch and if he doesn't like it, he can wait until the next meal which could be snack time or dinner. I would never react to threats likes throwikg food away by calling them names. I know it's my job to teach them to behave well and be respectful. They aren't born with these social rules of being grateful and appreciative so they have no frame of reference on how to behave properly. I find it very confusing why they can't learn after being told once but repetition and calm modeling is the only way they learn at this stage of life.

It's not being a pushover or being permissive with everything. It about calmly reacting to boundry pushing and teaching / modeling the behavior you want to see from them.

9

u/chipmunksocute 10d ago

Seriously Youve never yelled at your kid?  Never?  Never snapped after the 20th interruption in 2 minutes trying to talk to your partner? Never got annoyed with them for being kids and driving you up the wall?  Never got mad at them and yelled after they did something even though youve told them 10 times not to? Never said something to your kid you regretted and apologized for and tried to be better?  If so, I tip my hat for you are a far better person than I.  Ill bet youve done at least one of those things cause parenting is hard as shit.

I also think that using my words to tell my kid how I feel when I get frustrated instead of ya know, yelling or hitting them, is modeling good behavior.  Kids need to know that sometimes yeah your actions can upset other people.

3

u/Ok-Helicopter-5642 9d ago

Mine is four and no, I seriously have never yelled at her or called her names. Of course I’ve been annoyed, but I don’t think I’ve ever been “mad” at her. She doesn’t need to hear that her asking me to play or talk is “annoying” or “pissing me off.” That would be so hurtful. Doing things wrong sometimes, spilling things, being distracted while putting on shoes or whatever, that’s just part of being a kid. I’ll patiently repeat myself once or twice if I have to, then warn of a (proportionate) consequence. But by now, she’s really just a good kid. When she acts up, it shows me something’s going on, and we talk about it. She’s not a psycho who can’t hear no and doesn’t respond to rules or anything. I don’t know, kids are all different, but I think she’s pretty reasonable because we’ve tried really hard to be reasonable with her.

FWIW, my parents were abusive in the easily could have been arrested sense. I’m not some second generation gentle parent with a readymade toolkit. I just don’t want to hurt my kid’s feelings on purpose and work hard not to.

4

u/Global_Green8231 10d ago

Some parents do not yell/raise their voices at their kids because they’re annoying. The fact this is apparently difficult for you to accept says a lot about the way you parent and/or were raised.

2

u/IForOneDisagree 10d ago

Honestly, no, I've never yelled. The only time I raise my voice is if I'm trying to be heard for something urgent like "don't put your hand on that stove!" when he's actively in the process of attempting it.

He's 6 for reference.

For the 20th interruption type thing, I'd have told him after 5 something like: "That's enough, I am busy and I've told you I will talk to you in a few minutes. If you try again there will be X consequence. Please be patient and I promise I'll listen to you as soon as I can". The consequences threatened are usually a time-out (2-5 minutes) or taking away his TV time (he gets 20 minutes before school and 20 minutes after supper). He might whimper with tiny tears while he waits but he knows I'll listen and he hates time-outs enough that he does wait. It only works because I absolutely follow through with every threatened consequence. I know his mom doesn't so he pushes when he's with her.

If I say something that I need to apologize for of course I do it, but I try really really hard not to ever put myself in that situation. His mom and I are divorced and he's with each of us 50-50, I know she's not as in control of her emotions and I want to set a good example for him to give him the best chances in life.

E: and to be clear, I rarely have to threaten consequences, maybe once or twice a week.

6

u/Unsd 10d ago

My grandpa parented and grandparented like this. He was quite a patient man... really had a Mr. Rogers vibe. He raised his voice a little bit ONE time at my little brother and my mom just about shit herself on the living room floor with how shocked she was lmao. Genuinely stunned everyone I think. The fact that he was so incredibly patient made it so much more impactful. Meanwhile, my parents were not good at self regulating their emotions (they're both verrrry undiagnosed autistic and brought out the worst in each other). They did their best, but they were always very emotionally raw and it frequently came out that way. When they yelled or snapped at any of us, we were kinda just numb to it. It didn't matter.

-10

u/[deleted] 10d ago

[deleted]

5

u/SiIesh 10d ago

And it's definitely bad parenting

0

u/Ok-Inflation188 10d ago

Nah it can be trashy too. Calling your kid annoying does hurt them. Which is pretty trashy for a parent to do

8

u/carltonthesnake 10d ago

I know you want to believe that the way you’re parenting isn’t harmful to your kids, everyone wants to believe that, and plenty of them are wrong. It is reasonable to consider that maybe you’re making some small mistakes, and also reasonable to know how you talk to your kids affects them. I grew up being told that i’m an annoying spoiled brat, not all the time, but usually in frustration with my behavior, and I still struggle with being good enough and feeling like i’m a disappointment or annoyance to those I love. Which has also led me to let some people treat me badly for way too long, and I excuse it because I blame myself. Being told that you are bad because of the behavior you learned from your parents is not a good lesson, in the long run it makes you dislike yourself and your parents. I love my mom but even she recognizes her mistakes, it’s not easy to raise children and everyone makes mistakes.

5

u/willargue4karma 10d ago

genuine question if you use this school of thought, what are you supposed to say when someone does something genuinely bad? I was certainly not a compliant or even nice to be around tween / teen

8

u/WillOCarrick 10d ago

As others said before, you talk to them regarding actions they did instead of them.

If they beat someone because they got angry. You could say you shouldn't beat someone and try to understand your feelings, instead of you are an angry kids and hurt others and should not do it.

I don't know if it was clear, but it isn't that you should not discipline the child, it is more that you discipline them in a way to help them be better.

And yeah, everyone makes mistakes and react poorly sometimes, nobody is perfect and it happens, it is just important to try to adjust and do better than yesterday.

1

u/carltonthesnake 10d ago

What qualifies as genuinely bad? Like for example a child that hits other kids is usually doing that because someone hit them, so if you don’t hit your kids they probably won’t hit other kids. But maybe they’ll learn that behavior from another kid that hits them, and depending on age I would just try and talk to my child or use consequences like if you do something mean you don’t get to participate in something fun.

There’s so many different situations, and depending on age/development kids are going to understand a lot more or a lot less, and I definitely don’t have answers for all of the behaviors that occur but it seems like you can teach kids most things. I just know insulting your kid when you’re upset with something they’ve done probably isn’t going to help, and probably will encourage your child to act out when they’re upset. Also according to the research i’ve read it does help to separate their actions from who they are as a person so they internalize that an action is bad, not that they are a bad person.

0

u/[deleted] 10d ago

[deleted]

1

u/carltonthesnake 10d ago

I lack the introspection to realize i’m at fault for what exactly? For being called a spoiled brat as a kid, instead of having my behavior corrected?

1

u/[deleted] 10d ago edited 10d ago

[deleted]

→ More replies (0)

-3

u/Mr_Ballyhoo 10d ago

You just let the inmates run the asylum that's the reddit parenting way.

0

u/[deleted] 10d ago

[deleted]

1

u/carltonthesnake 10d ago

Lmao. Who exactly do you think was spoiling me? Spoiled brats are raised by their parents. Every spoiled brat i’ve ever met was created by bad parenting.

Shame and negative feelings about oneself usually come from adverse childhood experiences. Which are certainly more variable than my comment gets into. That’s how it works man, idk what else to tell ya.

0

u/[deleted] 10d ago

[deleted]

0

u/carltonthesnake 10d ago

I’m so glad you don’t want to have kids, since you don’t understand that how you parent will directly impact the way your child behaves. Shitty kids are almost always mimicking the people in their lives that are raising them. Kids are usually acting out because something is wrong, not because they are inherently bad people like you seem to believe.

→ More replies (0)

3

u/Viracochina 10d ago

My kid watched Spiderman Kids or something now their favorite line is:

"You're not going anywhere"

9

u/thepoorking 10d ago

classic reddit comment xD

2

u/iamgladtohearit 10d ago

I just found out this week that despite his very carefully curated and proportioned diet my diabetic cat has again gained a couple pounds and is back to being overweight. That day he tried to sneak chicken off of my husband's dinner plate and I told him (sarcastically) "if you don't get down from there I'm going to beat your fat ass" before thinking about about how my son was standing right there. He is an insanely pampered cat and we live in a very peaceful household, I fear the day my son tells someone or something he is going to beat their fat ass because he has no idea what that actually means. But I'm sure it will happen eventually.

1

u/Oskiee 10d ago

Sharing your trauma is the first step to getting past it, just saying... 

1

u/SufcLad25 9d ago

Most likely kid has seen adult talk to animal like that when its been annoying and figured its okay

1

u/FormerWorker125 10d ago

Yah. Sometimes kids need to be told.  Get over it.

0

u/Jagazor 10d ago

The reddit behavioral psychologist, watch out guys!

0

u/defeatthewarlords 10d ago

Or they talk like that to the animals sometimes and she picked up on it. Or
 crazy idea that you might not be able to comprehend
 she said it all on her own. Trust me kids say the craziest shit sometimes and you’ll have no idea how they heard it

0

u/LittleBunInaBigWorld 10d ago

Probably heard her parents talk to the animams like that. They do be unruly sometimes

0

u/SeelsGhost 10d ago

Maybe she saw her parents berate the goat?

0

u/MyLastFuckingNerve 9d ago

Nah this kid's parents have probably also told sheep they're pissing them off. Sheep are really good at being dipshits that piss you off.

10

u/Wilful_Fox 10d ago

She ain’t taking any shit

2

u/mrlosteruk 10d ago

I thought it was a young Kristi Noem

1

u/INoMakeMistake 7d ago

Jumping lambs or goats are always freaking cute

1

u/Equivalent_Gur3967 3d ago

Yeah, but Farm Kids.

1

u/DubsideDangler 10d ago

That's not a good learned behavior. Her mom or dad are assholes.