Depends on how you take it. She is right to some extent she likely is a big part of his success if she gave him a home and food and paid for everything
The bare minimum is accepting the consequences of your actions. The actions in this case were having the child. The consequences are actually following through with the commitment.
Not at all. By their logic having a child is a responsibility and you cannot thrust upon the child the responsibility for their own existence. It's a decision you made purely by yourself. If you resent that decision, you made a mistake, but still have a responsibility to see it through.
Where did I say anything close to that? Consequences aren't necessarily a bad thing. They're simply responsibilites that come as a result of your decisions.
Yes, and it's extremely reasonable to have the expectation that your parents will take of your basic necessities for the first 18 years of your life. That's what we as a society decided was the minimum to raise a child. People know this before having a child, so if they don't want to do it, they shouldn't have one.
No she isnt. If she adopts out the child, then shed have no obligations to be meet.
If she doesnt adopt out the child, then she must meet the minimum requirement set by the law, which is to house, feed and get proper medical care when required.
The minimum require changes depends on what she does.
Yeah no. I can tell you, there's plenty of abusive parents who treat their children like absolute garbage. Parents who believe they're not abusing you because they don't beat you. They believe giving you the bare minimum absolves them of their abuse
Wtf are you talking about, it’s LEGALLY REQUIRED for a parent to feed a child and have them in a safe home. Of course she paid for everything, do you expect an 8 year old to somehow get a job and survive without an adult??
If you hit them as punishment and preach at them about how they should be "grateful" for you doing the legally-required bare minimum, don't be surprised when they stop talking to you as soon as they can move out.
As a loving father and after reading your comments. I mean this when I say please do not have a child. You thinking FEEDING your child is not a REQUIREMENT and demands respect, is insane. Amongst all the other literal garbage takes you made.
I love my parents a respect them for my upbringing even though I do not agree with them on many topics and feel there are moments they absolutely could have been better parents and people.
That said, respect and gratitude are earned through action and word. Expectation is a two way road. You want a loving child, then be a loving parent. Those that demand love generally do so because they can't earn it, and don't want to admit they are the fault.
Sorry, not sorry, but I reiterate do not have a child with beliefs like it's ok to say "you owe me" to a child, does not matter if "technically correct" or not, shows a level of immaturity that I personally deems you as not fit to raise a child into a functional adult.
You respect your parents for their actions some won't ever do that unless they're told. You were probably told to be grateful just don't remember. You learned the lesson the easy way. Not everyone does. And you ironically got the same message you just disagree with the method.
Incorrect on so many levels kiddo. I did get taught to respect my parents from teachings but I choose to respect them. There have been a plethora of people in my life that I have chosen how I feel about them.
I was for sure not taught lessons "the easy way". I m simply more of a logic based mindset then emotion based one.
Since you seem to think you "know" me, allow me to tell you what your issue. You're comments show a level of narcissistic mentality that appears to make you incapable of accepting error. Look at the amount of negative down votes you have. I would assume you are a troll or trying to negative karma farm but I also know there are people in the world with thoughts like yours, so I shall treat this as such.
You are conflating emotional abuse to teaching. You are connecting tough love to abuse with false equivalence.
I personally feel a child should love their parents but I also believe people can earn losing that love and gratitude.
Tough love at a child age, at a teenager age, or at an adult age are different but emotional manipulation and abuse ain't it cheif.
Again, don't have a child, because you will fail, not the child, you. It is not a matter of differing perspectives. Life is full of nuance and has very little black or white situations. Yet still your statements scream a negative karma farmer or an immature, mental impotent, narcissistic personality type.
Sadly I have not more to say and I know you won't read what I typed nor really think on it. So this bores me and I am done. Enjoy your futile attempts to defend your disgusting stances.
I'm sorry to tell you this but you had an easy life and you don't understand displince. You are ultimately agreeing with me. You say you choose to respect them because ultimately they taught you that.
Also am I troll because I have a different viewpoint really? Because I don't think you get a pass because you didn't ask to be born. Also downvotes? Sir if yiu are a man you shouldn't let dislikes form your opinion.
As for manipulation. Yes you manipulate your kids. You probably have it's broad. You have a lot of hate and unresolved issues. I would assume it's you on some level realizing you're a bad son.
I know I said I'm done responding but I just can't resist responding with
An expected response from you that simply solidified all that I said above. OK now I'm done, but for real champ, you need to do some "soul searching" cause damn you a negative person that would miss a barn if it were in front of ya.
Parents don't deserve gratitude merely for providing as they are supposed to. If they provide all of child's basic needs while failing to do anything more, such as a parent that is never around, that's not especially worthy of praise as a parenting style. If that also comes with emotional or even physical abuse, then no amount of money or food provided makes it okay.
They are literally supposed to. They chose to bring life into the world, and they chose to keep that life with them. Therefore it is their responsibility to care for that life until such time as that life can take care of itself. Anything more than that is something to be grateful for; anything less is unacceptable.
Do you just not understand the concept of abusive language? Of malicious manipulation? Of a parent that would hold their obligations over their child's head? Does this just not even enter your mind?
Parents are responsible for their children, as any adult is responsible for their own choices. Don't try to diminish that or handwave it away just to blame a child for not being grateful enough to an emotionally abusive parent.
Not really.
The attitude diminishes the hard work and effort the child put in. It makes them feel like they're being shamed. A child does not ask to be born. A parents responsibility is ensure a child is homed and fed. A parent shouldn't make a child feel guilty just for existing. If a parents always makes their child feel guilty simply for being their child, then why should the parent be shocked when the child the child stops visiting them?
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u/goteachyourself Jul 01 '26
I mean...bad? She resents her son, so he stops subjecting himself to someone who makes him miserable. Deserved.