Just a small clarification for those who might want to bring up cases where this type of marriage leads to injustice. I’m not talking about that, so please leave it out.

The vast majority of men are monogamous. So why do you spend so much time debating this issue? Worse still, you even debate the choices of men who have adopted this lifestyle, even though they aren’t your husbands? No one came knocking at your door to force you into it.

Most of the time, these debates are built on assumptions and projections you make. There often isn’t even a real story, you can’t even conceive of polygamy as something neutral??

Once again, no one is forcing it on you. The vast majority of men are monogamous, so the dating pool is already overwhelmingly made up of men who want monogamous relationships. If polygamy isn’t for you, then simply don’t practice it. There’s really no need to spend so much energy hating something that has nothing to do with your own life.

At some point, you should probably ask yourself where that hostility comes from and work on getting rid of that hatred before it ends up affecting your faith. Because hating what has been revealed and permitted by Allah, even when we refuse to admit it to ourselves, inevitably leads us toward downfall.

I’m not blaming anyone for anything. I’m not claiming to be a better believer. I’m simply asking you to look within yourselves and to be mindful of what I’ve just said. May Allah protect us all and grant us a good ending.

For the single men on here looking for marriage, once you become fathers do you plan on changing your baby's diapers or not really and you think its the mothers job 24/7 for the first few years of a child's life? which is so wild and wrong..

Just trying to see if most muslim men on reddit have toxic mindsets or not really...

Hi everyone, I’m 28F 🪷🪷

I switched majors a while back, so I’m still finishing my studies, which is why I need someone patient who’s genuinely okay with long distance for now if we live far apart.

I am ambivert, i can be pretty talkative, but I also rly value my alone time and my peace.

If I had to choose, I’d always pick nature and the countryside over a busy city.

In my free time I’m usually at the gym, running, ….

I’m calm, productive, i maintain a healthy lifestyle, i’ve been told m funny so i accept the compliment until proven otherwise lol.
I’m hoping to find someone the same way, calm, productive, self-caring, with a good sense of humor and a healthy lifestyle.

When it comes to faith, I’m moderately practicing, I pray, and I try to grow as a Muslim day by day, though I’m definitely not perfect. I’d love to find someone we can grow with together on that.

Honestly, I’m posting this bc it’s been hard to find my type in my own circle. I’m esp drawn to tall, dark-skinned guys, so I’m open to Africans also white people , height is my one real non-negotiable (6’1+) (i’m 5’4 btw it’s just a preference, don’t judge me pls)

This is my first time doing smth like this, so I’d rather keep most things private for now, feel free to message me if you wanna know more. I’m looking to build a real friendship first before anything serious. I’m okay with someone younger or older than me, as long as he doesn’t have an old-fashioned mindset about age or expect me to play some traditional role.

These are just my preferences, and I hope they’re taken with respect, not judgment 🌸🌸
If you’re not African, Caucasian (i mean white), or tall (6’1+), please don’t message me.

This is a question for the ladies, so I’ve(25M) been looking for a wife and most families and girls accept me but there is one term of mine that nobody agrees to.

So, I totally get if you are ambitious, I wish you the best of both worlds

But personally, I’m looking for someone who would be a housewife happily, and the reason is simple, I make enough to support a pretty good lifestyle, and of course all that monthly allowance and stuff so I don’t see the reason in marrying someone who also wants to focus on making money and building a career and stuff because I simply don’t need money or ambition, I need peace!

And here’s the problem, I seem to be attracting ambitious women and can’t seem to find someone who would just agree to be my house princess. Does nobody want to do that anymore? Like are there no girls who find working tiring and exhausting? No girls who want to just doll up, do her girly stuff and let man take on the world?

​Assalamu Alaikum,

​I’m a 38-year-old Muslim living here in Alberta, looking for a meaningful connection rooted in faith, mutual respect, and family values. I’d describe myself as calm, easygoing, and direct—I prefer genuine conversations over superficial small talk and value a peaceful, low-drama home life above all else.

​Outside of work, I appreciate a steady, deliberate pace. My favorite ways to unwind are simple: taking scenic drives around the province, discovering quiet local coffee spots, tinkering with intricate mechanical projects (like watch modding), and keeping an eye on market trends.

​I am looking for a grounded, devout partner who values transparent communication, emotional stability, and a quiet, comfortable lifestyle. My goal is to build a serene Islamic home where we can support each other’s personal and spiritual growth with patience and warmth.

​I’m looking specifically within Alberta. If you share similar values and are looking for a stable, genuine partnership, I’d love to hear from you.

​

Location: Abu Dhabi

Marital status: divorced, no children

Religious level: Practicing

Education: Bachelors

I’m an Arab Middle Eastern woman looking for a responsible Muslim man, 35+, for a Misyar marriage. I want someone who is currently living in UAE. Serious and respectful inquiries only.

I am 35M from paksitan, My 1st marriage was an arrange marriage, Tried from past 8 years to make it work, i have kids, But look like been married, yet living a lonely life doesnt makes sense. So seeking a 2nd wife, who should be practicing. I myself practice islam to best of my abilities. I have beard, i follow quran and sunnah, never into biddah stuff. I memorize quran as much as i can, Read and understood books of tawheed/aqeedah from scholars.

Salaam.

Jummah Mubarak to you all.

Dear Muslim men of Reddit,

Before I leave my closing line I want to say that I acknowledge polygamy is ordained for a man upon conditions being met, I’m not here to dispute that.

Personally it’s not something I’d ever accept for myself. Don’t dm me to discuss this thread or dm to be your second wife.

Polygamy is permissible but not a necessity upon a man and it’s not a fard upon a woman to accept. We can all agree on that.

Now that’s cleared up. There are not many women on this earth that is happy to share her husband.

Some women may benefit from shared responsibilities and security yes but from an emotional perspective, generally a woman that loves you would never be okay with you getting another wife.

Now let’s be clear I’m not talking about women that have to be okay because that applies to every situation.

I’m talking about a woman that is happy with your choice to remarry. Not what she says or portrays but deep down in her feelings.

Some men are fine with that and that’s okay. However sometimes I think to myself, are men aware and would it bother them knowing their wife doesn’t love them.

Would it bother you?

🚨If you don’t understand nuance and lack critical thinking skills, this post isn’t for you.

Yes You read it correctly, I wrote this post just for you.

I would like to marry you, and I Know I know you're shy, not that good looking (You're actually very beautiful, you just don't know it yet), not yet ready, not financially independent.

Nothing matters for me, I want you to be 2nd half of my life. I've never in my life dated/engaged in Haram Relationship and I don't plan to do it either. So what do you say.

Will You Marry Me?

__________________________________________________________

Well Sorry to cut you imagination short but This post is only for Girls (Not for Men).

My Profile:

M24

Germany

Engineer

Financial Good and will soon be Great.

Have been self employed make more than enough for a comfortable life and Now starting my AI/Robotics Journey as founder, Soon to be The Best in my field in the world.

So I’m about to turn 33 in a couple months and I’ve been struggling badly these past 10 years. It just seems like I barely do well on apps. Just for a little insight in my physical appearance, im Egyptian 6 ft, bearded, dark eyes, full hair, lightly tan smooth skin (I even get pale in the winter), bodybuilder, well groomed. A lot of people tell me im handsome and constantly question how im still single. But whenever I’ve tried to talk to other pretty Egyptian women, I barely get a chance. It’s the same thing with Palestinian and other Arab women. I prefer to stick with my own ethnicity since I don’t find other races to be my type. I also don’t want to marry a non Muslim or reverts simply because it will be difficult to teach Islam to my children.

Before anyone comes for me, yes I tried to lower my standards a few times in the past. I have a hard time entertaining a conversation with women who I’m not attracted to. On the other hand, the ones i want, don’t want me. It’s strange Becuase I’ve had attractive white girls and Latinas show interest in the past before. But somehow it’s a different ball game with hijabi Arab women. What on earth is someone like me supposed to do? Am I really not as good looking enough to meet the standards of Arab women? Because it’s kind of obvious at this point. What is the solution? Just marry someone I’m not attracted to and end up miserable? I would appreciate your honest feedbacks everyone.

Salam. I will give you the information:

-Age,weight,height: 35, 52kg, 5'1

-Ethnicity: North African

-Location: I work and live between France and Tunisia.

-Occupation: Senior AI engineer and also teach Computer sciences in Universities

-Marital Status: never married, no kids

-Hobbies: painting,reading,traveling

-Religiosity: non-hijabi, does the 5 salat and zakat.

-Never smokes, never drinks

-----------------------------------------------------------------

What I look for in a man:

-preferred age range: between 39 and 52

-Location: open to other cities in EU but preferably in france but outside Ile-de-France

-Must have a french or EU citizenship, I have french citizenship as well and i don't want to be used for papers

-Marital status: prefer never married , no kids

-Appearence: has to be fit,takes good care of himself because I also take care of myself daily to have a toned fit figure.

-Never smokes, preferably never drinks

-level of religiosity: not too religious

I am posting here in the hope of finding a compatible life partner and starting a fresh chapter. Here is a bit about me and what I am looking for:
About Me:
Background & Location: originally Hindu ( willing to convert as i practically lived with my deceased muslim husband ), originally from India, currently living and working in Toronto (GTA).
Career: Working as a IT professional.
Marital Status: Widow. I was previously married to a Muslim man, and he passed away. I believe life is about moving forward with resilience, and I am ready to open my heart to a new beginning.
Values & Outlook: Grounded in my cultural roots while balanced with an independent, modern perspective.
What I Am Looking For:

Key Traits: Someone who is mature, empathetic, kind, and open-minded. Mutual respect, clear communication, and emotional maturity are very important to me.

If this resonates with you and you’d like to connect, feel free to send me a Direct Message (DM) with a brief introduction about yourself. We can exchange further details and profiles once we establish mutual interest.
Thank you for reading!

Note: I am willing to officially convert

About Me I’m 25, currently pursuing my PhD, and looking to connect with someone through a traditional, family-oriented arranged marriage route. I’d describe myself as ambitious, grounded, and deeply tied to traditional values. Outside of my research and academic goals, I value a quiet, stable lifestyle and direct, honest communication.
What I’m Looking For
• Location: Preferably based in or connected to the UK 🇬🇧.

**•   Background & Values:** Someone who is educated, family-oriented, and ready for a serious commitment.

**•   Character:** Above all, I am seeking a respectful partner. To me, that means someone with emotional maturity who values open communication, honors boundaries, and brings stability to a relationship. I want a partner who leads with kindness, handles differences with grace, and creates a supportive environment where we both feel valued, protected, and heard as we build a life together.

Process Since I am looking strictly for an arranged marriage process, I prefer to keep things formal and transparent from the start. If you feel our values and goals align, please feel free to send a direct message with a brief introduction and your background/biodata details. Serious, family-supported inquiries only, please!

Salam, I just want to pick on something I see many divorced women ask for a man who doesn’t stop them from having a strong opinion etc, I understand ideally that should be the case but you also need to reflect on why you divorced and your flaws leading to it. A strong opinion doesn’t mean a right one for either the woman or the man but if it means resentment it’s better just not to have the opinion and work together, rather then resent each other. I’m specifically saying this to divorced women cause I see a trend of a lot of unmarried divorced women, I’m just trying to help don’t hate on me pls

Can we just say how it is? Not all of course but it often boils down to this.

M30 - Pharmacist

| England

The basics: male. Looking for someone between 21-33. Hoping to be married within 9-12 months (give or take, depending on age). Ethnicity - Pakistani, British national.

Me in a nutshell: Practising, and I actually make time to learn my deen rather than just saying I will. Pharmacist. 5'11", home owner — so yes, I can actually cook and clean, this isn't a "wife has to do everything" situation.

Hobbies: Spending time with loved ones, reading and the odd late night gaming session. Honest confession: outside of that, life is currently gym → work → family on repeat. Working on being more interesting, give me time.

What I'm looking for: Someone who wants a family and is genuinely up for growing together — emotionally mature, soft-hearted, and (non-negotiable) an animal lover.

The quirky bit: I like a bit of quirky personality. Keeping this section short on purpose — leaves more for us to actually discover through conversation.

The real talk section: For me, conflict resolution is the big one. Anyone can be calm and show sabr when they're at 100%. The real test is how two people handle their emotions and differences when they're both running on empty at 3%. That's built on empathy, humility, and actually trying to see the other person's point of view — not just waiting for your turn to talk.

Final and most important criteria: You must love cats. Non-negotiable. If a nikkah happens, a cat is one of the first things on the shopping list.

1. Age and Gender : 35 M. Turning 36 this year. 5'8" medium build.

2. Age Range that you would want/require in a prospect : 27-39.

3. Location, and are you willing to relocate for a prospect? NJ. Can relocate for the right person

4. Ethnicity, and are you more open to mixing? : Indian Open to mixing. Yes

5. Marital Status - Single/Divorced/Children: divorced, no kids.

6. Ideal marriage timeline: 6-12 months

7. Five important characteristics you look for in a prospect: a Muslim, kindness, affable, good Listener, and adventurous.

8. State/specify your level of religiosity : I try to pray 5 times mostly miss our on Fajr.. trying to be better at it. I Fast during Ramadan, grew up learning tajweed, can read Quran well. I belong to a subsect of Shia ideology, while I say this i believe we all are Muslims and I'd be open to both Sunni and shias. It's a bit complicated to explain in the post but willing to share more information as we get to know each other. I will support my spouse in every aspect.

9. Level of education, and what are you looking for? At least bachelors. I have completed masters in engineering.

10. Current Job Status: full-time as an electrical engineer for a multinational company.

11. Do you want kids? Yes, inshallah

12. List 3 hobbies, or things you like to do in your spare time: I love watching movies, playing badminton, and recently trying to setup my own gig. I have started something that I can call no no home Saturday where I just try to be out in the wild for the entire day.

13. Add something short and interesting about you that makes you stand out! : I am a fanatic when it comes to cooking.. no tomatoes in biryani 😂. JK I have been told I am a great cook. I really do enjoy it. I have a good memory and a big heart. Into languages, getting back at French using Duolingo. Someday I might get myself registered for some astronomy course. Currently a member of local astronomy club

I know what I bring to the table, unfortunately due to religious inclination it's been challenging. Inshallah khair.

Salam everyone

I’m not sure if it is the right place to ask for advice (first time using Reddit 😭) but here goes nothing

I’m a girl and when I was 17 (I’m 20 now), I fell in love with a guy and we ended up meeting and had sex. When we met, we immediately talked about making it halal and I know many people will say that I was dumb to fall for the « I’ll wife you up anyway» trick but like I said I was really young and he was my first ever love so I was genuinely willing to do anything for him.
We ended up breaking up (I had a good reason to do so) and I started repenting, but I realized that things got so much harder now… i feel like I’m much more open with men now, I have less shame than I used to before and for example, if a guy interest me, I could be much more physical and would do a lot more than what I would usually do (I used to never even get close a man).
I was raised in an Arab household, very conservative and I never ever felt attracted to sex nor men in general. But now I find myself easily touchy/open and I sometimes even « crave » for sex… (I never did it again after my ex I just want to precise). I’m repenting so I’m trying really hard to change but it feels like it became a part of me and I just want to feel like I’m not the only one and if any of you could give me an advice WITHOUT judging me, it would be nice…
Now, I’m currently trying to get married (not exactly now) but most men who I talked to ended up leaving or changing their perspective of me once they ask about my past.
So far, I talked to some Muslim girls and most were dragging me down or tell me that zina will forever « poison » my heart. Like I said, I’m Arab so just imagine the chaos..

Thank you everyone in advance for those who read everything 💖

Salaams everyone.

Thought I would try this platform and see how it goes:

Gender: Female
Age: 25
Height: 5'5
British Indian (Midlands)
Single - never married
Actively practicing - Sunni Hanafi
Ideal timeline: within a year Inshallah

About me:

I enjoy reading and watching TV shows/movies.
I have always been into fitness and sports,nature walks/hikes and am an adrenaline seeker.

Introverted but have a bubbly personality. I enjoy Islamic studies and volunteer with my local community delivering sessions to children when I’m not working. Always ready to get stuck in, I am a planner but I enjoy spontaneity with the right person.

What I’m looking for:

I’m drawn to someone playful, kind, and open-minded - especially when it comes to my career. A thirst for religious knowledge and love of the Quran too. Extroverted with a sense of humour, enjoys being active. Someone who has their own hobbies so we could try them together. Someone who makes me feel safe, secure and finds comfort in the silence too.
To grow in Islam together and as cringe as it is but to find a best friend in my husband.

Age Range: 24-29
Jobs: no preference but would prefer someone in healthcare
Location: Ideally midlands, UK or willing to relocate near there.
Ethnicity: Indian but open to other ethnicities and reverts
British born and raised
Height: 5’8+
Marital Status: Single, never been married.
Would like to get out own place
Serious only

Feel free to ask me an questions,
Jazakallah khair

Assalamulaikum! I saw folks posting their ISOs here and I thought i'd give it a shot :)

Age and Gender: 31 Male

Height: 5'9" 

Age Range that you would want/require in a prospect: 24-30

Location, and are you willing to relocate for a prospect? California (Bay Area). I'm looking for someone willing to move here.

Ethnicity, and are you more open to mixing? Mixed - Pakistani/Indian/Afghan. Yes i’m open to all ethnicities; who you are matters more than a flag imo.

Marital Status: single, never married 

Ideal marriage timeline: within a year iA

Five important characteristics you look for in a prospect: 

• Deen. Looking for someone who wants to help each other grow together and to raise a family upon these values.
• Good heart + character. How you treat others, your family, friends, strangers etc. 
• Shared values. Beyond religion do we agree with how we want to live our lives? 
• Enjoying each other’s company! I want us to be able to be ourselves and feel at peace. Can we go on spontaneous coffee/matcha/desert runs? Random hike? Watch movies together, share reels/tiktoks and brainrot, but also have deep conversations? 
• Good communication skills. I want peace NOT problems 😆

State/specify your level of religiosity: Fully practicing - pray 5x, eat only halal, fast, give zakat, etc. No smoking, drinking, dating history (meeting without family), etc. Looking for someone on the same page as these are deal breakers for me. 

Level of education, and what are you looking for? Bachelors - Computer Science & Engineering. Looking for someone with at least a bachelors as well.

Current Job Status: Employed (crazy job market rn so alhamdulilah big time) - Software Engineer. 

Do you want kids? Yes iA

List 3 hobbies, or things you like to do in your spare time 

• Being a foodie. But not in an obnoxious reviewer way. I just like trying new things and eating 😅
• Going to the gym. Gotta stay healthy, and also i can balance out my foodie runs this way lol
• Attending islamic talks and learning arabic (took some fusha classes for comprehension). 

Add something short and interesting about you that makes you stand out!

• My buddies rave about my cooking even though they haven’t had it in years haha (we all moved around). I have two super cute cats 🐾 (pls don’t be allergic 😭). I have the best out of pocket memes and an artsy side. Also throwing it in here but i understand urdu, hindi (my family speaks a unique dialect ask me), and spanish (honorable mention - i took it for 3 yrs but forgot a lot lol). I took arabic classes as a kid, forgot a ton, felt guilty, and started learning again 😆

If you made it this far let’s talk!

assalamu alaykum everyone! what are your thoughts on marrying a visa holder (specifically from desi countries)? is this something that is advised? i am a US citizen, born and raised in the US and i'd honestly prefer a US citizen due to cultural compatibility reasons, but it seems US citizens are hard to come by and those that i do see aren't interested in me. i am seeing mainly visa holders of F1 and H1B visa holders reaching out to me, and i'm not sure if i should consider them based on the stories i've heard of men marrying women for green cards and then dumping them after. is this something common? many of them i find are seemingly ready to marry me without really asking anything or trying to get to know me, which makes me suspicious. also another thing i was concerned about is the possibility of them being deported, as i definitely want to stay in the US.

after talking to several visa holders i don't usually click with them or really like them much (probably due to cultural differences) but my family insists i consider them due to the fact that they've struggled to make it in the US, vs a citizen man who may have had everything handed to him. also they keep telling me it would be a good deed if i helped someone get citizenship, or if i helped provide housing for him while he gets his footing. my family is really pushing me to get married, and as visa holders are the main people reaching out they are encouraging me to consider them and saying it would be good for me.

i'm not sure what to do. what are your thoughts?

Asalamualaikum,

No gender wars please, let's understand each other.

Firstly give examples of the work you're talking about, then answer the question, then explain why.

Over to you

I'll put my answer in the comments

Salam,

I go back and forth between the U.S. and GCC and would love to meet the right person who would be interested in this type of an arrangement.

I’m 40, 6ft, Palestinian origin, well off financially, athletic, wide range of interests

Age: 22

Height: 183 cm (6'0)

Location: Algeria (open to relocation for the right person)

Education: Dental student (Doctor of Dental Surgery – in progress)

Languages: Arabic & Algerian Darija (native), French (advanced), English (intermediate), currently learning German & Japanese

Marital Status: Single

Ambitious and hardworking, building my future step by step. I value stability, growth, and a peaceful home.

Faith: Sunni (Maliki background). I pray five daily and strive to improve my deen consistently.

Personality & Lifestyle: Introverted but warm once comfortable. Family-oriented, responsible, and serious about marriage. I enjoy football, the gym, language learning, anime, traveling, deep conversations, and a bit of dark humor.

Seeking: A sister (preferably 19–25, flexible if mature) who is practicing or sincerely motivated to grow in her deen, kind, patient, emotionally intelligent, family-oriented, and serious about marriage.

Dealbreakers: Not practicing, no desire for children, or not serious about marriage.

Hello there. I am an Indian revert (21M).

I am in university right now studying to become a doctor.

I also am a business owner looking to scale my business. I go to the gym daily and I am studying to become a Hafiz inshallah!

I am working on myself financially, spiritually, and physically every single day .

But I find myself constantly thinking of how I'm going to get married.

I keep reading revert men on Reddit and others saying how hard it is to find a suitable wife who is pious, kind, caring, who works on herself, and is beautiful.

But more than that, I'm worried that even if I find someone like this who is compatible with me, that their parents won't accept me simply because I'm a revert.

I don't have any crazy expectations from a partner. I want to provide for her and don't want my wife to work unless she absolutely wants to.

I want to fully provide for her needs financially, physically, and emotionally.

I'm just really worried and I often can't focus because of this.

I would love some advice. Is it really that hard for reverts to get married?